Chapter 20

— Injured his hand. -100

208.

— She Xiao drank out of my bottle. How much should I add? 30? Not enough. But any more would skew the system. +50 then.

258.

Lin Xigu looked down at the scores, each row painstakingly written by hand. He flipped back to the beginning, recalling that back then, even an errant word or glance had been worth a point or two. It was a bittersweet memory now. Conversations had become a fact of life. He didn’t even bother adding points for She Xiao’s occasional smile anymore; there would be too many to count.

Well, they were close now, after all.

Lin Xigu relished the thought as he turned his head to look at She Xiao. The little red mole on his ear was as charming as always.

A day had passed since She Xiao drank from his bottle, but blushing was a symptom that did not seem to subside with time. He tried to avoid thinking about the incident because he would turn red every time he did.

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As Dong-laoshi spoke, his sweeping gaze momentarily settled on She Xiao. Lin Xigu swelled with pride. Top student, huh? Our She Xiao is not only the best student in the class, he makes us look good on the school leaderboard too. 

“If this happens again… excuse me? Who has the nerve to fall asleep in my class?” Their physics teacher snapped his chalk in two and weighed it in his hand. Finding his aim, he launched the chalk at the dozing Liang Qiming, the chalk finding his head with impressive accuracy.

Liang Qiming sat up in a daze. Their physics teacher pointed to the back door of the classroom and everyone turned to see Zhou Cheng’s face pressed up against the glass. When Zhou Cheng saw everyone looking his way, he looked bemused and pointed back at Dong-laoshi.

Their physics teacher chuckled. “All right, turn around now. He won’t be bothering us again. Who needs Zhou-laoshi when Dong-laoshi is right here?”

Zhou Cheng circled around to the front door and tapped on the window. “Dong Chao, just you wait. I’m going to call you out the next time you poke around my back door.”

Their physics teacher threw the rest of his chalk at him. “Zhou-laoshi, if I recall correctly, my homeroom class has math this period. Why are you fogging up the glass when you should be teaching?!”

The students cracked up at the banter between their two teachers. Lin Xigu stole a look at She Xiao while the rest of the class was distracted and saw him massaging his injured hand, frowning.

Lin Xigu quickly dropped his voice, “What’s wrong with your hand?”

She Xiao shook his head. “Nothing.”

After Zhou Cheng left, their physics teacher resumed his lecture. The class was always deathly quiet whenever he taught. Lin Xigu didn’t dare say another word.

He waited until they had been dismissed by the bell and the teacher had packed up and left. He then continued his line of questioning, “Does your hand hurt?”

She Xiao looked at him and nodded slowly. “Hurts. Feels numb.”

Lin Xigu was wracked with pity as he looked at the bandages still firmly wrapped around She Xiao’s hand. He could do nothing, could not help at all. He couldn’t hurt on She Xiao’s behalf.

Lin Xigu was crestfallen at his own helplessness. She Xiao was telling him that his hand was hurting and he didn’t even know what to say next. Anything that could be said was useless. 

Lin Xigu hung his head. “Let me massage your hand” — he wanted to say, but that would have been too forward. Then again, he didn’t actually have the guts to massage She Xiao’s hand with his own; he would have an even harder time falling asleep then.

She Xiao was studying him closely. Lin Xigu’s long lashes were downcast, making him seem disheartened. She Xiao reached out and lightly tapped on the back of his hand. Lin Xigu looked up at him and he lifted the corners of his lips slightly, revealing the faintest shadow of a smile.

Lin Xigu blinked. Oh my god, did She Xiao just smile at him in class?

Even though they were surrounded by people, She Xiao actually smiled?

Fireworks went off within Lin Xigu’s chest as he beamed at She Xiao in response, his eyes coming alive.

The two of them went home together for lunch as per their usual routine. Lin Xigu always placed She Xiao’s slippers by the entryway next to his own. He took pleasure in seeing She Xiao’s slippers every time he came home.

“Is your hand still hurting?” Lin Xigu asked.

She Xiao passed him a bowl using his good hand and shook his head. “No.”

“Any numbness or tingling?”

She Xiao shook his head again. “No.”

Lin Xigu relaxed slightly. “When’s your next checkup? When can you take off that thing on your hand?”

She Xiao looked down and examined his hand. “Two more weeks.”

“Mn,” Lin Xigu acknowledged and continued washing the dishes in comfortable silence. She Xiao sat down on the couch and became still as a statue. Lin Xigu finished the dishes and washed his hands, then hesitated briefly before walking over to him. Very quietly, he asked, “Can I come with you? When you go for your checkup?”

She Xiao looked up at him. His innate quietness made him seem especially sincere when he regarded people like this. He blinked. “Of course.”

Lin Xigu hid a smile as he took a seat next to She Xiao. Looking at She Xiao’s injured hand, he pointed to his bandages and asked, “Did you hurt your palm too?”

She Xiao didn’t answer.

Lin Xigu noted the time. He wanted to let She Xiao nap for a while but he was too embarrassed to ask She Xiao to rest in his bedroom.

Looking down, She Xiao undid the knot in the gauze with his right hand and unravelled it. Lin Xigu watched him intently as he unwound the bandages until the only thing left was the splint on his ring finger. Then he revealed his palm for Lin Xigu to see, his face vacant without any sign of emotion.

Lin Xigu noticed that some of the smaller wounds on She Xiao’s palm had already healed over. However, the skin was still red and swollen at the junction where his ring finger and pinky were connected, half-formed scabs still clinging to the surface. The visual effect was grotesque. Lin Xigu leaned in for a closer look. Sutures were challenging in that location, and the stitches were not as neat.

The wound made it look as though She Xiao’s pinky had been ripped off his hand. 

Lin Xigu shut his eyes tightly, his lashes quivering. He was too afraid to keep looking. He kept sniffing, as if that would be enough to keep his heartache at bay, but his nose soured anyway.

She Xiao retracted his hand, letting it fall unnaturally at his side. He raised an eyebrow at the sight of Lin Xigu squeezing his eyes shut. “Ugly?”

Lin Xigu shook his head. ”Breathtaking.”

”Scared?”

”Not scared.” Lin Xigu said hoarsely.

She Xiao lifted his hand and gently touched Lin Xigu’s trembling eyelashes.

Lin Xigu stiffened. He opened his eyes and looked at him. He could see something cautious and probing in She Xiao’s eyes.

“Why are you always injured?” Lin Xigu bit his lip with a frown. He asked again, “What’s going on with you?”

She Xiao held his gaze for a few seconds, then turned his head, breaking it.

”Do you not want to tell me?” Lin Xigu looked at She Xiao’s ring finger and pinky which were held apart stiffly, and was unable to keep his eyes from misting over. “She Xiao, you must be in so much pain.”

She Xiao kept his eyes on the coffee table without lifting his head.

For a long time afterward, Lin Xigu’s heart ached whenever he saw She Xiao’s left hand. Even the scar behind She Xiao’s ear, which he had once thought beautiful and kind of sexy, now only brought discomfort. Every wound on She Xiao’s body was an abomination.

But even one-handed, She Xiao’s school performance never suffered. On the midterm exams, his grades remained ever impressive. Lin Xigu regarded the rankings with unbridled pride, and only wished he could add all of She Xiao’s test scores to his own notepad.

How could anyone be so impressive?

Our She Xiao could rule you all with just one hand.

---

Lin Xigu’s dad attended his parent-teacher conference in person. It was his first time visiting the campus since Lin Xigu’s transfer, so it was a good opportunity for him to see his son’s school. Lin Xigu’s grades were promising, and Zhou Cheng didn’t hold back on praising him in front of his father.

He commended Lin Xigu for being hard-working and respectful and for having a great personality.

Lin Xigu loitered around the back door, monitoring the classroom until the conference ended. He did not see She Xiao’s mom among the parents. He still remembered what She Xiao’s mom looked like. Elegant and beautiful, She Xiao resembled her a lot.

He remembered the aftermath of the previous parent-teacher conference when he had seen She Xiao smoking against the bike rack near the back gates. She Xiao had looked despondent as he smoked, inhaling and exhaling clouds of smoke, outcast and alone.

He took out his phone. He really wanted to text She Xiao.

Lin Xigu had refrained from texting him ever since She Xiao injured his hand, primarily because he thought it might be inconvenient for him to type with one hand. Opening the messaging app, he typed and deleted his thoughts a few times before finally sending a message.

Where are you?

There was no response.

He waited a long time for a text that never came. Lin Xigu tucked his phone back in his pocket and took a deep breath of cold air. Winter was coming, or rather, it had already arrived.

Despite the chill in the air, Lin Xigu couldn’t help but feel warmth radiating from his chest whenever he thought about She Xiao and how their relationship had thawed over time.