Extra IV: Retainer

At a dark and damp corner.

“Grandpa Si Lang*, what are you writing?”

*Si means “four” in Chinese. Lang means “son” in Chinese. Si Lang must be some junior relative of Da Lang, Er Lang, and San Lang. 

“Oh, it’s Little Wu Lang*? Grandpa is writing down our family history…”

*Wu means “five” in Chinese. 

“Family history?”

“Yes, family history. It records the ups and downs of our family; the thick and thin… I think the House of Zhang* was originally prosperous, but I didn’t expect a tragedy had happened overnight. Fortunately, I eloped with my lover and escaped such a catastrophe. When I heard about it and went back, there was nothing left. After a long, arduous, and agonizing hard work, I finally found the remains of San Lang and the others in the trash by the roadside. Sadly, their bodies had been eaten by ants, leaving only pieces of them…..”

*c*ckroach in Chinese is pronounced as “Zhang Lang”, so in this work, the c*ckroaches’ last name is Zhang (which is also a common family name in China). 

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“Fs… ps rkvkqwz…” Nkvvzl Ew Nydt vssj swv y bydejlanbklq yde okrle yoyu bkp vlyap.

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Mbld, Qaydery Fk Nydt cltyd vlzzkdt bkp taydepsd vbl pvsau sq vbyv ulya…

Gqvla zkpvldkdt vs bkp taydery’p lmwclaydv pvsauvlzzkdt, Nkvvzl Ew Nydt’p bydejlanbklq oyp psyjle okvb bkp vlyap. “Qaydery, ds osdela usw byhl plv ps xydu bswpl awzlp: El yal dsv yzzsole vs ts swv clqsal xkedktbv, dsv yzzsole vs vswnb vbl vbkdtp kd svbla rlsrzl’p nwrcsyaep, yde ol xwpv ts bsxl yv eyod…”

“Rv’p tsse vbyv usw nyd wdelapvyde xl…” Fk Nydt qlzv alzklhle yde ryvvle Nkvvzl Ew Nydt’p blye.&dcpr;

Wlo eyup yqvla.

Ebld Nkvvzl Ew Nydt zspv bkp oyu obkzl oydelakdt yaswde, bl pxlzzle y pyhsau pnldv vbyv bl bye dlhla pxlzzle clqsal. Wszzsokdt vbl pnldv, bl pyo y ayu sq zktbv. Mbl rzynl vwadle swv vs cl vbl jkvnbld?!

“Isdt Isdt, vbl takzzle nbknjld okdtp yal esdl. Mblu yal elzknkswp! Ps usw oydv sdl?”

“Great!”

Grilled chicken wings?!

Little Wu Lang watched as Kong Kong happily ate his meal. His saliva was dripping all over the place. He had only eaten garbage at the roadside and had never set foot in the Human realm. He didn’t know what grilled chicken wings tasted like.

“Kong Kong, where’s the soda?”

“Huh?…I– I drank it…”

Cang Qiong smiled softly while touching Kong Kong’s head, “It’s okay. I’ll go downstairs to buy another bottle.”

“I want to go with you!”

“Okay, wash your hands and wipe your mouth clean. You look greasy.”

Kong Kong jumped up mischievously and kissed Cang Qiong, rubbing the grease on his mouth onto Cang Qiong’s face.

“You dead ghost!”

“Hahaha……”

“They are so happy… These two people look beautiful and gentle…” Little Wu Lang watched the two walk out hand in hand and then turned his attention to the grilled chicken wings.

The seductive scent has been drifting around for a long time, filling every corner of the kitchen. Little Wu Lang finally took his first step away from the darkness and into the light.

Smelled so delicious……

“Ah! Qiong Qiong! There are still c*ckroaches in our house!”

Hearing a scream of excitement, Little Wu Lang realized that the owners of the house were back!

However, it was too late. It was impossible to escape Cang Qiong’s glaring gaze. Little Wu Lang looked up at them and didn’t know what to say. Cang Qiong’s face was filled with disgust. How could someone who was so gentle just now become so murderous all of a sudden?

At this time, “My lord! Please pardon my little grandson! He is still young and ignorant. If he had offended you, just let me take the blame for it!”

“Grandpa Si Lang?!” Little Wu Lang was surprised to see his grandfather as he watched him desperately flap his wings toward them. Si Lang then blocked Little Wu Lang from the two men. Although Si Lang’s six limbs and two beards were trembling, Little Wu Lang was touched by the overwhelming familial affection he was receiving.

“There are still flying c*ckroaches?!” Cang Qiong frowned at Si Lang who flew toward them and took out a spell.

(Writer’s note: c*ckroaches belong to the species Blattata; incomplete metamorphosis, they have no ability to fly in the nymph stage. The “flying c*ckroach” referred to by Cang Qiong refers to adult c*ckroaches with good flying ability.)

“My lord! If you want to kill him, please kill me instead! I am the one who made the mistake, so let me bear it alone; besides, there is only one grandpa, Little Wu Lang is just one of my many grandchildren, so it is not worth it for you to kill!”  

Little Wu Lang suddenly asked his grandpa, “Grandpa , can he understand what we are saying?”

LOL…

“Both of you must die…” Cang Qiong pronounced their death sentence without mercy.

“So you can understand? Then…then… Can you let me finish that drop of oil? You know, becoming a starving ghost is very painful…”

Starving ghost? This reminded Cang Qiong of the time when Kong Kong even ate c*ckroaches…

“Did you touch my chicken wings?”

“No, my lord!” Little Wu Lang immediately raised his three right limbs. “I swear to God! The fourth rule of the Zhang family: Do not touch the food in the bowl. I have always strictly abided by the family rules and my duty. But… just …I’ve never had grilled chicken wings… It–it smells so delicious…”

These words made Cang Qiong thought of Kong Kong. His angry face slightly eased.

Little Wu Lang continued: “I saw the lord next to you, eating grilled chicken wings, as if he was the happiest person. I thought that those chicken wings must be delicious! Then I found a drop of oil on the table. I thought that It wouldn’t matter if I just lick the oil…but……Wuuuuwuwuw… I did not know that such consequences would occur.”

“Qong, forget it. In this world, there are c*ckroaches in every corner. Even if you kill the one in front of you, other c*ckroaches will move in. They don’t need to pay rent, and they can come and go freely.” Kong Kong was moved by the affection between grandfather and grandson. He didn’t have any disgust for c*ckroaches. During those years of waiting alone, he even caught a few flies to chat with him…

“Yes, yes! We have always been very careful! After this time, we will be strictly disciplined when we go back. This child – Little Wu Lang – has a bad sense of direction. He got lost and broke into the forbidden area of you lords. Please forgive us and let us go back! From now on – if you want to make use of us – we will go through fire and water for you!”

“And where do you think you can be useful?” Cang Qiong began to think about how to use the c*ckroaches in some way.

Kong Kong glanced at Cang Qiong and knew that Cang Qiong was coming up with some bad ideas…

At one o’clock on Friday afternoon, Kong Kong walked in the campus of Meige University. He sat quietly on the edge of the flower bed with a backpack on his back and gazed in a certain direction. Naturally, he had a few lollipops in his hands. His little pink tongue licked the lollipop. It was unbearably cute!

Cang Qiong looked at his watch and complained inwardly that this guy (Kong Kong) always arrived an hour ahead before class had ended! How could he pay attention to the class when he sat beside the window?!

Sure enough, within five minutes…

“Wow——! So cute! This younger brother, are you here to wait for your older brother to finish class again?”

“Younger brother, let this sister buy you chocolates this time!”

“Younger brother, the clothes you wear today are so cute. Did your brother buy them for you again?”

“…”

“…”

“Snort! What younger brother?! He is obviously a 30-year-old old man!” Cang Qiong thought.

Cang Qiong grumpily stared out of the window. Kong Kong didn’t care about anything when he saw food. The girls could freely touch his head and pinch his cheeks. He lied that he was here to wait for his older brother to finish class! He also said he was a senior in high school! Ridiculous!

But… today…

“Ah—! c*ckroaches——!”

Cang Qiong was very satisfied to hear a scream that exceeded 100 decibels. The eerie smile on Cang Qiong’s caused the teacher to break into a cold sweat.

“Why… why are there c*ckroaches?”

The girls retreated one meter away from Kong Kong, watching in horror as the arrogant c*ckroach did a dozen push-ups on Kong Kong’s shoulder. And then the c*ckroach climbed into Kong Kong’s backpack. (In fact, the c*ckroach was furiously saying: “You gals! Stay away from my master! If you dare to pinch him again, I will bite you to death!)

“Younger brother, a c*ckroach crawled into your bag! Get rid of it!”

“Oh, you mean Little Wu Lang? He was raised by my family.” Kong Kong spread his palms and let Wu Lang climb up, wanting to introduce him to the older sisters. However, these sisters’ faces turned blue and white, and walked back a few meters……

“Is it a pet?” A bolder girl asked.

“No, it’s a retainer.” Kong Kong pointed to Wu Lang’s back and said, “There is a family mark on it!”

All the girls fainted.

Kong Kong opened a pack of beef jerky and gave a small piece to Little Wu Lang, who happily accepted it.

Kong Kong said to Little Wu Lang: “c*ckroaches grow so fast…”

One girl couldn’t stand it, “c*ckroaches are dirty! They will make you sick, younger brother!”

“No,” Kong Kong replied, “Qiong Qiong prepares disinfectant for them to bathe with every day…”

“They?” Could it be…

Sure enough, several c*ckroaches crawled out from the backpack, grinning wildly at the girls… Finally, Kong Kong was the only one left by the flower bed, licking the lollipop until Cang Qiong finished class. The two returned home hand in hand…