Chapter 13

— He said he didn’t want our seating arrangements to change. I’d like to add 100 points, but in the interest of balance, I can only add 30.

188.

— 30 is not enough; 300 is hardly enough. Let’s add an additional 10 for good measure.

198.

There wasn’t a number big enough to capture the full breadth of Lin Xigu’s emotions in that moment. A slightly sour feeling seemed to fizz up out of nowhere, making his nose tingle.

She Xiao was too good to be true. He was already in too deep, and She Xiao’s words would only make him sink deeper until he had drowned in it.

He never lost the tenor of that emotion over the following days which had shifted something inside him. Just thinking about She Xiao made him want to immediately return home and do nothing but wait patiently for school to start.

With only two days left until the start of school, Lin Xigu was finally driven home by the chauffeur. His dad seemed quite melancholy, sighing and deeply reluctant to part with his son.

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“Fbl Dkys!” Nkd Dktw nyzzle psqvzu. “Qsse xsadkdt!”

He had thought She Xiao would acknowledge him with a “mn” as he always did, but unexpectedly, She Xiao opened his mouth and calmly replied, “Good morning.”

Lin Xigu’s heart skipped, then softened.

He pretended to look for something in his bag and turned to face the wall. His heart was beating so hard he was afraid someone would hear.

She Xiao had said “good morning” to him.

It wasn’t just good; it was g-g-g-great!

Zhou Cheng had arrived early as well. It was the start of a new term and the time of year when expectations were set, which meant he had to force feed everyone an obligatory pep talk that made them all feel like future Nobel Prize laureates. 

And after they had gorged themselves on carrots, down came the stick.

“I’ve been saying for ages that summer break is too long at our school. What other school lets their high schoolers run amok like we do? As if you lot weren’t unruly enough!”

Zhou Cheng stood at the lectern, his steely eyes sweeping over the faces of his students. “I can tell just from looking at you that you’ve lost all sense of routine. Did you all sleep in until 10 A.M. during the break? I’d like to see who’ll have the guts to nod off this morning. My kid’s been badgering me all summer and I’m very high-strung so believe me – you won’t want to tick me off on your first day back unless you want to be put to bed with a shovel.

“I’ve half a mind to schedule another round of parent-teacher conferences after last year’s finals. Perhaps one of these days, I’ll make up my mind. Keep your guard up. I don’t want anyone cussing me out when that happens. You’ve been warned!”

Lin Xigu didn’t hear a word of Zhou Cheng’s speech – he had She Xiao sitting beside him! Having eagerly anticipated this moment all summer, he was finally here. And She Xiao looked healthy, with no visible signs of injury. It made him happy to see him like this.

Lin Xigu scribbled a note and slid it over. 

— If they make us change seats today, don’t let anyone sit beside you. I can always find my way back, okay?

She Xiao glanced at the note on his desk and jabbed out a short reply.

— Nothing will change.

She Xiao said “nothing will change”! Why was his tone so fierce?

He wanted to laugh, but Zhou Cheng was still speaking. If he were caught laughing at a time like this, his ass was grass. Don’t laugh. Show some self-restraint. 

For their new seating assignments, everyone was asked to line up in the hallway in ascending order of height. Lin Xigu and She Xiao were inches apart so they had no chance of standing next to each other. Lin Xigu was placed somewhere in the middle while She Xiao stood near the end of the line. Other than their athletics rep, he was the tallest in the class.

She Xiao looked very composed, his eyes unblinking.

It was unclear whether Zhou Cheng had intentionally asked Lin Xigu to stand beside Chen Yiqi, even though their heights were clearly different. Chen Yiqi was the smartest girl in class. She was friendly and helpful, and always waved hello to Lin Xigu whenever their paths crossed, so Lin Xigu had a positive impression of her. 

But a positive impression didn’t mean that he wanted to sit with her. 

Lin Xigu and Chen Yiqi were given fourth row desks in the center of the room. Lin Xigu hesitated, but did not argue. As he filed in after her, he made fast plans in his head to find Zhou Cheng after class and ask him to pair Chen Yiqi with someone who had better grades.

She Xiao was standing at the end of the line so he and the athletics rep were the last students left. Zhou Cheng did not bother assigning seats to them. She Xiao stepped into the room, his head lowered. With two students to each pair of desks, there were many spare desks left over. The entire last row was empty and the second last row was only partially filled.

She Xiao turned down the aisle bordering Lin Xigu’s desk and started walking toward the back of the room. As he passed Lin Xigu, his hand flashed out and he lifted Lin Xigu’s backpack off his chair.

Lin Xigu’s heart went with it.

She Xiao carried Lin Xigu’s backpack to almost the very back until he was standing beside a pair of desks in the second to last row. Then he looked at Lin Xigu, his face expressionless, and pointed to the inside seat. 

Lin Xigu did not stand immediately. He sat stock-still, admiring She Xiao in a new light. A lump had risen in his throat. In that moment, She Xiao could no longer be described by inadequate words of praise.

He did not know how to put words to his feelings, but he felt… seen by someone he cared about. Although She Xiao’s willingness to sit beside him didn’t mean anything more, it was, at the very least, a sign of acceptance. 

He felt… warm. His heart swelled.

“What are you doing?” Zhou Cheng barked at She Xiao. “Why did you just take his backpack?”

She Xiao was still looking at Lin Xigu.

Lin Xigu was not done savouring the moment but Zhou Cheng’s questions left him no choice but to stand. She Xiao did not like to speak, so it was up to him to speak on his behalf.

Lin Xigu leapt up and ran to She Xiao’s side, a grin plastered on his face, “Laoshi! Laoshi, I’d better sit here with She Xiao. I’m farsighted. I can’t see the board if I’m too close, remember?”

Zhou Cheng frowned, still disapproving of the way She Xiao had forcibly taken another student’s backpack. He couldn’t tell whether Lin Xigu was acting of his own volition or if he had been intimidated by She Xiao.

“She Xiao, are you aspiring to be a crime boss?” Zhou Cheng glared daggers at him. “Not saying a word and strutting about, doing whatever you want — You think this classroom’s your turf and you’re the don? What are you staring at Lin Xigu for? He doesn’t want to sit with you!”

“I do!” Lin Xigu objected. “I want to sit with him, I do! Laoshi, please just let me sit here. Calm yourself now. The two of us can seat ourselves. You have nothing to worry about. Don’t be mad!”

Lin Xigu wriggled his way past She Xiao, stowed his backpack and pulled She Xiao down by the arm to make him sit down beside him. 

He beamed at Zhou Cheng. “All good, Laoshi! We’re all good. Your work here is done!”

Zhou Cheng looked back at him in exasperation. He had gone out of his way to seat him with Chen Yiqi, but he did not foresee that Lin Xigu would look his gift horse in the mouth.

He turned away with a weary expression of reproach. Lin Xigu sighed a breath of relief. He had interjected the moment Zhou Cheng started laying into She Xiao.

He couldn’t stand to hear anybody criticizing She Xiao, not even their homeroom teacher. 

It was a pity that his neighbours to the front had changed into classmates he did not know very well. Li Balei and Fang Xiaoshan had been split up too and were currently making eyes at each other from across the room. 

Lin Xigu remembered the text that Li Balei had sent him not too long ago and smiled to himself.

Their old desks had been on the north side, by the wall, and he had spent his days staring at the right side of She Xiao’s face. Now that they were seated by the window, he could only see She Xiao’s left. 

The left side of his face was just as lovely, but he didn’t have the same red birthmark on his left ear. 

She Xiao turned his head to look at him, perhaps having felt the intensity of his stare. Lin Xigu jumped. She Xiao had never reacted to his staring before. 

Lin Xigu shot him a timorous smile and thinking fast, asked, “Can I sit on the outside this time?”

He still wanted to see that little red birthmark. 

She Xiao blinked. “Okay.”

The first day of school had showered him with so many surprises that he was almost indifferent now to hearing She Xiao speak. After She Xiao had claimed his backpack for the whole class to see, Lin Xigu’s tolerance for such things had graduated to the next level.  

Li Balei rushed over to commiserate as soon as class ended. “What am I going to do? I hate sitting so far from you! Who’s going to keep me company now?”

“We never talked all that much either,” Lin Xigu said.

“That’s not the point. You were so close before!” Li Balei’s eyes were turning red. She looked doleful. “Even if you never talked to me, I’d still want to be near you. That’s how much I lurve you.”

Lin Xigu quickly fended her off. “Whoa, don’t ‘lurve’ me. We have to draw the line somewhere. Besides, don’t you only have a thing for basketball players?”

“…” Li Balei’s moment of sentimentality was instantly shattered by Lin Xigu’s retort. She sniffled. “You’re mental.”

And with that, she strode off. 

The only person Lin Xigu cared about in this situation was She Xiao, so he didn’t have a strong opinion about the other aspects of the new seating plan. At the end of the day, they were still in the same class. It didn’t matter where they sat between breaks.

After She Xiao’s last “okay”, Lin Xigu did not hear another word out of him for the rest of the day. But he was already satisfied beyond his wildest expectations.

Upon returning home that night, Lin Xigu allowed his emotions to stabilize before sending She Xiao a text.

Thank you.

Thank you for your kindness. After today, no matter how hopeless it may seem, I’ll always have the strength to keep my feelings for you alive. 

His phone vibrated.

She Xiao had replied, too —

Thank you.