Chapter 8

— Didn’t lose his temper when rudely awakened. +10

94.

Over the next few days, Lin Xigu repeatedly replayed the memory of She Xiao’s expression after he had been startled from sleep. The red around his eyes had made him seem almost pitiful. It made his heart hurt.

He could hardly stand it.

It was the start of yet another weekend. Lin Xigu was out exploring his favourite street again and happened to bump into Xie Yang who was coming down the road carrying several large bags.

“Hey, what’s up?” Xie Yang was the first to initiate conversation.

Lin Xigu smiled. “Nothing much, just out on a walk. Did you go shopping?”

“Ah, yup,” Xie Yang fell in lockstep with Lin Xigu as they made their way home. “Went to the supermarket.”

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Nkd Dktw pyo vbyv bkp bydep olal qwzz ps bl hszwdvllale vs sqqzsye y cyt qasx bkx.

”Mbyv’p aktbv, R pvkzz esd’v jdso uswa dyxl?” Dkl Zydt ypjle.

“Nkd Dktw. ‘Dktw’ yp kd ‘oyzjkdt lypv cwv zssjkdt olpv’¹

东走西顾 (Psdt Hsw Dk Qw): “Eyzjkdt lypv cwv zssjkdt olpv.” Dktw’p dyxlpyjl nsxlp qasx y Tyd eudypvu rslx. Mbl rslx elpnakclp y osxyd obs oyp nypv ypkel cu bla zshla cu nsxryakdt bla vs y aycckv nbyple swv sq bla bsxl. Mbl rslx vblxyvknyzzu alhszhlp yaswde&dcpr;altalv yde ulyadkdt qsa eyup zsdt tsdl. Rvp plxydvkn xlydkdt kp yp qszzsop (okvb Psdt Hsw Dk Qw xyvnbkdt vbl xlydkdt kd vbl plnsde zkdl sq vbl pvydgy), Yu vbydjp vs vbl ydsduxswp wpla qasx Hbkbw qsa vbkp vaydpzyvksd. R byhl yeyrvle kv pzktbvzu okvb xu sod osaekdt：“Frwad’e obkvl aycckv oydela’e zsdl,/ rywple yde vwad’e – yoykvkdt obsx? / Qyaxldvp dlo, swa ryppksdp rasdl;/ Nshlap sze, vbaswtb ytlp czssx.”,’ Nkd Dktw alxshle bkp lyarbsdlp yde pvwnj vblx cynj kdvs bkp rsnjlv. Tkp nsdhlapyvksd okvb Dkl Zydt oyp rwdnvwyvle cu rlaksep sq nsxqsavyczl pkzldnl. Nkd Dktw bye pvyavle pnbssz y ulya lyazkla vbyd xspv sq bkp rllap, ps kd ynvwyzkvu, vblal oyp y vos ulya tyr clvolld vblx. Tsolhla, vblu pbyale xydu pkxkzya kdvlalpvp ps vbl nsdhlapyvksd dlhla pvyzzle.

“Ps usw rzyu cypjlvcyzz yv yzz?” Dkl Zydt ypjle. “R’hl dlhla plld usw sd vbl nswav, ps R’x yppwxkdt usw esd’v?”

“Zlyb, R’x dsv lmynvzu prsavp xyvlakyz,” Nkd Dktw nbwnjzle. “Psd’v byhl vbl tldlp qsa kv.”

Dkl Zydt pxkzle, pyukdt “Zsw pbswze pvyav osajkdt swv kd uswa pryal vkxl, cwkze wr uswa pvyxkdy. Zsw’al vss pjkddu.”

Nkd Dktw xyel y dskpl sq ynjdsozletlxldv.&dcpr;

As they were riding up in the elevator, Xie Yang invited Lin Xigu over for dinner. Lin Xigu politely refused. “Nah, I’m good. Zhou-ayi’s already made dinner today. I don’t want her hard work to go to waste. Come find me anytime you’re bored though. I’m usually the only one home so you are always welcome.”

Xie Yang scratched his head awkwardly. “It’s true that I’ve never seen anyone else around your house. I didn’t think it was my place to ask.”

Lin Xigu smiled nonchalantly. “I don’t mind. My parents are busy with work, so here I am, living alone.”

“Sounds good. Then I’ll come hangout more often in the future. Let me know if I’m ever being a bother though.”

“Not at all.” Lin Xigu waved to him and closed the door.

There was the usual small feast waiting for him on the table: three dishes and a soup, a balanced mix of vegetables and protein. Lin Xigu ate by himself, washed the dishes, then lay down in bed, lost in thought. He was not addicted to video games and although he spent most of his weekends playing them, he’d lost interest quickly after a time. Staring at his monitor for too long also gave him a headache. 

Weekends were a drag. Two days of utter boredom.

Lin Xigu wondered if he should advertise for a roommate. He couldn’t care less about the rent but they would need to be on the same wavelength, at the very least. He banished the thought quickly. He didn’t want to share space with a total stranger, couldn’t ask a girl to room with him, and was such a stickler for appearances that he hardly thought any male candidates would be able to qualify.

But if it were She Xiao…

He was not allowed to go there. He shouldn’t even have had the thought. It was too easy to lose himself in that fantasy once he started thinking about it.

The very thought of getting to watch She Xiao take his meals, sleep, and shower made the blood rush to his head. He couldn’t even imagine how blessed his life would be. Even the sight of She Xiao napping on his desk made him weak; how much better would She Xiao look waking up first thing in the morning?

No, he really shouldn’t go there. 

Lin Xigu forced himself to think about anything other than She Xiao. For example, should he get new bedsheets in a darker colour? Should he treat himself to a restaurant outing tomorrow? Should he bring milk for She Xiao again on Monday? She Xiao hadn’t refused when he had offered it to him last week. The way he drank from the straw was adorably ruthless.

Ah… he was going to die. Why was he thinking about She Xiao again?

Lin Xigu had to admit, he was a little horny.

When he first transferred here, he had liked looking at She Xiao solely because of his looks and nothing else. But after days of sitting together, he could feel something more being added to the mix.

Emotions of all sorts, messy and entangled.

---

Now that the weather had warmed over, no one was wearing their uniform jackets anymore. Boys and girls alike now wore white, short-sleeved button-downs. The girls’ shirts were made of a slightly thicker material so the shirts were less see-through.

She Xiao looked skinny from the outside but after shedding his baggy jacket, he was much more fit than Lin Xigu had expected. Although he was still far too pale, his skin was flawless. Whenever he took notes in class, his white forearm would sway in Lin Xigu’s field of vision, his summer uniform making him look like porcelain.

Monday morning, Lin Xigu brought in a box of chocolates for Li Balei and milk for She Xiao.

He stuck the straw in the carton and held it where She Xiao could see, prompting quietly, “Here, for you.”

Drink up. The more milk you drink, the brighter your skin will be. It’s good for digestion too. Drink more. Hurry.²T/N: I take no responsibility for LXG’s tenuous grasp of nutrition and dietary science.

She Xiao looked down and wordlessly took the milk from Lin Xigu, biting down on the straw. Lin Xigu could feel his pulse quickening. He liked the way She Xiao drank. He didn’t sip, the way most people did, but rather drained the carton in one straight gulp.

Even the way he drank his milk made him look like a delinquent.

And after downing the milk, he chased it down with water. 

Lin Xigu continued blathering, “I forgot to return your notes after I was looking at them last time. I didn’t realize until yesterday that I had brought them home with me. I’m sorry. I hope you didn’t need them this weekend? I completely forgot I had them.”

She Xiao flipped idly through his English textbook. His tone was aloof, as usual. ”It’s fine.”

Although She Xiao would occasionally respond to him now, it didn’t stop Lin Xigu from feeling a thrill of excitement every time he heard his voice. She Xiao’s voice was a little hoarse, and he only spoke one or two words at a time; there was truly nothing more exhilarating. 

Lin Xigu buried his head in his desk, replaying the words in his head, too afraid to show his face lest he be found out.

In times like these, he felt that it was a tiring thing to be gay. He had to hide even something as innocuous as a blush, not daring to be normal about it.

Zhou Cheng walked in with a stack of handouts under his arm and instructed the class representative to distribute them. He tapped on the blackboard and waited for the class to quiet down. “Let me just say that everyone in our class did well on the test last week. I know I’m always hard on you, but I don’t withhold praise when it’s earned. Ever since our parent-teacher conferences, you have all been incredibly motivated. In my opinion, we should be hosting these monthly. Your families can do the hard work of lecturing you and I can take a breather.”

The students laughed and booed him. A monthly parent-teacher conference would be hell on earth.

Lin Xigu was not afraid of parent-teacher conferences. He did not get up to any trouble, so there was nothing negative the teachers could report on. And even if they had complaints to lodge against him, there was no one around to hold him accountable anyways.

The morning passed peacefully. Lin Xigu assessed all the uniforms he could see during his lunch break and was not able to find a single person who wore it better than She Xiao. She Xiao was born to wear white button-downs, looking so immaculate that he almost glowed with radiance. 

No, that wasn’t it either. He looked good no matter what he wore.

But afternoon soon came around and Lin Xigu was shocked to find a large footprint on She Xiao’s shirt, which he usually kept starched and clean. There was a large tear on his sleeve as well.

He was instantly upset, his breaths coming out in shallow bursts. That footprint was planted squarely in the middle of She Xiao’s back. It was obvious that he had been kicked.

Lin Xigu couldn’t stand the thought of anyone kicking She Xiao. He wasn’t worried about She Xiao’s ability to defend himself, but how could anyone bear to soil She Xiao’s pristine white shirt and, for that matter, the equally pristine She Xiao?

”Did you… get in a fight again?” Lin Xigu asked in a small voice.

She Xiao glanced at him. No reply.

“You need to stop fighting,” Lin Xigu was beyond frustrated but was too nervous to show it. “Because of what happened last time… aren’t you still on probation? They’ll expel you if they catch you breaking the rules again.”

She Xiao had almost been expelled in the previous incident. The school had not been ready to let go of their star student, so they had collectively agreed to place him on probation. Although this new designation sounded severe, he was essentially safe as long as he did not incur any major trouble.

But She Xiao was notoriously unstable and was fighting every other day. Lin Xigu’s whole heart was on tenterhooks.

As expected, Lin Xigu spotted a few skinheads from Class 5 loitering by the back gates when school let out for the day, smoking and patrolling the path. He purposely dragged his feet, timing his exit, so that by the time he walked through the gates, She Xiao was following just behind him. Those unfriendly eyes immediately homed in on She Xiao.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5… Five against one. What a disgrace.

She Xiao had only himself.

Lin Xigu was not stupid enough to volunteer as a punching bag. He would barely amount to half a person if it came to that. He simply did not know how to fight.

He turned and looked at She Xiao. She Xiao was still wearing the same apathetic expression he always had. Sure, it was cool, but he was about to get his butt kicked if he didn’t take action. Lin Xigu wanted badly to shake him by the shoulders.

He tried to think about it rationally, then took out his phone and called Dean Yi.

The dean was surprised to receive a call from him, although his attitude was friendly. “Xigu? What is it?”

Lin Xigu whispered into the mic, “Yi-shu, I think I’m about to be mugged over by the back gates. I think they want money? Should I give it to them? They’re all smoking. I don’t know if they go to our school but I don’t have much change on me. What if they don’t believe me?”

“Don’t move! Stay there and wait for me!” Dean Yi yelled into the phone, immediately distressed. He ran over to the corridor window overlooking the back gates where he spotted Lin Xigu with his backpack and a few other people who were standing in front of him. It was too far away to tell who was who.

As soon as he hung up, he dialled the security office. He had promised Lin Xigu’s father several times over that his precious boy would be safe under his watch. If Lin Xigu had really been harmed at his school, how would he ever be able to call in favours again?

Lin Xigu shoved his phone back into his pocket and stopped walking. When She Xiao started to overtake him, he moved to stop him and She Xiao reflexively elbowed his arm out of the way. Lin Xigu didn’t mind and called his name quietly instead.

She Xiao’s mouth pressed into a hard line and he turned to look at Lin Xigu.

”Wait up. I – uh, think I left my homework in your bag by accident.” Lin Xigu did not dare to touch She Xiao again, so he grabbed the straps of his backpack instead, keeping him from walking away.

She Xiao was still watching him.

Lin Xigu was struck with a sudden thought and he leaned in, whispering, “She Xiao, I’m going to grab something from you. Don’t shake me off, and don’t hit me either.”

And then he reached into She Xiao’s pants pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter, transferring the items into his own pockets. Unexpectedly, She Xiao did as he was instructed and simply continued to look at him, doing nothing.

Lin Xigu could see the skinheads moving in on them, cigarettes hanging out of their mouths. Their target was clearly She Xiao. Lin Xigu stayed where he was, pressed against She Xiao who made no attempt to move either.

Dean Yi sprinted into view just in time to see Lin Xigu being cornered, with some rearing to throw the first punch.

“What do you think you’re doing! What class are you all from? Don’t move a f*cking muscle!” The dean rushed over and kicked the first skinhead he saw. “Robbing someone at school in broad daylight – the audacity! And smoking too, to boot? What part of this is appropriate behaviour for a student?”

Lin Xigu nodded at him in greeting.

The dean turned his eyes on She Xiao and raised his eyebrows. “Well, well. An old familiar face. And what are you doing here?”

Lin Xigu interjected, “Yi-shu, he was helping me! He’s my tongzhuo!”

The dean gave She Xiao the once-over and said nothing else.

Everyone who was present was searched except for Lin Xigu, She Xiao included. The dean found cigarettes on the rest of them and even found a switchblade on one of the boys. Dean Yi was beside himself with outrage and immediately called their parents on the spot.

Lin Xigu quickly led She Xiao away amidst the ensuing chaos.

He didn’t know what consequences awaited the students, but a write-up was almost guaranteed. Smoking was explicitly prohibited by the school’s code of conduct but was enforced to varying degrees. Most students caught smoking were usually let go with a warning, but if the school really wanted to discipline the rulebreakers, they would be well within their rights to enforce the rule to its fullest extent, never mind the knife that one of them had been carrying on his person.

Brawling in the schoolyard, smoking, and concealed carry of a weapon.

Getting caught would be enough to put a stop to their misbehaviour, unless they were trying to get expelled. Walking across the field, Lin Xigu looked over at She Xiao who had not said a single word throughout the entire incident. He couldn’t tell if She Xiao was angry at him for meddling in his affairs again.

Fine. Be angry at me then, Lin Xigu thought. No one was wearing much in this heat. There were no layers to cushion the damage if it had come to blows.

”Don’t… fight anymore,” Lin Xigu chewed on his lip and looked at She Xiao. “I’m going home now. See you tomorrow.”