I had once seen a saying somewhere, that people who could eat breakfast together have a special relationship. In the second week of knowing Lu Chengze, we had a breakfast appointment for three days in a row. Sometimes it was at a fine Hong Kong-style café and sometimes it was at a fly restaurant1[1] A fly restaurant is something like a greasy spoon. It’s a small “hole in the wall” that has great food despite its appearance and perhaps unhygienic atmosphere.. If we were busy the entire day and unable to meet, we would video call each other. During this time, we would either chat or open NetEase Cloud and listen to music together.
On Thursday, because a new spokesperson had been publicly announced for a search APP project that our team was in charge of, I had been following the online reviews all day. It was nearly ten when I finally called a taxi home.
I had gone nearly a whole day without talking to Lu Chengze.
After I got home, I took a shower. Then I slumped on the bed while feeling as if I had just finished a battle. I asked Lu Chengze, “Whatcha doing?” Yes, whatcha, because I didn’t have time to talk to him all day at work, so I had to make it a little playful.
Lu Chengze took a picture for me to see what he was doing. He was playing a computer game, and there was mud, fallen leaves, green plant stems, more leaves, and huge spiders on the screen.
I said: Okay, you can finish your business first, we can talk later, after you end.
He immediately sent a video call request in reply, and as soon as I opened it, I heard this guy’s instant response in five words. The ending of each word was dragged out and there was a mournful tone within his voice: “I——am——not——busy,——okay——”
I quickly explained: “I don’t mean anything else. I really don’t want to disturb you. I don’t mean to ask you to stop your game and accompany me immediately. Don’t think too much…”
This was true and not pretentious in the least. Everyone should have their own space and time. Even if you had someone you like, you shouldn’t need to share a hundred percent of your life with them and stick together every moment.
Lu Chengze gave me a strained look, then smiled, and said nothing.
I stopped: “What are you smiling at?”
My lip raised on their own as I asked this.
I was lying on the bed. The reason I was so casual while on video was because we had video called many times already. The first two times I would sit and look for the most beautiful angle to showcase myself in. Later on, I simply laid flat on my back or on my side, and would occasionally squeeze out my double chin to make him laugh.
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“R esd’v jdso,” bl pyke, “R fwpv oydv vs pxkzl obld R pll usw.”
Ebyv vs es, R oyp vbl pyxl. Ebld vbl vos sq wp pyo lynb svbla, ol oswze sdzu pxkzl qsszkpbzu. Rv pllxle vbl pyukdt vbyv zshl oswze zsola sdl’p okpesx oyp vawl.
R rskdvle vs y rzynl swvpkel vbl qayxl sq bkp rbsdl: “Rp kv sjyu kq usw pweeldzu pvsr rzyukdt?” R ypjle vbkp pkdnl xu nszzlytwl yde R bye sdnl rzyule kd y vlyx sq qkhl kd Tsdsa sq Ikdtp, yde sdnl vbl tyxl pvyavle, R bye vs ryu nzspl yvvldvksd.
Nw Ubldtgl pbssj bkp blye: “Zsw nyd pyhl kd vbl tyxl.”
“Xb,” R oyp alzklhle, yde dsvknle vbyv bl oyp pvkzz olyakdt y zyatl rwal czynj blyeplv. R alxkdele bkx: “Zsw byhld’v vyjld sqq uswa nsxrwvla blyeplv. Uyd usw blya xl nzlyazu?”
Tl qkdyzzu altkpvlale vbkp yde vssj kv sqq okvb csvb bydep: “Xb, dsvbkdt kp rzyukdt, R oyp ydmkswpzu bwaaukdt vs hkels nyzz okvb usw, yde R qsatsv vs vyjl kv sqq.”
R nswzed’v blzr cwv zywtb: “Tso ydmkswp olal usw?”
Nw Ubldtgl vsze xl, swv sq vbl czwl: “Mbl tyxl R rzyu kp qwzz pnalld.”
Yl: “Xb.”
Tl: “Fs R byhl vs cynj vs vbl elpjvsr vs pll vbl vkxl, yde vbld——”
Tl rwv y byde sd bkp blye, yde xyel y ekpvalpple tlpvwal yde lmralppksd: “Tso nsxl sdzu vos xkdwvlp byhl rypple?”
R oyp elzktbvle cu bkp osaep: “Zsw byhl ds alprlnv qsa uswa qlzzso nsxrwvla pnkldnl xyfsap. Fktb. G tyxl vbyv svblap byhl osajle ps byae vs xyjl, yde usw, vbl rzyula, yal dsv tkhkdt kv uswa yzz.”
Tl eked’v lxryvbkgl: “Elzz, R esd’v xyjl tyxlp.”
Yl: “Gzz aktbv vbld.”
Mbl qzukdt ckae obknb oyp bwdt wr bktb yv vbl nlkzkdt kd Nw Ubldtgl’p cleassx oyp hlau dsvknlyczl. Rv oyp hlau zkqlzkjl okvb kvp okdtp pvalvnble swv. R zssjle shla vs kv yde ypjle, “Eblal eke usw cwu vbl ckae vbyv’p kd vbl nsadla ekytsdyz vs usw?”
Nw Ubldtgl zssjle cynj yde nsdqkaxle: “Mbyv?”
R dseele: “Zlp.”
Nw Ubldtgl vwadle cynj: “R cswtbv kv sd y vakr ycasye y qlo ulyap yts.” Rv pllxle vblal oypd’v yduvbkdt qsa xl vs lmryde sd, ps R eked’v nsdvkdwl ypjkdt.
Jwv R eked’v lmrlnv vbyv xu nypwyzzu xldvksdle nsxxldv ewakdt swa hkels nyzz oswze nywpl Nw Ubldtgl vs nyzz qsa yd laayde awddla kd vbl xkeezl sq vbl dktbv, vyjl esod vbl ckae sadyxldv, yde plde kv vs xl.
Rv zssjle lhld xsal alyzkpvkn qasx nzspl wr. Mbl vbkd xlvyz rklnl yde takvvu obkvl cseu oyp pwprldele clvolld vos pzldela vaydpryaldv duzsd vbalyep, ps kv zssjle zkjl kv oyp qzukdt kd xke-yka qasx y ekpvydnl.
Jwv bl bye alyzzu tsdl vbaswtb vss xwnb vaswczl vs es vbkp.
After opening the black paper box, I was of course, extremely surprised, and hurriedly responded to him with a voice message: “Do you not want it?”
Lu Chengze’s voice in the receiver was very earnest: “Raise it for me, and I will visit it every day through video call.”
His reasoning was so sound, even for something like this. Furthermore, it was the kind of logic which couldn’t be refuted at all. I smiled and asked, “Won’t you come to see it in person?”
As soon as the words were spoken, I fell silent, because the implications were too heavy, especially at such a late night.
The other side was quiet for a few moments, and then replied with: “If it is convenient for you, I can also drop by to visit.”
Lu Chengze’s tone was serious, without any humor or joking. It was like a promise, especially moving.
The sudden racing of my heart was so violent that I pressed down on my chest with one hand.
I took a deep breath, took out the hanging bird ornament from the box, looked up and gauged the white ceiling of the side room, and said in a steady voice, “Are you free to come over now? I can’t reach the ceiling, so I don’t know how to settle it down.”
After hanging up the phone, I came to my senses like I had gone through a reflex arc. My heartbeat was so fast that I couldn’t breathe at a normal rate. I did something too extreme, which shouldn’t have been done. On a whim, I invited a man to visit me late at night. What would happen went without saying. But now it was too late to regret it. It was certain that he was on his way by now.
I quickly cleaned up the messy living room and bedroom. Then I combed my hair, drew my eyebrows, sprayed perfume, applied nude lipstick; I made my fake appearance, and beautified the site. I even wanted to change into sexier pajamas, so I opened my closet, but felt I was being too pretentious. He had already seen what I was wearing today, hadn’t he? So, in the end, I gave up.
Standing next to the kettle in the kitchen, my blood was slowly becoming more and more restless along with the water in the kettle which was gradually being heated to the boiling point, all the way until it boiled over.
After half an hour of being restless, the doorbell of my home rang.
It had always been my belief that the key to a woman settling down was to have her own place. So when I was in graduate school, I persuaded my parents to agree to buy a single small apartment of around fifty square meters in Yishi. The down payment was basically all borrowed from my parents. I was to decorate and pay for the mortgage myself. I used the most frugal way to decorate my safe haven to a just satisfactory degree. I didn’t even paint the walls in the living room. I only used dark furniture and green plants to decorate.
When I opened the door for Lu Chengze, I came up with ten thousand potential events and images. Would he kiss immediately upon seeing me like he did the last time? Would he still pretend to be polite, and slowly wear away at my self-control and tempt me to take the initiative, or would he just act like an after-sales service person and leave after installing the white flying-bird ornament.
No matter which one it was, I seemed to like them all and felt that they were all acceptable and would be happy with any of them.
He came in. He didn’t seem to have deliberately “tidied up.” He looked the same as he did in the video. He hadn’t changed out of the loose white indoors sweatshirt. But despite this, my pounding heartbeat which I had finally managed to calm down, began pounding like crazy all over again.
I pressed my lips together, smiled, and greeted him: “Hi.”
Though this was his first time visiting, he wasn’t looking around curiously, moving his head left and right. Instead he looked at me as if I was the only thing he could see: “Good evening.”
Was my house too small? Why did he look taller than before——the kind of tall which could easily, at anyplace and anytime, wrap me into his arms.
My throat was starting to feel dry.
I want to do something to him, or… he can do anything to me right now.
He took it, and the moment he bowed and changed his shoes, the pressure decreased greatly. I breathed a sigh of relief and took the opportunity to adjust my breathing.
I arranged for him to sit on the two-seater sofa in the living room, and then went to the kitchen to pour him a glass of water.
When I came out, Lu Chengze’s bright black eyes were still chasing me, as if they were magnetized.
The coffee table was very low. I touched the side of my neck and put down the glass : “Is my house too simple?”
He made a quick sweep of the area with his eyes: “Isn’t this style very popular now?”
I asked: “What?”
“Wabi-sabi style.” He teased, letting out a laugh.
I almost punched him.
“Your home must be beautifully decorated, right?” Looking at the corner of the bedroom alone, it was already very stylish. I pushed the glass toward him again: “You, drink water.”
He picked it up, pursed his mouth, and bent his thick eyebrows: “So I’m here as a guest?”
My nerves had turned my memory to one that was like a fish. I then remembered the main subject of the night: “Oh, come with me.”
Not having sat down too long, I brought Lu Chengze to the bedroom. This was the area where I had put the most effort into and was the place that I was most satisfied with in the whole house. There were floor-to-ceiling windows making up one wall and large sliding doors which opened up to the balcony, which I had cleaned up. It looked like a small garden.
Lu Chengze stopped at the desk, picked up the bird in the box, turned around and asked, “Where do you want to hang it?”
My brain worked quickly, and I pointed to two places at random, one in front of the sliding door and the other on the inside of the head of the bed: “These two places.”
I consulted him: “Which do you think is better?”
He looked at the corner of the bedside: “Well, it’s about the same place as it hung in my home, so it can adapt to it.”
I laughed.
Lu Chengze said: “Just, I’m not tall enough, so I might have to borrow your bed.”
This big and tall person, what was he doing, he was behaving so pretentiously. I looked at him out of the corner of my eye: “Please feel free.”
He returned the bird in his hand to me and took out two transparent ceiling hook stickers from beneath the cotton cushion of the box——it turned out that he had——prepared them for me. In the next moment, he stepped onto the bed vigorously, raised his arms, and stuck them to the ceiling firmly without much effort.
Lu Chengze was not wearing socks, his feet were slender and large, I could clearly see his bone structure all the way up to his ankles, and the skin was pale and clean-looking. There seemed to be not a single shortcoming that could be seen in him.
As I was still dazed, he brushed his hand off and got off the bed. I blinked and he said: “Wait a few minutes before threading the strings through, otherwise it is likely to fall off.”
I managed to understand his words and nodded.
While waiting, Lu Chengze stood upright, neither sitting nor walking around in the room. I found that he was interested in the record-style bluetooth speaker at the corner of my table, and when he leaned in slightly to observe it, I also tilted my head and looked over.
He turned around and asked me, “Is this a turntable or a speaker?”
I said: “It’s multifunctional, you can play vinyl records, and you can also connect to Bluetooth.”
I put down the little bird, picked up the phone on the table, conveniently called up the first song I had saved last night, and showed him the functions and how it sounded.
A languid female voice was singing:
“You say just come over, come over to mine
cause imma kiss you nice wu
I can’t keep my composure, composing my mind
Why you being nice to me?
Enough, I fold
Because of this music, the air in the room suddenly became heavy, slow, and swaying quietly. It snared my hands and feet, making it difficult to break free.
I swear to God that I didn’t play this song on purpose, but now it seemed that even if I took a dive into the Yellow River, I wouldn’t be able to wash myself of this.
I curled my fingers at my side and spoke unnaturally: “I’ll get your water.”
Just as I was about to turn around, Lu Chengze grabbed my arm, bringing me back to being face to face with him: “Just stay here.”
I stopped moving and didn’t look at him. But I knew he was still looking at me.
He asked in a low voice: “Can I hug you for a moment? Is that okay?”
How could our thoughts be exactly the same, the same feeling of emptiness in our chest and the same urgent need for something to fill that emptiness. I didn’t hesitate to circle my arms around his waist and let myself adhere to his body.
I felt Lu Chengze’s breathing become heavier. It puffed past my ears, very warm.
Lu Chengze hugged me back, his arms tightening a little bit.
I was not wearing a bra, so my entire body was softly pressed against him – everywhere we touched, there was only softness. I sank into his embrace and relaxed.
Lu Chengze noticed this small detail.
“Qi Miao.” His hot and humid breath gushed over my temples.
Me: “Hm?”
He didn’t speak, but I heard the signs of him swallowing. Because of this, the hunger in my body grew rapidly to new heights and I wanted to either devour him that instant, or be viciously stripped and eaten by him.
“I know, I know I act bold
But imma give it all to you
Let you fill this solitude
No self control, I- I overdose
The ambiguous music swept through the room like ripples in water, emanating out in circles, and never ending since I had set it to loop on a whim just before the hug.
Lu Chengze rubbed his lips against the corner of my forehead, and his breaths which puffed from his nose, seemed almost non-existent but felt intimate. The scent of his shower gel which remained on his body, enveloped me in a light fragrance.
His hands were very hot, burning me through my clothes. But instead of sticking closer to him, I shrunk away even more, and the blood vessels beneath my skin seemed to spasm.
I said softly, “Do you think… this music is very suitable for dancing?”
Lu Chengze asked me in a voice which almost sounded like it came from deep within his throat: “Do you want to dance?”
I raised my eyes in astonishment: “I don’t know how to dance, I will end up stepping on you.”
Lu Chengze said: “Relax, just hold me and dance like this.
When his words fell, he began to lead me, taking two steps forward then two steps back.
I wasn’t able to keep in time with the rhythm, and as expected, I stepped on his toe by mistake. I subconsciously flinched and evaded, but was swept back into his arms.
My face was slightly hot: “See, I stepped on you.”
Lu Chengze said, “It doesn’t hurt.”
I never danced at the annual meetings because I was never confident in my physical hand-eye coordination, and even during military training while I was in university, I would occasionally use the same arm and leg when I was performing goose-steps.
“No. I really can’t, can you have mercy on me, please?” I shook my head, refusing to expose more weaknesses.
Lu Chengze lowered his eyes to indicate, his eyelashes covered his eyes, and the gentle glance seemed to trap me: “Then step on my feet and dance.”
“Huh?” I was a little surprised, but it was a plausible method, so I lowered my head and followed his words. When we stepped to the left and then right, the skin of our feet stuck together without any barriers. The back of his feet were very hard and cold. The soles of my feet and my heart trembled like bee wings, shaking off a large amount of shameful honey. I talked to ease the atmosphere: “I have watched a Korean drama with a transmigration theme before, the male and female leads kissed, and the female lead stepped on the male lead’s feet. To this day, that scene remains clear as day in my memory.”
He was still looking into my eyes as he sincerely suggested: “You can try it too.”
I snorted, “What happened to dancing?”
Lu Chengze laughed.
But after a few steps back and forth, I couldn’t stand it anymore— because of my feeling of discomfort, because of my fear of falling. I was relying too much on his body and had lost my sense of control over myself— passively letting him lead me while dancing. I escaped his arms and jumped backwards. The bare soles of my feet touched the floor again.
Lu Chengze stopped: “What’s wrong.”
I exhale: “Can’t step on it anymore.”
There was a question in his eyes.
I said slyly: “What if I step on you until a problem arises which leads to me having to be responsible for you for the rest of my life?”
His eyes darkened in an instant and turned heavy. Unlike before, his gaze rested on my face, but it was locked onto me, with a burning intensity and temperature. In the next moment, I was lifted into the air, very high, so high that I felt a moment of weightlessness. I had imagined what it was like to be held by him in this way, but I didn’t expect it would bring a sense of panic. I took a deep breath. As I was about to lock my legs around him to stabilize myself, I fell back and fell into something soft.
My bed.
Lu Chengze pressed me down; and heavily, messily, and without restraint kissed me.
It was so intense that I couldn’t breathe.
I felt only my heartbeat in the room, as well as his gasps, eagerness, and how he was boiling hot. I couldn’t help but wrap my arms around his neck tightly. After a while, out of breath, he stopped, and the entirety of his handsome face was red against the light. , And the tips of his ears, looking somewhat translucent, like how it appeared when I lit up my skin with a flashlight when I was young, was very attractive.
So I pinched and rubbed his ears between my fingers for a moment to feel how hot they were.
We looked at each other and smiled.
I knew I was not much better, I lost control as well, my face was red, and my heart was about to jump out of my chest at any time.
The music seemed to come back suddenly:
“God I’ve lost my mind
Cause your lips are honeysea
Drippin’ over me
I drink you in like wine
So go on and kiss me nice
Say I’m pure like edelweiss
Like edelweiss”
I squinted slightly, watching as Lu Chengze’s face slowly lost its redness as if it had a halo, as if a small circle of fine hair emerged, I involuntarily raised my hand and touched it, muttering: “Edelweiss.”2[2] It is a mountain flower belonging to the daisy or sunflower family and its leaves and flowers are covered with dense hairs. 
He chuckled, tilted his head, and covered my lips again.
QC:
Why why why WHYYY did you not wear a bra when you know someone’s going to visit? T^T (screams) This is just too reckless… She’s lucky she’s the FL in this story and the ML isn’t programmed to be some creepy douche.
Translator:
^100% this.
Index:
[1] A fly restaurant is something like a greasy spoon. It’s a small “hole in the wall” that has great food despite its appearance and perhaps unhygienic atmosphere.
[2] It is a mountain flower belonging to the daisy or sunflower family and its leaves and flowers are covered with dense hairs.
I think that she was so worried about doing her make up and those things that she forget her clothes, since she decided to stay with that pajama I think she just brushed it off. Well, thank you for the updates!!
that happened to me, I once received a parcel and I forgot to put bra on (the delivery guy was frozen)
I was so embarrassed ⁄(⁄ ⁄•⁄-⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄