Chapter 22

Lin Xigu caught his breath and closed the distance between them, his heart still weighted with everything the girl had said.

He had sprinted too fast. Before he could get any words out, he stopped to cough.

She Xiao patted his back lightly.

Lin Xigu’s nose smarted at the kindness in She Xiao’s eyes. See how gentle he is? Why do you all despise him so much?

“I just spotted you,” Lin Xigu said, managing a smile. “What are you doing here? What have you been up to?”

She Xiao looked away. Lin Xigu didn’t know why he looked self-conscious all of a sudden.

He didn’t investigate further as he continued. “Li Balei was celebrating her birthday today so I was just at the restaurant over there. To see you outside of school like this, I… well, I’m just happy to see you.”

She Xiao maintained his silence. His eyes darted to him but his head was still resolutely turned in the other direction.

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Nkd Dktw oyp ycswv vs pyu psxlvbkdt lzpl obld bkp rbsdl aydt.

Tl bye nyzzle bkp eye lyazkla cwv bye bwdt wr clqsal vbl nyzz nsddlnvle. Tl ydpolale dso. “Tlu, Jy?”

”Zsw nyzzle? Eydv xl vs rknj usw wr?”

”Ls,” Nkd Dktw tzydnle yv vbl csu kd qasdv sq bkx. “R fwpv oydvle vs zlv usw jdso R’zz cl y ckv zyvl nsxkdt bsxl.”

”Xjyu, byhl qwd. Rq usw dlle y akel zyvla, fwpv tkhl xl y nyzz. R’zz nsxl rknj usw wr.” 

“Ls dlle, R’zz tlv y nyc. Jul qsa dso, Jy.”

Nkd Dktw pvsole bkp rbsdl yoyu. Fbl Dkys bye vwadle vs qynl bkx psxlvkxl ewakdt bkp rbsdl nsdhlapyvksd. Nkd Dktw’p lulp pbsdl caktbvzu yp bl ypjle, “Eblal yal usw blyele dso? Qskdt bsxl?”

Fbl Dkys dseele. “Yd.”

“Then I’ll walk with you!” Lin Xigu stepped forward and extended his hand, intending to pull She Xiao closer. His fingers were centimetres away from She Xiao’s arm when he stopped himself short, remembering that he wasn’t supposed to touch She Xiao without warning. He laughed sheepishly. “Almost forgot.”

She Xiao c*cked an eyebrow and looked at Lin Xigu’s outstretched hand.

A couple of seconds later, he lifted his arm slightly, pressing his arm into Lin Xigu’s open palm. 

Temperatures were freezing in the dead of winter. She Xiao was wearing a short puffer jacket with jogger pants. The coolness of his jacket’s outer fabric passed through his palm and took root in his heart.

Lin Xigu suddenly remembered what it had felt like when She Xiao grabbed his hand.

And the untellable aftermath.

Lin Xigu tightened his grip on She Xiao’s arm as they walked on together. He mimicked what She Xiao had done last time, sliding his hand slowly down his arm until he reached his wrist. He didn’t go any further than that; She Xiao only did so to show him where his finger was broken, but he had no valid reason. He couldn’t just casually hold She Xiao’s hand.

As they walked, Lin Xigu kept his hold on She Xiao’s wrist and did not once let go. 

They had to cross a whole district to get back from where they were, which was quite far. Most people would have taken a taxi, but Lin Xigu couldn’t bear to shorten their time together.

The two of them continued their walk home. Lin Xigu glanced down at She Xiao’s joggers. His legs were so long… They didn’t stand out when he was wearing his uniform, but he looked especially good in those pants and his jacket. He wondered if She Xiao would ever be scouted and primed for future stardom. 

He would have too many romantic rivals. He was nervous just thinking about it. 

She Xiao shifted and pulled his arm away from Lin Xigu’s grasp. His hand was suddenly left empty, clutching air. 

“It’s cold,” She Xiao said. “Should put them away.”

Lin Xigu blinked. “Yup, you’re right! It’s pretty cold. You should keep your hands in your pockets.”

She Xiao looked at Lin Xigu’s reddened hands and said, “I’m not cold.”

He isn’t cold? If not him, then who? Lin Xigu followed She Xiao’s gaze downward and felt his heart swell with emotion. He clenched his hands and stuffed them in his pockets. Admittedly, his fingers were frozen stiff.

Although it was regrettable that he wasn’t able to continue holding She Xiao’s wrist, his heart was warm.

Children of this age were a bit daft. They were willing to walk for an hour or more in the biting cold because of some indescribable feeling in their chest. But their determination was also commendable — If I like you, I like you. And they were willing to be as foolish as necessary to honour that feeling in their hearts. 

Lin Xigu had never felt that way before about anyone, had never spent his days and nights consumed by thoughts of one person. He had once seen a clickbait article that he had skimmed through with a disdainful laugh.

The headline proclaimed “The greatest emotion life has to offer is to be seventeen and in love.”

Because of its purity, its passion, and the willingness to risk it all. 

The article itself was written in the corny inspo style commonly found online, and even now, Lin Xigu did not find it particularly profound. However, he could all of a sudden relate. The kind of love you experience at seventeen must surely be the best.

At this age, they were still immature. Although they knew a little about how things worked, they were still naive, their minds not yet filled with clutter. They were pure. They were not afraid to love.

The sun had set completely by the time She Xiao walked him to his door. Lin Xigu sniffed, “It’s freezing. Drink some hot soup when you get back.”

“Mn,” She Xiao said quietly.

“I’ll head up then?” Lin Xigu waved at him. “Hurry home.”

She Xiao nodded and walked away. 

---

Lin Xigu was steaming when he finally walked through the door. His dad was right there, asking, “What did you get up to today?” 

Lin Xigu smiled. “We just had dinner, then I bumped into a friend. We walked back together.”

“You walked?” Lin Qiurong asked incredulously. “From the place I dropped you off at?”

“Pretty much.” Lin Xigu took off his jacket, feeling like he had turned into an ice cube. 

“That’s quite a walk. Couldn’t get a cab?” His dad laughed, amused at his son’s lack of common sense. “You should have called me. Wouldn’t it have been better if I picked you up?” 

“No, I just felt like walking.” Lin Xigu stripped off his clothes and darted into the bathroom.

Showering turned out to be an arduous process. His body was so cold that even the lukewarm spray felt scalding hot. It took him 20 minutes just to adjust to the temperature of the water.

His dad was nearly asleep by the time he finished.

Lin Xigu put on his pajamas and climbed into bed, a chilly breeze still seeping out from between his bones. He wrapped himself tightly in the duvet, wondering how She Xiao was doing at home. He mustn’t catch a cold.

But if She Xiao did catch a cold, his nose and eyes would turn red… Lin Xigu would have liked to see that.

---

Lin Xigu’s dad left on Sunday afternoon. He could have stayed for two more days, but something urgent had come up, so he packed quickly and left in a hurry.

Lin Xigu had She Xiao on his mind and wasn’t too distraught, but he was nonetheless reluctant to see him go.

He was used to it by now. It was nothing.

Lin Xigu went downstairs to see his dad off and he ran into Xie Yang in front of the elevator on his way back. He greeted him, and Xie Yang smiled back.

“Was that your dad?” He asked.

Lin Xigu nodded. “He was here for my parent-teacher conference on Friday.”

“You look like him, you know. Handsome.” As the doors opened, the two of them stepped inside. “Don’t you ever miss home, living alone all the time?”

Lin Xigu thought for a moment. “I’m doing okay. I’ll go stay with him as soon as winter break starts.”

They were on good terms and would stop to chat every time they ran into each other. Lin Xigu asked him, “I’ve never seen your family around either. Do you live by yourself too?”

Xie Yang hesitated, then nodded. “Ah, yeah, I do live alone.”

“I used to think you lived with your family. I thought you were borrowing chairs for some kind of family gathering last time.”  Lin Xigu chuckled and said.

”No, those were all just my friends.” The elevator stopped on Lin Xigu’s floor and Xie Yang waved goodbye.

Lin Xigu was bored when he got home so he put in an hour on the treadmill.

He needed to get stronger. He didn’t want to be deadweight the next time She Xiao got into a fight.

---

Monday morning, Lin Xigu walked downstairs bright and early. Judging by the time, he would have normally had to wait ten minutes or so until She Xiao appeared, but he was shocked to find She Xiao already standing outside the compound gates.

She Xiao blinked when he saw him coming. 

“She Xiao? How come you’re here so early?” Lin Xigu walked over, checking his watch to make sure he hadn’t misread the time. 

She Xiao’s answer came slowly. “From now on… I’ll wait for you.”

Lin Xigu was completely caught off-guard, his heart fluttering into overdrive. Who else could launch such a brazen assault on his heart so early in the morning? What should he do if he started blushing? There was nowhere for him to hide.

He cleared his throat and shook his head. “No, no, you don’t have to do that. You just show up at the normal time. I’ll wait for you. You don’t have to come this early.” 

She Xiao didn’t say anything else.

Lin Xigu was steeped in bliss the rest of the way to school, feeling as though he were walking on air. He felt thankful for every day that he was able to see She Xiao. His heart was satiated. 

“Is your hand still hurting?” Lin Xigu asked.

She Xiao shook his head. “No.”

“Your checkup’s next weekend?” Lin Xigu looked at She Xiao’s left hand with the splint still on his ring finger. “And then you’ll be able to take that off?”

“Yes.” She Xiao’s fingers twitched and he stuffed them in his pocket.

As they came up to the classroom door, they ran into Li Balei. Lin Xigu waved at her and she sauntered over. “What do you want?”

Lin Xigu grinned. “You’re mad, aren’t you? I’m sorry. I will definitely make it up to you.”

“Not at all,” Li Balei shrugged. “Please, with the kind of relationship we have? You told her off good. It was well-deserved. She moved out of our neighbourhood a long time ago and we never liked her anyway. She’s always been a cow.”

As Li Balei spoke, she glanced in She Xiao’s direction. She Xiao had already walked halfway across the room and was nearly at his seat. She bumped Lin Xigu’s shoulder and asked quietly, “When did you two get so close?”

Lin Xigu didn’t know what to say. “You’re snooping again.”

“I’m not snooping; I’m asking as your friend because I care.” Li Balei winked at Lin Xigu. “You were so cool yesterday though? You’re usually so tame, but who knew you would have such an aggressive side when you lose your temper? It’s a shame you’re both guys so there’s nothing juicy for me to sink my teeth into.”

Lin Xigu was deeply offended by her last comment. Why should that mean there’d be nothing juicy?

But he was nonetheless relieved that Li Balei wasn’t holding his reaction against him. After all, he had caused a scene in front of all of her guests. This was also one of the reasons why Lin Xigu saw her as a close friend. She had a great personality that was different from most girls her age.

Lin Xigu clapped her on the shoulder. ‘I thought you’d be upset.”

“Tch, does that sound like me?” Li Balei glowered at him. “It was barely a thing.”

Lin Xigu chatted with her a while longer before returning to his seat. She Xiao looked at him, and Lin Xigu asked quietly, “What’s wrong?”

She Xiao didn’t speak. He didn’t look pleased, and he even faintly furrowed his brow.