Chapter 5

On an early spring night, there was a slight chill in the air. I sat on the back of Lu Haoyang’s bicycle, watching his figure. Suddenly, I remembered a famous line from a blind date TV show: “I’d rather cry in a BMW than laugh on the back seat of a bicycle.” Yet here I was, sitting on the back seat of a bicycle and laughing, and I was genuinely happy.

When we arrived at the dormitory area, I asked Lu Haoyang to stop.

“I’ll take you to the bottom of the dormitory building,” he kindly reminded me.

“No need,” I smiled at him, mischievous thoughts running through my mind. “Just accompany me to walk there!”

Lu Haoyang seemed to not understand my intention. With a simple “oh,” he walked with me slowly. After a while, he turned his head to look at me, sounding somewhat helpless. “Why are you smiling foolishly by yourself again?”

“…”

Oops, he actually noticed…

“It’s nothing, just exercising the muscles on my face with a smile. It’s good for losing weight,” I stubbornly replied, my mind wandering. I casually turned my head to look at him and found that he was still looking at me. I smiled at him and quickened my pace.

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As soon as Director Xiao left, I left Lu Haoyang behind and walked quickly towards the dormitory building. With his long legs, he caught up and walked beside me. I quickened my pace once again, leaving him behind. Finally, he exploded:

“Han Xiaoya, if you have something to say, just say it! You made a fuss with me all day, and now you’re acting weird at night!”

Acting weird…

I stopped in my tracks, standing still, clenching my fists tightly.

“Yes! I like acting crazy! The craziest thing I can do is ask you out to watch a movie!” I shouted at him, not wanting to say anything else, and turned my head to walk away.

Lu Haoyang took a step and stood in front of me, blocking my path. I looked up and saw him glaring at me with anger but saying nothing.

I turned my head away, not looking at him, wanting to bypass him and continue walking forward. But every time I went left, he went left, and every time I went right, he went right, intentionally blocking my way.

“Don’t be so childish!”

Before I could question him, he blamed me first.

Who is really blocking whose way? Who is more childish?

“I am childish! I like it! Move aside!”

He provoked me to the point where I was about to lose control and I reached out to push him.

Lu Haoyang was unprepared and was pushed back a step by my force.

Ignoring him, I charged forward. But after a few steps, he grabbed my arm.

“Han Xiaoya, can’t you speak properly!” he condescendingly looked down at me, his eyes almost shooting fire.

I was furious but couldn’t help but smile back. I tilted my head at a 45-degree angle and looked at him with a defiant expression, “Yeah, of course I can speak properly, but I prefer to shout at you. What can you do about it?”

Lu Haoyang silently looked at me for a few seconds, then turned and walked away without looking back. I stood alone in the cold wind, watching his figure gradually disappear, tears welling up in my eyes.

Until his figure finally vanished from sight, I couldn’t hold back any longer. I squatted down, hugged my knees, and started crying.

It seemed that the words I said that night had crossed Lu Haoyang’s bottom line. Since that day, he never initiated contact with me again.

I counted the days on my fingers, a whole week had passed. In my mind, I cursed him thousands of times, calling him rude, unreliable, and a jerk. But when I turned around, I couldn’t resist missing this jerk.

“Xiaoya, let’s go have dinner together!”

When Jiejie came to invite me to the cafeteria, I was still wearing pajamas, slumped over the table lost in thought.

I didn’t even bother to turn my head and lazily replied to her while maintaining my position, “I’m not going, you can go by yourself.”

Jiejie walked up to me, grabbed me from the table, and shouted in my ear, “Han Xiaoya!”

I rubbed my ear and was about to collapse again, but she quickly held me back.

“What’s wrong with you? You haven’t had dinner for four or five days, and I haven’t heard you say anything about wanting to lose weight?”

I wasn’t in the mood to answer and let her pull my clothes. She couldn’t stand my despondent state and commanded me in a loud voice, “Han Xiaoya! Quickly change your clothes and accompany me to the cafeteria! Otherwise, don’t expect me to help you with anything in the future! Got it?”

I frowned, still indifferent. Jiejie was at a loss. After a moment of silence, she suddenly changed her tone and leaned in close to my ear, “Did Lu Haoyang break up with you or something?”

“What breakup!” I immediately retorted. I pushed away her hand on my shoulder, stood up from the seat, and walked to the wardrobe to find clothes.

As I changed my clothes, I heard her teasing, “You still won’t admit it? You were just half-dead a moment ago, but as soon as you heard those three words, you suddenly had energy even to change clothes.”

I put away the pajamas I had just taken off and pretended to casually respond, “I’ve always had energy, okay? I just don’t want you to continue nagging in my ear. And don’t mention me and Lu Haoyang like that again.”

Two seconds of silence passed, and I added, “We never had any relationship to begin with.”

It was dinner time, and although the cafeteria wasn’t crowded, there were still quite a few people. Even so, I immediately spotted Lu Haoyang among the crowd of diners.

“Hey! Isn’t that Lu Haoyang!”

Clearly, Jiejie noticed too and pointed toward the table where he was sitting.

There were four people at the table: Lu Haoyang, Pan Zicong, who I had crossed paths with before, and two girls sitting across from them.

Although Jiejie’s voice wasn’t loud, it caught their attention.

The first to notice us was Pan Zicong. He smiled at me and said something softly to Lu Haoyang, who then looked up in our direction. The two girls also looked over, one of whom was the same girl I had seen at the café last time.

“Let’s go.”

I had no mood to stay here any longer and grabbed Jiejie as we turned around and left.

“Aren’t you going to say hello? They saw us…” Jiejie hesitated.

“No need. Let’s not disturb them.”

As I said those words, I was clearly feeling miserable inside, but on the surface, I pretended like nothing was wrong.

That dinner, I quickly finished a bowl of porridge and dragged Jiejie away. The whole process didn’t exceed fifteen minutes. Jiejie wasn’t a fool; she had already guessed something from my attitude towards Lu Haoyang just now. But she didn’t ask further, and just silently stayed by my side.

As we walked back, I didn’t say a word. Jiejie looked at me hesitantly for a long time before finally speaking up, “Xiaoya, you’ve always been full of fighting spirit. How can you give up like this? Go and compete with those wildflowers! You’re so much stronger than them!”

“No,” I replied despondently, “I don’t care.”

So what if I’m stronger than them? In Lu Haoyang’s eyes, I’m stubborn and unreasonable, while they are gentle and understanding. Why should I bother to make myself unhappy?

I think, it’s over between Lu Haoyang and me.

“Han Xiaoya?”

I was in the sixth teaching building attending class, lost in thought. I didn’t even notice that I had entered the wrong classroom until someone called my name. I looked up and saw Pan Zicong smiling at me, still wearing his usual rascally expression.

Lu Haoyang’s good friend, a stranger to me. I turned around and walked away.

Pan Zicong chased after me and caught up outside the classroom. “Han Xiaoya!”

“What’s the matter?” I stopped and answered him curtly without even looking back.

Pan Zicong took two steps and stood in front of me, excitedly saying, “Our class is going on a spring outing, and we still need two more girls. When I saw you and your classmate in the cafeteria last time, I thought of you. How about joining us?”

What does their class have to do with me? They act as if we’re close.

“No, I’m not interested.” I answered coldly and walked past him.

“Hey, Han Xiaoya–“

Pan Zicong caught up again and blocked my way. “Don’t be so cold. I clearly remember that you weren’t like this towards Lu Haoyang last time. Do you really look down on me like that? After all, we’re fellow townsmen, right? You…”

I was speechless. Why are all of Lu Haoyang’s friends just like him? Thick-skinned and talkative, I didn’t even have a chance to interject.

“Enough!” I shouted in annoyance, my expression clearly showing my impatience. “I’m so annoyed! Fine, I’ll go, but let’s get this straight: I won’t pay for transportation or meals. You’ll cover everything. Do you agree or not?”

“…”

What else could I say? He seemed so “wronged.” If I were to back out at this moment, even the heavens might not be able to bear it and strike me with lightning.