Chapter 7

— Second time responding to something I said. +30.

94 points now.

— Cigarette burn. -10.

84.

Lin Xigu looked over the log he had been keeping for She Xiao and chortled. At one point, it had dipped dangerously close to the negatives and it was only by grace of the 5 or 8 points that he would tack on daily for his looks that kept the total floating above the zero mark. In his excitement, Lin Xigu had added a whopping 60 points after She Xiao had said “mn” that one day. So now he was being quite generous with his deductions to keep up with the rate of inflation. By his earlier standards, the cigarette burn would have only warranted a 3 point deduction.

The class reps were all clamouring at the blackboard to post the assignment lists before their final class of the day. Checking against the board, Lin Xigu selected the textbooks he would need to bring home to complete his homework that night and proceeded to do the same with She Xiao’s books. 

The stench of cigarettes preceded She Xiao when he returned from break. He glanced at the organized pile of books on his desk, then kept his nose to the paper for the rest of the day, finishing his homework in the span of that last class. He never needed to search through his desk; Lin Xigu had already set aside everything that he needed. 

After a full day of school, the bandage on his neck had lost its stick and an edge was starting to lift off his skin.

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Lin Xigu could tell right away that she was She Xiao’s mother. The resemblance was uncanny, especially their eyes. She was sitting with perfect poise, her long hair down with one side tucked behind her ears, her head bowed as she perused She Xiao’s report card.

His dad’s assistant would be leaving shortly after the conference ended. Lin Xigu didn’t know him well, so he assumed he wouldn’t have to wait there until conference ended. He left through the back gates of the school, hoping to take a shortcut home, and was in the process of choosing a song to listen to when he noticed movement in his peripheral vision. Recognition stopped him in his tracks. 

She Xiao was leaning against the bike rack, smoking. He took a long drag of his cigarette and exhaled slowly, his eyes staring ahead, looking at nothing in particular.

Lin Xigu often smelled the cigarettes on his body, but this was the first time that he had actually seen She Xiao smoking. He looked a little depraved but also… insanely good. Although he was wearing his school uniform, and looked every bit like a well-mannered teenager, defiance and rebellion were written all over his face and eyes. The way he smoked made him look like just another delinquent. 

Maybe his brain was fried, but Lin Xigu felt that She Xiao looked slightly… lonesome. The word was not a good fit for She Xiao at all; he had been acting as a lone wolf for so long, he probably didn’t even know the meaning of the word ‘lonesome’.

Although he couldn’t quite put his finger on it, seeing She Xiao like this made his heart feel sore, like a splinter had broken off inside of it.

But Lin Xigu could not exactly stand there watching someone smoke like an idiot. He hesitated but decided against walking over to say hi, choosing to walk away instead.

She Xiao must be waiting for his mom. Otherwise, he would have been long gone by now.

Speaking of which, there was probably nobody in their class who was more alone than Lin Xigu himself. From dawn to dusk, he was always by himself. Lin Xigu pulled out his phone and dialed his mom’s number. 

“Hello, Mama,” Lin Xigu’s tone was light as he greeted the woman on the other end of the line.

“Nothing much, just walking. I didn’t want to seem too lonely so I’m calling you ahead of schedule. We had our parent-teacher conference today. My dad couldn’t make time; he had Zhong-ge come in his place.”

“Ah, I’ll be having dinner as soon as I get home. Don’t worry about me. You should go eat as well.”

“Okay, that’s all I wanted to talk about. Hanging up now. Miss you.”

Lin Xigu blew a kiss at the phone and hung up, listening to music the rest of the way. He wondered what Zhou-ayi had cooking for dinner that night. Those fried fish cakes she’d made the other night were delicious.

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The parent-teacher conference had cast a sombre mood over a large swathe of students. The ones who were usually rowdy were more subdued than usual. Perhaps the conference had been their kryptonite.

One such example was their class rep for Chinese Lit, a boy named Xu Zheng who was usually annoying, even on a good day. He looked down on She Xiao, and always found a way to bump his desk or knock down his books whenever he walked down their aisle. However, he seemed uncharacteristically well-behaved today as he handed back their graded papers, a dejected look on his face. He had probably received a stern talking-to from his parents.

“Lin Xigu, here,” he reached over She Xiao to hand him his paper. Lin Xigu smiled and thanked him.

“Ugh, you don’t have to thank me. Why do you have to be so polite? You say ‘thanks’ and I say ‘no problem.’ He says ‘thanks’, then I have to say the same thing again. If I have to say that for every piece of homework I hand back, I’ll die of exhaustion.” Xu Zheng didn’t mean anything by it. His only method of dealing with his pent-up resentment was to take advantage of any and all opportunities to complain.

Lin Xigu smiled and didn’t take the bait.

Li Balei’s tongzhuo was an introvert who didn’t normally speak unless spoken to. However, he was known to engage once the atmosphere livened up, so they had chatted on occasion. Lin Xigu considered him a friend.

“Fang Xiaoshan, here’s yours.”

“Okay, thank…” He had overhead Xu Zheng’s little rant and remembering this, he swallowed the rest of his words before he had finished his sentence.

“How do I respond to one half of a ‘thank you’? Do I even say anything at all?”

Fang Xiaoshan looked at him, not deigning to answer.

“You could say ‘you’re welc’,” Li Balei said with her head down. “He says half, you say half.”

The next handout was for Li Balei. Xu Zheng casually placed the paper down on her desk and said, “For you, Li Ba.”

He was being a little obnoxious. As a rule, girls did not suffer fools gladly and she frowned at him. “Are you asking to be hit?”

“You were the one who said it. He says half, I say half.” Xu Zheng tried to evade her by cutting through the back row. Li Balei’s temper got the best of her as she stood and swung her textbook at him.

Xu Zheng was sliding past She Xiao when his arm was knocked aside by the blow and his grip loosened. Nothing was an exception to the laws of gravity; everything he had been holding came crashing down on She Xiao’s head.

“Watch it!” Lin Xigu felt his heart drop into his stomach. He instinctively reached out to save the pile from falling, but it would have been impossible to catch everything.

If Xu Zheng had only been holding a stack of paper, it would not have been so bad, but Lin Xigu couldn’t just stand by and watch the two workbooks he had also been holding fall on She Xiao’s neck. The stitches on She Xiao’s neck had not healed properly yet. If the corners on those books lifted the scab, it was sure to draw blood. 

It was a good thing that Lin Xigu had fast reflexes. His palm flashed to She Xiao’s neck, shielding his wound.

When the books connected with his head and body, She Xiao woke instantly, sitting straight up as though guided by practice or instinct. His first reaction was to turn and look at Lin Xigu, who still had his hand pressed to his neck. Being stared at by She Xiao like that brought back a familiar feeling. He was about to blush. 

She Xiao straightened. Now the orientation of their bodies made it look like Lin Xigu was holding him.

There was no way he could have everyone witness him blushing! They would be able to tell right away that he was being weird! But the hardened scab tickled the palm clasped firmly to She Xiao’s skin… Lin Xigu wasn’t willing to let go just yet. 

And – and – and…. It wasn’t like he could control his blushing.

She Xiao turned his head to the class rep and the look he was given sent shivers down Xu Zheng’s spine. Although he was usually a little rat who took swipes at She Xiao from a safe distance, he only did those things because he knew that his actions would go ignored. Now that She Xiao had fixed him down with his silent stare, he was quaking in his shoes.

After all, this was the infamous She Xiao, the violent hoodlum who would have no qualms about beating someone to death! What a way to f*ck himself over!

“I’m – I’m sorry. It was an accident.” Xu Zheng knelt down to pick up the homework scattered on the floor and desks. His heart was trembling, although he tried his best to maintain a calm expression. She Xiao did not move and simply continued to glare at him.

The entire room was looking their way now. Lin Xigu made like he had only just remembered that his hand was still on She Xiao’s neck and withdrew it quickly.

The impact from those two books really did sting. Lin Xigu looked down at his hands. The backs of his hands were red and the corner on one of the books had scraped off a bit of skin when it fell. He rubbed his hands and thought that Xu Zheng really was an unlikable person. She Xiao was sleeping. Couldn’t you have been a little more careful when walking by him?

Didn’t Li Balei only hit you because you were being obnoxious?

When She Xiao had looked at him after abruptly waking from his nap, his eyes had been red, and the skin around his eyes was reddened as well. The intensity of that gaze had nearly destroyed Lin Xigu’s heart.

Remembering those eyes, he frowned at Xu Zheng, “Is it too much to ask for you to be careful?”

She Xiao was sleeping so soundly, and you startled him. Why did you have to wake him? Couldn’t you have just let him sleep?

“I didn’t mean to drop them,” Xu Zheng mumbled.

“You should still apologize even if you didn’t mean to do it,” Lin Xigu’s brow was still furrowed.

Feeling embarrassed about being called out in front of so many people, Xu Zheng snapped defensively, “Didn’t I already say I’m sorry? How else should I apologize? Does he need me to take him to the hospital to get an X-ray?”

“Yo, what’s with that tone?” Li Balei heckled. “You think you’re hot shit for dropping books on someone’s head, don’t you?”

Xu Zheng scowled at her and turned to leave.

She Xiao raised his arm. Lin Xigu’s stomach clenched and he immediately seized She Xiao’s hand, quietly urging in his ear, “Just ignore him!”

She Xiao looked at him.

Xu Zheng passed by them. She Xiao threw off Lin Xigu’s hand and rubbed the back of his head.

Ah… so he wasn’t going to punch him after all.

Lin Xigu felt slightly embarrassed and laughed it off, then turned to cradle his own hand. He was glad that those books had not made contact with She Xiao’s neck. If his wounds had reopened before they were fully healed, his scars would be that much worse in the future.