100 Reasons to Kill My Husband

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01 First Love Must Die

As everyone knows, first love is an extremely pure matter. Even if one’s mouth is blocked, their eyes still have to say it. So, Yu Haiqiao’s first love was the kindergarten teacher who often gave him candy and biscuits back in kindergarten. It was a beautiful sister who would coax him to sleep during afternoon nap time and wouldn’t scold him for carelessly wetting the bed, instead even comforting him. Yu Haiqiao liked pretty girls, he liked the pretty girl who gave him the rabbit shaped fruit candy, extremely carefully liking the pretty sister to the point that each animal fruit candy he obtained, almost formed the 12 zodiac animals, which he planned to give to the beautiful sister to express his feelings.

In view of the fact that first love always dies, this law is very consistent with the law of development of things. The 12 zodiac animals that Yu Haiqiao painstakingly collected had been snatched by Shi Ran. Even if she snatched it and didn’t even eat it, enthusiastically giving it away to the other classmates of the kindergarten, in the end, the pretty sister married a rich guy and got pregnant, leaving the kindergarten far away. Just like this, Yu Haiqiao’s first love was declared dead.

On the other hand, Shi Ran’s first love was a little boy from the same class in second grade of elementary school. He was a boy who didn’t even know how to blow a bubblegum. His family ran a small snack shop beside the school and the shop carried a lot of bubblegum. The happiest time of Shi Ran’s life every day was going home together with him once school ended because she could eat many of the snacks she wanted to eat, moreover, she even taught the boy how to blow a bubblegum and felt that she was in love.

Of course, according to the principle of how things developed, Shi Ran’s happiness only lasted 3 days. On the fourth day, because she kept going home late after school ended, she was eventually caught red-handed by her parents and they pressed her head down, apologizing to the parents of the boy who owned the snack shop, even using the money she saved up, to pay them for the snacks she had been eating for free. On the fifth day, the little boy no longer paid her any attention, because Yu Haiqiao had told him that Shi Ran is a girl, and the little boy, who had always treated Shi Ran as a little brother, received a very big shock. Just like this, Shi Ran’s first love was declared dead.

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**

02 School romance isn’t always sweet

When Yu Haiqiao was together with Shi Ran in senior high most of the time, the people in their class would often see Shi Ran coming to class to find him and creating an uproar. Whenever he walked with Shi Ran, his friends would also see him make weird noses. Shi Ran loathed this extremely. He also didn’t know whether this stinky girl Shi Ran had gone crazy, labelling all the same-age guys who often made a ruckus everywhere as immature monkeys. Even though Yu Haiqiao never hollered, he was, unfortunately, included into this list by Shi Ran.

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Before Yu Qiaohai started dating, he would study earnestly and listen to class attentively from Monday to Saturday, occasionally lending his workbook to Shi Ran. After class, he would chatter idly with his classmates and during break time, he would play badminton with them. On the weekends, he would rest at home, read manga, play games, or even go somewhere with his classmates. He lived each day with much freedom.

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After Yu Haiqiao started dating, he did his homework together with his girlfriend, ate meals together with his girlfriend, took strolls with his girlfriend, and was together with his girlfriend day and night. Yu Haiqiao hadn’t dated before and it was only after dating that he realized that, as he expected, playing games was much more fun.

Before the college entrance exams, Yu Haiqiao’s girlfriend drew up their life plan for them–We’ll go to H city and attend H university. After that, we’ll go abroad, graduate and then get married.

His girlfriend’s desire to control was so strong that Yu Haiqiao faintly felt the pressure of his future life. After that, under this pressure, he suddenly started thinking about another insignificant problem–What about Shi Ran?

Shi Ran previously said that she was going to attend a local university. If he went to H city, he could only go back and meet her during Chinese New Year or other holidays. Once he had gone abroad, it would become even harder to meet her.

Yu Haiqiao worried over this insignificant problem for a whole 3 nights. This was one night more than the time he became worried about discovering that Shi Ran liked him.

On the fourth night, after he had finished late self-revision and sent his girlfriend home, he quickly went home and hesitated in front of Shi Ran’s home for two minutes. He was about to knock on the door when Shi Ran had just arrived home from late self-revision. Seeing him, she immediately frowned, “What are you standing outside my house for?”

Yu Haiqiao asked her, “Are you going to H City’s H University?”

Shi Ran rolled her eyes at him and waved her sleeve to open the door, leaving him alone outside.

Yu Haiqiao then had a flash of realization at that second——Shi Ran didn’t like him at all.

Rather, it was something completely ironic——it was him who liked Shi Ran.

After Yu Haiqiao realized his own feelings, he brought the matter of breaking up with his girlfriend zealously.

He didn’t expect that the other party would also be very calm when this matter was brought up. She replied “Got it”, Yu Haiqiao’s useless male pride flared at this moment. He felt that his appearance and height wasn’t bad and his character was good. He treated Chen Xie like a good boyfriend and it was hard to pick out any faults in him. Why was it that he had only gotten a “Got it” as a reply to their breakup? He felt sour, feeling that all the women in this world were possessed by the stinky Shi Ran. Otherwise, why wouldn’t they like him?!

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Afterwards, Chen Xie said, “Thank you for taking care of me during this period. I still quite like you. Your grades are good, you explain questions to me very clearly and thanks to you, my grades rose quite a bit during this period. Sigh, why do we have to break up, do you wanna reconsider it?”

Yu Haiqiao’s self-confidence took a big hit, feeling that he was merely used as a tool by the other party to raise their grades. He choked out the last bit of dignity he could muster and bade the other farewell.

Chen Xie even asked innocently——”Ai, why are you angry? You have such a terrible personality. Can you stop acting like that whenever things don’t go the way you wish? In any case, you also don’t like me and I’ve already accepted your request to break up. The results are good and you should have been very satisfied during the period of when I ignored you.”

In any case, school romance wasn’t anything, and the women at the foot of the mountain were all tigresses.

The pure and innocent nerd Yu Haiqiao thought.

**

03 Yu Haiqiao’s love philosophy

“If you like Shi Ran, I’m sorry, but she has too many shortcomings to count. The only suggestion I can give to you is not to like her.”

According to incomplete statistics, Yu Haiqiao had destroyed Shi Ran’s yet-to-bloom predestined marriage at least 12 times so far.

In kindergarten, when Shi Ran took his fruit candy and gave it to another boy, he had bawled so loudly the teacher came and she had failed in giving the candy away.

In elementary school, he told Shi Ran’s parents that Shi Ran would often go to another classmate’s home and eat without paying, making it so that Shi Ran had less opportunities to get into contact with the other person and had failed to deepen their feelings.

In junior high, a good-for-nothing from outside of school asked him which class the tall girl he went home with was from. Yu Haiqiao coldly told the other person, “Her mom is the teacher-in-charge for our class.” Shi Ran’s unusual love was destroyed before it could even bloom.

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A classmate of hers told him that he liked Shi Ran and he waved his hand and said incredulously, “Have you been to her room in the summer? Her room stinks of her feet.” Shi Ran’s classmate’s love was nipped in the bud.

And this happened to many others as well.

04 Yu Haiqiao’s love philosophy 2

“I don’t actually hate getting shots or eating medicine, at least it wasn’t that bad after I grew into an adult.”

Yu Haiqiao had gotten sick in front of Shi Ran many times, leading Shi Ran to reflectively tell him every time she saw him fall sick “You’re sick, you need to take medicine and stop hiding. I need to see you eat it.”

05 Yu Haqiao’s love philosophy 3

“I really like seeing Shi Ran’s angry appearance.”

Yu Haiqiao liked provoking Shi Ran until she was hopping mad and then hurriedly stroking her feathers.

The process of stroking her angry feathers included verbally apologizing, behaviorally apologizing, financially apologizing etc.

**

06 Change in Life after Remarriage

Nothing.

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Yu Haiqiao still had a nasty mouth, and was still a little b!tch in Shi Ran’s eyes.

She knew people didn’t change so easily!

Moreover, there would always be a few days in a year where she would get back at him for it.

Because——

A price was always exacted for all the nasty words that were said in this life —— Haiqiao Zweig.1A play on a quote of Stefan Zweig in ‘Marie Antoinette: The Portrait of an Average Woman’ where the original quote was “A price is always exacted for what fate bestows.”

KMH – TOC for advanced chapters [Complete]


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Little Potato [Overlord & Translator]

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3 Comments

  1. DreamRika

    Finished reading this and I want to thank you again for translating!! I can’t believe I cried a bit during their shouting fight.. haiz, what an angst moment.

  2. dyobingsu

    ahh, finally finished reading this and enjoyed it a lot. thank you so much for translating!!!