Lin Xigu looked down at She Xiao’s hand on his arm and took a deep breath. “I’m not hurt! No part of me hurts!”
She Xiao was still frowning at him with a grave expression on his face.
Lin Xigu remained crouched until the pain had somewhat subsided before getting to his feet, laughing dryly. “I’m sorry. You seem unused to people touching you, yeah? I’ll remember to give you a heads up next time.”
She Xiao stood with him, his hand dropping. His voice was low and heavy. “Mn.”
Lin Xigu no longer knew how to regulate his emotions. This was an unexpected breakthrough in the progression of their relationship. She Xiao had spoken to him at length, and he had voluntarily touched his arm.
Why was his hand so cold on a warm June day?
Lin Xigu tried his best to keep up with She Xiao’s strides so that they walked side-by-side the rest of the way to school. It was good that he had hung up the phone before everything that happened, he thought suddenly. Had his mom overheard She Xiao knocking him down with his elbow, she would have had even more to worry about.
Her very own son, in love with a violent delinquent…
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Nkd Dktw nblnjle bkxplzq shla kd vbl cyvbassx. Tl oyp yole cu vbl pblla rsola sq Fbl Dkys’p yvvynjp yp bl pvyale esod yv vbl cltkddkdtp sq y cawkpl sd bkp clzzu. Rq vblu lhla tsv kdvs y qktbvkdt pryv, Fbl Dkys nswze rascyczu esod bkx okvb y pkdtzl czso, vbl jkde oblal y jdsnjswv oyp elnzyale yqvla vbl vld-nswdv.
Nk Jyzlk oyp zukdt kd oykv cynj yv vbl nzyppassx. Fllkdt bkx alvwad oyp zkjl pllkdt bla pyhkswa kd vbl qzlpb. “Dktw, Dktw! Fyhl xl, iwknj! Nlv xl nsru uswa bsxlosaj qasx zypv dktbv! R qsatsv vs es kv yde Hbsw Ubldt’p tskdt vs pzywtbvla xl kq bl qkdep swv!”
“Xjyu, R’zz zssj qsa kv,” Nkd Dktw plyanble bkp cyt cwv nyxl wr lxrvu. “Slzym, ol pvkzz byhl ydsvbla rlakse vkzz xyvb. Zsw’zz byhl kv sdnl R qkde kv.”
“Twaau wr!”
Nk Jyzlk’p vsdtgbws bye qkdkpble bkp bsxlosaj yp olzz cwv Nk Jyzlk oyp pdsccu ycswv bkp bydeoakvkdt yde dlhla nsrkle qasx bkx; Nkd Dktw oyp wpwyzzu bla vyatlv sq nbsknl.
“Zlyb, fwpv bydt sd.” Nkd Dktw oyp nlavykd vbyv bl bye caswtbv kv okvb bkx cwv obu oyp kv dsoblal vs cl qswde?
“Elzz, vbyv’p olkae…” Nkd Dktw qasodle yp bl qzkrrle vbaswtb bkp xyvb cssj. Tl nzlyazu alxlxclale pydeoknbkdt kv clvolld vbl rytlp sq bkp vlmvcssj.
Mblu olal yzalyeu byzqoyu kdvs vblka Ubkdlpl Nkv zlnvwal. Nk Jyzlk obkrrle yaswde, zssjkdt xwaelaswp. ”Nkd Dktw! Gal usw jllrkdt kv qasx xl vs xyjl y rskdv?”
”No, I honestly can’t find it.” Lin Xigu looked at She Xiao, then leaned in, his eyes darting from side to side as he whispered. “She Xiao, I have to grab something. Don’t hit me.”
It was his second time saying that exact line. It amused him to hear himself repeating it again.
He hoisted She Xiao’s backpack onto his lap and found She Xiao’s math homework which he took out and handed to Li Balei. “Here, copy She Xiao’s in the meantime. I’ll keep looking.”
Li Balei had been observing him, slack-jawed. Accepting the homework, her gaze ping-ponged between the two of them. She turned to Lin Xigu, waggling her eyebrows. ”You two are so intimate,” she whispered.
”…” Lin Xigu had no idea what to say to that.
“Shanzi1Li Balei’s nickname for Fang Xiaoshan, her tongzhuo introduced in Ch. 7. and I are thick as thieves but even then, his backpack is strictly off-limits. You two don’t even talk to each other but he still lets you go through his stuff? He’s not going to beat you up for that?” Li Balei’s face filled with wonder.
Sitting next to She Xiao had trained Lin Xigu to be entirely self-sufficient. He didn’t need permission for most things, as long as he didn’t touch She Xiao when he grabbed what he needed. The same rules applied when he organised She Xiao’s things; She Xiao didn’t seem to care. Little things like that probably didn’t matter in whatever reality he lived in.
But hearing Li Balei frame it in those terms, he was forced to concede that no one else would have allowed their tongzhuo to ferret around in their backpack like he had.
Somehow… that thought made him want to smile…
Li Balei’s use of the word “intimate” was giving him secondhand embarrassment… oh no, he was going to blush.
Lin Xigu zipped up the backpack and set it back down behind She Xiao.
Their relationship had slightly improved after She Xiao elbowed him in the gut. She Xiao replied to him more frequently now, and spoke more words with each response.
For Lin Xigu, it was considered a great day if he’d heard She Xiao speak at least once that day. At his age, he had little else to worry about, so what little capacity for concern he had was entirely dedicated to She Xiao. Any kind of response he received from She Xiao was cause for celebration.
The end of term was fast approaching and even though there had been no significant developments between them other than some marginally longer conversations, Lin Xigu was satisfied. He had never anticipated anything more, and even if She Xiao had only replied with a handful of “Mn”’s that day, it was enough to keep his spirits up until his head hit the pillow.
But it was also because She Xiao would volunteer longer sentences on occasion that Lin Xigu discovered something off about his speech. She Xiao almost never spoke a complete sentence in a single breath, always taking a short pause in the middle. At first, Lin Xigu had thought that it was just his personal style of speaking, that he was simply a slow speaker, but upon closer scrutiny, he was uncertain if that were true.
It was almost as though he had a little… stutter.
Lin Xigu didn’t want to say that word aloud or even think about it, for that matter. Labeling She Xiao with that word made him feel uncomfortable. Heartsore.
She Xiao was perfect the way he was.
Then again, although his answers were slow and drawn out, he mostly sounded normal, so Lin Xigu chose to believe that he was simply overthinking it.
He placed the thermos down on She Xiao’s table, smiling. “Zhou-ayi made this fruit tea. I chilled it in the fridge overnight. It’s very good, try it.”
She Xiao looked at him and shook his head.
”It’s not too sweet, don’t worry.” Lin Xigu unscrewed the lid and pressed the thermos into She Xiao’s hand. “Try it. It’s cold.”
She Xiao finally took a sip.
Lin Xigu was all smiles as he replaced the lid. “I knew you would like it; that’s why I brought it. You like eating fruit, don’t you? Since your skin’s so fair.”
She Xiao wet his lips after drinking the tea, the tip of his tongue lightly curving over his bottom lip. Lin Xigu was instantly entranced.
“Mn.” It was She Xiao’s signature monosyllabic response.
Lin Xigu was used to it by now. He played for time, casting about for another topic of conversation, “So our finals are coming up…”
She Xiao had nothing to say to him this time. Although he did reply more often these days, he didn’t follow every sentence with a response.
On that note, Lin Xigu was rather depressed at the prospect. This was the first time in living memory that he wasn’t eager for summer to start. After all, he would not be able to see She Xiao every day anymore. He didn’t even know where She Xiao lived. He was probably going to stay with his dad anyways. It seemed only right to keep his old man company while school was out for the summer.
If his break were long enough, perhaps he could go visit his mom as well.
Not being able to see She Xiao on the weekends was intolerable enough. He didn’t know how he was going to make it a whole month without his source of joy.
Thinking this, he glanced over at She Xiao who was reading his book, as quiet as ever. Lin Xigu felt reassured by his presence, even though he didn’t speak much.
Lin Xigu put a surprising amount of effort into studying for his final exams, pulling numerous all-nighters to cram in the weeks leading up to them.
When the final grades were issued, he realised that his efforts had paid off. He had placed 32nd on his midterms. Now he was 26th in the class.
The end of their final exams marked the unofficial beginning of summer vacation, but they still had to return to school one last time to collect their report cards and homework for the summer. No one was wearing their uniforms that day. Lin Xigu arrived at school, dressed casually in a t-shirt and sweatpants and feeling utterly depressed.
It was the last time he would get to see She Xiao before the break.
She Xiao was wearing a pure white t-shirt paired with light coloured pants. There were no patterns or logos on his clothes, just a clean palette of white from head to toe.
His gaze found Lin Xigu. Lin Xigu quickly smiled back and jogged over to him.
As he neared, Lin Xigu could see another scrape on She Xiao’s arm. It didn’t look serious, just some light bruising and abrasions.
Lin Xigu lowered his voice and asked, “You’ve been fighting again?”
She Xiao said nothing.
“If you can… try to stay out of fights. No good in getting injured all the time.” He didn’t want to press the topic. After all, he was not close to She Xiao in that way. He was afraid he would annoy She Xiao if he talked too much about it.
Lin Xigu was truly miserable that day. Summer vacation was longer than he’d originally thought. A total of 47 days, in fact. When he was told when school would be resuming in the fall, he deflated completely and hung his head, not saying a word.
Li Balei clapped Lin Xigu on the shoulder. She had donned a floral sundress for the occasion. “Why do you look like a kicked puppy? It’s summer break, but you’re over here looking like someone owes you money. Who hurt you?”
Lin Xigu forced a half-hearted smile. “Nobody. For a studious kid like me, what’s the meaning of life if I’m not in school? I’ll have no outlet for my burning love of learning.”
”Bull.” Li Balei snorted. “Tell me the truth. You pining after some girl?”
Lin Xigu subconsciously turned to look at She Xiao but stopped himself in time.
He sighed, ”If a girl ever catches my eye, believe me, you would be the first to know.”
Li Balei nodded. “I’m good with that. So long as there are no girls involved, the chocolates are all mine.”
Lin Xigu didn’t have the heart for banter, so he left it at that.
In actuality, he had wanted to invite She Xiao out for a celebratory meal, but he couldn’t bring himself to ask in the end; he knew there was a good chance that he would be rejected.
The smitten xiao-Xigu always lost his nerve when it came to She Xiao.
He shouldered the weight of his summer assignments and sighed the whole walk home.
The 47-day break had not even officially started and Lin Xigu already felt like a goner. He lay motionless in bed, gently caressing the box of cigarettes in his hand. After much deliberation, he pulled out a cigarette, placed it between his lips, and lit it.
The cigarette had already turned stale, but Lin Xigu couldn’t taste the difference. It was all the same to him.
The smoke plumed from his mouth and stung his eyes, so Lin Xigu closed them, his mind filling with thoughts of She Xiao.
He laughed to himself in a moment of self-derision.
The heart of a teenage boy is a sentimental thing…
He had finished packing already. A driver was coming the next day to take him to his dad’s place.
Lin Xigu heard his phone chime in his pocket, the notification sound indicating that he had a new text message. He took it out, thinking it was probably another promo message from his mobile carrier as he glanced at it with indifference.
In the next second, Lin Xigu had forgotten how to breathe. When he finally reentered his body, he gasped for air, inhaling a large cloud of cigarette smoke into his lungs which instantly downed him in a violent coughing fit until tears were streaming from his eyes.
The lit cigarette had fallen through his fingers and burnt a mid-sized hole into his shirt.
The text message lighting his phone screen was from an unknown number. Clean and sparse, it contained only two characters.
She Xiao.
Translator’s Notes: Going forward, I will be colour coding text messages in purple to make conversations easier to read, as well as adding line breaks between descriptions and text messages. This is different from how it’s presented in the source text but I’m making a judgment call for readability.
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