The Final 100 Days

Chapter 2 Part 2


I dug out his diary.


It turns out I was his first love.



It turns out that he wanted to grow old with me.


I opened WeChat, scrolled around, and finally couldn’t help but tap open New Friends. There was a message from him.

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–Vzlypl, R esd’v byhl vbl kdvldvksd vs ekpvwac usw. R fwpv oydv vs pll usw.

–Dkl Ykd, R osd’v ekpvwac usw.

–Vzlypl, kq R xkpp usw, obyv pbswze R es?

–R xkpp usw ps xwnb. Uyd usw vyzj vs xl

–Dkl Ykd, kv bwavp ps cye

–Pke usw elzlvl xl clnywpl usw eked’v oydv vs pll xl? R’x clttkdt usw, esd’v cl zkjl vbkp

–R’x psaau, R pbswze byhl nblakpble usw obld usw zshle xl

R byhld’v plld ydu sq vblpl xlppytlp cynj vbld.

Right now, seeing these one by one, I feel as if I’m being dragged into hell by someone, as if someone is digging into my heart.


Why was I so willing to treat him like this?

Why was I so willing to bully him like this?


Today, I received a package at home. It was sent from the hospital. It was full of painkillers. I dialed the phone on the package. A male doctor answered the phone.

I said I’m Lin Rui’s family member. He was silent for two seconds and asked, “… Something happened to him?”

I looked at the rosewood urn and said softly, “Mn, Doctor, I received the medicine you sent me.”

He was silent for a long time before he said, “Since he’s gone, just send them back. It’s no use keeping them anyway.”

I counted the medicine bottles in the courier box. One, two, three, four. Seven, eight, nine. Ten bottles.

A lot of painkillers.

My Ruirui, exactly how painful was he?


What was I thinking when he said he was listless?


It’s a little hard to remember.

I have always been feeling dizzy recently. I also haven’t gone to the company. I sit at home and read his diary over and over again. His love was introverted, but rich.

Only me, who regarded the jade as a pebble and did not know its value.


I found his phone, it was already dead. I found a charger and charged it. I went to the kitchen and made a bowl of egg-fried rice.

He likes to eat egg-fried rice and likes bullying me with egg-fried rice.

Every time after a quarrel, he would cook egg-fried rice. He would be happy to see me unhappy. Before, when I saw him like this, I just want to drag him onto the bed and fiercely teach him a lesson.

I can’t see it now.


I opened his phone and opened his WeChat.

I saw that he sent me many messages, but each one was preceded by a red exclamation mark1for those who don’t know wechat – if you sent a message to someone who’s not your friend, you will get a red exclamation mark and a message saying you aren’t friends and stuff. The system reminded him tirelessly, but he still sent them tirelessly.

“Today, I thought about the crab roe tofu shop at the school gate. I have already been unable to get up for two days. I’m craving it so bad. If you receive this message, buy me some, I’m so hungry.”


“It’s so weird. I would gain a little bit of strength if I thought of sending you a message, but I just don’t have any strength to get out of bed. Will I become a ghost who died of hunger? Haha [sad]”

“Today, I fertilized Ruirui’s tree, but it’s still not as tall as me. I wonder if I can wait until it’s taller than me before I die. I’m looking forward to it a little.”

“Xiao Xiao Le updated again. Apparently it’s some kind of holiday today. They gifted an ugly profile pendant. Ah, it’s so ugly. Today, I miss you again. It’s raining. I don’t know whether you brought an umbrella.”

“I went to see a psychiatrist today. It was so embarrassing. The doctor said that I was out of control, but I don’t feel it. On the way back, I went to Doctor Li’s and stole a pot of tea leaves home. If you were here, I would’ve given you a share. It’s a pity that you weren’t here [twirls] then it’s all mine.”

There were too many. I couldn’t bear to read it all at once.

I only slid to the last message.

I saw him say, “I looked at Weibo. It’s my fault. I’m sorry. I won’t bother you anymore. I’m sorry, Xie Min. I didn’t know I was so unlikable. I’ll change in the future. Even if I can’t change it, I won’t bother you after I die. Haha [happy]”


I want to ask the doctor whether I can use those painkillers.


He called me so many times and sent me so many messages.

I blocked him and didn’t want to receive any of them. Now, looking at the messages he didn’t succeed in sending and the calls that didn’t go through, my heart hurts as if it cracked apart. I don’t understand why I did this to him, how I could do this to him.


How painful must he be?

He was so ill that he was about to die, how could I stab him?


It thundered.

I wonder if he’s afraid.

He used to be afraid of the thunder the most. He would nest in my arms every time. He would whine, “Immortals overcoming tribulations are so scary.”2xianxia reference; when immortal goes through tribulation, they get striked by thunder


He laughs every time I say that.

I haven’t seen him laugh for a long time.


When we were still in school, he always ranked first in the examinations and had an entitled personality. His classmates didn’t like him. Only me, who fell in love with him at first sight, clung to him. After clinging to him for some time, he easily became soft-hearted. He said it’s okay to kiss, but I should pass the college entrance exam first.


Later, we went abroad to get married. He happily bought 100kg of wedding candies and distributed them all around the company. In the end, he came home and complained to me that the cost was a little high. Suggesting, why don’t we eat egg-fried rice every day in the future?

I kissed him, he immediately shut his mouth.


I found his will.

He is a fool who turned stupid from studying too much. His will was written like an essay. He even had a first draft and a second draft. The second draft hasn’t been completed yet.

I read it once. It was a little funny.

When I read it again, I cried.


I miss him too much.


I do love him, but I didn’t treat him well.

However, there’s nothing I can do. My Ruirui has disappeared, he doesn’t want me anymore.


I used his phone to friend myself.

I sent him an “I love you”.

And another, “Wait for me.”


First draft of will–

Wishing Xie Min happiness.

Second draft of will–

Wishing Xie Min happiness, wishing myself…

I haven’t figured it out yet. I’ll decide when I’m dead.


–Wishing for you to wait for me to love you again.


The author has something to say:


As a matter of fact, I have almost forgotten the content of Ruirui’s chapter3the 1st and 2nd chapters were written 3 months apart. But I suddenly want to write about Xie Min today. I didn’t write it well because there are a lot of things he doesn’t know. There’s no way for him to know and I also don’t want him to know. (I think that if he knew, it’ll feel unworth) Like when Ruirui was almost dead lying in bed, he was still thinking about him. He won’t know about this and there’s no way for him to know. Therefore I didn’t want to write about Xie Min, mainly because I don’t know how to write it well.

There is no crematorium. The person is already thoroughly dead. There is only self repentance left.

If I have a chance, I’ll rewrite it. I’m unable to write it today [disappointed]

In addition, Xie Min only has up to 35 because it means that he only lived up to 35 years.

The author commented on the novel page:

Just a few words

1. I didn’t plan to write the second chapter. It’s only because I kept dreaming about Xie Min at that time that I wrote the second chapter.

2. Xie Min is at fault, Ruirui is also at fault.

3. Both of them are like mutes. I think this is very normal. Everyone has different personalities. Whatever you think might not be the case. You are not him, and you can’t understand what he is thinking. Not everyone will be honest when they fall in love. At least there are people around me who aren’t. Most of them insist on reporting good news rather than bad news. For various reasons, it can even be said that their love and affection are killed off because of tedious miscellaneous details. Although “they are already lovers, what is there that even exists between them that they’re unable to understand each other?” can also be said, some of them just aren’t able to.

4. Why did Xie Min say that he lied to Ruirui in Chapter 2? Because he is deceiving himself. Why did he divorce? Because he wants to part peacefully. Since Lin Rui doesn’t love him anymore, he decided to do Lin Rui a favor. From Ruirui’s perspective, we feel that Xie Min broke out all of a sudden. He suddenly did not want a single thing like a psychopath, but in fact, this wasn’t the case. This was like boiling water, there was a warming process. Not saying that he is right, but he did not just suddenly make up his mind to part. He has just been feeling disheartened for the past ten years. He could not feel even 1% of Lin Rui’s love for him. Lin Rui is a dominant, domineering person who won’t take no for an answer. He felt that his lover doesn’t trust him at all. The reason he sold the document was just so that he could retaliate against Lin Rui. Call him childish or brain dead if you want but he just feels that this feeling of being guarded by his lover is very uncomfortable. Therefore he wanted to anger Lin Rui before the divorce. He blocked Lin Rui’s contact information because he doesn’t want his heart to soften. He doesn’t want to return to Lin Rui. Since he decided to part peacefully, he doesn’t want to go back. Since he thought that Lin Rui probably truly killed off the love he had for him after this long period of time, why bother wasting each other’s time? He just didn’t think that Ruirui was ill.

5. Why didn’t he notice that Ruirui was ill? Because he barely came home. Ruirui’s illness was not very obvious in the early stages. When Ruirui had no energy and didn’t want to talk to him, he regarded it as the silent treatment.

6. He told Xiao Chen to be his mistress, probably because he wanted to gamble for the last time. At the time of divorce, when he went abroad with Ruirui, he said that he’ll consider it a vacation. Originally, he could have just sent the files over. The moment Ruirui agreed to divorce, he gave up completely. If Ruirui said he wouldn’t divorce and even asked him to stay, if he showed jealousy rather than ridicule, he might’ve also been reluctant to divorce.

7. Ruirui had never said anything bad about Xie Min, which means that Xie Min was really good to him during the time of their loving relationship. He just wanted Xie Min to be happy after he died. He did not blame Xie Min for treating him like this. He knew he was at fault, but there was no way to recover from it.

8. Ruirui’s original family is awful. Only his biological mother loves him, which is why he avoids mentioning this to Xie Min. He even deliberately turned a deaf ear to Xie Min’s demands in this regard. He also gave no explanations. He has always been very dominant. He’s actually the one with the leading position with Xie Min. It has just been this case many times, it’s not that he doesn’t consider Xie Min’s feelings, but that he thinks that this isn’t a big deal and Xie Min wouldn’t care. He is also not very good at expressing his affection, he’s more on the introverted side. In the later periods, Xie Min felt regretful and wanted to reform. As a result, he neglected many things. He thought that Lin Rui didn’t love him, so everything he thought later went in this direction. In the end, he let it slip by.

9. It might be immature for two big ol’ men to end up like this, but if they really did love each other… they will lose their rationality. Their normal way of thinking might even change. It’s a pity, these two people are probably indeed not that suitable.

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  1. smacsleuther

    in the notes the author said ‘he only lived up to 35 years’ so did he commit un-alive? Sorry if I phrased it this way

  2. U_u7

    Damn I knew it when I saw the title it wasn’t going to end well but here I am with puffy eyes asking myself why did I do this to myself?? TT^TT Communication its always communication that does this to relationships fsjjfdksjfgnklfk gets me so frustrated!!!!! Anyways this was tragically good, thank you for translating!!