Chapter 25

Christmas fell on a weekend that year. There were crowds everywhere Lin Xigu looked as he headed out on Christmas Day. He and She Xiao boarded the bus that would take them out of the city and found seats near the back. She Xiao took the window seat, his demeanour calm and quiet. Lin Xigu took out a yogurt from his bag and handed it to She Xiao, whispering, “For you.”

She Xiao took the yogurt and clutched it in his hand but did not drink it, continuing to look out the bus window.

The heat was on full blast in the bus, almost uncomfortably warm, but the window was draughty, so the window seat was not as accommodating. It was too hot to be wearing a jacket but too cold for a bare shoulder without one. 

“Can we switch seats?” Lin Xigu asked.

She Xiao looked at him. “Why?”

“No reason,” Lin Xigu smiled. “I just kind of want to sit on the inside.”

She Xiao shook his head. “We’re almost there.”

Lin Xigu didn’t insist. He removed his jacket and tucked it in between She Xiao and the glass. “That should help block the wind. Take your jacket off; it’s too hot.”

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A wave of embarrassment washed over him as soon as the words left his mouth. He had been increasingly careless about the boundaries of their relationship lately. What he had just said definitely sounded like he was flirting with him! He averted his gaze from She Xiao’s face. Unexpectedly, his comment made She Xiao laugh.

She Xiao spent more time looking at him after that. It was Lin Xigu’s turn to be nervous now. The way he held She Xiao’s wrist seemed awkward and his palm was starting to overheat, but he was still reluctant to let go. 

“Let me show you the penguins,” Lin Xigu mumbled, still looking down.

“Okay,” She Xiao agreed.

There was a Frozen Worlds exhibit where polar bears lazed about with their bellies to the sun. He had hoped the animals would help to soothe She Xiao’s nerves but he instantly regretted his decision as soon as they stepped through the doors.

There were too many people inside, and there were a lot of children especially. 

Lin Xigu frowned, “Why don’t we come back in the afternoon? There’ll be fewer people then.”

She Xiao shook his head. “I’m okay.”

Walking through the zoo, Lin Xigu stole occasional glances at She Xiao’s face. She Xiao really did seem more relaxed. His eyes were warm. Lin Xigu relaxed too, guiding She Xiao through the crowd with his hand on his wrist.

She Xiao jerked his arm. Lin Xigu let go. 

He was still disappointed about the sudden emptiness in his hand when he felt She Xiao’s cold fingers envelope his own.

He looked down instinctively to see their hands linked together. She Xiao was holding his hand.

Ahhh! He was holding his hand! They were holding hands!

Lin Xigu’s footsteps missed a beat. He had almost forgotten how to move his legs. His fingers twitched and She Xiao squeezed his hand tighter. 

Damn it, who even cared about seeing the animals anymore? The most pressing question now was ‘who would protect She Xiao if he passed out?’

And how was She Xiao able to stay so calm about everything?

Maybe he really didn’t have any ulterior motives and had simply thought this would make it easier to walk around?

Lin Xigu released the breath he had been holding in. Never mind, there’s no use in overthinking it for now.

He gently held She Xiao’s hand in turn. The two of them walked around holding hands for a long time until they had reached the exit where Lin Xigu at last pulled away reluctantly, stuffing his sweaty hands back in his pockets.

It had been cramped inside the zoo with throngs of people milling about. No one had paid them any attention. However, Lin Xigu was worried that holding hands in public would be too conspicuous now that they were heading out into an open area. He didn’t mind, but he knew it might make She Xiao uncomfortable if others stared.

Two children came hurtling towards them, on the verge of colliding with She Xiao. Lin Xigu quickly crouched down and intercepted them, kindly reminding them, “Be careful now – watch where you’re going.”

The children glanced at him, pouting, and ran off.

She Xiao had paid for both of their admissions and the bus tickets so Lin Xigu finally had an excuse to treat him to lunch. He had originally thought about purchasing their admissions online ahead of time, but had later decided against it.

He got the impression that She Xiao did not like to owe anyone anything.

That being said, Lin Xigu no longer considered himself to be just “anyone” to She Xiao. Thinking this, Lin Xigu perked up, feeling as though his constant companionship over the past six months had made a noticeable impact.

After all, they had just walked around the zoo holding hands…

---

Lin Xigu was responding to a text from Li Balei who had just invited him on a trip to the bookstore. He replied:

I definitely won’t be able to make it today. Maybe tomorrow? I’m out skiing with She Xiao. 

Li Balei’s reply was instantaneous.

What???? You and She Xiao???

Lin Xigu smiled as he typed.

That’s right. What about it?

Li Balei’s anger was palpable through the screen.

You didn’t invite me!!!

She Xiao was eating. He glanced at Lin Xigu who was still looking down at his phone and added a spare rib to his bowl.

Lin Xigu didn’t notice as he continued typing. 

It’s not that I didn’t want to. I thought you wouldn’t want to hang out with She Xiao and that you’d say no even if I did invite you. 

Li Balei:

That’s it, our friendship is officially over!!! I’ll see you at your wedding!!! Goodbye forever!

She Xiao added some more food to Lin Xigu’s bowl. Lin Xigu caught him this time before he could move his chopsticks out of the way.

The smile he had worn while texting had not completely faded and it stayed on his face as he beamed at She Xiao. “Thank you!”

She Xiao’s expression was mild, and he didn’t respond.

“That was Li Balei asking if I wanted to go with her to the bookstore,” Lin Xigu blabbed, trying to make conversation. “I told her we were out skiing.”

She Xiao didn’t look at him, and simply said, “Mn.”

Lin Xigu copied She Xiao, picking up some of each dish and carefully placing it into his bowl.

Watching She Xiao wield his chopsticks, he couldn’t help but remember how his hand had felt holding his. Lin Xigu quickly shovelled more food into his mouth, not daring to overthink.

---

Although Lin Xigu appeared to be well-behaved, he was still a kid at heart. He was instantly sucked into the fun of his favourite outdoor activity and his excitement only increased once they began to suit up for the slopes. 

“She Xiao!” Lin Xigu already had his ski gear on. He waddled around She Xiao a few times. “Let’s start with the beginner slope. I suck at skiing. Do you know how to ski?”

“No,” She Xiao said. “It’s my first time.”

“Then let’s come more often in the future. Just you wait, I’m definitely going to fall. My balance is terrible. Don’t laugh at me if I do fall.” Lin Xigu thought for a moment, then added, “Never mind, laugh all you want. I’ll probably be laughing at myself too.” 

She Xiao smiled faintly. “Okay.”

Lin Xigu looked at She Xiao’s perfect profile and the lift of his chin, thinking I won’t be able to laugh if you fall; I’ll be too busy worrying. 

And if you do fall, please don’t fall on your face. It would be a crying shame to bruise a face like that.

Balance seemed to be an innate talent. After receiving basic instruction from Lin Xigu, She Xiao pushed off and glided steadily down the slope, looking extremely cool and poised. Lin Xigu sighed, trailing behind him. Were geniuses so quick to learn just about anything?

He fell and slid to a stop on his butt and thighs. By the time Lin Xigu got to his feet and patted the snow off his clothes, She Xiao was already a speck in the distance.

A young woman glided over and lent him a hand. She helped retrieve his poles and handed them back to him, asking, “Are you okay?”

Lin Xigu smiled and shook his head. “I’m fine, thanks.”

The woman waved and left him there. Lin Xigu leisurely skied on to catch up to She Xiao. They were on a gentle slope where the gradient was negligible. However, there were certain intervals where the slope was steeper, which made it easier to fall.

She Xiao was waiting for him further ahead and dusted the snow from his back when he caught up. “Are you hurt… at all?” She Xiao asked.

“No! It’s fun to fall once in a while.” Lin Xigu laughed and skied ahead, looking over his shoulder at She Xiao, “Don’t worry about me. I’m used to falling.”

After that, She Xiao alternated between skiing and stopping to wait for Lin Xigu, always pausing after every bump and mogul. For his part, Lin Xigu would get to his feet immediately after falling, laughing as he raced to catch up with She Xiao.

Lin Xigu was having the time of his life. He had loved playing in the snow ever since he was a child. When he was little, his dad used to toss him into snowdrifts, and Lin Xigu would sit there, laughing uncontrollably and rolling around in the snow. When he had grown older and his dad could no longer pick him up, he had still horsed around with Fang Zhiyuan and would playfight in the snow at every opportunity.

Lin Xigu thought he must have lived somewhere tropical in a previous life. There was no other explanation for why he would love snow as much as he did.

She Xiao was waiting for Lin Xigu at the bottom of yet another steep stretch. Lin Xigu’s balance wasn’t great to begin with, and he was inattentive while cresting the mogul. He fell again, hard, and for a moment, it seemed as though he was about to fall on his face. Due to the steepness in that part of the hill, he didn’t stop immediately when he fell. The momentum launched him further down the slope. He even rolled a few times.

She Xiao’s face twisted into a fierce scowl as he dashed forward and threw his poles aside, preparing to catch him. Lin Xigu came ploughing down with so much force that She Xiao couldn’t stop him and was instantly bowled over.

Lin Xigu’s head spun from the fall. His face hurt a lot, as did his butt, but he still wanted to laugh. Sitting up and rubbing his face, he chuckled.

His laughter faded as soon as he saw She Xiao lying on his back.

“She Xiao!” He flew over to check She Xiao’s face, concern flooding his face. “Did I hit you? Are you hurt?”

She Xiao lay on his back, looking up at him. He was still wearing his ski goggles, so Lin Xigu couldn’t make out his eyes. Lin Xigu patted him, tense with worry. “I can’t see your eyes. Are you okay? Crap, I’m so bad at this. I’m sorry. Did I hit your leg?”

She Xiao reached up and pulled off his goggles.

Lin Xigu’s heart calmed a little, and he immediately asked, “Are you hurt anywhere?”

The sunlight in that moment was gentle, slanting down on Lin Xigu. His back was turned to the light so She Xiao couldn’t see his face clearly, but he could see Lin Xigu engulfed in its halo, the winter sun making his entire person seem soft and beautiful.

Lin Xigu’s mouth never stopped moving as he repeatedly asked She Xiao if he was hurt. He had thrown off his own goggles, his eyes wide with urgency.

It seemed as though he would cry if She Xiao didn’t answer him.

She Xiao blinked, then reached up, pulling Lin Xigu’s head down and firmly kissed him on the lips.