Chapter 11.2

Everyone told her she was wrong, even in moments when she was the victim, she was still in the wrong.

Her “I’m sorry” wasn’t an excuse to him. It was the world teaching her to apologize for everything.

He drove back to the residential area where he and Ye Sibei lived. After parking the car, he ran all the way to the door of their home. When he saw the bear doormat chosen by Ye Sibei at the entrance, for some reason, he stopped in his tracks.

All his restlessness and anger suddenly subsided. He lowered his head to look at the two bears hugging each other. After a long time, he raised his head, took out the keys, and opened the door.

The door creaked open, and what greeted him was the smell of alcohol. Inside, everyone seemed to be asleep and completely unaware of his arrival. Qin Nan looked around, and the whole house was unrecognizable as his former home.

The messy dining table, scattered wine bottles everywhere, clothes strewn on the floor, the entire room looked like a garbage dump, chaotic and dirty.

Qin Nan stood at the door for a while, restraining all his emotions. He gently closed the door, walked into the room, like a ghost drifting in, and silently sat down on the sofa.

When the sunlight hit Ye Sibei’s face, she woke up groggily.

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“Let’s just sit for now,” Qin Nan replied, head down.

Upon hearing his response, Ye Sibei felt a bit awkward and sat down on the nearby sofa.

The atmosphere between them was tense. She watched Qin Nan continue to smoke with his head down.

This silence made her feel uneasy. She sensed that something had happened but was afraid to speak up. She kept glancing around to distract herself, but everywhere she looked, there were bottles of alcohol. This heightened her anxiety. She cautiously reached out her hand, “Let me tidy up first…”

“When did you start drinking?” Qin Nan suddenly asked in a hoarse voice, causing Ye Sibei to freeze. She forced a smile, “Just… recently.”

“And did you buy the cigarettes?” Qin Nan looked at the pack on the table, but Ye Sibei couldn’t respond.

“Ye Sibei,” Qin Nan looked up at her, “What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing,” Ye Sibei instinctively wanted to resist being questioned. For a moment, she felt a bit reckless and shrugged nonchalantly, “Work has been stressful lately, and I just wanted to relieve some pressure. I’m not doing anything serious. I’m an adult, and this isn’t illegal, right?”

Qin Nan remained silent, quietly observing her. Ye Sibei dared not meet his eyes, fearing disappointment or reproach.

She kept telling herself that since they were getting divorced, his disappointment or reproach didn’t matter.

For the first time, she felt a sense of relief about their impending divorce and even wanted to expedite the process.

“Are you here to get the divorce agreement? Or do you want to get certificate today?” Ye Sibei stood up, “Let me get it for you…”

“On the night of April 9th, Fan Jiancheng escorted you home. Where did you go after that?” 

Ye Sibei froze.

In an instant, her mind went blank.

She stood there motionless, listening to Qin Nan’s calm question from behind, “Was it the reed field outside Guantian Village?”

At the mention of the reed field, nauseating images flooded her mind. Ye Sibei’s breath quickened involuntarily, and she hurriedly moved forward, “Let me get the agreement for you.”

“Ye Sibei,” Qin Nan looked up at her, “at this point, what’s the point of hiding anything? Are you not tired of hiding it from me all this time?”

Ye Sibei didn’t say anything; she turned away from Qin Nan.

She wanted to deny it.

Just as Huang Guifen said, she had to keep it hidden.

But she couldn’t speak.

Since Qin Nan mentioned the reed field, she understood there was no more room for struggle.

“On April 9th, during your company’s dinner party, you got drunk, got into Fan Jiancheng’s car with Zhao Chuchu, Zhao Chuchu was taken home, and you were taken to the reed field in Guantian Village.”

“After you woke up, you called the police, then withdrew the report. Ye Sibei,” Qin Nan pressed, “who was it?”

Ye Sibei remained silent. After a while, she sat back down, smiled, and went to get a cigarette, holding it to calm herself.

“You know all this so clearly,” Ye Sibei said indifferently, “what’s there to say? Does it matter who it was? I’m not reporting it anyway.”

“Was it Fan Jiancheng?”

Qin Nan stared at her.

Ye Sibei took a deep drag from her cigarette, looked up at Qin Nan, wanting to continue with some light-hearted words, but seeing Qin Nan’s expression, she couldn’t bring herself to speak. The words tumbled on her lips, and finally, she spoke.

“I don’t know.”

She waved her hand dismissively, “I don’t remember.”

“That day was my fault,” she explained with a smile, “the company said to accompany a client, I didn’t even think to change clothes, just wore our company’s uniform. There was a senior executive at the banquet who liked to drink, he insisted I drink, and I thought I shouldn’t cause trouble for everyone, so I had six glasses. After finishing, my mom called about our divorce, we argued, I came out not knowing what happened, and had a few more drinks.”

Ye Sibei spoke, her emotions somewhat uncontrollable, but she didn’t dare let him notice. She lowered her head, pretending to be calm: “After drinking, Fan Ge sent me home. When I reached the door, I tried to go up by myself. I was really drunk, I don’t remember anything, maybe someone just picked up my body.”

She used a common, highly humiliating term found online, and it sounded harsh.

“The next day when I woke up, I was in the reed field. I didn’t look good at that time. I hid in the reeds and called the police, asking them to bring me a windbreaker.”

Qin Nan remained silent, his gaze unfocused, staring ahead blankly as he smoked.

“Why did you withdraw the case?”

“I just… figured it out.”

Ye Sibei’s voice was hoarse: “What benefits do I get from reporting it? Speaking up doesn’t solve my problem. It’s like kids fighting; if your left cheek gets hit by a classmate, there’s no need to go home and ask your parents to hit your right cheek, right?”

“One slap doesn’t make a noise; it’s just that I wasn’t cautious enough.”

Ye Sibei was self-reflective as usual, and Qin Nan listened, feeling like each word was cutting into his heart.

“It’s not a big deal anyway; I forgot about it.”

After thinking for a moment, Ye Sibei still whispered, “I’m sorry.”

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Since they met, this seemed to be the most frequent thing she said.

Always apologizing, always self-reflecting, always self-criticizing.

Even today—today when she was the victim, she was still telling him, sorry.

Qin Nan felt a bit ridiculous and sad.

He dared not speak, not even dare to look at her.

He restrained his emotions, finished his last cigarette, then turned around and finally asked the question he had always wanted to ask but never did—

“What did you do wrong?”

Hearing this, Ye Sibei looked up at him in bewilderment, as if she couldn’t understand what he was talking about at all.

Qin Nan stared at her blank expression, his voice trembling slightly: “Tell me, you’re just living your life normally, going to work, dressing up, working, coming home,” he struggled for a while before continuing, “What did you do wrong?”