Lin Xigu’s heart tightened until he could hardly breathe.
She Xiao had struck the man because he had witnessed him making his son’s head bleed. Lin Xigu suddenly remembered the story Li Balei’s friend had told them about the man that She Xiao had almost beaten to death for no apparent reason. That man had likely been an abuser as well.
He couldn’t bear to speculate on why She Xiao would instantly fly into a manic rage anytime he saw someone beating their children. How many beatings must he have suffered for that to be his first instinct?
They had both been wearing their uniforms, so it was obvious which school they attended. As Lin Xigu feared, the man eventually made his way to the school to complain. Lin Xigu and She Xiao were both summoned to the office. The man’s head was wrapped in bandages; his injuries looked rather serious.
Zhou Cheng’s expression was grave. He asked them to explain themselves.
She Xiao did not answer. Lin Xigu cut in hastily, “He’d beaten his kid so hard that his head was bleeding! We couldn’t just let that happen.”
“Why do you care how I choose to discipline my child?” The man yelled, clutching his shoulder. “Does this school only exist to raise hoodlums?”
Zhou Cheng’s forehead creased. “Can you keep your voice down? Regardless, this is still a school.”
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Nkd Dktw nsdvkdwle rlpvlakdt Hbsw Ubldt qasx lhlau rsppkczl ydtzl. Hbsw Ubldt bye clld cynjle kdvs y ekqqknwzv rspkvksd yp olzz. Tl eked’v wdelapvyde lhlauvbkdt ycswv Fbl Dkys’p bsxl pkvwyvksd, cwv bl bye yd kdjzkdt yde oyp fwpv yp alzwnvydv vs nyzz Fbl Dkys’p ryaldvp wdzlpp bl ycpszwvlzu bye vs. “Xjyu,” bl ytalle blpkvydvzu. “R’zz pll obyv R nyd es yde ol’zz rzyu kv cu lya.”
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Nkd Dktw’p eye oyp pbsnjle obld bl alnlkhle vbl nyzz. Rv oyp vbl qkapv vkxl bl bye lhla clld nsdvynvle ycswv Nkd Dktw tlvvkdt kdvs vaswczl yv pnbssz. “Xjyu,” bl alrzkle, “R’zz cl vblal yp pssd yp rsppkczl. R yrszstkgl qsa yzz vbl vaswczl.”
Gqvla bl bwdt wr, bl kxxlekyvlzu nyzzle Nkd Dktw. Nkd Dktw oyzjle swv kdvs vbl byzzoyu vs vyjl vbl nyzz okvb bkp byde nshlakdt bkp xswvb ekpnallvzu.
“What’s going on? Who hit you? Are you hurt?” His dad fired off rapidly as soon as he picked up.
Lin Xigu felt slightly guilty, “Ba, where are you? I’m sorry for bothering you when you’re so busy and making you come all this way…”
“That’s the least of my concerns. Did anyone hurt you?” His dad asked again.
“No, no, nothing like that,” Lin Xigu said. “A classmate and I beat up this guy. He was protecting me the entire time so I wasn’t hit at all. Ba, when you get here, make sure you take full responsibility for everything that happened. I’m the only one at fault here. It has nothing to do with him. Please, Ba. Help me out.”
Lin Xigu’s dad could sense that he wasn’t being told the whole truth but he agreed, not wanting to waste time discussing over the phone. He dialled the dean’s number next. Yi Song nearly had a heart attack when he received the news and immediately rushed to the office to join the others.
It was a chaotic morning. Lin Xigu and She Xiao were detained in Zhou Cheng’s office and missed all of their morning classes. She Xiao said nothing the entire time, although his gaze would occasionally stall on Lin Xigu and fixate on his throat.
Worried that something was wrong, Lin Xigu leaned over and whispered, “She Xiao, were you hurt at all? Did he get a hit in?”
She Xiao looked at him but maintained his silence.
Lin Xigu rubbed his neck self-consciously and laughed. “It doesn’t hurt anymore. It was a little intense at the time, but I can’t even feel it anymore.”
She Xiao still looked shellshocked. When no one was looking their way, Lin Xigu stuffed a candy into his hand. “It’s peppermint. It’ll help to wake you up.”
She Xiao snatched his hand away as though Lin Xigu had burned him with a hot poker. The candy clattered to the ground.
Lin Xigu looked down at it and chuckled wryly before picking it up and putting it back in his pocket.
When Lin Xigu’s dad finally arrived, he told the school that he would be taking charge of the situation and requested that the boys be allowed to return to class. Lin Xigu and She Xiao were released back to their classroom while the adults moved their discussion to a more private venue; the dean’s office was more secluded than Zhou Cheng’s office in the math department.
Lin Xigu didn’t know the specifics of what they discussed. He only knew that they had managed to keep the man from gaining the upper hand in the ensuing negotiations. Lin Xigu’s dad had decades worth of business acumen under his belt and was an old hand when it came to hard sales. He could be very intimidating when he chose to be.
“Ba, I’m sorry I made you worry, and for making you fly all this way.” Lin Xigu offered his dad a sincere apology later that day. “You should probably decide what my punishment will be.”
His dad chuckled and ruffled his hair, then patted him on the head. “We don’t need to talk about that. You’re my son. When I was your age, your grandpa had already broken two canes trying to keep me in line. I couldn’t even last a week without getting in trouble. You’re a much better kid than your dad ever was. I’ve been saying all along that you’re too quiet. We’re different in that way.”
Lin Xigu’s conscience still nagged at him, but he had no other choice. He couldn’t not save She Xiao. If the same thing ever happened again, he would undoubtedly act similarly, which was why he could only ask for forgiveness without promising that it wouldn’t happen again.
His dad looked at his neck. “What happened to your neck?”
“Ah, I hit it off something when I fell during the fight. It’s nothing.” Lin Xigu knew that his neck was bruised purple. She Xiao had put a lot of force into the punch.
His dad didn’t say anything more at the time but he resurrected the topic that night before bed. “So about that boy who was with you — what’s going on there?”
“Yeah? What about him?” Lin Xigu had already been half asleep but his dad’s question immediately put him on high alert.
“Why didn’t you let the school call his parents? I’m guessing he was the one who actually beat up that man.” His dad said.
Lin Xigu blinked. After mulling it over in his head for a few moments, he decided against lying and came clean. “You’re right.”
“You two are close then?” Lin Xigu’s dad was looking him straight in the eyes, making him feel like his every thought and emotion were being scrutinized.
“Well… yeah, kind of. Ba, he’s my friend. I have to look out for him.” Lin Xigu said.
“Is that so?” His dad raised his eyebrows with an expression which always seemed stern to Lin Xigu. “What kind of friend?”
The question made Lin Xigu’s heart skip a beat.
His dad knew that he liked boys, knew exactly what to suspect. If he were talking to his mom, Lin Xigu would have told her everything, but like most kids and their fathers, he felt awkward talking about his feelings with his dad.
Lin Xigu hid under his blanket. “We’re just friends. It’s not what you’re thinking, at least. Please stop asking, Ba, you’re making me blush. I swear I’m not lying though. We’ve never been more than friends.”
His dad lifted the blanket and pinched his cheeks as he snorted with laughter. “You’re blushing? Well, if you’re blushing, that means there is more to the story. Forget it, I won’t tease you anymore. You’re grown now and don’t feel like sharing everything with your old man, I get it. But just so you know, you can tell me anything. You know how much I like to spoil my son. You don’t have to be afraid to talk to me.”
Lin Xigu nodded affectionately. “I know, Pops.”
Lin Xigu’s dad assumed all parental responsibility and the dean helped smooth things over with the board. The whole incident blew over just like that. Lin Xigu could finally breathe again. He had been terrified that the school would expel She Xiao.
But his good mood didn’t last for long.
She Xiao had grown more distant from him than ever. He had changed routes so that Lin Xigu couldn’t follow him to school in the mornings anymore. It didn’t matter how long he waited; She Xiao had simply stopped walking by his compound.
Lin Xigu was disappointed, but more than that, he was worried. He was afraid that She Xiao would run into someone else hitting their child and react the same way. What would he do if he started a fight all by himself and was hurt in the process?
She Xiao’s condition worsened at school. Lin Xigu noticed that his brow was perpetually clenched. He could still remember how calm and relaxed She Xiao used to be. Although he hadn’t had much of an expression back then either, the skin bridging his brows had always been smooth and Lin Xigu could tell that he had been at peace.
Now, She Xiao was pale and corpse-like, and seemed constantly on edge.
Lin Xigu’s heart squeezed every time he saw him. He didn’t know how to bring him back to that relaxed state. He wanted to say something to him, or do something to help him, but She Xiao had made it abundantly clear that he didn’t want Lin Xigu anywhere near him.
He had even stopped drinking the water that Lin Xigu refilled for him after class.
Li Balei didn’t harass him anymore whenever she caught him dutifully filling She Xiao’s bottle or leaving fruit in his drawer. Sometimes, if she were heading out during break, she would also grab She Xiao’s bottle off his desk and refill it on the way.
If She Xiao were missing an assignment or test, Li Balei would put up her hand and ask for an extra copy.
“Ballet Grrrl, you are a saint. The prettiest saint that ever lived.” Lin Xigu told her.
Li Balei nodded. “I won’t fight you on this. You do whatever you think is right.”
Lin Xigu returned from dinner to find She Xiao napping on his desk. His brows were drawn firmly together; he was unhappy even while asleep. His eyelashes were as long as ever and they softened his face slightly, making him look like a delicate work of art.
Lin Xigu used to be able to admire this face on a daily basis. It had been a long time since he’d had the luxury of staring at him so openly, for so long.
He sat at Li Balei’s desk and, armed with a torn sheet of notepaper and a found pen, he began to draw.
He drew a small figure with large, round eyes that looked imploringly up at the viewer, leaving some white space in the pupils to make the eyes sparkly and alive. The little person in his doodle was pouting as it held up a sign that read:
— She Xiao-gege, cheer up.
Lin Xigu placed the note facedown on She Xiao’s desk, and sat quietly in Li Balei’s chair for a little while longer.
As close as he was, he still could not hear the sound of She Xiao breathing. His breaths were always shallow as he slept, as if he never slept soundly. Perhaps it was because he never felt safe that he never allowed himself to fall into a deep sleep.
He had been apart from She Xiao for so long that even sitting close to him while he slept made Lin Xigu want to award him 20 points.
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