Chapter 64: Zhang Ya

As Jiang Miao said to Yan He, Zhang Ya is someone who always remains calm.

Everyone saw Zhang Ya glance at the screen, her expression suddenly freezing. But it only froze for two seconds.

Zhang Ya turned off the screen and forcefully brought herself back to the present: “I don’t know how you managed to sit in this position before, but since I have been promoted to partner and the division you manage falls under my jurisdiction, don’t attempt to deceive me.”

She crossed her arms, leaned back against the chair’s backrest, and said coldly, “Before the end of today’s work, if I receive your resignation letter, I will still have HR provide you with a recommendation letter. That’s it, meeting adjourned.”

Thomas trailed behind others despondently. He had heard before that Zhang Ya was tough and ruthless, but he didn’t expect to be so unlucky. With the company restructuring, this woman was promoted to partner, and he fell into her hands.

His former boss, who used to cover for him so well, couldn’t help him anymore. After some thought, he decided to resign voluntarily. Otherwise, it would be embarrassing, and he wouldn’t even get a recommendation letter. It would affect his future job searches.

Looking back, the woman also left the meeting room, striding confidently toward her office. Even her walking pace exuded dominance.

Tsk.

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Gqvla y zsdt vkxl, Hbydt Zy vssj y vkppwl vs eau bla lulp, ekyzle y nsdvynv.

The screen for the call opened, and the face of Wayne Coso appeared on the screen.

“Hi, darling, what’s… hmm? What’s wrong with you?” Mr. Coso greeted with a smile, but suddenly saw Zhang Ya’s red eyes through the screen, looking very surprised.

If Jiang Miao heard this conversation, she might have bitten her tongue in surprise. When did Mr. Coso and Ms. Zhang Ya start addressing each other as “darling”?

They didn’t used to have this kind of relationship.

“Wayne, do you know about Mary?” Zhang Ya’s tone was calm. If it weren’t for her still reddened eyes giving her away, you wouldn’t have guessed she had just been emotionally shaken.

Mr. Coso said, “Um—”

With that “Um,” Zhang Ya understood: “So you already knew she became a mother.”

Mr. Coso could only tell the truth, “About six or seven hours ago, she posted a photo on social media. I was hesitant whether to tell you or not…”

Zhang Ya hadn’t been following Jiang Miao on social media.

Several years ago, she followed the advice of a therapist and completely cut off Jiang Miao’s information from her life.

On the other hand, Wayne Coso left Jiang Miao when she was three years old and returned to his own life. There wasn’t much involvement between him and Jiang Miao, not much contact. Previously, it was just the occasional holiday greetings, but in the past two years because of Zhang Ya, he secretly started following Jiang Miao’s social media again.

“How did you find out?” Wayne paused and asked, “Did she reach out to you?”

Zhang Ya lowered her eyes, “Yes.”

It had been eight years since that “goodbye,” and she hadn’t contacted that child since. But the child hadn’t forgotten her. In such a significant event in life, she still remembered to share it with her.

A sour feeling surged up again, Zhang Ya covered her eyes and turned away. Even though she had become Wayne Coso’s cohabiting partner, she didn’t want him to see her crying.

Her values ​​believed in prioritizing rationality. Crying itself was a sign of failure of managing oneself.

But this time, Zhang Ya had completely failed.

She covered her eyes, unable to force back that bitterness no matter what.

Mr. Coso was also somewhat at a loss. He knew how proud Zhang Ya was, and he didn’t know how to comfort her at this moment, or if it was better to remain silent.

“A total failure,” Zhang Ya suddenly said.

“Hmm?” Mr. Coso was puzzled.

Zhang Ya let go of her hands, smiled self-deprecatingly, “A total failure. I thought… I thought I had healed over these years. But, you know, at the first sight of her photo, I was a total failure.”

“It turns out it’s still there, it hasn’t been healed at all,” she chuckled bitterly, “My… attachment disorder.”

“If it’s really that upsetting, go ahead and contact her,” Mr. Coso said gently.

Back when he and Zhang Ya were matched together, they chose each other as parenting partners. Those years they spent living together were very happy. Zhang Ya was a woman greatly admired by Mr. Coso, and at that time, he had wanted to pursue her.

But Zhang Ya was also an extraordinarily calm and rational woman. She opposed the idea of two parenting partners becoming romantically involved because romantic relationships were more prone to conflicts than partnerships. So, Mr. Coso gave up on pursuing her.

Their collaboration in parenting was highly successful. When Mary entered kindergarten, her scores were significantly higher than those of her peers. She was also much more obedient and sensible than children her age.

Mr. Coso always felt that this was all thanks to Zhang Ya’s guidance for the child.

When Mary entered kindergarten, his role as an assistant was completed. After negotiating with Zhang Ya, he gradually withdrew from Mary’s life through a progressive process.

That period was actually quite difficult. He often couldn’t help but call to check on this little cutie.

But time eventually dulled everything, and besides, he had only lived with Mary for three years. Letting go of the child wasn’t that difficult for him. He eventually completely returned to his own life.

Later on, it was just regular contact with Mary and regularly paying the portion of child support he was responsible for as a biological father. The longer the time passed, the weaker the bond between him and Mary became.

If this was the situation with his own flesh and blood, with Zhang Ya, his short-lived parenting partner, they naturally grew more distant.

He hadn’t expected that after Mary entered middle school, Zhang Ya would actually reach out to him proactively.

Zhang Ya came to him for help.

For Zhang Ya, this was an awkward matter to bring up. Rather than letting her friends or colleagues know, she would rather seek help from Mr. Coso, who no longer had any contact but shared a child.

“I remember you said before that your work involves dealing with some professionals in the psychological field?” Once they met, Zhang Ya immediately explained her purpose, “If possible, please introduce me to a reliable psychologist.”

Wayne Coso was very surprised. In his mind, Zhang Ya was intelligent, calm, and mature. How could she need psychological counseling?

Zhang Ya was willing to speak to him, so she didn’t intend to hide anything from him.

“I might be experiencing symptoms of excessive attachment to Mary,” she confessed to him.

Mr. Coso was even more surprised.

The mainstream values ​​of the entire society believe that excessive attachment, whether from parents to children or from children to parents, is a sign of incomplete personality and immaturity.

Mr. Coso had read many articles about parenting before their cooperative parenting began. He had seen an article specifically discussing this aspect, which stated that during the ancient Earth era, in Eastern civilizations mainly centered in Asia, excessive attachment psychology was common. Extreme parents would even interfere in their children’s love lives and marriages.

The author of the article found many ancient documents proving that in the ancient East, many adult marriages were undermined by excessive parental involvement.

Even more extreme, some people were forced to commit suicide by their parents because they didn’t want to get married. These cases were mostly women, at least among the cases mentioned in the ancient documents the author could find, they were all women.

In contrast to parental interference or control over children, excessive attachment from children to parents manifested in two forms: economic dependence and emotional dependence. According to the author’s research on ancient documents, these two had corresponding terms in ancient times, the former being called “sponging off parents” and the latter being called “mama’s boy.”

But all these aspects combined, they all share one common point, which is that the individuals involved have incomplete personalities and are not independent. Parents focus too much on their children in life; children cannot live independently when separated from their parents.

Compared to the values of independence and self-reliance pursued by today’s society, it is indeed outdated, ignorant, and laughable.

At that time, Mr. Coso could understand why Zhang Ya would forsake her colleagues and friends to seek help from him, a former parenting partner she hadn’t contacted for a long time—developing symptoms of excessive attachment to her own child was something deeply embarrassing for her.

Mr. Coso arranged a very reliable doctor for Zhang Ya. He even carefully didn’t directly arrange for his own doctor friend, but asked another friend to arrange a doctor whom he didn’t know—this gave Zhang Ya a stronger sense of security. No one wants to constantly suspect and feel uneasy that their therapist might disclose their situation to mutual friends.

Mr. Coso’s thoughtfulness earned Zhang Ya’s gratitude and admiration.

From that moment on, the two had more interactions.

Mr. Coso subtly noticed that Zhang Ya reached out to him not just because she needed a therapist. Even without him, she could find a good therapist on her own.

Beyond the doctor, Zhang Ya needed a friend who knew about this and could provide her with emotional support.

Mr. Coso didn’t mind being that person.

Zhang Ya was a beautiful and mature woman. If she hadn’t been so clear and firm in her rejection, he probably would have put in more effort to pursue her.

Indeed, he took advantage of this opportunity to pursue Zhang Ya again. But when Mary was still living with Zhang Ya, she made it clear that she wouldn’t be with him, at least not until Mary left.

“Dr. Natsume suggested that I shouldn’t give up custody of Mary,” Zhang Ya told him at the time.

Zhang Ya always believed that the root of her psychological issues lay with Jiang Miao, her decision to leave Jiang Miao’s side.

“Oh? Why?” Mr. Coso actually thought that leaving Jiang Miao would be a good solution for Zhang Ya’s problems. He didn’t understand why the doctor would advise against it.

“Because Dr. Natsume said that remorse is harder to cure than other psychological disorders,” Zhang Ya said.

Dr. Natsume told her that many custodial parents regretted their impulsive decision to give up custody, but unfortunately, the government refused to give them a second chance. Once custody is transferred to the government, it’s gone for good.

To make matters worse, the government, in the name of protecting minors, prohibits custodial parents who have relinquished custody from contacting their children again until they reach adulthood.

Mr. Coso couldn’t help but ask Zhang Ya, “Would you regret it if you gave up?”

At that moment, Zhang Ya was quite bewildered. In her usually calm and reserved eyes, there was only confusion that she couldn’t answer within herself.

Mr. Coso, who always admired her rationality and maturity the most, couldn’t understand why this moment of confusion and helplessness made Zhang Ya more attractive to him than any other time before.

After a while, Zhang Ya admitted, “There’s a high probability that I would.”

Mr. Coso, with great interest, pursued, “How did it all start, exactly? I remember back then, when the two of us were raising her together, you were doing great.”

Zhang Ya was textbook-level as a caregiver, strictly following the parenting guidelines. She never spoiled the child, nor did she abuse her.

Sometimes, when they took Mary to participate in some parent-child activities, they would see other children crying or acting out, but Mary never did. By comparison, Zhang Ya clearly looked down on parents who couldn’t strictly follow the parenting guidelines.

It was because of this that Mr. Coso had never thought that Zhang Ya, such a rational person, would develop symptoms of excessive attachment.

“That was after you left…” Zhang Ya recalled, the confusion disappearing from her eyes, replaced by a faint smile at the corners of her mouth.

Those beautiful memories were still vivid at this moment, flooding the heart with feelings of joy, happiness, and contentment.

Back then, Jiang Miao was still in kindergarten, and Zhang Ya had not yet achieved her current success; she was just a middle manager on the rise. One day, she had an important meeting with the big boss, and the meeting kept dragging on, and she watched helplessly as the time passed the time when kindergarten would let out.

When the meeting finally ended, Zhang Ya hurried to the kindergarten.

She had been late before. She had seen other children cry or even throw tantrums because their caregivers were late. Jiang Miao never did.

But that day, she really was too late, and on the way, she couldn’t help but worry: would Mary cry?

For Zhang Ya, crying was a sign of losing self-control. But she thought, this time it was indeed her fault. If Mary cried because she was upset, she could forgive her this time.

There was no one left in the kindergarten; all the teachers had gone home. With all the other classrooms dark, the only one with lights on stood out.

Zhang Ya hurried over and burst into the classroom.

The classroom was clean and empty.

The little girl was making herself a comfortable nest with the soft dolls in the doll corner, surrounded by nurturing and security robots, quietly reading a book.

Hearing the door, she looked up and saw Zhang Ya.

At that moment, Zhang Ya saw a brilliant smile light up the round face like an apple.

The little Mary threw the book aside, opened her chubby little arms, and ran towards her, shouting, “Mom! You’re here!”

She rushed into her arms, and at that moment, Zhang Ya felt a surge of emotion in her life for the first time.

“At that time, I didn’t realize what kind of changes were happening inside me. I just felt like she was a lovely angel,” Zhang Ya told Mr. Coso. “Back then, I didn’t have any thoughts about what was driving me to have a child—no points, coefficients, or life experiences. I didn’t think about anything; I just squatted down, held her in my arms, and wondered why she wasn’t crying. If she had cried in my arms, I wouldn’t have blamed her.”

“But she didn’t, did she?” Mr. Coso chuckled. “In my memory, except for that one time when she accidentally fell and scraped a large area of skin on her leg, causing some bleeding, she never cried because of anything other than pain.”

“Yeah, she rarely cried,” Zhang Ya said. “I arrived so late that only she and the robots were left in the entire kindergarten. She didn’t cry, but I almost did. I don’t know why, but I felt so guilty. The next day, I bought her a ‘Sweet Starry Sky’ cake. But it wasn’t Wednesday.”

“Oh!” Mr. Coso remembered the past very clearly. “You only allowed her to have an extra dessert once a week.”

“Yes, to protect her teeth.”

“And to prevent her from feeling like she could indulge on weekends, you scheduled her dessert day for Wednesday,” Mr. Coso said. “I remember that too.”

So Zhang Ya allowed Jiang Miao to have dessert on a non-dessert day. For Mr. Coso’s understanding of Zhang Ya, this was a breach of her principles.

It was astonishing.

“Yes, my rationality was completely overridden by emotional impulses at that time,” Zhang Ya sighed. “And even then, I didn’t feel regret. Because when she opened the box and saw her favorite cake, the surprise on her face was truly… indescribable. What’s even more incredible is that the surprise even infected me through the air.”

“So that’s when you realized you were experiencing symptoms of excessive attachment?” Mr. Coso guessed.

“Yes. Later on, as these emotional moments began to outweigh rationality more and more, I finally became aware of it,” Zhang Ya admitted.

Mr. Coso’s curiosity was piqued, and he couldn’t help but ask, “I hope I’m not offending you by asking.”

Seeing Zhang Ya nod, he asked cautiously, “Although you can now objectively distinguish these situations, what about at the time? I mean, like when you allowed Mary to have dessert on a non-dessert day, did you actually not feel it was wrong, or bad, or dislike it?”

Influenced by mainstream values and having no personal experience, Mr. Coso was probably like many others.

Zhang Ya wasn’t angry either. It’s difficult to understand these things if they haven’t happened to you.

“Yes, not only did I not think it was wrong, but I even felt addicted,” she explained. “In those moments, there was often a sense of pleasure and happiness. Even though what I was doing was indulging against my principles, I felt happy.”

Mr. Coso pondered with his chin in his hand for a long time, unable to figure it out. “This is a paradox. ‘Doing things that make oneself happy’ is what we should be doing. But why does it become wrong or pathological when it comes to this matter?”

This question, of course, Zhang Ya, trapped in excessive attachment syndrome, couldn’t answer.

“All right, even if it’s wrong or pathological, but since it makes you happy, why can’t you continue?” Mr. Coso couldn’t help but say again.

“No.” Zhang Ya vetoed decisively.

She sighed bitterly, “You don’t know, Mary respects me a lot. She… she strives to be like me. She’s actually a carefree and lively girl, but she always quietly imitates my words and actions. She has said more than once that she wants to be a woman like me.”

“Coso, I can’t bear her disappointment in me,” Zhang Ya said. “I can’t let this child one day discover that Zhang Ya is actually someone who excessively attaches to her own child, whose personality is incomplete, and who has psychological problems.”

“I, can’t bear it.”

At the end of the conversation, Mr. Coso asked her, “What about Mary’s custody?”

Zhang Ya nodded, “I will follow the doctor’s advice and insist on raising her until she goes to university. Dr. Natsume said that completing the parenting task perfectly is a step towards self-improvement, allowing oneself to face oneself with a clear conscience and no regrets, making it difficult for those pathological psychological issues to take advantage of.”

Mr. Coso hadn’t contacted Jiang Miao for a long time and wasn’t very familiar with her current situation, subconsciously asking, “How long until she goes to university?”

“Not long,” Zhang Ya said, “You left her too early. You don’t know how smart and hardworking of a child she is. You don’t know how outstanding she is!”

So you must not know that when you mention this child, your face lights up, your eyes are full of pride, Mr. Coso maintained a smile, silently thinking.

After this usual gathering with Mr. Coso, Zhang Ya returned home, and it was already late.

When she entered the house, Jiang Miao, still called Zhang Mary at the time, heard the AI prompt and walked from her room to the living room to greet her.

“You’re back?” She smiled sweetly. “It’s a bit late today, isn’t it? Did you have a date? What kind of man is he?”

Clearly, she had a lively disposition, but when she spoke, she had to suppress her own nature and try to imitate Zhang Ya’s calm and intellect.

The more she did this, the more Zhang Ya couldn’t face her.

Moreover, she asked about the date. In fact, Zhang Ya went to meet her biological father, Wayne Coso, and talked about Zhang Ya’s mental illness. There was nothing Zhang Ya could or wanted to share with her.

Zhang Ya stiffened her face, trying not to reveal any emotion and said lightly, “It’s not convenient to discuss these matters with you. It’s late, you should go to bed.”

After she finished speaking, rather than saying she walked back to her own bedroom, it was more like she dared not face Jiang Miao and fled back to her bedroom.

And at that time, Jiang Miao, still called Zhang Mary, hung her head sadly.

She disturbed her life, she thought. Clearly, when she was a child, she would bring her dates home, but as she gradually grew up into a teenager, Zhang Ya rarely did so.

Her existence disturbed Zhang Ya’s private life as an adult woman.

Jiang Miao returned to her room dejectedly, activated the study machine that had already been turned off, and decided to do another set of data simulation calculations.

After all, she wasn’t a real teenager. As a time traveler, she felt very guilty about the impact she had on Zhang Ya’s life and Zhang Mary’s existence. The only thing she could do was to study hard, strive to go to university as soon as possible, and return Zhang Ya’s life to her.

Zhang Ya and Jiang Miao, two women who had lived together for more than ten years, silently endured their own share of sadness behind a wall.

Later, Jiang Miao passed the entrance exam for a well-known university on Capital Ring Satellite 2 when she was fifteen years old.

Zhang Ya notified Mr. Coso of this news. He was on a business trip to another planet at the time and couldn’t make it back, so he generously bought Jiang Miao a first-class ticket.

Following the doctor’s advice, Zhang Ya insisted on raising Jiang Miao until she went to university, and she did so with a clear conscience about raising her. As the doctor said, her heart felt much firmer.

So she also followed the doctor’s advice and almost packed up all of Jiang Miao’s commonly used belongings and sent them to the capital. She disposed of those that didn’t need to be taken away.

As requested by the doctor, she tried her best to erase the influence of this child on herself from her life.

She shared all of these things with Mr. Coso.

When Mr. Coso returned from his business trip, he specially went to visit her.

He thought he would see Zhang Ya, who had revived her spirits and found her way back to her life. Unexpectedly, what greeted him was Zhang Ya, who would bury her head in his shoulder and sob.

The suppressed emotions were distressing.

Mr. Coso held Zhang Ya in his arms and couldn’t help but kiss her.

That day, he stayed there overnight, and afterward, they were together.

All of these, Jiang Miao didn’t know at all. Even when she said “goodbye” at the age of eighteen in the phone call she had with both of them, in fact, they were both in Zhang Ya’s house, just in different rooms.

Zhang Ya had renovated the house, so Jiang Miao didn’t notice from the video. She didn’t know that when she was on the phone with someone, the other person was eavesdropping on the other side of the screen.

So when she said “goodbye”, Zhang Ya heard it twice.

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Sansukini: The parents are kinda sweet. Jiang Miao may have been misunderstood here and caused her mom some guilt. She’s not really a child so it’s normal for her to be more mature than other children, and it’s okay to be attached to your child, it’s not really a deterrent to the child’s independence. Her attachment disorder, I call it love for her child.

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