CHAPTER 39

It’s very cold today. In February, the temperature in the Absolute Wing Hall starts to plummet sharply, and a white curtain of snowflakes even begins to descend.

A few white crystalline snowflakes perch on my eyelashes and melt into water because of my body heat, so I blink and shake off the water droplets.

The ground is covered with a thin layer of white snow. After the snow on the soles of the shoes touches the marble floor, water stains are left along the road, causing the floor to become very slippery. Therefore, in the afternoon, the cleaning time of the assigned prisoners became busier. Now, in addition to shoveling snow, they also need to clean the floor.

I tug my coat tight to prevent the cold wind from pouring in. When the weather is cold, we prison guards will put on a dark-gray trench coat in addition with a specified windbreaker whenever we go outside.

I look up at the sky, although I have never liked the gloomy weather in Absolute Wing Hall, but I must say that the snow scenery here is really beautiful. Even the tall coniferous trees with hanging snow-white icicles that adds beauty to the snowy landscape is very new to me, who has only seen the hot sun in my hometown. Sometimes, when no one was looking, I would secretly grab a pile of snow to play with, but I was once caught by Gu Yan on the spot and got teased about it, after that, I never did it again.

I still feel ashamed whenever I think about it.

I cross a corner and about to step on another corridor back to the dormitory to change into a dry (my coat was wet with snow) set of clothes, when I spot a distant teenager standing-still on the snow next to the well-fenced wall.

The young man is dressed in thin clothes, and the snow has already piled up a layer of crystal white on his shoulders. He tilts his head high, as if staring at the sky, but also as if staring beyond the fence.

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Kspb? R pweeldzu qllz pvaydtl kd xu blyav. Ebyv kp bl eskdt pvydekdt yzsdl kd vbl pdso? Ohld kd y vbknj nsyv R pvkzz qllz nsze, kpd’v kv nszela qsa Kspb obs sdzu olyap y zkvvzl nzsvbkdt?

Yu casop jdkv yp R nbydtl aswvl yde vwad vs vbl ekalnvksd oblal Kspb kp.

R vbkdj vbkp kp bso vlldytlap yal, pkdnl vblu yal uswdt yde kd tsse blyzvb, vblu nyd qssz yaswde zkjl vbkp.

“Kspb,” R nyzz swv vs bkx kd vbl ekpvydnl, cwv bl eslpd’v pllx vs blya xl.

R rknj wr xu rynl y ckv, xu pbsl rakdvp zsetkdt dlmv vs Kspb’p. Mbl rakpsdlap kd vbl Gcpszwvl Ekdt Tyzz esd’v olya pbslp kd saela dsv vs yhske wpkdt pbslzynlp vs nsxxkv pwknkel. Gv xspv, vblu olal sdzu yzzsole vs olya pzkrrlap. Mblalqsal, xydu rlsrzl, vyjl Qw Zyd qsa lmyxrzl, yzxspv nsxrzlvlzu esd’v olya kv yv yzz. Mbwp, yp pssd yp R yrrasynb, R ekpnshla vbyv Kspb kp pvydekdt cyalqssv sd vbl pdso.

R qllz y zkvvzl wdbyrru, dsv wdelapvydekdt obu Kspb oydvp vs es vbkp.

Fweeldzu, Kspb, obs oyp saktkdyzzu pvydekdt-pvkzz, xshle nzspla vs vbl qldnle-oyzz. Mbl swvla oyzz sq vbl Gcpszwvl Ekdt Tyzz kp xyel wr sq vos zyatl rklnlp sq pvsdl rkzzyap pwaaswdele cu kasd asep kd vbl xkeezl. Rd qynv, kq psxlsdl oydvp vs lpnyrl vbl rakpsd, vblu nyd fwpv nzkxc vbaswtb vbl aykzkdtp. Tsolhla, ds sdl byp lhla pwnnllele kd lpnyrkdt, clnywpl vbl rlakrblau sq vbl Gcpszwvl Ekdt Tyzz kp y zyatl, ellr qsalpv, yde ds sdl oydvp vs ekl okvbkd vbl ossep.

Ebld R nyvnb pktbv sq Kspb nzkxckdt vbl kasd aykzkdt, R alyzkgl yv sdnl vbl plakswpdlpp sq vbl pkvwyvksd, yde R cltkd vs rwzz xu zltp wr yde awd xyezu vsoyaep Kspb.

“Josh! Get down here!” I yell.

That’s when Josh notices me, he pauses for just a moment, yet he still continues climbing up.

“Josh!” I puff a panicking breath before picking up my pace.

In the end, before Josh can flee any further, I reach out and seize him off the railing. Josh falls backwards and into my arms as my entire back crashes onto the snowbank below.

I gasp for air and clutch the boy in my arms tightly. The police cap falls aside, the white snow melts into my hair, and my entire back feels both cold and painful.

“What are you doing?!” I couldn’t help but angrily scold the boy in my arms.

Josh’s mouth remains tight shut as he gets off me in silence. I sit up from the snow and glare at him with reproaching eyes, “Do you know what you’re doing?”

I grunt softly and pick up the fallen police cap from the side and put it on.

“I know, of course I know.” Josh utters, his voice as small as an insect’s, “I want to escape…”

“Escape? What are you thinking?” My brows become more tangled, “You obviously know that there is a deep, barren forest outside the Absolute Wing Hall, and it’s snowing! You’ll probably freeze to death in the woods!”

Josh becomes silent again, his head hanging low, but his expression is supporting stubbornness, like a kid who thinks he didn’t do something wrong but was punished.

“Well, no matter how deep that forest is, you should understand that there’s still a tight police force outside the forest, even if you successfully escape these walls, you will still be caught in the end!”

“I understand! Of course I understand!” Josh raises his head and shouts at me agitatedly.

“You do understand, but why you still…”

“Because I can’t take it anymore!”

Josh starts to choke, his face full of grief and anger, and glaring teardrops rain down his face.

“I can’t stand it! I can’t stand it! Why do I have to be imprisoned in the Absolute Wing Hall? Why do I have to stay by Li’s side? I obviously didn’t do anything! I clearly… didn’t commit any crimes!” Josh collapses and falls to his knees on the snow, even his shoulders are violently trembling from crying.

I watch him punch on the snow, his hands reddened, and a look of resignation and exhaustion appears on his face, making my heart ache numbly.

“Josh, calm down, get up first, it’s cold here…” I pick up Josh, whose hands, feet and face are already frozen red. “You’re frostbitten, why don’t I take you to the infirmary and see Dr. HuiMeng first?”

Josh doesn’t say anything back, maybe because he’s already crying too much to answer, but he still lets me help him walk.

I take Josh to the infirmary, and many people have seen it along the way. This made me feel a little nervous. I secretly pray that these people don’t have such big mouths!

When I enter the medical room, the heater inside is very strong, and even seems a bit stuffy, but more importantly, HuiMeng LuoLuo is not there. I escort Josh to sit down on the bed before sitting down myself.

I rummage through the coffee table below the water dispenser, spot a box of tea bags placed at the bottom, and casually fish out a teacup to make a cup of hot tea for Josh. I hope HuiMeng LuoLuo doesn’t mind if I touch these things without permission!

I hand the hot tea to Josh, whose mood has fortunately recovered a bit.

I sigh lightly and gaze at the slightly haggard young man in front of me, “Josh, why did you do such a foolish thing?”

Josh stares at the golden brown liquid in the teacup for a long time, and mumbles in a weak voice, “Because of you, it’s all Because of you… I’m so jealous of you.”

“Jealous of me?” Josh’s momentary flash of overwhelming emotion makes me panic.

“I’m sorry.” Josh bows his head deeply to me. “But I’m really envious and jealous of you at the same time… Why is it that only you can do this?”

I use silence to urge Josh to continue, his voice trembling a little, “I heard, Gu Yan used his personal connections to let you meet your sister, breaking the rules of the Absolute Wing Hall for your sake.”

I stare blankly at Josh, not knowing what to say. But what he said was the truth, even though I don’t want to admit it, but Gu Yan is indeed doing these things for me.

“That’s why I’m jealous. Why are you the only one who can see your family and your sister? I want to see my sister too, get out of this hellhole and get away from Li!” Josh’s fingers become pale white from gripping the teacup tightly, and his wheat-colored face flushed, “But Li won’t let me go! He won’t even let me see my sister, he wants me to see only him, only Li HongRan! No one else is allowed to enter my eyes!”

“Josh…”

“You can’t understand, brother Ye ShiJiu, because your king is Gu Yan, not Li— I’m being driven almost out of breath by Li. Coming, so when I was standing by the wall, I thought of you getting to see your loved ones while I couldn’t. A great imbalance overwhelmed my heart, and the idea of escaping this prison took root in my head. Against all odds, I wanted to escape from here and see my sister, just like you.”

Josh gives me a very bitter smile.

I sigh lightly, gaze sincerely into Josh’s eyes and say, “I understand…Josh, I understand.”

If I’m in Josh’s shoes today, I’d probably be jealous of myself too.

“No, I think you still don’t understand, because you weren’t involved in what happened between us—” Josh’s words remind me of the same thing Cang Wu had said.

“That’s right.” I couldn’t help but laugh bitterly.

In silence, I cast off the soaked white gloves on my hands, and only after a long time do I call out to him, “Josh…”

Josh lifts his honey-colored eyes and levels them with mine.

“Can I ask you… about between you and Li, and the reason why you ended up in Absolute Wing Hall back then?” I smile gently, “I think maybe this way, I can be a little more understanding, and of course, if you don’t want to, it’s okay not to talk about it.”

Josh is quiet about my question for some time, and it takes a full few minutes before he opens his mouth and tells me about the past between him and Li.

“Li is my university classmate. We met in our freshman year. Li is a rich second-generation kind of guy. I heard that he is a son of a world-famous group. He is a son from a very wealthy family, and although his parents were busy with work, his servants spoiled him like a treasure, and I think that may be the very reason for his deviant personality.”

Josh continues, “From the time I met Li, he has always been like that. He was the king of the school because of his family’s money and his ability to fight, and everyone had to listen to him. Although everyone thinks he does whatever he wants and seems to be overly proud of it, I think he is very pitiful… “

Why would you think he is pitiful?” I ask.

“Because he always looked so lonely, like a lone beast. underneath his arrogant exterior, just a beast defending himself because he was lonely and insecure, no one could see it— but I really saw right through it, I saw his loneliness.” Josh lowers his face and sighs softly, “I sympathize with him, but maybe it’s because of this sympathy that’s gotten me into this miserable situation.”

“What do you mean?” A heavy feeling suddenly weighs on my heart.

“Big brother Ye ShiJiu…” Josh raises his head, and that’s when I see the deep remorse in his eyes, “I was the one who approached Rei in the beginning. I approached him with my great self-righteous love, but I instead got myself into a lot of trouble.”

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Erza: Just a little peek of Josh’s tragic backstory and I already feel stuffy, what’s more in the future chapters >_<.