Chapter 37.1: You even have a reaction when I call you “brother.”

Shen Juan sat in the stands holding He Songnan’s mobile phone and staring at the black screen, feeling a little dazed.

After he finished lunch with Lin Yujing and the others, instead of going back to the sports area he went to the North Building to find He Songnan.

The third-year students didn’t participate in the sports meet. While the first- and second-year students were bustling on the sports field, the third-years sat in rueful silence doing exams in the North Building.

As lonesome as snow.

Other people’s fun and games are other people’s fun and games, and have nothing to do with me. 

He Songnan was bitter. He found that with all kinds of test papers to do every day, the only joys he had during his miserable third year of high school were eating with his friends during lunch breaks and a physical education class every two weeks.

As it turns out, his friends didn’t have lunch with him as often these days.

He had sacrificed himself, preferring to suffer and protect his friend’s advances toward the girl over later letting him lose the deskmate that moves his heart.

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Fsxl q*njkdt qaklde!! Tl Fsdtdyd oyp ps ydtau.

Mbwp obld Fbld Kwyd nyxl vs qkde bkx ewakdt vbl qkapv nzypp sq vbl yqvladssd, bkp zsdt-yoykvle rbupknyz lewnyvksd nzypp, Tl Fsdtdyd kxxlekyvlzu nbsrrle bkp blye sqq.

“Fbld Kwyd, obyv vbl q*nj jkde sq qaklde yal usw!” Tl Fsdtdyd pvsse dlmv vs vbl czynjcsyae yde rskdvle bkp qkdtla. “Wsa uswa pyjl, dso lhlau eyu rlsrzl nsxl qasx yzz yaswde vs oyvnb xl vbaswtb xu nzyppassx essa. R vssj yzz vbyv sd, yde dso usw esd’v lhld lyv zwdnb okvb xl? Ps usw jdso bso xydu eyup kv’p clld pkdnl usw’hl nsxl vs pll xl?”

Fbld Kwyd pyv kxryvkldvzu sd bkp elpj, alpvkdt bkp qllv sd vbl cynj sq vbl nbyka . “Gal usw y zkvvzl tkaz? Ps R byhl vs lyv y xlyz okvb usw 20 eyup y xsdvb?”

Tl Fsdtdyd pdknjlale, “Ls dlle, usw sdzu byhl 20 nzypplp y xsdvb, zkvvzl pvweldv.”

Fbld Kwyd zlv swv y “vpj.”

Tl Fsdtdyd dsvknle bkp olkae xsse yde vssj y nswrzl pvlrp. “Ebyv’p oasdt? Ebs xlpple okvb usw, Yypvla Kwyd?”

Fbld Kwyd rwv vbl rbsdl sd vbl elpj okvb y “pdyr.” “R’x ypjkdt usw y iwlpvksd.”

He Songnan said respectfully, “Ask away.”

Shen Juan said, “Why don’t you fall in love with your childhood friend?”

“Because I don’t f*cking have a childhood friend,” He Songnan said.

 Shen Juan stared at him blankly for three seconds and went on, “Then imagine you have one.”

He Songnan asked, “What does she look like?”

Shen Juan, after a heavy pause, reluctantly spit out two words, “Very good.”

He Songnan said, “Then I will f*cking definitely fall in love with her.”

Shen Juan: “…”

The boss gave another “tsk”, clearly dissatisfied with the answer.

“Then I won’t date her,” He Songnan quickly corrected himself. “I’m just a high school student, I gotta study hard! What f*cking love are we talking about? What f*cking love between genders? I, I won’t like anyone.”

Shen Juan didn’t speak this time, but the air pressure only seemed to fall.

He Songnan helplessly slammed his phone down on the desk. “Brother, what answer do you want to hear in the end? Tell me and I’ll say it.”

In the end, Shen Juan had no idea what answer he wanted to hear.

He Songnan usually seemed like a love expert versed in many different ways to pick up girls, talking strategy with Jiang Han every day, but now Shen Juan thought he looked like an idiot.

Boss Shen had never been enmeshed in such confusion, and a pop-up screen in his head began to wildly scroll past——

What if my deskmate has two very attractive childhood sweethearts [1]?

Will my deskmate fall in love with one of her two very attractive childhood sweethearts?

Is it because my deskmate’s childhood friends’ level of physical attractiveness is too high, so now she looks down on other men?

And anyway what the f*ck do these things have to do with him?

Shen Juan thought again about the comments he’d overheard.

Who does my deskmate think is more handsome, Lu Jiaheng or Shen Juan?

… …

Shen Juan’s temples throbbed in pain; he felt a migraine coming on.

The bell rang, and the phys ed class was over. He sighed, kicking his long legs. He hopped off the desk, fumbling around for his phone, and walked towards the sports field.

Back in the bleachers with Class 10, Lin Yujing chatted with Cheng Yi. She was very focused, her head propped in her hands and tilted toward him, oblivious to the movement around her.

It was Cheng Yi who noticed him first. The two exchanged a look, and Cheng Yi suddenly turned to Lin Yujing. “If Shen Juan dates a girl one day, and you have to keep your distance from the only friend you have in this place, will you feel unhappy?”

Shen Juan stopped in his tracks.

“Why would I be unhappy? I’ll jump for joy and buy him two more strings of 500 firecrackers to celebrate.” Lin Yujing said.

Shen Juan: “…”

Ah.

Shen Juan laughed angrily.

He landed on the seemingly ambiguous looks worn by Lu Jiaheng and Cheng Yi. He sat down and pulled out his phone impassively, as if he’d heard nothing.

He tapped the home button just as Lin Yujing turned her head.

The image of a voluptuous, big-breasted girl with an empty six-digit password field came up, and Shen Juan was momentarily at a loss.

Since when did he have this wallpaper?

He froze for half a second, then quickly reacted.

This is f*cking He Songnan’s phone.

The two of them had the same model, and neither liked to use protective cases. The phones looked exactly the same next to each other with the screen off and he hadn’t been paying attention when he left.

Lin Yujing was now staring at him intently.

What the hell is the password to He Songnan’s broken f*cking phone?

Lin Yujing watched as Shen Juan stared at the six-digit password screen and tightened the corners of his mouth. With a serious expression he arbitrarily tapped the screen a few times with his fingertips, completely ignoring her.

Fortunately, Lin Yujing quickly left to talk to the sports committee representative about her events and then accompanied Wen Zihui to registration. Shen Juan eyelids drooped, and he locked the screen and headed for the north building.

The campus was completely silent. He Songnan’s class was in session at the moment, so he had to wait for it to end before finding him to exchange phones.

Shen Juan put his hands in his pockets and slowly walked along the basketball court.

He recalled meeting Lin Yujing for the first time before the start of school, and considered everything that had happened between them since.

Shen Juan had never been in a relationship before, but he wasn’t an idiot. His attention and care for Lin Yujing did seem a bit much.

In the beginning it was just because she was trying her best to restrain the thorns all over her body, but she was still dazzling. She was so obviously sad that she looked like she would collapse to the ground any second, but she would still pretend that nothing happened. The contradictions made him feel like she was interesting.

Then why after that did he still find her really very interesting?

It wasn’t enough to explain the kind of anxious irritability he needed to suppress when faced with her male friends.

Furthermore, why did he have such an inexplicable reaction when she called him “brother [2]?”

Before he took his leave of absence, Shen Juan was pursued by all kinds of girls. Many were childish, but aside from the hassle he didn’t have any feelings for them.

Lin Yujing was different, but what the difference was, he couldn’t tell.

Maybe he actually felt it a long time ago—the reason for that strange possessive desire. He didn’t really want to admit it though.

Why not?

It was because he wasn’t in her thoughts.

Her every move, her every word and deed, all sent the same message: She didn’t have any messy thoughts about him. She simply trusted him, and she treated him as a friend.

I take you as my deskmate, and I still want to be good friends with you, but your mind is full of nonsense. You even have a reaction when I call you “brother.”

It was so f*cking scary.

Shen Juan walked to the door of the North Building, leaned against the pillar, and sighed.

—

[1] 青梅竹马 – lit. “green plum and bamboo horse” – close childhood friends who grow up to fall in love and become a couple. It’s from a story about two kids who live on the same street: The boy is outside playing with a bamboo pole, pretending it’s a horse, and the girl comes out and sees a bunch of green plums in a tree and asks him to pick some. He does and they live happily ever after. Shen Juan has really misunderstood the kind of relationship Lin Yujing had with them.

[2] He is not actually her brother (specifically “older brother,” or “gege” in Chinese) and I’m sure he would feel much more inexplicable about it if she tried to imply as much. “Brother” is often used toward an older (up to a point, after which it becomes “uncle”) male with whom the speaker is affectionate, and it’s a common way to call one’s boyfriend.

Edited By: ceres