Chapter 63: Fathomless

Yan He’s embrace was warm, his arms encircling her, her back against his solid chest, making her feel at peace.

After leaving Dufa Star, the lingering sensation of floating feet off the ground in her heart finally disappeared in this embrace.

Jiang Miao’s hand rested on Yan He’s arm, and after a moment of silence, she said, “I’m not unhappy, I’m just hesitant… I’ve become a mother, should I inform my mother, um, my caregiver?”

Yan He understood.

Jiang Miao rarely mentioned her caregiver, but every time she did, he could see a hint of melancholy in her eyes. He also knew she deeply respected that woman. Despite not contacting her for a long time, her concern for that woman had never diminished.

“Just say it, you’ve become a mother, she’ll be a grandmother,” Yan He said.

Grandmother… a long-lost term. After studying the family tree in elementary school, she hadn’t heard it mentioned again. Hearing it now, Jiang Miao felt strangely unfamiliar.

“What an ancient term,” she sighed.

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Zyd Tl tldvzu pvasjle bla byde, rywple, yde lmrzykdle, “Rd ydnkldv qyxkzu pvawnvwalp, y xsvbla’p xsvbla kp nyzzle y taydexsvbla.”

“R jdso,” Kkydt Ykys pyke, “cwv R byhld’v blyae vbyv osae pkdnl lzlxldvyau pnbssz. Rv’p kd ydnkldv eayxyp, cwv R’x dsv xwnb kdvs oyvnbkdt vblx.”

Mbspl ydnkldv eayxyp olal vss qyjl. Mbl oakvlap sq vbkp lay nswzed’v wdelapvyde bso nsxrzlm qyxkzu alzyvksdpbkrp olal kd ydnkldv Oyavb vkxlp. Kkydt Ykys snnypksdyzzu oyvnble vblx yde qlzv zkjl nshlakdt bla lulp.

“R fwpv esd’v jdso kq pbl oydvp xl vs csvbla bla,” Kkydt Ykys pktble.

“Tso zsdt byp kv clld pkdnl usw nsdvynvle bla?” Zyd Tl ypjle.

“Yydu ulyap,” Kkydt Ykys pyke, “pkdnl R clnyxl yd yewzv.”

“R byhl y pwrlaksa, yde bkp nbkze kp yzalyeu vbkavu ulyap sze, ulv vblu pvkzz jllr kd vswnb. Mbkp ulya, obld vbyv rlapsd bye y fsc vaydpqla, kv oyp pvkzz xu pwrlaksa obs alnsxxldele bkx,” Zyd Tl pyke.

“Zlyb, Mydyjy yzps jllrp kd vswnb okvb bkp nbkze,” Kkydt Ykys xwaxwale, “sdzu xl, sdzu pbl yde R.”

Jiang Miao’s desolation was so evident. Yan He was quite dissatisfied. “Does she have some kind of problem?”

Jiang Miao elbowed him. “Don’t talk nonsense.”

“She’s just… particularly rational. If you could meet her, you’d know. She’s a super rational woman. It shows in every aspect of her life, from planning major events throughout the year to the arrangement of colors and patterns of sofa cushions at home. You can see it everywhere,” Jiang Miao recalled, “She’s never impulsive or anxious about anything she does. She’s always calm, even in the face of sudden emergencies, she remains calm.”

Yan He sighed softly. “You really respect her.”

Jiang Miao was silent for a moment before saying, “She’s the person I want to become.”

Yan He asked, “Have you become that person now?”

Jiang Miao sighed, “It’s so hard.”

She turned over, her face upturned: “I can only achieve that when I’m working. When I’m working, I’m completely focused, with no distractions. I can fully immerse myself and not wander off in my thoughts, so I can achieve it.”

“But it’s so hard outside of work,” she looked up at the ceiling, “To be so calm in life, it’s too detached. I really can’t do it.”

Yan He thought of her vibrant appearance every morning, her bright eyes, her smiling face.

Sometimes energetic, sometimes dazed, sometimes nervous and prone to overthinking, sometimes cunning, but most of the time she was laughing. Her laughter filled every room, making the whole house bright and warm.

He sighed deeply and said, “It’s fortunate that you can’t do it.”

Jiang Miao smiled, then turned over to face him: “How often do you contact your caregiver in a year?”

Yan He thought for a moment, “Probably two to four times?”

“That’s relatively normal,” Jiang Miao said.

“Yes. It’s also because we were both on the front lines before, so we had a lot going on,” Yan He said. “Usually, it’s just during holidays, we exchange greetings, and before undertaking dangerous missions, we’ll get in touch.”

“Hey, I’m going on a mission. If I die, I’ll leave everything to you to handle. You know what to do,” Yan He said.

Even though he lowered his voice, Jiang Miao couldn’t help but laugh at his intentionally melodramatic tone.

She couldn’t resist asking, “What kind of things do you have to handle after someone dies?” As a single person with no children, Jiang Miao couldn’t think of what kind of affairs there would be.

“I’ll leave all my property to him,” Yan He said, “And also, I’ve stored my sperm in the military sperm bank.”

Jiang Miao blinked.

“Because I haven’t had children yet, I always feel like something is missing if I die like this. With my excellent genes, they should be passed on somehow,” Yan He squeezed her hand, “So I entrusted it to him, to find someone willing to pass on DNA with me, and allocate a portion of the inheritance as the child’s support fund. It’s all up to him.”

“But by then, you’ll be gone,” Jiang Miao exclaimed, “Would anyone be willing to have a child alone?”

“People are willing if the genetic score is high,” Yan He said, “And continuing the genes of deceased outstanding soldiers comes with a special point bonus, as well as cash subsidies.”

Sure enough, it’s another lure.

“In this country, having children relies entirely on incentives,” Jiang Miao sighed.

When she first arrived in this era, she marveled at and praised the various policies encouraging childbearing, thinking that the government really understood people’s hearts. If having children didn’t bring benefits, who would be willing to have them? Of course, incentives had to be provided for everyone to be willing.

But today, Jiang Rui was born.

She held him in her arms, feeling her whole body trembling. At that moment, who would still remember points, coefficients, subsidies, and rewards?

Jiang Rui was so small, his skin still wrinkled and reddish, but holding him carefully in her arms, a strong sense of satisfaction and happiness filled her heart.

At that moment, Jiang Miao thought, how could she have had this child just for subsidies and rewards?

How could she!

Yan He patted her gently to comfort her.

Jiang Miao nestled against him and said, “Tanaka contacts his child more frequently than you do. Hmph, he initially lied to me, saying it was only during holidays. Later, he let it slip, and I found out that he and his child would contact each other at least once a month. That’s more than ten times a year!”

Jiang Miao said this with sour envy and jealousy, like a lemon spirit possessing her.

She sighed again and said, “Actually… I don’t really want to disrupt her life. I’m on Capital Star, she’s on Dufa Star, and the journey by ship takes a month and a half each way. Our lives can’t intersect anymore.”

“I just hope we can keep in touch. To know that we’re both safe, both doing well. That’s all.”

“Even if we only contact once or twice a year, no, once, just knowing she’s still there gives me peace of mind. Unlike now… not knowing if she’s still on Dufa Star these years, if she’s moved, if she’s still working at the same company, if she’s still busy, if she’s in good health…”

“What I want is just that. I really can’t understand…” With someone to hold, someone to embrace, someone to cherish, Jiang Miao’s grievances from these years finally burst out, “Really, I was so obedient when I lived with her, never causing her trouble, excelling in my studies, never embarrassing her, and even earned her a high score. Why, why did she…”

Her voice choked up.

Why are people afraid of loneliness?

Because without an intimate relationship, there’s nowhere to pour out grievances.

Yan He didn’t say anything, just continued to gather her hair and gently kissed her forehead, cheeks, and eyes.

Until Jiang Miao took a few seconds to compose herself, he said, “Contact her tomorrow.”

“But…”

“Don’t worry too much. Isn’t the mainstream value of this society ‘everyone lives for themselves’? If that’s the case, why let your actions be influenced by her possible reaction? If you want to contact her, just do it. Whether she responds or not, isn’t that her business? You do what you want to do.”

Jiang Miao couldn’t help but bite her finger again.

“Go, back to your own room,” Yan He pushed her, “Don’t turn on the light here, it’s too bright. Don’t use light to stimulate the son at night, starting from birth, you have to make sure he distinguishes day and night to avoid his sleep schedule being reversed.”

No wonder he didn’t turn on the night light when feeding at night.

And that’s how Jiang Miao was driven back to her own bedroom by Yan He.

Her bedroom was lit with a soft night light. She sat on the edge of the bed, hesitating, then stood up and paced around the bedroom. In the end, she decided to listen to Yan He.

Saying this might seem like she was shifting the blame onto Yan He. Jiang Miao actually understood in her heart that she decided to listen to Yan He because she really, really wanted to contact Zhang Ya.

“Xiaona, open the album. I want photos taken today,” Jiang Miao jumped onto the bed and sat cross-legged.

The screen lit up, and today’s photos filled the entire screen.

Jiang Miao took half an hour, hesitated repeatedly, and finally selected a photo of her smiling while holding Rui Rui on the sofa. Because in this photo, she looked very happy and content, living a fulfilling life.

Who wouldn’t want to show their best self to others?

After thinking of thousands of words, she finally wrote only one sentence with the photo caption: “I’ve become a mother.”

Jiang Miao looked at it for a while, then finally clicked “send”, and collapsed straight down, covering her head!

Sleep! Sleep!

Regardless of Zhang Ya’s reaction, whether she replies or not, it can wait until tomorrow!

In Jiang Miao’s place on Capital Star, it was midnight, while in the area where Zhang Ya lived and worked on Dufa Star, it was close to noon.

It was time for lunch and nap, but Zhang Ya was still in the meeting room, reprimanding her subordinates.

“For three consecutive months, while the performance of other departments has been increasing, the business unit you manage has been declining. Thomas, I told you last month, this month is your last chance. Don’t give me explanations; I want to see results!”

Zhang Ya has always been an intellectual and elegant woman. Even in anger, she never loses her grace. But with a cold look in her eyes and speaking slightly faster than usual, it was clear to her subordinates that Ms. Zhang Ya, the newly promoted partner, was genuinely angry now.

“Three months ago, I asked you to reflect on where the problem lies, but what did your report say? Can you give me even one actionable item? Thomas, I don’t know how you used to be…”

As Zhang Ya was speaking, her wrist communicator buzzed. She casually activated a small screen and glanced at it.

Unexpectedly, her voice stopped abruptly at that glance.

“I’ve become a mother.”

From the contact person: Zhang Mary¹Jiang Miao.

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