Chapter 5.2

The next day at the breakfast table, Feifei clearly avoided Xin Zhihuan’s gaze.

Unless necessary, she wouldn’t look at him or talk to him. After finishing breakfast, she took the initiative to collect the bowls and chopsticks, and reported to her in-laws that there were still many things to take care of at the restaurant, so she had to return to Taipei first.

“Zhihuan, you stay at home and accompany Mom and Dad for a few more days!” This was the first thing she said to him that day, meaning she wanted him to stay away from her a bit!

Xin Zhihuan narrowed his eyes. “I’ll drive you back.”

“No need.” She declined politely. “I’ll take the train back by myself.”

He insisted. “I said I’ll drive you.”

“You stay here and accompany Mom and Dad, why waste the time back and forth?” 

“Who said I have to come back? I have a lot of things to deal with in Taipei too!”

The following parts of the text will be scrambled to prevent theft from aggregators and unauthorized epub making. Please support our translators by reading on secondlifetranslations (dot) com. If you are currently on the site and and you are seeing this, please clear your cache.

“Zsw… kv’p clld ps zsdt pkdnl usw’hl clld bsxl, osd’v usw pvyu y qlo xsal eyup?”&dcpr;

“R nyd nsxl cynj zyvla. Pye, Ysx, usw esd’v scflnv, es usw?”

“Twb? Mbkp…”

Fllkdt vblx wdyczl vs alpszhl vblka ekprwvl, vbl vos lzelap, obs bye saktkdyzzu oydvle vs pdlyj yoyu vs vbl zkhkdt assx vs yhske vbl nsdqzknv, lmnbydtle xlydkdtqwz tzydnlp.

“Xq nswapl, usw byhl y zsv sq vbkdtp vs es kd Mykrlk, ps nsxl hkpkv wp dlmv vkxl. Mos eyup yv bsxl yal ldswtb.” Dkd Ysx pxkzle.

“Zlyb, usw vbkdj Ysx yde Pye nyd’v clya vs ryav okvb usw?” Dkd Pye fsjle. “Rv’p yddsukdt! Qlvvkdt wr kd vbl xkeezl sq vbl dktbv vs pokx yde ekpvwac xu pzllr, xyjkdt xl pzllr cyezu!”

Dkd Pye fwpv jlrv cakdtkdt kv wr, kdpvydvzu qallgkdt vbl yvxsprblal. Dkd Hbkbwyd’p qynl vwadle yojoyae, obkzl Wlkqlk’p nblljp czwpble, lxcyaaypplezu yhskekdt lul nsdvynv.

Wsavwdyvlzu, Dkd Pye sdzu vbswtbv bkp psd’p dktbv pokxxkdt oyp ekpvwackdt, wdyoyal vbyv vbl vos uswdt rlsrzl yzxspv ktdkvle y pryaj kd vbl rssz. Xvblaokpl, pbl oswze byhl clld lhld xsal lxcyaaypple, rynjkdt wr lyazu kd vbl xsadkdt yde pzkrrkdt cynj vs Mykrlk.

“Dad, do you have to criticize your son like this?” Xin Zhihuan noticed Feifei’s abnormal expression and quickly raised his voice. “Since I came back home, you’ve hardly said a nice word to me! Is someone ‘tormenting’ their own son like this?”

“Torment? You’re saying Dad is tormenting you? Why don’t you talk about how many times this brat has offended me? Every time he makes me so angry I could die! If I have a heart attack one day, it’ll be all his fault!”

“How could you have a heart attack? Didn’t you just have a health checkup? Don’t mention a heart attack, you don’t even have common old people’s ailments like hypertension, gout, or arthritis. Your health is as robust as a bull’s. I think there’s a saying that’s really right.”

“What saying?”

“Good people don’t live long, and misfortune lasts for thousands of years.”

“What? You little brat dare to insinuate that your own dad is a misfortune? You brat! Despicable, see how I’ll teach you!”

The father and son joked around, finally shifting the focus away. But Xin Zhihuan knew very well that the matter had not been resolved, and the knot between him and Feifei still existed.

An hour later, he drove her back to Taipei. As soon as she got in the car, she said she was tired and wanted to sleep, closing her eyes. He knew she might not really want to sleep, just didn’t want to talk to him.

If she didn’t want to talk, then so be it.

He was also annoyed, suppressing his frustration, driving silently, turning on the radio, listening to the broadcast. The host was introducing popular songs from the 1990s, recommending the Swedish national treasure band “Ace of Base.”

Hearing this band’s name, Xin Zhihuan was startled, involuntarily glancing at Feifei sitting beside him. He remembered talking to her about this band before, he liked their songs, especially the fast-paced ones.

How did she respond at the time?

Right, she said she never listened to English songs because her English wasn’t good, but he enthusiastically encouraged her, telling her that listening to songs was actually a great way to learn a language, that’s how he motivated himself during his high school days.

Before playing the song, the host told a story about an old movie, “Déjà Vu,” and Xin Zhihuan guessed which song she was going to play.

Sure enough, the music started, it was that song, “My Déjà Vu.”

My déjà vu, everything is up to you…

As the lead singer cheerfully sang, Xin Zhihuan keenly noticed Feifei tremble slightly.

Had she remembered too? This song was the one he had explained to her back then. She had timidly asked him, holding the lyrics book, what the title of the song meant? Why couldn’t she find it in the English dictionary?

He told her that actually the word wasn’t English, it was French, and the so-called “déjà vu” referred to a feeling of having already experienced the present situation, a sense of familiarity.

“What does ‘My déjà vu’ mean?” she asked. “My ‘sense of déjà vu’?”

“Think about it. If you meet someone for the first time but feel like you’ve seen them before, what does that mean?” he tried to guide her.

She thought about it and then shook her head, still confused.

“Doesn’t it feel like there’s a sense of destiny at play?”

“Are you saying… like a soulmate?” she finally understood.

“Yes, that’s roughly what it means.”

“Soulmate.” She accepted his explanation, mulling over the term, then put her headphones back on and quietly sang along, line by line, with the seriousness of a student studying in class.

To this day, he vividly remembers that moment, that instant, when he felt an urge to hug her.

So pure, so cute, so quiet and shy, yet so determined and motivated—he remembers wanting so badly to protect her. If she were a fragile flower, he would become the greenhouse nurturing her.

But she was never a fragile flower; she was a resilient wild rose, accustomed to growing in adversity.

So how had she grown over the past six years? He found himself wanting to ask her how she dealt with each challenging day and each lonely night. It couldn’t have been smooth sailing all the way, right? He believed she must have had many unhappy times. How did she get through them?

My déjà vu, everything is up to you, if you do want me you know where to search…

As the singer reached the final climax, he couldn’t help but hum along.

My déjà vu, everything is up to you, if you want me, you know where to find me.

He hummed the song, his emotions a tangled mix of melancholy and complexity, not noticing the single transparent tear quietly sliding from the corner of her eye, which she quickly wiped away before the sunlight could catch it.

The car wound along the coastline, and a few hours later, they arrived in Taipei.

Once she was sure they were in the city, Qi Feifei opened her eyes, pretending to wake from sleep. “Just drop me off at the restaurant.”

He glanced at her. “You’re going to the restaurant? Not home first?”

“No, I have a lot to do.”

What a lot to do? Just an excuse to avoid facing him, right?

Xin Zhihuan thought irritably but didn’t argue with her. Silently, he drove her to her destination and insisted on getting out first to open the car door for her, maintaining his gentlemanly manners.

“Thank you for driving me back. That’s it, you go take care of your business. Goodbye.” With that, she hurried into the restaurant, not giving him another look.

He squinted at her hurried retreating figure, his lips curling into a cold smile.

So eager to run away? She should know that escaping now doesn’t mean escaping forever.

“Qi Feifei, you’ll have to face me sooner or later.”

He murmured coldly, getting back into the car, slamming the door shut, and speeding off like a whirlwind.

_________

My head hurts.

Only after entering the restaurant office did Qi Feifei allow herself to collapse onto the sofa, relaxing her constantly tense nerves.

But while her mind eased a little, the headache persisted. Plus, her throat was sore; she suspected she might be coming down with a fever.

Last night, after soaking in the pool, she forgot to dry her hair due to her restless thoughts, which might have caused this cold.

Holding her heavy forehead, she dialed the internal line, asking the restaurant staff to bring her a pot of herbal tea.

Five minutes later, the tea arrived, delivered personally by the restaurant manager, who also reported, “Boss, Mr. Fang came to the restaurant yesterday.”

She was taken aback. “You mean Jiajun?”

“Yes.”

“What did he come for?”

“Not much, he came with a female companion, but I could tell he seemed to be looking for you. He kept glancing around during the meal and even subtly asked our staff if you were in.”

“Really?”

Qi Feifei frowned, sipping the headache-relieving herbal tea while mulling over the news.

Jiajun bringing a new girlfriend to the restaurant—was he trying to show off? No, she didn’t think he was just showing off. He probably wanted to make her jealous.

So, does this mean Jiajun wants to make peace with her?

“He left a message when he left,” the manager continued.

“What did he say?”

“He said he would be bringing clients tonight and asked us to reserve a table for him.”

Which means—

“I think Mr. Fang is hoping to see you tonight, boss,” the manager pointed out the only possible reason.

She thought so too.

Jiajun’s message was a hint that if she was still interested in continuing their relationship, she should wait for him at the restaurant tonight. Otherwise, they might end things for good.

“I understand. You can go now,” Qi Feifei waved the employee away, holding her tea cup as she walked to the window, sitting on the sill and quietly contemplating.

Tonight, if Jiajun really came, it would be time for her to make a decision.

Should she continue seeing him? Moving forward with him would mean that, in the near future, she would have to marry him. Was she mentally prepared for remarriage?

Just last night, she was trembling in Zhihuan’s arms. How could she throw herself into another relationship like this?

Could she do it?

Thinking of this, Qi Feifei sighed softly, looking out the window, unconsciously humming a song.

“My déjà vu, everything is up to you, if you do want me you know where to search…”

Why introduce that band? Why play this particular song?

Why remind her, at a time when her heart was wavering, of the sweet and warm newlywed life she had with that man?

Even though they didn’t marry out of love, back then, she truly believed that the happiness god, who had never visited her, had finally knocked on her door.

She thought that after growing up in a harsh environment, she had finally found a warm place to stay, a happy safe haven…

She was wrong.

A woman’s happiness cannot ultimately rely on any man. The ultimate test of living in this world is learning to be strong in solitude.

At any moment, one must not entrust their heart to others. That is the beginning of weakness and the beginning of getting hurt.

And she was truly terrified of getting hurt again. She wasn’t a strong swimmer; she couldn’t drown again because no one would save her.

Qi Feifei suddenly stopped humming, tears silently falling from the corners of her eyes. She extended a finger and wrote on the window.

My déjà vu, My déjà vu…

She wrote it over and over again, vaguely recalling the bits and pieces of the past six years. Finally, she told herself, sorrowfully yet resolutely—

“No one will save you, understand? Qi Feifei, you only have yourself.”

---

Translator’s corner: Raise your hand, if you also searched up/played the song after reading this 🙋🏻‍♀️