ENC 80

Chapter 80. Self-Indulgence 

Shen Shuman guessed correctly. When he sought her out at that time, it was indeed to question why she kissed him and, by the way, return her underwear.

Wei Shi gazed at the delicate paper bag he retrieved from under the wardrobe, pulling out a blue and white striped, long-lost elasticless cotton underwear from inside, sinking into memories…

Five years ago that night, when he saw her at the bar, he had thought of many excuses to strike up a conversation with her.

Little did he expect that she would take the initiative to talk to him first — asking him to have a drink together.

Perhaps it was her shy and timid appearance, excessively charming, that gave him a wicked idea to tease her and test her attitude.

Unexpectedly, she actually took off her underwear and secretly placed it in his palm. The indescribable nervous and thrilling sensation was like engaging in an illegal drug deal.

Wei Shi still remembered how despicable and obscene he was that night.

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In the past, even a fierce glare from him that dimmed the light in her eyes would make him deeply remorseful.

Facing her, he was truly powerless.

He felt helpless, only able to watch her from afar, waiting for her to come closer step by step.

He had waited so many years, and he didn’t mind waiting a little longer.

But… life is unpredictable.

After he washed her underwear and planned to return it to deepen their connection, Cheng Tong told him that Shen Shuman had gone to work in Songxi City and didn’t know when she would come back.

It was like a bolt from the blue. For a long time, he couldn’t recover from that news.

If her departure could dispel his thoughts of her, then wouldn’t all the persistence he had maintained over the years become meaningless?

He didn’t think she would stay in Songxi City for long. After all, she was the only daughter in her family, and her parents were still in Hua’en City. She would come back sooner or later.

Their fate shouldn’t just end like this.

During that time, his mind was in chaos, like a tangled mess that couldn’t be unraveled.

However, as a conscientious surgeon, he had to continue living his life normally. Every day was either filled with meetings, surgeries, or research…

An accident occurred, and his act of kindness on the high-speed rail spread and trended online.

For a while, he became famous.

Every day, a bunch of people came to the hospital to see him. Initially, it was media reporters curious about the details of the incident. After he disclosed his single status, the main group of people who came to see him shifted to women who wanted to flirt with him and uncles and aunties looking for a match for their daughters.

There were many things that he pretended not to know on the surface, but in reality, he was well aware of them psychologically.

For example, some people edited videos related to him, started trending topics about his love history, speculated on who his significant other would be, jokingly said they wanted to marry him…

But he only cared about whether she knew that he had kept the position for his significant other vacant, waiting for her to come.

These were all old stories.

Wei Shi felt a discomfort in his throat, probably due to craving for a cigarette.

He never smoked in front of Shen Shuman, but in places where she couldn’t see, he occasionally indulged—

There was no need for her to see his decadent and desolate side because even he detested that heartbroken and listless version of himself.

He tidied up the underwear and the ring box, then retrieved a box of cigarettes from the TV cabinet in the living room.

With the cigarette box in one hand and a lighter in the other, he leisurely walked to the balcony, overlooking—

The bustling lights, the busy streets, the neon lights of the distant skyscrapers, flashing with various colors.

It was truly a noisy and lively night.

He took out a cigarette, lit it with a “snap” of the lighter, and in the darkness, a cluster of flames ignited.

As the flickering flames touched the cigarette, the burning tip lit up with a crimson glow.

He deeply inhaled the cigarette, nicotine seeping into his body, circulating, then exhaled as wisps of smoke, dissipating in the wind.

His mind was filled with her.

He was helpless, yet remarkably clear about this fact.

The three words “Shen Shuman,” engraved in his heart for so long, had made him forget the existence of those three words.

Loving someone, from self-awareness to gradually losing it, was probably this kind of feeling, right?