Chapter 10.2

Qin Nan paused for a moment. He lowered his head, and Zhao Chuchu’s voice became hoarse, “She hasn’t given up. She’s just carrying too much, struggling in ways you can’t see.”

“You think she was particularly weak at the police station today. Yes, you weren’t weak, you vented, so she got fired.”

“You think she hasn’t done well, but if one day you were in her shoes, do you think you would do better than her?”

With that said, she got up and quickly walked out of the fast-food restaurant.

Qin Nan sat there unmoving for a long time. Eventually, he gathered his emotions, as if nothing had happened, and got up to leave.

That day, he worked until 11 pm, closed the shop, washed up, and went to bed. He felt as if he had returned to his high school days.

In his dream, there was a girl standing on the flag-raising platform. She was so radiant, so sunny.

Her classmates beside her chuckled, saying she looked like a fool.

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The phone buzzed, jolting him awake from his dream. Irritated, he turned over and hung up, only to hear someone knocking loudly at the door, accompanied by Zhang Yong’s shouting, “Qin Nan, are you there?”

Qin Nan was awakened by the banging on the iron door. He put on some clothes and stood up, opening the door to find an agitated Zhang Yong. He furrowed his brow, “Zhang, what are you doing here in the middle of the night?”

“I found the video, can you help me identify something?”

Zhang Yong held up a USB drive, and Qin Nan relaxed slightly, understanding what he was referring to. He stepped aside, holding the iron door open, “Come in.”

Without hesitation, Zhang Yong walked in, and Qin Nan closed and locked the iron door behind him, leading Zhang Yong to the inner room.

The inner room was where Qin Nan usually stayed, with a bed, a small table cluttered with things, and a compact toilet that also served as a shower.

Despite the narrow space, Qin Nan kept it tidy and organized. Zhang Yong marveled, “Honestly, with your lifestyle, you look like someone who’s all about getting things done.”

“Where’s the video?” 

Qin Nan turned on the computer, and Zhang Yong reacted quickly, patting Qin Nan’s shoulder, “Make some space.”

Qin Nan gave him room, and Zhang Yong took out a USB drive from his pocket and plugged it in. As he opened the USB drive, he cautioned Qin Nan, “This is my personal private activity, it’s private. Just take a look and keep it to yourself, don’t tell anyone.”

Qin Nan, not too pleased about being awakened in the middle of the night, didn’t respond to him.

Zhang Yong, somewhat excited, opened a pre-edited video, “We’re racing against time in our investigation. I want to find evidence to convince the parties to file a case, so I’m disturbing you in the middle of the night. Take a look at this first.”

With that, Zhang Yong pointed to the video, “See if this car is the one you spotted earlier in the morning.”

The video began playing, showing a small road in the middle of a reed field. The road was just wide enough for a car, and the reeds swayed in the wind. The video was dark, indicating it was late at night, and faint sounds of cicadas and frogs could be heard.

Qin Nan watched the video absentmindedly as he lit a cigarette. A black sedan slowly appeared in the frame, but due to the camera angle, only the top half of the car was visible, and the license plate was completely obscured. Qin Nan tried to identify the car based on the roof lines, took a drag of his cigarette, and couldn’t help but ask, “Where did you get this video? You can only see half of the car.”

“It’s better than nothing,” Zhang Yong sensed his disdain and hurriedly defended, “There are no surveillance cameras in that area at all. I went door to door asking people, and I got this video from a surveillance camera set up by someone themselves for anti-theft purposes.”

Qin Nan remained silent. Although only the front half of the car was visible, the distinctive lines of the Crown series sedan were clear. After looking again, he nodded, “It’s this car.”

“Then take a look at this video again.”

Seeing Qin Nan’s confirmation, Zhang Yong opened another folder, seemingly distracted, “By the way, I remember you mentioned being married before, why are you still living here?”

“Going to divorce.”

Qin Nan watched as Zhang Yong opened another video, curious, “Why?”

This video was somewhat longer, showing a roundabout in front of a large hotel where cars were parked.

Qin Nan took a drag of his cigarette, “We’re not compatible.”

“Then why did you marry her?”

“She wasn’t like this before.”

As the two talked, a group of people wearing Fuqiang Real Estate uniforms chatted and laughed as they passed by the camera.

They fawned over a man, speaking words of praise. Qin Nan’s cigarette froze in his hand, and Zhang Yong muttered in his ear, “Women are like this. Before marriage, they are one way, and after marriage, they are another. My wife is the same. But no matter what, I still love her.”

As Zhang Yong spoke, two women appeared in the video, supporting each other.

One woman was being supported by the other, walking and crying at the same time.

She cried miserably, a side of her that the other woman had never seen before.

Approaching the camera, her voice was finally captured amidst the noisy crowd.

“I dreamed last night, dreamed of when I was in high school. Back then, I thought I was really good. I gave a flag-raising speech, and many people watched, but I’ve never felt that way again in my life.”

“I really want to spend my life with him,” Ye Sibei cried, “I don’t know what like or dislike is, I can’t feel it, but I really want to spend my life with him. Why is it so difficult?”

“But everything has a reason, where is there a change without reason?”

As Zhang Yong spoke, he pointed to the car the two women were getting into, “Look at this, is this the car?”

Qin Nan watched the people in the video, silent. He watched as the man closed the car door, and the car drove away, revealing a clear blue and white license plate.

— It was the same license plate number as the Crown sedan he saw earlier that morning.

He remained silent for a long time, which made Zhang Yong somewhat puzzled. He turned to Qin Nan and asked, “Qin Nan?”

“Play it again,” Qin Nan spoke with a hoarse voice.

The video repeated once again, and the woman’s crying could be heard again.

“At that time, I thought I was special… but I’ve never felt that way again in my life.”

“I really want to spend my life with him… why is it so difficult?”

Qin Nan watched the people in the video and recalled Zhao Chuchu’s words from earlier in the day.

“No one who gives up on their life would do these things. She’s just carrying too much burden, struggling, which you can’t see.”

“Play it again,” Qin Nan’s eyes turned red, replaying that video over and over again.

Meanwhile, in his mind, those fragmented memories that he had forgotten kept replaying.

He remembered the moment Ye Sibei looked at him through the rain from behind the window, remembered Ye Sibei pointing at the paper lantern under the light and asking him if it looked good, remembered Ye Sibei in a wedding dress holding his hand for a photo, remembered Ye Sibei standing in front of him in the morning, wearing sportswear, with messy hair, looking pale like a ghost.

“She just needs someone to pull her out. If you pull her out, you’ll know…”

You’ll know.

Ye Sibei, how shining she is.

But he didn’t.

As her husband, not only did he not pull her out, but he also told her, “Last time I saw you, you were still wearing hair ties with small diamonds on them. This time, there’s nothing.”

“If a person can’t stand up on their own, no one can save them.”

He never asked her why she didn’t wear hair ties anymore, never asked her why she didn’t have the strength to repair that paper flower, he didn’t even ask why she didn’t throw away the paper flower and get a new lamp.

He was just like everyone else, condemning, disdainful, asking her why she didn’t try harder, didn’t stand up, didn’t become a braver, more likable person, didn’t live a better life for herself.

But he never realized that in this world, there are some people who, even if they exhaust all their efforts, cannot live an ordinary life well.

There’s no courage out of thin air, no unwavering strength without roots. For those abandoned by the world, struggling to survive is already their silent and great resistance.