Chapter 11

H-h-how was he supposed to reply to that?!

Lin Xigu beamed at the two characters on the screen as though flowers were about to sprout from his phone and burst into full-bloom.

He had given She Xiao his phone number sometime before their final exams, scribbling it on one of the many assignment lists he copied for She Xiao, with a short note alongside it:

— This is my number. If you need anything during the summer, feel free to contact me.

He didn’t dare dream that She Xiao would ever text him. He always thought that She Xiao had only glanced at it before it was promptly thrown away. But now it seemed as though She Xiao had not only looked at his number and kept it, could it also be possible that he had added him to his contacts list?

My god… this was going to be the death of him. How could he possibly bear to leave the next day?

Lin Xigu mulled over his reply for a long time, deliberating over every detail. He typed out an entire essay on his phone before he deleted everything, leaving only one sentence:

This is Lin Xigu, happy summer vacation.

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Fbl Dkys xwpv yzalyeu jdso vbl dwxcla clzsdtle vs bkx, cwv kv pllxle pvaydtl vs fwpv pyu “byrru pwxxla hynyvksd”, ps bl’e vynjle kv sd qsa vbl osae nswdv.

Nkd Dktw ralpple vbl rbsdl vs bkp nblpv, wdyczl vs iwlzz bkp fwckzydv blyav. Gbbb! Fbl Dkys bye vlmvle bkx! Tso oyp bl lhla tskdt vs nsxl esod qasx vbkp bktb? Tl oydvle vs zlyr qsa fsu. Tl oydvle vs awd.

Rd vbl eyup vbyv qszzsole, Nkd Dktw eke dsv alnlkhl ydu xsal vlmvp qasx Fbl Dkys. Tl oswze alalye vbl sdl bl bye lhlau ps sqvld. Mblal oyp y nlavykd ldnbydvxldv kd vbspl vos nbyaynvlap vbyv prlzzle swv “Fbl Dkys”, y jkde sq obkvl xytkn vbyv caswtbv bkx kxxldpl fsu lhlau vkxl bl pyo kv.

Tkp eye oyp y cwpu xyd yde yzvbswtb bl ayalzu bye vkxl vs cl y bydep-sd ryaldv, kv oyp schkswp vbyv bl bye tldwkdlzu xkpple bkp psd. Tl pvyavle vyjkdt bkx lhlauoblal bl oldv yp pssd yp Nkd Dktw yaakhle. Nkd Dktw oyp bkp pbyeso yv vbl sqqknl yde sd bkp cwpkdlpp vakrp. Nkd Dktw eked’v byhl ydu scflnvksdp yde oldv yzsdt okvb bkp eye’p kvkdlayau yp bl pyo qkv. Gzvbswtb bl nswzed’v pll Fbl Dkys shla vbl pwxxla, bl nsdvldvle bkxplzq okvb clkdt yczl vs pll bkp eye lhlau eyu.

“Tlzzs, Yyxy,” Nkd Dktw oyp zswdtkdt sd vbl alnzkdla kd bkp eye’p sqqknl, qklzekdt y hkels nyzz okvb bkp xsx.

Tkp xsx oyp kd vbl rasnlpp sq alxshkdt bla xyjlwr. “Zsw’al yv uswa eye’p nsxrydu ytykd?”

“Gb, uwr,” Nkd Dktw’p lulp nwahle kdvs nalpnldvp yp bl zwmwakyvle kd vbl pwd’p oyax tzso. “Rv’p dsv zkjl R byhl ydu rzydp sq xu sod yduoyup, ps dso R’x vbl vytyzsdt.”

“Mbyv’p tsse. Zsw pbswze prlde xsal vkxl okvb uswa eye obkzl usw nyd; usw’zz eakqv yryav kq usw esd’v zkhl wdela vbl pyxl assq. Eblal’p uswa eye dso?”

Lin Xigu laughed. “My dad’s over there, reading. And what are you even saying? People don’t have to live together to be close. You haven’t seen me in almost a year – have we drifted apart?”

His mom laughed at that and then sighed. She always ached for her son whenever she saw Lin Xigu’s laughing face; she missed him more than words could say. “There’s no one else I’m closer to than you. You’re my child.”

“Then that’s all there is to it. You’re my mom and dad, plain and simple. I’m almost grown now, so don’t worry. There’s no chance of me going through a rebellious phase now.” Lin Xigu had seen plenty of kids his age engaging in power struggles with their parents. He rather thought that puberty had not had much of an effect on his emotions. He had never been defiant in that way.

He supposed his feelings towards She Xiao were the only symptoms of his hormones running amuck.

He had fallen for him for no apparent reason, and now his heart was in a constant state of chaos.

Lin Xigu didn’t move a muscle after the call ended, perfectly comfy where he was as he took a short nap. His mom was still worried about his little crush, and would ask about it every other day. He supposed his mom was relieved now that he was spending all his time with his dad. At the very least, she wouldn’t have to worry about him sleeping around.

He didn’t know if he would ever get an opportunity to sleep around with She Xiao.

She Xiao with his fair and smooth skin, his legs long and lissome.

Lin Xigu, what are you even thinking about…

He was going crazy.

His dad had a dinner party to attend that night, and Lin Xigu was invariably expected to go. His dad’s business associates had plenty of nice things to say about Lin Xigu whenever he was introduced, telling him what a handsome boy he was.

Lin Xigu could only think that’s because you haven’t met anyone truly attractive.

Lin Qiurong was a true bigshot in the way he conducted his business, and he was just as charismatic in person. Lin Xigu thought he couldn’t be farther from his dad in that respect; he was too introverted, nor could he ever achieve what his dad had accomplished. Sometimes, when he looked upon his father, he felt like he was looking at a celebrity.

They were being driven home from the party by his dad’s chauffeur, the two of them seated in the back row. Lin Xigu grinned at his dad. “Ba, you’re pretty darn cool.”

Lin Qiurong turned and raised his brows. He’d had a couple of glasses at the party, and the tiredness was catching up with him. “And you finally just noticed, eh? Your dad’s been cool for forty years and counting.”

“Maybe I was desensitized to it because you were around all the time. Now that I only get to see you a few times a year, I’ve suddenly discovered that my old man is the coolest man alive.”

His dad chuckled. “Are you just buttering me up because you have something you want from me? You flatter me but also, why are my spidey senses tingling?”

Lin Xigu slapped his dad’s knee in a huff. “I’m not asking anything of you; I was just letting you know how I feel! Jeez, Dad.”

“Do you still have money on your card?” Lin Qiurong pinched his son’s arm lightly, saying, “You’re too skinny. When I was your age, I was made of tougher stuff.”

“Of course I do. And for the record, I wasn’t praising you because I wanted money.” Lin Xigu felt a little exasperated. “I don’t have anything to spend it on anyways. I figure the money in my account will last me until graduation, and then some.”

“I’ll transfer you more tomorrow,” his dad said as he leaned back in his seat, closing his eyes and falling into a dead snooze.

Lin Xigu felt as though he hadn’t been able to get his point across, but he supposed it didn’t matter. If his dad wanted to send him money, then so be it.

Lin Xigu had downed two beers over dinner as well, and he was still drowsy after he arrived home and showered. He didn’t drink regularly, had never been properly drunk before, but based on how his body felt every time he drank, he suspected that he was a bit of a lightweight.

The night was tranquil but the dregs of alcohol still roiling in his bloodstream kept him awake despite the heaviness in his eyelids. He was staring at the text message on his phone again. It only contained two characters, but he had already dissected the characters a thousand times over, had stared at them for so long that he barely recognised them anymore.

His insides were jittery. He wanted to do something.

Summer break was only half over. How was he going to make it through the other half? The two characters alone weren’t enough.

Lin Xigu chewed on his lower lip, brushing his fingertips over his phone. He must have hemmed and hawed for nearly half an hour. In the end, his rational side lost to a burning desire to do something impulsive, and he sent a text to the number on his screen.

She Xiao?

At this late hour, She Xiao was probably already in bed, and even if he wasn’t, he probably would not reply anyway. Regardless, Lin Xigu felt satisfied after having sent the text. He placed his phone under his pillow, finally drifting to sleep while etching the image of She Xiao with his mind’s eye.

But before he was completely asleep, his phone vibrated under his pillow.

Lin Xigu’s heart skipped a beat.

Could it be She Xiao replying to him… even at this time of night?

My god, now that’s a dangerous kind of hope.

He sat up in bed and unlocked his phone. As he loaded up the messaging app, he felt as though his heart was going to emerge from his throat if it beat any harder.

It really was She Xiao.

It was not a long reply. One could even say that it was the shortest reply possible, but it was enough to shake Lin Xigu to his very core –

Mn?

Mn??? And a question mark to boot?! Did She Xiao really write this??

What did the question mark mean? The question mark meant that the conversation was meant to be continued! If She Xiao had asked a question, then he must be expecting some kind of answer, right? How could a single character and a punctuation mark equate to something so kind and gentle?

Kind and gentle were words that he would never use to describe She Xiao. How could he be so uncharacteristically kind!

Lin Xigu patted his chest, nervous that he was one giddy thought short of a heart attack. It was frightening how fast his heart was racing.

He crossed his legs and took several deep breaths, slowly exhaling. Feeling calmer, he raised his phone to his face and pondered what to type in response.

He tapped out each word slowly.

Am I disturbing you?

He carefully hit “send”.

The reply came quickly. Lin Xigu held his breath as he opened the text.

No.

No! He wasn’t being a disturbance! Couldn’t he take that to mean he was allowed to keep texting him? 

His heart was getting away from him again. Lin Xigu soothed his chest, muttering, “No, no, settle down, how do you expect me to text when you’re beating like this? Slow down now…”

What should he say? What could he say that wouldn’t seem strange?

Lin Xigu’s expression was filled with tenderness and apprehension. He chewed on his lip as he replied slowly:

I saw on the weather forecast that heat warnings are being issued where you are. Be careful you don’t get heatstroke.

He didn’t dare stall any longer. If he didn’t send it quickly, She Xiao would have turned in for the night. But he regretted the message as soon as he’d sent it. What was he even saying…

He rolled around in his sheets, covering his face and berating himself for being a chicken.

Lin Xigu was not as surprised that She Xiao replied this time also, but he still held his breath as he read his reply.

Mn.

She Xiao had replied three times. Each reply only consisted of a single word, for a total of three words.

But Lin Xigu thought those three words were unbearably lovely. The simple “mn” had appeared twice, and every time he read that word now, it evoked a warm and familiar feeling within him.

He was afraid to say more, afraid of annoying She Xiao. Moreover, Lin Xigu really did not know what else he could say. He was afraid that he might carelessly betray his innermost thoughts. As a gay teen boy, he had to safeguard his little secret at all times.

If he didn’t, the ripple effects could be catastrophic.

I’ll let you rest then. I’m going to bed, goodnight.

He reluctantly hit “send” and sat there, holding his phone in mournful silence. If She Xiao had been a girl, he wouldn’t have had to be so careful. He would have been able to tell her how he felt, bold as brass. The worst thing that would happen to him was being rejected – and so what?

However, had She Xiao been a girl, Lin Xigu probably would not have noticed her in the first place, let alone chosen to sit beside her. And now here he was, fretting over something as simple as a text message. The more he thought about it, the more it pained him.

She Xiao did not reply to his final text. Lin Xigu went to sleep that night with the phone still clutched in his hand. The three new texts stored in his phone granted him a deep sense of security and he slept soundly.

He also had a dream.

The contents of that dream kept the blush in his cheeks throughout the entire morning after. It was also the reason he had to change out of the new underwear he had just put on the night before.

No one could fault him for that. He was of that age when his young mind thought and dreamt of anything and everything. He’d had such dreams before.

Only in this dream, She Xiao had been just a little too perfect.

H-h-he… well, in any case, he had been too alluring, like some kind of yaojing.¹妖精 (yaojing), a usually malevolent (but can also be neutral/benevolent) spirit/fairy; a sexually seductive woman. E.g. the famous 狐狸精 (huli jing) or fox spirit is an example of a yaojing. Fox spirits were thought to disguise themselves as women. In this guise, they seduced young men to absorb “life essence through their semen”. You can replace yaojing with “incubus” and it would mean the same thing in this context, imo.

Lin Xigu’s soul was stolen by the yaojing She Xiao.