Translator’s Note
You may listen to Before It Sinks In while reading this chapter.
12
When Ji-jie found the medicine bottle in the trash can, she panicked. She couldn’t understand the meaning of the foreign words written on it, so she hurriedly knocked on He Yusen’s bedroom door to try to find out what was going on.
He Yusen fell into a drowsy sleep after taking his medicine, and it was only when Ji-jie kept on knocking on the door for a long time that he slowly woke up from his sleep.
He hurriedly got up and opened the door. “What’s wrong, Ji…” before he could finish speaking, he saw the medicine bottle in her hand and slowly closed his mouth. However, his eyes revealed his calmness.
“Xiao He, what disease do you have?” Ji-jie took a deep breath and held back her tears. “Come, I’ll take you to the doctor.”
Saying that, she attempted to pull He Yusen’s arm. During the past few months, she had witnessed all of his changes. Every time she asked out of concern, he would deceive her and treat his own condition as nothing important. However, this time, she wouldn’t be—
He Yusen gently avoided her hand. Ji-jie then looked at him in dismay. This was the first time he had rejected her like this.
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“Dkys Tl, R jdso usw xwpv cl nakvknyzzu kzz. Rq usw ts sd zkjl vbkp, R esd’v jdso…” Fbl cltyd vs rlapwyel bkx ytykd. Tl Zwpld oyp ps vbkd vbyv bl pllxle vs byhl sdzu csdlp zlqv, yp kq kd vbl dlmv plnsde, bl oswze ekppkryvl kdvs vbl yka, obknb xyel bla rydkn.&dcpr;
“Kk-fkl,” Tl Zwpld nyzzle bla dyxl yde rywple qsa y xsxldv, cwv vbld bl nsdvkdwle, “Kk-fkl, R nyd’v cl nwale.”
13
Kk-fkl clnyxl vbl qkapv rlapsd bl oyp okzzkdt vs pbyal bkp pvsau okvb.
Rv oswzed’v alyzzu xyvvla kq bl vsze lhlauvbkdt dso. Gqvla yzz, bl sdzu bye y qlo eyup zlqv, yde bl ds zsdtla nyale xwnb ycswv vbl rypv. Lsdlvblzlpp, bl bye ekqqknwzvu vyzjkdt vss xwnb, ps bkp pvsau oyp zsdt yde eayod-swv.
Wsavwdyvlzu, Kk-fkl eked’v pyu yduvbkdt vs bkx.
Kk-fkl nakle ps byae vbyv pbl nswzed’v blzr blaplzq cwv vs pyu vbyv bl oyp pwnb y pvwrke qssz—vbyv bl oyp vss vkle vs Nw Kkdt yde oyp wdyczl vs zlv bkx ts qasx bkp blyav. Rq bl jdlo vbyv bl bye pwnb y nakvknyz kzzdlpp, vbld bl pbswze byhl prldv bkp zypv eyup byrrkzu yzsdl. Vlabyrp, kq bl ldfsule bkxplzq yde yvvykdle byrrkdlpp, bl oswze cl yczl vs alnshla qasx bkp ekplypl.
Rdpvlye sq ldekdt wr zkjl vbkp — kd lmvalxl pyedlpp.
She cried and said that Lu Jing didn’t deserve him. This made him think while in a trance whether it was worth it or not, because Lu Jing was indeed the last person he wanted to see. However, he just didn’t expect the ending to be this bad.
He watched Ji-jie cry and felt sorry, so he whispered to her, “Please, stop crying.”
Ji-jie shook her head while crying and hugged him. “Xiao He, ah…”
Strangely enough, it was him who could no longer shed a tear anymore.
The last time he shed tears was when Lu Jing despised him. The despairing breakdown and tearing pain, that he experienced at that time, was now like a dream from his previous life when he thought about it.
He looked down and slowly hugged Ji-jie back.
“Don’t tell Lu Jing about this,” he carefully considered his words, “I’m afraid he won’t be happy.”
When Ji-jie heard what he said, her tears flowed even more uncontrollably.
He didn’t have any last wishes, so he told Ji-jie that when he left, everything should be kept simple. Anyway, nothing would matter to him anymore by then.
“I still want to see the world.” Although there would no longer be a chance…
“Maybe it would be nice to scatter my ashes into the ocean.” He began to fantasize that his soul was swimming with the waters to the ends of the world, and a little smile gradually bloomed on his lips as he thought about it.
Ji-jie didn’t answer and slowly wiped away the tears from the corners of her eyes.
“I have hired a family doctor at my own expense, and he’ll come here tomorrow,” she said. “I told him about you, and he said he would try his best.”
He Yusen was stunned, “Ji-jie…”
She took a deep breath and walked out of the room, not daring to face him.
He Yusen pursed his lips and thought that Ji-jie was so kind to him.
Much better than how Lu Hing had treated him.
Look, Lu-ge, all you did was hurt me now.
You were no longer the gentlest to me.
14
It was snowing outside. On the balcony, he sat on a reclining chair and looked out in a daze. When Ji-jie saw him, she immediately rushed in to cover him with a thick blanket.
From this angle, he could see the blanket of white snow and the vast mountains in the distance.
It looked so beautiful.
As he gazed at them, he felt a little drowsy. However, Lu Jing called and he was jolted awake by the ringtone.
15
It turned out that Lu Jing was traveling with Lin Yu to some small town in Northern Europe.
He wondered whether he had completely failed Lu Jing. At least, he had found another person who could travel with him; instead of He Yusen—who was now an old, ugly, and sickly man.
It was just that he felt a little pity.
He really no longer had a chance anymore.
Who would have expected that the two people, who made many promises together back then, would end up like this?
“Did you look for me?” Lu Jing asked, “I saw your phone call, what’s the matter?”
He Yusen said softly, “Nothing.”
After he finished speaking, he was a little regretful. He was afraid that Lu Jing would abruptly cut the line off, thus, he hurriedly called out his name.
“Lu-ge…”
“What?”
He Yusen suddenly felt as if he couldn’t hear the other person’s voice. Maybe there was something wrong with his hearing—but this was also good, as he could no longer hear the annoyance and disgust in the other person’s tone that made him wince in fear.
“Lu-ge…” His voice grew softer, “I want to see you.”
Did Lu-ge hear him or had he already… hung up?
Too bad, why did it seem like the snow was getting heavier and wider? He couldn’t seem to see anything anymore.
“I want to travel with you too.”
“How good would it be…”
…if I didn’t get sick?
He Yusen didn’t know whether he was able to say the last few words out loud.
At this time, he truly uttered the words that were hidden in his heart.
In any case, Lu Jing might not necessarily have heard it and might have hung up as he usually did.
What… a pity.
He let out a light breath.
On this snowy evening, He Yusen gently closed his eyes.
End of Main Story
Translator’s Note
In the original site, this chapter is full of comments of “Good night, Xiao Sen.”1He Yusen’s nickname.
Coming back to this chapter again, just to leave a parting message for Yusen:
Sleep peacefully, Yusen. It’s alright now. I can only hope in your next life, you’ll find someone or something that would make you feel far more courageous than in this life.
Thank you for this beautiful translation!
Good night, Xiao Sen.
Thank you for the translation. Ngl, I’ve been weeping until I can’t breathe from the stuffy nose.