CHAPTER 18

Erza: Bonus chapter from another kind supporter! Thank you very much~ Mwuah!

Being hauled back to the real world from my nightmarish thoughts, I step on the last ladder and find myself still in the nightmare-like reality.

In the corridor, a row of windows shines with cold white light, which is obviously sunlight, but there is no temperature at all. Visually, it even seems to lower the already depressing temperature inside the Hall by a few more degrees.

After being violated for the second time, Gu Yan seems to be just getting the taste of it, and is still eating to his heart’s content. I have been forced many times these days. As long as Gu Yan is happy, he will press me, tear me, and force himself into my body at any time.

Therefore, whenever I come to see Gu Yan, my heart is full with helplessness and fear. I even hate my digital watch. Whenever it makes a beeping sound, my whole body would stiffen, making it hard for me to breathe.

I walk slower and slower towards Gu Yan’s cell with heavy steps.

When I arrive in front of Gu Yan’s cell, I just stand outside the cell door, not daring to make a move. Because I don’t know at what point he would extend his claws and choke me to death.

Gu Yan is as always, lying lazily on his bed, and dressed up in light casual clothes while flipping over through the book in his hands. Gu Yan often reads books. He is reading almost every time I see him. The books on the shelves in his cell are often replaced with new ones.

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Mseyu, vblal kp y ne rzyula sd vbl vyczl dlmv vs bkp cssjnypl, rzyukdt nzyppknyz rkyds xlzseklp.

“Qw Zyd, usw nyd ts esod qsa ekddla.” R pvyde yv vbl nlzz essa. Jlnywpl R oyp hkszyvle sdnl ulpvlaeyu, xu zltp yal y zkvvzl olyj yp R pvyde aktbv dso, yde xu ldvaydnl clzso kp yzps qykdvzu ynbkdt.

Mseyu’p vlxrlayvwal kp pzktbvzu zsola vbyd wpwyz. Tlal kd Gcpszwvl Ekdt Tyzz, vbl vlxrlayvwal okzz cltkd vs easr pbyarzu kd Xnvscla. G nbkzzu yka vbld tzkelp yaswde xu dlnj. Wsavwdyvlzu, R yx wple vs nshlakdt vbl ryzxp sq xu byde okvb obkvl tzshlp, obknb nyd xyjl xl qllz oyaxla. Xvblaokpl, R oswze lypkzu tlv y blyeynbl qasx vbkp rklankdt nszedlpp.

Mbl psqv pswde sq vbl rkyds psdyvy kp zkjl qzsokdt oyvla, nalyvkdt y tsse lnbskdt lqqlnv kd vbl iwklv nlzz. Mbl xwpkn kp qyxkzkya, cwv R nyd’v dyxl kv.

Yu blyav clyvp qypvla yzsdt vbl pswde sq vbl rkyds. Mbkp rkyds rklnl kp sqvld rzyule cu xu pkpvla obs byp clld zlyadkdt rkyds qsa y obkzl, cwv R nyd’v alxlxcla obyv oyp vbl vkvzl vbyv pbl vsze xl.

“Usxl kd.” Qw Zyd nzsplp vbl cssj. Gp wpwyz, obldlhla R nsxl, bl oswze ypj xl vs nsxl kd qkapv.

R clnsxl pkzldv qsa y zsdt obkzl clqsal pvlrrkdt kdvs vbl nlzz.

R byhl zlyadle olzz. Flhlayz vkxlp clqsal, R pvkzz pvwccsadzu alqwple vs sclu bkp saelap. R oswze fwpv pvyde swvpkel vbl nlzz essa, cwv yp pssd yp bl kxryvkldvzu srldle vbl essa yde nyxl swv, R oswze awd yoyu. Xdzu vs cl nywtbv cu bkx kd vbl lde, vbld bl oswze hkszyvl xl ​​kd vbl byzzoyu, aktbv oblal bl nywtbv xl. Rq R qsanlqwzzu alpkpv, R oswze sdzu lde wr okvb kdfwaklp yzz shla xu cseu.

But if I obediently follow him into the cell, Gu Yan would not necessarily take me, it depends on his mood.

So, I clearly understand that I am like a wild dog being trained by him. As long as I become disobedient, he would punish me. And if I am obedient, he could let me go if he likes.

──I feel more and more pathetic.

I don’t know Gu Yan’s mood today. He always looks lazy, but his temper is uncertain.

I stand by Gu Yan’s bed and stare at him warily. Not knowing if he would pin me down on the bed today, just like what he did yesterday, take off my uniform, and devour me miserably; or like the day before yesterday, just mock me and tease me a few times before letting me go downstairs to eat.

“Does this piano sonata sound good?” Gu Yan leans lazily on the pile of upright pillows. His light green eyes drift towards me, his long lashes forming a fan-shaped arc of gray shadows beneath his deep eyes in the faint circle of light.

I don’t answer because I don’t want to.

After the crescendo¹It means the highest/loudest point reached in a progressive increase of intensity. I didn’t use the words chorus or climax because crescendo was more appropriate in terms of instrumental only. If anyone has a more appropriate term you have in mind, feel free to suggest it to me. part of the piano, the sound gradually changes to a soft, elegant and warm melody. It is very nice to the ears, familiar and nostalgic. Suddenly, I feel a bit sour in my nose.

“This is Beethoven’s Piano Sonata, the Pathétique Sonata Second Movement. I like it very much.” At this time, Gu Yan’s frost-like eyes are flowing with some warmth, like the running water from a small melting ice bridge in early spring.

For a moment, I seem to see in him the glowing expression my sister has every time she looks back at me at the end of her performances.

My eyes become a little misty. I really miss her so much… 

I have to admit, the magic of music is really great! I ridicule myself. My ability to make fun of my suffering seems to have grown stronger and stronger ever since I entered the Absolute Wing Hall.

“I can play it. Why don’t I play it for you next time?” Gu Yan’s thin, pale and pink lips raise in a beautiful arc.

I do not answer, and I can’t help but mock and loathe him in my heart. Why do I have to listen to a b*stard who violated me play a piano?

The sound of the piano abruptly stops after a few gentle plucks. Silence and stillness return to the cell. I put my hands behind my back, my left hand clutching my right wrist, and my eyes never leaving Gu Yan. I nervously stand still, thinking that he would pounce on me while I am not paying attention.

“Wolf, come here.” After a long period of silence, he speaks up. His low voice should have been pleasant to the ears, but it makes the hair on my body stand on end and sends a vicious shiver down my spine.

Is he going to do it today? My legs begin to tremble slightly, and a sense of rejection wells up in my heart.

But I obediently move closer to him, then stop at the edge of the bed.

“Sit down.” Gu Yan’s commanding tone scares me most. Because my body seems to gradually develop a habit of obedience. As soon as he gives orders, my body would involuntarily obey and move in order to avoid being harmed.

I sit down on the edge of the bed and clasp my hands together, the white gloves cover my fingertips that are white from my tight grip.

When Gu Yan stands up and reaches out to put his hand on my shoulder, my heart immediately beats violently, and my breathing stops for a moment as my body begins to tremble unhelpfully.

“You’re shaking like this again?” Gu Yan moves a hand around my back, cupping the left side of my face. He moves his white and beautiful face close to my right face. His warm breath forms a mist on my face from the cold air, and his lips seem to be touching my face and my ear.

The tingling and unbearable sensation makes me want to shrink my neck.

“You really look like a Chihuahua like this, but you’re a large one.” He softly chuckles in my ear. Then, spreading from my earlobe all the way down to my nape, the hot and wet touch of his tongue makes me panic.

He’s going to do it! He wants to force me! Alarm bell rings loudly in my head, but my body cannot move. Under his several oppressions, I clearly understand that my strong resistance is ineffective, and only by listening and obeying will I not end up in a more miserable situation.

“Ah, you smell so good…” Gu Yan sniffs me like a leopard that has just only found its prey, as if to confirm that the prey it has found is edible.

I don’t have any special scent on me, only the faint scent of soap. In contrast, Gu Yan always has a very enchanting scent, which is similar to the fragrance of flowers. It’s not unpleasant and can even be described as a smell that makes people feel comfortable. But I hate this smell on him, because it always gets stronger whenever he defiles me.

When he unbutton one of the buttons on my uniform, my body reflexively jolts, and his actions come to a halt.

Gu Yan lets out two more teasing chuckles, which is a habit of his.

“Don’t worry, I don’t mean to force you now.” He rubs his cheek against the right side of my face, as if he is a cat gesturing affection and showing good-intentions.

Some of Gu Yan’s orange-red hair touches my lips. It’s as soft and smooth as it appeared on the outside. When he moves away, they peel off from my lips one by one.

He buttons me up again, which makes me highly suspect that he just wants to see me panic earlier. But anyway, my heart is greatly relieved.

“Come on, let’s go down to eat.”

“Okay.” My clenched palms finally relax a little.

My meal times begin to develop into just Teal and I, or just me sitting alone in a corner to eat. Originally, Gu Yan would force me to have dinner with him. But during those times, as long as he was beside me, I couldn’t eat the food properly. At the beginning, I felt so nervous that I had stomach pains because of my fear. I even ran to the toilet to throw up halfway through the meal.

Later, Gu Yan no longer forced me to have dinner with him, except when he was in a particularly good or bad mood.  Was that his little mercy for me? Although I do not bother to accept his kindness at all, I admit that I have to gladly accept it when the stomach pain almost became my habit.

Cang Wu had dinner with us on the first day I started working. After that, as Teal said before, he is almost detained by Tian Hai all day long, and sometimes he doesn’t even show up. Teal told me that Cang Wu was always in Tian Hai’s cell during his absence, and now I certainly understand what that means── because sometimes I also don’t show up because of Gu Yan.

Every time Cang Wu doesn’t show up, it will affect my mood. Because I will also think that every time I don’t appear, everyone understands what I am doing in Gu Yan’s cell!

Yaren also dined with us at the beginning, but afterwards, he would run to Gui Shang from time to time. Gui Shang always sits alone in the corner to eat, and other people don’t seem to dare approach him. There will always be empty seats around the place where he sits. Only Yaren would be happy to wrap himself around Gui Shang whenever he sees him appear.

The way Gui Shang and Yaren get along is very different from that of me, Cang Wu, Gu Yan, and Tian Hai. Yaren seems to like Gui Shang very much, but Gui Shang always rejects him thousands of miles away.

Now the only person who will come eat with me for dinner is Teal.

My impression of Teal actually took a big hit when I saw him take Josh to see Li that day. But after so many things that happened and learning about the internal operation of Absolute Wing Hall, I am not that repulsive anymore. And his innocent child-like baby face makes it hard for me to continue hating him.

Erza’s Note [Translator]: For anyone who wants to hear the Pathétique Sonata Second Movement, visit this → (link). According to what I’ve searched, Pathétique is believed to have been picked by the composer himself to convey the romantic and even sorrowful mood of the sonata. The first movement begins with a dark and dramatic introduction while the second movement is gentle → (information source). This piano piece really suits our YanLang uwu. The author absolutely did some great research for this.