Chapters 1-8

0

I was posted on the confession wall, saying that I was a female pervert who had stolen underwear from the men’s locker room.¹a confession wall is a student-run page where university students can send in confessions/other letters for it to be posted anonymously onto the page

The specific content is shown in the screenshot below:

[R University Confession Wall

Wall, I want to post about someone.

Today at the swimming hall, there was a female pervert who was stealing underwear in the men’s locker room.

The female pervert was around 160cm, she was wearing a white bucket hat and a light green jacket, I couldn’t see her face clearly. We thought she had entered the wrong locker room, but later on a classmate discovered that his underwear had disappeared. Here I want to alert all fellow males, remember to lock your locker when you go swimming, and protect your underwear as well.]

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1

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I had been trying to lose weight recently. Everyday I would go running, skipping, and I even went to do aerobics.

A friend who I was losing weight with told me: “Swimming is very helpful for weight loss. We can go to the school swimming hall when we’re free. Just pick a working day to go, there aren’t that many people, and there are swimming teachers.”

As a non-swimmer, I was enticed.

After preparing all kinds of swimming equipment, I plucked up the courage and stepped into the swimming hall.

On Tuesday, the swimming hall was really empty.

I asked the teacher at the door, “Where is the women’s locker room?”

The teacher looked down at his phone, and pointed carelessly: “Over there.”

There, where?

Is there a door over there?

I forgot to mention, I have 800 degrees of nearsightedness.

Originally, I wore contact lenses today, but a bug got into my eye. While I was rubbing my eye, I also rubbed away my contact lenses.

I pondered, swimming doesn’t require that good of an eyesight, so I didn’t go back to get extra contact lenses.

I walked in the direction pointed by the teacher with a dazed expression, and I ended up really seeing a door.

I was so excited that I didn’t see the sign outside the door at all (what a joke, even if I did see it, I wouldn’t have been able to see it clearly anyway).

So I ran inside briskly.

Locker rooms were very different to toilets. Once you went into the wrong room, you would not be able to realize your mistake just from looking at the equipment around the room unless there was already someone inside.

And what a coincidence, there was no one in the locker room.

I opened a locker casually. The locker was very long and dark inside.

I happily took my belongings out of my bag and put them inside one by one.

Just as I was about to take off my clothes, there was a boy’s voice outside.

“Qiaowei, do you want to have dinner together tonight?”

“No, I still have some classes to prepare for.”

When four or five boys appeared in front of me, only wearing swimming trunks, I was dumbfounded.

They were also dumbfounded.

They turned around subconsciously and went outside: “We didn’t enter the wrong room.”

They then stood at the door and shouted: “Classmate, you went into the wrong room. This is the men’s locker room.”

F*ck, the most extreme social death situation.

I hurriedly stuffed a swimsuit or whatever it was into my bag, and then pulled out black trousers.

I was dumbfounded once again.

What, there were clothes in this locker!

I’m 800-degrees nearsighted, I did not notice it at all, okay!

I hurriedly put that person’s clothes back to their original place, lowered my head, then hurriedly ran past the group of boys as if I had caught a tail between my legs.

“Sorry, sorry, I accidentally went into the wrong locker room.”

I didn’t have any face to stay in the swimming hall anymore, so I escaped as fast as I could.

2

After putting my things back in the dormitory, I put on my glasses, changed my clothes, and went to the sports ground for a run.

When I returned to the dormitory, I found my roommates discussing something.

Xiaozhen, who slept in the bed next to mine asked me, “Yingying, do you have a light green jacket and a white bucket hat?”

I looked at them, in a daze: “Yes.”

I even wore it into the swimming hall today.

“You’d better not wear it for these next few days.”

“Why?”

“Look at the school confession wall.”

I turned on my phone and saw the post at the beginning of this story²check the plot summary to see the post.

Isn’t the person posted on the wall, me?

The time, place, appearance, clothing, and the action of walking into the wrong locker room…it seems that it was indeed me.

But what the h*ll did it mean by stealing underwear!

Within a flash, I seemed to have realized something…

I took out the bag that I had brought to the swimming hall today from the closet and began to look inside.

A swimsuit, swimming goggles, swimming cap, earplugs, a change of underwear, and…

Wait, what is this piece of black cloth? !

I shook it open stiffly.

It was a pair of boxers, L size, with Calvin Klein printed on the top.

…

3

I took this underwear that was hot in my hands and hid in the bathroom (luckily my roommates didn’t notice me doing this).

I took out my phone, clicked on Taobao³like Chinese eBay/Aliexpress and took a picture of the underwear.

The loading icon turned and turned, turned and turned, and finally the same underwear style appeared on the screen.

The price was…360RMB.

I cried as soon as I went “woof” like a sad dog.

Help, mom, I took 360 yuan from someone else!

4

If only it was a normal and ordinary piece of underwear, then I would endure the pain in my conscience and pretend that nothing had happened.

But this was a pair of underwear worth 360 yuan!

I could not get past my conscience!

Is this any different from stealing 360 yuan from someone else?

So I contacted the confession wall, hoping to find out the identity of the person who had lost their underwear.

Me: Wall, can I ask politely which classmate wrote the post about the stolen underwear?

Confession Wall: The other party requested anonymity, I can’t disclose it.

Me: ……

Okay, since this way won’t work, then let’s find another way.

I tried to remember what the boys looked like at the time.

Then I gave up.

For someone like me who was 800-degrees nearsighted, I couldn’t make any distinction between a human and an animal two meters away.

When I was in a dead end, I suddenly remembered something.

When the boys came in, someone had called another person’s name.

It seemed to be… Xiaowei⁴FL thinks it’s Xiaowei but it actually isn’t?

Judging from their appearance, they probably went to the swimming hall often.

If I went and squatted in front of the swimming pool for the next few days, maybe I could see Xiaowei?

So I went.

But to prevent being recognized, I wore a hat, a mask, and even reluctantly cut my hair short.

The effort paid off, and the next day, I heard a familiar voice.

“Qiaowei, why are you leaving so fast? Wait for me!”

I looked up and saw a boy chasing after another boy.

When I put my sights on the guy in front of me, I was stunned.

Wait, isn’t that Shen Qiaowei?

Qiaowei? Xiaowei?

It turned out that he was the one being called that day!

5

Although our university was not as good as the Top 2 universities in China⁵referring to Peking University and Tsinghua University, R University was still a well-known elite university, so the school was full of talents.

However, under such fierce competition, Shen Qiaowei still occupied a place at the top.

His father was a bass singer at the National Centre for the Performing Arts, and his mother was a well-known pianist in China. He came from a family of artists, yet he studied science and engineering at university.

Good-looking, well-educated, and smart.

Shen Qiaowei naturally became a school hunk-level figure.

Of course, I recognized him, but he didn’t recognize me.

But since Shen Qiaowei was there that day, he would definitely know who had lost their underwear…

It seems that I had to meet him.

6

It was simply too easy to get Shen Qiaowei’s contact information. I asked anonymously on the school forum and received it immediately.

But I didn’t dare to add him using my own WeChat account. I gave an epic skin from Honor of Kings⁶a game in order to borrow my cousin’s WeChat account.

After confirming that the Wechat Moments⁷kind of like your facebook wall had been restricted and his information was correct, I sent him a friend request—

“Hello senior, I am your female junior, I want to ask you something.”

One hour passed and there was no response.

So cold?

I sent a friend request again—

“Hello, senior, I really have something urgent I need to ask you.”

Another hour passed, nothing happened.

Was it because there were too many girls adding Shen Qiaowei, so he had learnt to automatically ignore them?

There was no other way, I could only use my trump card—

“Hello, senior, I heard that your friend’s underwear was stolen.”

This sentence indeed worked well. After half an hour, Shen Qiaowei accepted my friend request.

Shen Qiaowei: I’m sorry, I was doing some self-study just now and didn’t look at my phone.

Me: ……

Was this the reason?

Shen Qiaowei: My friend’s underwear was stolen? Who did you hear this from?

I had an idea and said: I have to keep it secret.

Shen Qiaowei did not reply.

I continued to talk nonsense: Senior, it’s like this, my friend picked up some underwear on the road, the brand is CK, and it’s black. Can you tell me who is the friend who lost the underwear? This way we can confirm it with your friend.

After the message was sent, I was relieved.

Sure enough, this reason was the safest.

To confirm, Shen Qiaowei would definitely tell me who had lost their underwear.

When the time comes, whether it would be to return it secretly, give money to the other party, or buy a new one, my conscience would feel much better.

But Shen Qiaowei did not reply for a long time.

Me: Senior?

Shen Qiaowei: It’s me.

Me: ? ?

Shen Qiaowei: I am the one who lost the underwear.

Shen Qiaowei: Excuse me, who are you?

Me: ……

I quickly blocked him.

7

After deleting Shen Qiaowei, I was stunned for a full five minutes. I then opened the small cloth bag inside the plastic bag in my makeup case in the closet and stared at the underwear that was buried underneath.

F*ck, I actually took the school hunk’s underwear!

Wait, is this unworn or does it still carry his scent?

8

I washed the underwear.

Of course it was not hand-washed.

A pair of underwear, washed using the washing machine, it even cost me eight yuan.

I felt that I was at a huge loss no matter how I looked at it.

Finally, I surreptitiously took the hair dryer to dry it and hid it back in the small cloth bag in the plastic bag in the makeup case in the closet.

I was thinking about how to secretly return the underwear.

After thinking for a long time….

There was no way at all!

At this moment, I had an idea.

Why don’t I pretend to be the friend who had “picked up” the underwear?

So I took a deep breath and used my own WeChat account to send a friend request—

“Hello, classmate Shen, I am the classmate who found the underwear.”

This time Shen Qiaowei accepted my request immediately.

Me: Classmate Shen, just now my friend told me that you were the one who had lost their underwear.

Shen Qiaowei: Why did she delete me?

Me: ……

Me: She was so shocked that she accidentally pressed the wrong button.

Ah, what kind of nonsense is this, no fool would believe it!

Fortunately, Shen Qiaowei did not continue to probe.

Shen Qiaowei: Take a picture, let me confirm it.

Me: Okay!

So I sent over the photo that I had used on the Taobao recognition interface earlier.

I thought Shen Qiaowei would say that it was his, or that it wasn’t his, but he said: The slippers look quite good.

I was startled, and then realized that he was talking about the little yellow duck slippers that had accidentally entered into the photo.

Alright, besides the white bucket hat and light green jacket, there was one more thing on the list of destruction.

I knowingly asked: Is it yours?

Shen Qiaowei: Yes.

Me: Look, do I buy you a new one or should I transfer money directly to you?

Shen Qiaowei: Transfer money to me?

Me: That’s right.

Shen Qiaowei: Why do you want to transfer money to me?

Me: To buy your underwear.

Shen Qiaowei: ?

Me:……

Did I say something treacherous?

Shen Qiaowei: Can’t you just return it to me directly?

No, of course not! If I give it back to you directly, then wouldn’t I be exposed!

In case you recognize that I am the one who walked into the wrong locker room that day, do I still have face to stay in the R University? !

Me: Well, let’s find a place, I will put the things there first, and you can go get it later.

Shen Qiaowei: ? ?

Shen Qiaowei: Is it necessary to go through so much trouble?

Me: I’m sorry, classmate Shen, I am too shy to give it to you face-to-face, besides, if someone sees, it’ll be hard to explain.

Shen Qiaowei paused for a few minutes before replying to me.

Shen Qiaowei: Classmate Cui Yingying, if you are embarrassed to come to me, I can go to you.

Me: ? ? ! !

Help, mother, why does this man know my name!

–

[Translator’s Note: A funny, light-hearted start to this short story! I’ll be uploading this coming week so it should be finished in a week’s time! Enjoy the cute, short ride!]