CHAPTER 46

When Gu Yan is sitting on the bed without making any noise, silently flipping through the book he said he didn’t want to read earlier, it means that he is in a bad mood— this is what he looks like when I arrive at his cell this night.

Maybe he’s still angry about what happened this morning?

I heave a sigh slowly.

“Gu Yan.”

“Hmm?” He casually responds.

“Are you serious about what you said to Li? You said if Li troubles me again… you will take revenge on Josh.” I ask, folding my fingers over each other through my white gloves.

“Yes, is there a problem?” Gu Yan stops flipping through the book and lifts his lake-like green eyes to stare at me.

“But Gu Yan, Josh is innocent!”

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“R jdso, ps obyv?” Qw Zyd nzsplp vbl cssj yde rwvp kv ypkel. “Mbyv twu Nk kp y clypv. Ls sdl nyd nsdvasz bkx, yde clnywpl bl kp wdnsdvaszzyczl, ds sdl nyd es yduvbkdt vs bkx, ps bl okzz oydvsdzu kdqakdtlp yde vayxrzl sd svbla rlsrzl’p vlaakvsau.”

“Eszq, Nk byp yzalyeu kdqakdtle sd psxlvbkdt kd xu esxykd… yde vbyv’p usw. R nyd’v zlv Nk nsdvkdwl vs awkd usw.”

“…”

“Nk kp dsv y twu obs okzz sclu kq usw bwav bkx sa kdvkxkeyvl bkx. Mbyv okzz sdzu yde nlavykdzu pvkxwzyvlp bkx vs clnsxl xsal cawvyz yde yaastydv. Tkp rlapsdyzkvu, sd vbl nsdvayau, xyjlp bkx byhl ds olyjdlpp yp bl lmkpvp— Tsolhla, sdzu pwnb y Kspb kp bkp ckttlpv olyjdlpp kd bkp zkql.”

“R wdelapvyde vbyv, cwv Kspb eked’v xlyd vs kdhszhl xl. Mbl rasczlx kp Nk. Rq usw alyzzu bwav Kspb clnywpl sq xl, kv oswze cl vss wdqyka vs Kspb!”

“Rv eslpd’v xyvvla oblvbla kv’p qyka sa wdqyka, Eszq… Ms cl bsdlpv okvb usw, R esd’v nyal ycswv Kspb yv yzz.”

“Jwv R es!” Yu hsknl aykplp wdnsdpnkswpzu, “Zsw jdso obyv? Kspb yzps byp y uswdtla pkpvla swv vblal. Mblu ds zsdtla byhl vblka ryaldvp yde yal kd y pkxkzya pkvwyvksd vs xkdl, obknb xyel xl qllz nzspl vs bkx. Gzvbswtb usw vsze xl dsv vs pvyu yoyu qasx bkx, R fwpv nswzed’v ktdsal bkx! Jlnywpl kq lhld R ktdsal bkx, bl’zz sdzu byhl bkxplzq zlqv, bkp plzq vbyv nyd sdzu cl vkle vs Nk’p qllv!”

“Eszq, vbyv’p nyzzle shlaoblzxkdt puxryvbu. Mss xwnb puxryvbu okzz sdzu zlye vs ekpypvla kd vbl lde.” Qw Zyd’p talld lulp lhldvwyzzu lmwel nszedlpp sq y qallgkdt rskdv.

“No, things are not what you said they are!”

“That’s it! You know it, you’re just running away from it!”

“No, it’s not!”

“Wolf… You’re testing my patience.”

“But…”

“Enough!” Gu Yan coldly rebukes, and rushes forward and pins me down on the bed, “You really want to settle accounts with me, don’t you? Fine, let’s settle this score!”

Gu Yan flumps on my waist, pressing his palm on my forehead and on my abdomen, preventing me from getting up.

“This matter is all your fault! I warned you not to approach Josh, but not only did you approach him, you didn’t even tell me when you got into a fight with Li… I thought you’re already listening and relying on me even just a little bit, but at heart you are still very self-righteous! Do you want to force me to abandon you and leave you to fend for yourself in the Absolute Wing Hall?” Gu Yan’s mouth arches with coldness, his eyes gleaming with coercion.

My body begins to tremble violently because of the word “abandon”.

—Being “abandoned” by Gu Yan never occurred to me, because Gu Yan always vowed that he would keep me by his side and draw me within the realm of his power.

Only now do I realize I had such a great fear of being ‘abandoned’ by Gu Yan.

“You… You’re too despicable, Gu Yan, you brought me into the Absolute Wing Hall…” My brain is in turmoil, smothered with emotions stuck in my chest, pressing down on me and making me unable to breathe. I even start to babble, and the words come out as if they are coming from someone else’s mouth. I try to force myself to stop, but the weak and shaking voice keeps escaping my mouth, “You know full well that I am incapable and in need of your protection… You know it, you clearly know it, and yet you brought the ignorant me inside. You can’t…”

“Are you afraid? Afraid that I will throw you away?”

The hand that Gu Yan used to press my forehead slides down to gently cup my face, and everywhere his fingers caress becomes burning hot, including the corners of my eyes.

“Look at you, your eyes are red, and you look like you’re about to cry. So wronged ah? It seems that you’re really scared… This is very comforting, it means you’ve gotten to the point where you can’t leave me— at the very least.” Gu Yan, who has been expressionless this whole ordeal, smiles again, finally melting a little of the coldness that had frozen on his face.

I stare blankly at Gu Yan as I feel a warm liquid sliding past the corner of my eye, scalding my cheek before leaving a cold remnant.

“Ahhh, you’re really crying? I’m sorry, don’t be nervous, I lied to you, there’s no way I’d throw you away.”

“You… so… despicable…” I put my arm across my eyes, covering my eyes while also blocking Gu Yan’s view. I have enough, more than enough cowardice and incompetence nakedly exposed to Gu Yan’s pair of emerald green eyes.

I cover my eyes tightly, the excess moisture is then absorbed by the fabric of my sleeves, yet some still overflow from the corners of my eyes. My body is like a wild dog after falling into the water, trembling and curling up.

Gu Yan bents down, cups my head, and drops a few soft kisses on my forehead.

“Who is the despicable one? In fact, I always feel that you must have been so sure in your heart that I would not discard you, because you are the only thing left in me— you and I. There is always the possibility that you will leave me, but not the possibility that I will leave you… You say, who exactly is such a despicable one?” Within this quiet room, I hear Gu Yan’s faint, inaudible sigh.

Gu Yan’s words make me perplexed, I don’t understand what he means.

The gentle warm breeze from the heater mixed with a hint of coldness brushes my suddenly bare abdomen, causing me to get goose bumps.

Gu Yan’s soft locks of orange-red hair slips across my chest, while the tip of his tender red tongue, hotly and wetly, licks along the curves of my chest and abdomen.

My slightly darker-than-wheat-complexion and Gu Yan’s almost milky white skin are in sharp contrast under the intertwining of our bodies. Gu Yan’s skin is as smooth and delicate as high-grade silk, and the friction between our chests and legs against each other causes me to shiver lightly.

Gu Yan raises his head from my belly, and the moment he meets my eyes, he bends over and grabs my hands, intertwining it with his, and kissing me gently. It is a habit he developed some time ago.

Pulling my closed legs apart, Gu Yan’s fingertips soaked in lubricating fluidI skillfully slip into my crotch with ease. This weird feeling of being invaded and lubed with fingers rotating inside me has now become familiar to me.

“Mmm…” I let out a muffled murmur.

Expanding, then withdrawing, accompanied by the sound of Gu Yan’s light breathing and my own disordered breath, Gu Yan hoists my legs up to my shoulders, grabs his already erect desire, and presses it against my rear end and slowly pushes in.

The sense of being stretched and filled always makes me want to cry in the past, but now, I don’t know what I should feel anymore— perhaps confusion and bewilderment, yet at the same time, I am getting more and more lost in this sexual affair with Gu Yan.

I do not know where my original hatred for Gu Yan has gone… The more I understand Gu Yan, the more familiar I am with Gu Yan, and the closer I get to Gu Yan, the more I depend on Gu Yan… The more I couldn’t find it, the more I lost track of these hatreds and could only cling on to a lingering feeling torn from them, thinking I still have a sense of rejection towards Gu Yan.

After confirming that my body has gradually relaxed and able to smoothly accept the foreign yet familiar visitor, Gu Yan began to swing his slender but powerful waist, thrusting back and forth with vigor. 

I clutch on to Gu Yan’s arms tightly, my body swaying up and down with his rhythm as his fair skin is left with pink finger marks because of me.

Grasping my shoulder, Gu Yan squeezes my body onto himself, as if he wants me to melt onto his body while he slams deeply inside me. As I pant and let out an impatient and muffled grunts, Gu Yan strokes my excited organ, as he had done every time before. With his fingertips wrapping and caressing around, gentle yet wicked at the same time, forcing me to accept the surges of pleasure he brings, and finally making me reach the peak as I convulse and drown in pleasure.

I am left gasping for breath as the embers of my orgasm lingers, panting from weakness and exhaustion.  And then Gu Yan suddenly pulls me up, hugs me and makes me sit on his lap, changing my position before he continues attacking again, this time, pushing deeper and deeper into the depths of my body.

“Gu Yan…” I whisper softly, along with some hidden complaint.

Gu Yan embraces me and touches my ears and temples, his rugged breath fanning on me like the warm summer breeze in my hometown, with a touch of coolness.

“Wolf, I want to keep you by my side for the rest of my life, that’s what I had decided long ago…” he says, and then comes inside my body…

****

I slowly open my eyes, feeling the warmth of the feathered pillow I am resting on, and smelling the enchanting fragrance of flowers it exudes. My eyes shift from the orange-red hair flowing over the pure white pillow up to the face of its owner, who’s lying on the bed in the same position as me.

Gu Yan’s long eyelashes are akin to a fan of feathers with his eyes closed, his beautiful face rests quiet and seems at peace, the sound of his breathing so faint it’s almost inaudible with even puffs of air.

—Just like an angel.

Translator: Feeling slightly bittersweet from this chapter, and I also just realized we’re nearing the end, I suddenly felt sad >_<.