Jian Yu Yan was a person who had roamed amongst various beauties for so many years, encountered countless beautiful women, and heard numerous sweet nothings. Yet, there were very few things said that could instantly make his blood surge and rob him of his composure.
Caught unprepared, Yan Yi Ming managed to pull him down. Their faces were extremely close, and they could feel each other’s breaths.
Jian Yu Yan’s right hand was propped beside Yan Yi Ming’s left ear, and the soft pillow was deeply creased from being grabbed, showing how much force was exerted in that grip.
His gaze was firmly locked on the woman in front of him. Although her visage was so familiar, her eyes were filled with cunning and temptation. The cinnabar mole at the corner of her right eye added a touch of allure to her face. Even though the two faces were so similar, Jian Yu Yan clearly knew that the one before him was Ah Ming and not Jian Yu’er. Yet, despite knowing this, he was still stirred, physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Yan Yi Ming reached up and wrapped her arms around Jian Yu Yan’s neck. A seductive smile played at the corner of her lips, and her gaze lowered slightly, finally landing on Jian Yu Yan’s lips. Her right leg unwittingly brushed lightly against a certain area, and Jian Yu Yan, unable to endure her teasing any longer, firmly embraced her. She had teased him past his limit, so he kissed her fiercely.
Ah Ming tasted even better than he had imagined. Once they touched, it was as if a suppressed flame in his heart had been completely ignited. Mixed with the shivers and excitement that only he could understand, he tightly embraced her body close to his with strength like he wanted to meld her being into his.
At that moment, Jian Yu Yan truly could not distinguish who he was kissing. His hands were trembling slightly, and his eyes were intoxicated with passion. Yan Yi Ming momentarily took on the passive role in their exchange before finally becoming the more active one. She teased Jian Yu Yan with her tongue and that aroused him even more. Yet suddenly, he abruptly came to his senses.
Jian Yu Yan felt like he was suddenly doused with a bucket of cold water. His expression immediately turned cold, and he pinched Ah Ming’s chin between his fingers. In an icy tone, he questioned, “Who taught you this!?”
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Jian Yu Yan’s mind was clouded by jealousy and dissatisfaction that seemed to come from nowhere. However, because of her last few words, he gradually regained his composure.
He forced a smile, “Ah Ming, I’ve never regarded you as one of them.”
“But in reality, we’re no different,” Yan Yi Ming said as she straightened her clothes and sat up from the soft couch. She walked towards the table and poured a cup of tea that had already cooled down for herself and Jian Yu Yan. Slowly, she then articulated, “When I was nine years old, my family fell into ruins. There were eight of us, old and young, and we all had to squeeze into a small, dilapidated courtyard. We wore tattered clothes and could only afford to have one meal a day which only consisted of coarse grains.”
Upon hearing her words, Jian Yu Yan glanced at Ah Ming. She handed him the tea cup and continued, regardless of what Jian Yu Yan had running through his mind, “Even now, I can still clearly remember. That fated night, my mother suddenly brought back pastries and white flour to make noodles. It was something we hadn’t been able to eat in a long time. It was the best thing I’d eaten that year and I asked my mother why we could afford to eat these that day. She told me it was because we would soon have some money.
“I never thought that the bowl of noodles that I savoured with relish for so long was actually gotten through the exchange of my being. The master of the theatre troupe told me that my family only asked for a small sum of money in exchange for me.” Yan Yi Ming paused, feeling somewhat ironic. She took a deep breath before continuing reluctantly, “I didn’t know the way around that place nor did I recognise anyone there. The master who taught me how to act and sing would either beat or scold us every day. If someone disobeyed his commands, they wouldn’t be given food or water.”
She noticed a fleeting look of displeasure on Jian Yu Yan’s face when she mentioned this and smiled silently before going on, “Once, I couldn’t stand it and ran away and when I was inevitably caught and brought back, I was beaten to within an inch of my life. Even now that I’ve grown up, the scars from that lesson remain. Until now, I dare not sleep alone at night because as soon as I close my eyes, I’ll remember how my mother coaxed me to drink water that was laced with sedatives before selling me away.”
Lifting her head to look at Jian Yu Yan, Yan Yi Ming fixed her gaze on him with a mocking yet compassionate expression, “Young Master despises me for being impure, but even in my dreams, I wish for a clean body and I don’t have to degrade myself every day in order to survive… Young Master Jian, no one is born tainted…”
No one is born tainted.
In this world, some people feasted on delicacies while others gnawed on bark. People were all born into different stations in life, but no one was born tainted.
Jian Yu Yan felt as if a small silver needle had pierced into his heart, slowly penetrating deeper, bringing a faint yet sharp pain that was tingling and uncomfortable, making it very difficult to bear.
Jian Yu Yan sighed deeply, reaching out to pull Ah Ming up from her seat and into his embrace. “I’m not saying that you’re tainted, I just…”
Just what?
Felt heartache? Jealousy? Or perhaps, “Why didn’t I meet you earlier?”
Yan Yi Ming was slightly stunned and glanced down at Jian Yu Yan.
Jian Yu Yan rested his chin on her shoulder, hence he failed to catch Ah Ming’s expression. His voice was gentler than ever. “If only I’d met you earlier, you could’ve lived like Yu…”
Jian Yu Yan suddenly stopped, his hands trembling as he released Ah Ming.
“What was that?”
“It’s nothing,” Jian Yu Yan forced a smile. He stood up and pressed Ah Ming down to sit. After hesitating for a moment, he lowered his head and kissed her on the corner of her lips. “I still have some matters to attend to. I’ll come see you another day.”
“En.”
What was that about? Naturally, it was about Jian Yu’er. Jian Yu Yan wanted to say that if he had met Yan Yi Ming earlier, she could have grown up carefree like Jian Yu’er. Unfortunately, the words that reached his lips could not be spoken. Comparing a courtesan to the woman he loved, Jian Yu Yan felt like he had insulted Jian Yu’er.
The story she spun today contained elements of truths and falsehoods. It was true that the body that Yan Yi Ming currently occupied was sold off when she was young, but it was a lie to say that she ran away and was beaten half to death. It was true that she became a courtesan, and that kind of identity was usually not regarded to be pure, but it was also because this girl was smart, obedient, and had a good voice. Hence, she had always been protected and her body had never been touched by anyone before.
However, as long as Jian Yu Yan believed it then it was fine.
After Jian Yu Yan left, the maid who was serving Yan Yi Ming sighed with envy, “Young Master Jian is truly good to Miss.”
“Is that so?” Yan Yi Ming’s lips arched upwards, “I heard that Yu Mei also once followed Young Master Jian back then.”
The maid became excited when Yan Yi Ming mentioned this. “She is far inferior compared to Miss. Young Master Jian only rewarded her a few extra taels for her performances, but I can see that he genuinely cares for Miss!”
The maid hesitated for a moment before suggesting, “Miss, why not seize this opportunity and have Young Master Jian redeem you? If you can enter the Prime Minister’s residence and become Young Master Jian’s concubine, it will all be worth it and you’ll want for nothing for the rest of your life.”
“He wouldn’t dare bring me into the Prime Minister’s residence,” Yan Yi Ming said. “Besides, what’s so good about being a concubine? I want to wait until I can redeem myself and then find a good family to marry into.”
Appalled, the maid stared at her. Could marrying someone else compare to being a concubine of Young Master Jian? Moreover, people like them could never expect to marry into a reputable family.
Looking at Yan Yi Ming’s beautiful face, the maid concluded that her Miss was still too young, hence her mindset was like that of a child.
After that day, Jian Yu Yan did not visit Plum Blossom Pavilion for several days. Yu Mei was delighted, thinking that Young Master Jian was finally tired of that little slut, and everyone in Plum Blossom Pavilion was eagerly anticipating to see a good show. However, the owner of Plum Blossom Pavilion did not take further action against her. No one knew that even though Jian Yu Yan did not come, he had sent someone to pass on the message to the owner for him to take good care of Ah Ming.
As for the reason why Jian Yu Yan did not visit Plum Blossom Pavilion, it was because, since that day, there were some things he could not quite figure out anymore.
When he returned home that day, he happened to run into Jiang Yi escorting Jian Yu’er back to the residence. Jian Yu Yan suppressed his anger and did not react on the spot. But when he approached Jian Yu’er to talk about it later on, she said he was meddling too much in her affairs, and even their father thought highly of Jiang Yi.
Jian Yu Yan was stunned.
Previously, like himself, Jian Xiang had opposed Jian Yu’er forming a close relationship with Nangong Xuan. This caused Jian Yu Yan to overlook the fact that Jian Xiang and himself had very different motives in that opposition.
Nangong Xuan might not have been a suitable match, but Jiang Yi was an excellent candidate.
Sure enough, when Jian Yu Yan asked Jian Xiang about it, Jian Xiang smiled and stroked his beard, “Yu’er has now reached a marriageable age. Jiang Yi is young and talented, destined to achieve greatness in the future. Furthermore, he and Yu’er are extremely well-matched in terms of talent and looks. Moreover,” Jian Xiang gestured for the maidservants to leave before continuing in a low voice, “Jiang Yi is definitely not an ordinary person. If we can’t get rid of him, we must turn him to our side. Your Highness, we must not let personal feelings between men and women interfere with our larger plans.”
Jian Xiang’s knowing tone, which Jian Yu Yan had long been familiar with, made Jian Yu Yan’s heart sink.
Until they have accomplished their ultimate goal, he would never have any chance with Jian Yu’er. Even if they managed to succeed, the day was still far away and would not be achieved within the next three to five years.
One could not have both the fish and the bear’s paw2One can’t have their cake and eat it too.. Jian Xiang was reminding him that those who achieved great things had to make difficult choices.
After that day, Jian Yu Yan drowned himself in alcohol. One night, half intoxicated, he entered Jian Yu’er’s courtyard and caught sight of a fine calligraphy piece that Jiang Yi had written for Jian Yu’er.
Jian Yu Yan stared coldly at those characters for a long time before impulsively tossing it into the smouldering stove, where the flames instantly engulfed the white paper with black ink.
Jian Yu’er had rushed out of her room, screaming, “Have you gone mad?!”
For the first time, she was truly angry with Jian Yu Yan. Yet, being a literary lady, she could not bring herself to utter the word ‘scram’. Hence, shaking with suppressed fury, she pointed toward the exit, expressing her frustration and desire for him to leave. She told him that she did not want to see him anytime soon.
Jian Yu Yan lay on the long bench in the pavilion, gazing at the starry sky. He recalled that he was barely old enough to remember things when Jian Xiang first revealed to him that he was not a true member of the Jian family. Instead, he was the orphan left behind by the seventh prince of the previous dynasty. He was not Jian Xiang’s biological son but his nephew. He remembered being chosen to enter the palace as a study companion to Nangong Xuan, only to be told later on that Nangong Xuan was a descendant of someone whom he should have deep-seated enmity with.
In this world, people who treated him well either relied on him for something or expected something from him. None of their feelings and intentions were pure or simple.
He sneered as he walked past the high walls of the rear garden of Jian’s residence. Slightly inebriated, he heard the gatekeeper angrily cursing at someone who wanted to enter. The gatekeeper told off the other party in a condescending tone that the Prime Minister’s residence was not a place where one could come and go as they pleased.
The other party then explained timidly, “Young Master Jian said that he would drop by Plum Blossom Pavilion to admire the blooming plum blossoms when they blossomed.”
Jian Yu Yan suddenly remembered a day not too long ago when he was casually trimming the flowers in Ah Ming’s courtyard. Ah Ming sat by the side and softly stated, “Young Master Jian is really good to these plants and flowers.”
“When will you treat me as well as you treat them?” she added.
He chuckled and asked, “Am I not good to you?”
The maid, who happened to come in, did not understand the full context of their conversation but she still added, “What’s so good about flowers? They only bloom for a few days before they wilt.”
Jian Yu Yan suddenly froze. When he scrutinized Ah Ming, she had her arms splayed out in front of her on the stone table as she rested languidly on them, seemingly unaffected, as if she had not heard anything peculiar.
She had known all along that his kindness to her was as short-lived as the blooming season of flowers, but she pretended to be oblivious.
In the middle of the night, with pitch-black darkness encasing everything, Plum Blossom Pavilion was no longer as lively as it was earlier. The courtesans had removed their makeup and went to sleep. Jian Yu Yan entered Plum Blossom Pavilion, walking along the familiar path in the dim light. In the darkness, only Ah Ming’s residence emitted a faint glow.
No one knew why there was a small lamp lit at the entrance of the courtyard. Jian Yu Yan looked at the dim candlelight, and his eyes softened. In the silent darkness, he let out a low, gentle chuckle.
I jump between using Yan Yi Ming and Ah Ming based on the context. If the narration was from Yan Yi Ming’s point of view, I would use Yan Yi Ming, if it was from Jian Yu Yan or people who knew her from this world, I would usually use Ah Ming as this was the name they ‘knew’ her by. Hope it made sense and cleared some confusion, if any.
♡( ◡‿◡ )♡
Any updates A
ny time soon