CHAPTER 47

I stare at him a long while before quietly getting up from the bed.

…Spent last night in Gu Yan’s bed again… Excluding the day before yesterday, when I finally came back to the dormitory after being unable to move back due to my injuries, I have slept in his cell for several days in a row now.

Outside the window, the sky is a sea of deep blue, with a hint of white flakes floating in the distance.

The air temperature before sunrise is much lower than at other times of the day. Even though the heating in the cell is on, I can’t help but still get goose bumps.

I gingerly get out of bed and stride into the bathroom.

Turning on the light, I accidentally catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I stare at the figure in the mirror as it’s naturally staring back at me, and then “his” brows suddenly knit into a frown— it’s the bruises and red spots on my neck and chest that are left by Gu Yan every night he spends with me.

I caress the marks on my body before sighing softly.

The man in the mirror has a haggard and slightly gloomy face, but not the kind of anger, hatred or horror that I used to see in this mirror whenever “the man” saw the marks left on his body by Gu Yan.

The following parts of the text will be scrambled to prevent theft from aggregators and unauthorized epub making. Please support our translators by reading on secondlifetranslations (dot) com. If you are currently on the site and and you are seeing this, please clear your cache.

Ubydtle—R nyd’v vlzz oblal kv byp nbydtle, cwv R fwpv qllz kv. Mbl xyd kd vbl xkaasa byp nbydtle, yzsdt okvb vbl rlanlrvksd sq Qw Zyd… kv byp nbydtle.

Fbllrkpbzu yhlavkdt xu lulp, R pnayxczl kdvs vbl pbsola yde vwad sd vbl bsv oyvla, zlvvkdt kv awpb sd xu blye yde cseu okvb y nzyvvla. Rv’p dsv wdvkz vbl bsv oyvla kp yzxspv pwqqsnyvkdt xl vbyv R pokrl yoyu vbl nwavykd sq oyvla eakrrkdt sd xu qynl.

Vydkn, blzrzlppdlpp, yde ydmklvu— yzz nsxl awpbkdt kdvs xu blyav yv sdnl, vokpvkdt yde piwllgkdt kv.

R’x zkjl y zspv rlapsd pvlrrkdt kdvs vbl xwe, ktdsaydvzu pvlrrkdt qsaoyae, yde obld R nyd’v yehydnl ydu qwavbla, R dykhlzu nsxl cynj vs xu pldplp… sdzu vs qkde vbyv xu ldvkal cseu kp yzalyeu pwcxlatle ellr kdvs vbl xwe.

—Ebyv byrrldle vs xl?

Qw Zyd…

Mseyu kp vbl vkxl zkxkv qsa Lws Ny yde Zk XwYw vs cl yzzsole vs alvwad vs vblka nlzzp, vbwp lyazu kd vbl xsadkdt, Uydt Ew ynnsxrydklp xl vs rknj vblx wr qasx Dwl NwsZk’p pkel.

Ebld R qynl Lws Ny yde Zk XwYw, vblu esd’v alynv vss xwnb, yde R yzps vau vs rwv sd y nyzx elxlydsa.

Nuo La’s face is still bandaged, but he still has an arrogant look, his eyes staring at me has its usual contemptuous and disdain as well, but he doesn’t insult me ​​with some unpleasant foul language or harass me with uncouth words as he usually does from time to time. He’s just quietly following me and Cang Wu to their respective cells.

And Yi OuMy, from start to finish, still has his timid and cowardly look, following behind Nuo La with his eyes drifting and shifting around like a frightened mouse.

They are abnormally well-behaved to the point of being bizarre.

—It’s because they’ve learned a lesson from Gu Yan and don’t dare to do anything rash anymore!

I try assuring myself, but the frigid and murderous glint that I inadvertently glimpse in Nuo La’s eyes made me uneasy—I have the hunch that they are still planning something in their hearts.

“What’s wrong? You don’t look well.” Cang Wu, who’s walking in front suddenly stops in his tracks, and the handsome face that has always maintained its signature expression showed a worried look.

“Uh… It’s nothing.” I shake my head and reluctantly squeeze out a smile.

“Is it because of Nuo La and Yi OuMu? After all, you’ve been screwed over so badly by them just a few days ago, it’s hard to see them again, isn’t it?” Cang Wu sighs lightly. Because of the cold weather, white smoke puffs out of his mouth, and his hands unconsciously plunge into the pockets of his coat to keep warm.

“Um… Probably…” I imitate Cang Wu’s movements, the weather is truly too cold.

“Probably? You… have other things on your mind?”

I remain silent, neither shaking my head nor nodding— but indeed, there are other things running on my mind.

Cang Wu gazes at me, shyly revealing a very rare smile, “It doesn’t matter if you don’t want to say it, but if you do, you can find me anytime if you want to talk to someone, OK.”

I freeze at first because of Cang Wu’s smile, and I can’t help but smile along with it, “Thank you, Cang Wu.”

Cang Wu is really a very nice person.

“You’re welcome, I…” Halfway through Cang Wu’s words, his voice abruptly stops as his sight focuses in a particular direction.

“What’s the matter?” I ask, following Cang Wu’s gaze and turning my head to where he is staring.

A young man stands far from us, some distance away. He looks around in nervousness, his head raising and lowering repeatedly, before finally looking at me helplessly.

“Josh?”

Josh’s appearance makes me a little nervous. I can’t help but look around to see if anyone else is present. Fortunately, most of the prisoners hang out in the sports field during their release time. The surrounding is quiet and deserted, only me, Cang Wu, and Josh are present, and I certainly know that Cang Wu will not betray me.

Cang Wu and I exchange glances, and after he slightly sighs, we both walk towards Josh.

“Big brother Ye ShiJiu…” As soon as Josh notices me walking to him, his eyes immediately redden and his tone chokes up as he cries my name.

I can’t help but feel a little sad when I see Josh, whom I treat like my own brother, show such a sorrowful expression full of guilt, aggravation and debt.

“What’s wrong, why are you here?”

“I was about to go to the sports field when I saw you guys walking past, so I followed along and I also have something to tell you…” Josh uses his sleeve to wipe his red eyes, but the more he wipes, the redder they become.

“Sure, tell me what it is…” With my brows slightly furrowing, I reach out and am about to put my hand on Josh’’s shoulder, but Cang Wu suddenly halts me up.

“Ye ShiJiu, wait!” Cang Wu blinks at me first before turning to Josh, “Josh, are you alone? Where’s Li, he’s not with you?”

“Li is in the cell, still sleeping, I came out alone.”

“Oh, okay…” Cang Wu stares solemnly at Josh for a sec, before shifting his sight to me and saying, “But to be on the safer side, I think we should find a corner to talk, right?”

I nod my head, and together with Cang Wu, we pull Josh to a more secluded corner.

Cang Wu lets both Josh and I talk alone, as he himself moves aside to help us keep watch.

I let out a sigh of relief and look down at the teenager who is slightly shorter than me, “Alright, what is it you want to tell me?”

“Brother Ye ShiJiu, the wound on your face… and the reason for taking several days of sick leave in a row is because of Li, right? Because he bumped into you and me alone that day, so he got upset and went after you, didn’t he?” Josh grabs my arm and shakes it in anxiety.

I fall silent as I lower my eyes to the ground.

“Sure enough, it’s him again…” The bean-sized tears in Josh’s eyes begin to fall, and his honey-colored pupils are laden with complex emotions of both anger and sorrow.

Josh sobs, his thin shoulders peculiar to young people trembling, and his always sunny, cheerful handsome face is now stained with tears raining from his anguished eyes, which can make anyone seeing him become heartbroken.

I sigh lightly and am just about to reach out to pat his head, but I’m caught off guard when the young man in front of me suddenly kneels down towards me.

“Josh!”

“I’m sorry! It’s all my fault, it’s all my fault you…sobs… If only, if I had refused your kindness that day and avoid, avoided spending time alone with you, this would not have happened… I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Josh sobs and apologizes to me again and again.

“Come on, stand up!” I grip Josh and try to lift him up.

I have this feeling that if I allow him to kneel like this any longer, as if at any time, he will truly collapse in front of me and disintegrate into pieces.

“Sorry, sorry… sobs… It’s my fault, it’s all my fault!” Josh repeats these words like a broken recorder, his red and swollen eyes breaking my heart into pieces.

I haul Josh into my arms and pat his trembling back.

“Josh, it’s not your fault at all! How could this be your fault? It’s Li who’s wrong—”

“Brother Ye ShiJiu, if I can, I really want to go back to when I still didn’t know Li…” Josh leans into my arms, my neck wet with his hot, wet tears and his heavy voice filled with deep remorse, “But it’s impossible, I was the one who approached Li first, and I was the one who made Li pick on me and become possessive of me… It’s because of me that Li has done so many bad things, and I cannot shirk the blame—I have become responsible for Li and what he does! I must take responsibility!”

“Josh… You’re saying things like this that are too heavy and harsh for you!” I pull away from Josh and gaze at him with a genuine and sincere heart.

Josh wipes away his tears with his sleeves, and his brows furrow faintly, looking extremely downcast.

“No, I know it best myself, and it is not harshness but all truth—” Josh’s eyes are full of helplessness.

“Josh, I don’t understand, I really don’t understand…”

I don’t know what to say anymore.

“I’m sorry, I really feel sorry for you.” Josh bends down and deeply bows his head towards me, “I will take the responsibility for this… Also, I’m sorry, Brother Ye ShiJiu— that’s what I really want to tell you.”

I heave a sigh.

“Josh, you are so stupid— how can you take responsibility to this?” I ask, while Josh is still bowing his head to me, silent, leaving an unknown answer.

****

Gu Yan kisses me on my cheek, his locks of sweaty orange-red hair sticking to my face, sticking along with the unique and rich floral scent of his, which is intensely intoxicating. After our bedtime love affair, a layer of pink and tender redness mists over on his white cheeks, as if he’s slightly drunk, a kind of dazzling and intoxicating beauty.

He really is such a beautiful person—I thought to myself.

“Why do you keep staring at me? You look so silly.” Gu Yan chuckles lightly, gently licking and kissing my shoulder.

“Nothing…” I gently push Gu Yan away, barely propping up my sore body and rolling out of the bed, but the weird sensation of wet, sticky fluid flowing between my thighs makes it a little unbearable for me.

I let out a sigh slowly and sullenly, and then immediately trot to the bathroom with strange steps, “I’ll go take a shower.”

Gu Yan does not answer, the answer I received is the rustling sound behind me and light and steady footsteps walking towards me. I know what he wants to do, so without looking back, I proceed into the shower and turn on the hot water. Before long, Gu Yan follows in, and the space in the shower room suddenly becomes much smaller.

I peer at Gu Yan before sighing very lightly and gently, however, what I do not expect is for this action to arouse his displeasure.