In this world, it was impossible to be with someone all the time. Even the person you loved the most would have his mission and responsibility. You could be his centre, but you couldn’t be his everything.
Cen Ning never blamed Yan Xingzhi. Even though Yan Xingzhi would often disappear, and be absent from her side for long periods, she never had any complaints about him.
He wanted to guard the country. What she wanted to do was to accompany him and understand him.
One month later, Cen Ning saw Yin Li on the news.
He held a press conference and personally revealed the real owner of the work that once made him famous. His reputation was ruined all of a sudden, and the dead man named Yin Rui entered everyone’s memory.
Cen Ning should have been happy when she saw the news, but she couldn’t feel happy when she saw Yin Li’s face, which seemed to have aged ten years.
She blamed him, but after so long, Yin Li’s teaching and kindness to her could not be erased at will. So the last thing she could do was to be an indifferent bystander. She would not add insult to injury, nor forgive casually.
“Ningning, let’s go.” Yan Xingzhi bought lunch and planned to go upstairs to Tang Zheng’s room with Cen Ning.
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Uld Lkdt vssj sdl zypv zssj yv vbl rlapsd sd vbl dlop yde vspple vbl rbsdl kdvs bla cyt.
Zyd Dkdtgbk tzydnle yv bla. “Tyhld’v nsdvynvle Zkd Nk ytykd?”
Uld Lkdt dseele. “R esd’v jdso bso vs qynl bkx. R vbkdj bl eslpd’v jdso bso vs qynl xl, lkvbla.”
Zyd Dkdtgbk: “Tl eked’v oykv qsa usw vs alhlyz vbkp plnalv yde nbspl vs yddswdnl kv bkxplzq. Mbkp ldekdt kp tsse qsa usw yde bkx csvb, yde ds sdl okzz qllz twkzvu yduxsal.”
Uld Lkdt blze Zyd Dkdtgbk’p byde, pbsokdt y caklq pxkzl. “Ybx.”
Zyd Dkdtgbk: “Nlv’p blye wr. Mydt Hbldt pbswze cl bwdtau.”
“Xjyu.”
Ebld vbl vos sq vblx oyzjle swvpkel vbl assx, vblu blyae Hbydt Hkuk’p nwapkdt hsknl. “Mydt Hbldt, usw pvkdjkdt keksv, calyjkdt wr, obyv calyjkdt wr? Fll kq usw nyd qkde psxlsdl yp ektdkqkle yde clywvkqwz yp xl kd vbl qwvwal. Rv’p dsv rsppkczl!”
“Zhang Ziyi, did you not listen to what I just said?”
“What did you say? Oh, you said your leg is injured and you’re going to be a cripple, that you’re not good enough for me. Who the hell do you think you are, making it look like you’re good enough for me if you’re not crippled?”
“Zhang Ziyi, be serious! I’m serious!”
“You won’t be crippled! Quit nagging. Tomorrow Mommy is going to find you the best doctor in the world. If you become crippled, you will take my surname.”
“…”
“Besides, you want to break up with me when you are crippled? Shouldn’t you be crying and screaming for me, such a good girl, to stay?”
Outside the room, Cen Ning and Yan Xingzhi looked at each other.
During just this month alone, this drama has been staged for the third time.
Cen Ning pushed the door open and walked in. “It’s time to eat.”
Tang Zheng turned his head away when he saw someone coming in, and Zhang Ziyi threw herself at Cen Ning’s side with a slumped face.
“Look at him. Is he neurotic? Before he even started his rehabilitation, he was constantly worrying that the sky might collapse (TLN: In a Chinese story, a man from the state of Qi constantly worries that the sky might collapse. He becomes so consumed by this unfounded fear that he neglects his daily responsibilities and lives in constant distress. The idiom is used to depict someone who is overly anxious or preoccupied with irrational worries, often overlooking more practical concerns or real problems.
Tang Zheng: “…”
Cen Ning: “Tang Zheng, it’s fine. The doctor said that you will recover with proper rehabilitation.”
Yan Xingzhi put down the lunch and sat on the edge of the hospital bed. “Having this kind of break-up drama now and then, are you acting out scenes of suffering?”
Zhang Ziyi: “Exactly!”
Tang Zheng pretended to cry twice, took Yan Xingzhi’s hand and put it to his face, and began to complain miserably. “Brother Yan, I’m not acting, it’s this woman that always angers me, I suggest a breakup and she insulted my ancestors for eighteen generations (TLN: It is an idiom used to express extreme anger, indignation, or offence. When someone says this phrase, they are expressing that they feel deeply offended and insulted to the point that it extends to their ancestors, going back eighteen generations), I’m trying to wish the best for her, if I am crippled, how aggrieved would she be with me.”
Zhang Ziyi rolled her eyes. “How many times do you want me to say it? You can’t f*cking be crippled. Don’t add drama yourself, okay?”
The corner of Yan Xingzhi’s mouth twitched slightly, and he took his hand back. “… Let’s eat.”
Tang Zheng: “Hey Brother Yan, you heard this woman—”
“I do not want to hear.”
Cen Ning smiled sullenly, regardless of their messing about, and took out the containers of food from the bag one by one.
During this period, Tang Zheng’s physical condition improved a lot, although he still couldn’t get out of bed because of his legs. After a while, he should be able to get out of bed and then he could go for rehabilitation.
As for being crippled or something, it basically didn’t exist. It was just that it was now impossible to do those dangerous things like before, and Yan Xingzhi felt guilty. No matter how much Tang Zheng and Zhang Ziyi quarrelled, he insisted on coming to the hospital himself to take care of him.
After eating, Cen Ning went out to buy some things with Zhang Ziyi. Lying on the hospital bed, Tang Zheng glanced at Yan Xingzhi who was peeling an apple.
“The team is so busy, you don’t have to come every day.”
Yan Xingzhi stopped the hand holding the knife. “It’s okay.”
“Brother Yan, what I said to Zhang Ziyi was just for fun, you know. Let me tell you, I’m very happy. We special forces are so tired.” Tang Zheng chuckled, “For my situation now, I can now change roles to a non-military nature job, I am extremely satisfied.”
Ever since he was a child, Yan Xingzhi, Tang Zheng, and Xin Zechuan have been playing and job. training together. Later, Xin Zechuan gave up joining the military because of the pressure from his family, and the two of them were the only ones left to persevere.
Yan Xingzhi knew Tang Zheng well, just as Tang Zheng knew him well.
He must be saying this now because he was afraid that Yan Xingzhi would blame himself. Tang Zheng, how passionate he was and how much he loved everything in the past, Yan Xingzhi understood.
Tang Zheng: “Hey, you have to help me talk to my superiors and give me a slightly useful role. Although I want to be happy, I don’t want to be too idle… Brother Yan, brother Yan?”
“Mhm?”
“Did you listen to me?”
After peeling the last bit of apple peel, Yan Xingzhi smiled faintly. “Mhm, I know.”
“Hey, you’re a good brother!”
An unspoken agreement, while looking towards the future.
They both understood each other and trusted each other. In this line of work, accidents were inevitable, but the belief in this line of work would always be there.
After coming out of the hospital, Yan Xingzhi took Cen Ning back to school.
Cen Ning originally wanted to go to her thesis advisor to get her thesis done, but before she could go, she received a call from Duan Xiaoquan.
After that film festival, Cen Ning and Duan Xiaoquan had each other’s contact information. The two of them got along very well with photography, and Duan Xiaoquan also admired her ability, so he always paid attention to her.
Half an hour later, Duan Xiaoquan and Cen Ning sat down in a coffee shop outside the school. Duan Xiaoquan was as gentle and courteous as ever, and after ordering coffee for Cen Ning, he asked, “What do you think about the matter of going to New York that I mentioned earlier?”
Cen Ning paused for a moment. “I plan to go.”
Duan Xiaoquan was very happy to hear that. “I think you will go too.”
“Mhm,” Cen Ning took a sip of coffee and said calmly, “After all, I still need to go through some serious and systematic studies.”
Duan Xiaoquan took a look at her. It had been a while since he had seen her, the impression she gave others had changed a bit. This change was revealed from the inside out, like Nirvana in growth.
Duan Xiaoquan: “If your father was still alive, he must also want you to go.”
Cen Ning was taken aback for a moment, then nodded slowly.
“You must know about Yin Li, Cen Ning. Mr. Yin talked to me before apologizing publicly. I didn’t stop him, because it was indeed his fault, and he has been suffering.”
Cen Ning: “Are you here to intercede for him?”
Duan Xiaoquan shook his head. “I just want you to know that it’s one thing for him to do something wrong, but another thing for him to be sincere to you. Don’t hate him too much.”
Cen Ning smiled slightly. “It’s meaningless to say these things now. No one can go back.”
“That’s right… No one can go back, even the dead can’t come back.”
Cen Ning bought some question databases and books needed for the TOEFL test, but in fact, the TOEFL test is not very difficult for her as an English major. However, she still wanted to prepare for it just to be on the safe side.
After returning to the apartment, Cen Ning placed the book on the coffee table, turned around and went to take a shower. Later, when she came out with my hair wrapped up after taking a shower, she saw Yan Xingzhi sitting on the sofa scanning through the book.
Cen Ning was taken aback for a moment, feeling inexplicably uncomfortable. “When did you come back?”
Yan Xingzhi’s gaze lifted from the TOEFL book. “Ten minutes ago.”
Cen Ning gave an “Oh before the housekeeping aunt left, she said that the food could be eaten after a little heating.”
Yan Xingzhi didn’t answer. After a moment of silence, he asked, “Have you decided?”
Cen Ning knew what he was talking about. He had heard from her two days ago that she wanted to study abroad. He was silent when he heard her say this. Now, he saw that she even bought a book. He probably knew in his heart that even nine cows could not pull her away from her decision. (TLN: idiomatic expression in Chinese used to convey a sense of something being irretrievable or irreversible, emphasizing the difficulty or impossibility of undoing or reversing a situation)
Yan Xingzhi: “Actually, you have always had this thought, right?”
Cen Ning nodded, then shook her head again. “Not really. I used to be envious but never thought that I was really capable and qualified to go. At that time, I felt that my mother would not understand me, and I also felt that I could not owe any more… I owe too much to Grandpa, so I thought it would be good to learn from my seniors like this.”
“Why did you not tell me?”
“What?”
“Since you want to go, why didn’t you tell me? Do you think I can’t help you, or do you not want to owe me?”
Cen Ning: “Owing to you… Owing to Grandpa, what difference does it make?”
“You-“
“Xingzhi Gege, this is my business, and I’m not someone from the Yan family. Your family has no obligation to do these things for me.”
Yan Xingzhi stood up suddenly. “Cen Ning, don’t forget that you are my fiancee!”
“It’s because I am! That’s why I don’t want to depend on you for everything!” Cen Ning turned her head. “I’m not a useless person, nor an embroidered pillow… if I keep asking and I’m still not satisfied, then when am I?”
Yan Xingzhi’s pupils shrank. “Do you have to be so clear with me?”
“I just…”
“I can’t even give you what you want, what am I?” Anger was hidden in Yan Xingzhi’s eyes. “Cen Ning, no one in the Yan family treats you as an outsider! Saying things like owing, only you have been drawing that line clearly, only you are pushing yourself out!”
Yan Xingzhi seldom spoke loudly to her, and Cen Ning had been restless during this time. Now that she was being yelled at like that, the hairs all over her body seemed to be aroused.
“Yes! I’ve been drawing lines. I’ve been pushing myself out! You don’t understand anything at all! You are the pride of heaven (TLN: idiomatic expression often used to describe someone who is exceptionally talented, outstanding, or remarkable in their abilities or achievements). You have always lived in the centre of others. You are the focus of attention wherever you go. No one has ever looked down on you! But I’m different! Don’t put your young master of a prestigious family attitude on me!”
“You!” Yan Xingzhi was so angry that it seemed that if Cen Ning said one more sentence, he could directly strangle her to death. But it was just that it looked like that, he endured, and in the next second he walked into his room angrily, With a bang, the door slammed loudly.
Cen Ning was also angry. She walked back to her room where she hadn’t slept for a long time. The door slammed louder than him.
This was the first time they had quarrelled and said harsh words to each other.
Cen Ning was lying on the bed. Her eyes were red with sadness.
She knew that she said some mean things to him. She knew that he never had the style of a young master of a prestigious family, but she said it in a moment of desperate situation.
He was probably really angry, angry that she didn’t want him to help her, angry that she drew lines so clearly, and angry that she included him in the ranks of outsiders.
But in fact, she didn’t see him as an outsider, nor did she see anyone from the Yan family as an outsider.
It was just that she felt inferior and embarrassed. Say that she was hypocritical, say she was pretentious, say she was asking for guilt, she accepted them all. It was just that whatever she decided on, she would go do.
Cen Ning stayed in the room for an unknown amount of time. When she was half asleep and half awake, the door of the room was suddenly pushed open.
Cen Ning opened her eyes in a daze and saw a figure standing beside her.
“…”
“…”
The two looked at each other, and the air froze a bit.
“Get up.” Yan Xingzhi frowned, looking serious.
Cen Ning felt aggrieved looking at him, so she pursed her lips and remained silent.
He took a few steps forward, directly picked her up from the bed, reached out and pulled off the towel she was still wearing on her head.
As soon as the towel was removed, all of her black hair fell out, and it hung half dry and half wet on Cen Ning’s face, making her look dishevelled.
“What are you doing…” Cen Ning’s eyes flickered in shock behind a few strands of hair.
Yan Xingzhi looked down at her while towering above. “You don’t even dry your hair. What do you want to do?”
Cen Ning bit her lips, and muttered, “We’re arguing… Why are we now talking about hair?”
“What did you say?”
“Nothing……”
Yan Xingzhi glared at her, turned and went out, but he came back after a while, holding a hair dryer in his hand.
“Sit down.”
Cen Ning: “…”
“Did you hear me?”
Cen Ning finally sat up obediently. She watched as Yan Xingzhi plugged in the hair dryer, and watched him dry her hair with a cold face.
With the sound of the hot air, his fingers ran through her hair, quickly but gently stroking her messy hair.
He didn’t speak, and she didn’t speak either. The two of them were silent amidst the noise.
Cen Ning lowered her eyes, held a corner of his clothes in her hand, and silently tugged at it. At this moment, the sudden irritability gradually cooled down.
Cen Ning knew how good Yan Xingzhi was to her, and she also knew that the words she said just now could be said in a better way, to blow her nose and glare (TLN: Chinese idiom used to describe someone who is in a state of anger, indignation, or being upset, often accompanied by huffiness or a confrontational attitude).
“What I was saying is nonsense, and I want to take it back.”
The sound of the hair dryer was right next to her ears, and since Cen Ning lowered her head, Yan Xingzhi didn’t notice her talking. Cen Ning knew it, so she did this on purpose, taking advantage of the obscure atmosphere to admit her mistake.
“I know you are good to me, I shouldn’t be a white-eyed wolf (TLN: idiomatic expression used to describe someone untrustworthy, deceitful, or treacherous), I shouldn’t speak without discretion (TLN: describes someone who speaks impulsively or without considering the consequences or impact of their words), you are not that kind of young master, you are different from them.”
The hair dryer stopped suddenly.
Yan Xingzhi: “Did you speak?”
Cen Ning: “…No.”
The electric wind continued to blow.
Cen Ning: “Grandpa is also very kind to me, everyone is very kind to me, that’s why I want to be independent and strong, I want to repay them, and…”
The electric wind stopped blowing again. Cen Ning paused and looked up at him.
“Are you talking?” Yan Xingzhi frowned.
Cen Ning grasped his clothes tightly and did not deny it again. This time, she continued what she said just now: “And you are my most important person. How could you be an outsider? But Xingzhi Gege, I should also grow up. I can’t rely on you for everything, right?”
Her hair was dry, so Yan Xingzhi put down the hair dryer and reached out to manage her hair,
He was provoked by her just now, but he had always known that while she looked simple on the surface, she had a heavy heart. He also knew that she had always been cautious. It was just that he selfishly wanted to protect her all the time, and didn’t want her to escape from his palm.
But his little girl has grown up after all.
Yan Xingzhi sighed silently. “Yes.”
Cen Ning’s eyes lit up. “Then you think I’m reasonable. Are you not angry?”
“How am I not angry anymore?”
Cen Ning asked in a low voice, “Then why are you still coming in to blow-dry my hair when you’re angry?”
Yan Xingzhi almost burst into laughter out of anger again. “Didn’t I see that you are so stupid, with your hair still wrapped up, and you didn’t come out for a long time?”
“…You still think about this matter at this time?”
Yan Xingzhi pinched her face and was annoyed at her but was reluctant to use force. “Then what should I think about? Thinking that you are going to fly to a place where I can’t touch? Or thinking that your wings are so hard (TLN: figurative sense to convey the idea that someone has become more confident, assertive, or independent) that I can’t even protect you.”
“No…”
“Ningning, I will let you go, I will give you the freedom to do what you want, I will not tie you down.” Yan Xingzhi slowly let go and rubbed her cheeks which turned red when touched. “But you remember, don’t force yourself to hold on when you’re tired, you still have me.”
Hey lovely readers, sorry about the delayed posts. We had a hectic schedule and just got to the chapters now. Thank you so much for your patience!
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