Chapter 80 Honey Pomelo (2)

The third day of their stay in Chang’an, they received a letter which was hurriedly delivered by Liu Fuyi. There was still residual moisture left on it from it having rained for several days in a row and the thin paper had been wrinkled by dew.

Mu Yao’s trembling fingers gave away her eagerness as she unfolded the letter, but after glancing through it, she only smiled with a pale face. Without uttering a single world, she then folded the paper four times and locked it in a box.

“Sister.” Mu Sheng’s black eyes followed her face and his nerves began going taut. “What is it?”

She lowered her eyes, the mole at the corner glimmered under the light, and her skin seemed to be transparent. “It’s nothing. The search can’t be delayed so we’re going to Town Wufang first.

Mu Sheng’s knuckles rapped on the small box, “Let me take a look.”

“Let’s not worry about him, let’s play a round first…”

“Let me take a look.” He didn’t budge at all from his position, a cold look swirling in his eyes as he made a rare display of willfulness in front of his sister.

The smile which was hanging on by a thread on Mu Yao’s face, vanished completely. Her hand loosened up listlessly and she slumped back in her chair.

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An unusual coldness slowly accumulated in his eyes, “Sister, are you still going to wait for him this time?”

Mu Yao raised her head in surprise:,“What do you mean?”

His turn turned even colder, “Will Sister forgive him every time he does this?”

“Forgive?” She wrinkled the space between her brows. “Fuyi hasn’t done anything to be sorry for, why would I need to forgive him?”

He lowered his eyes, his soft and beautiful eyelashes hiding the writhing disgust in his eyes, “Young Master Liu never avoids situations which could be misunderstood, is half-hearted, indecisive, and never rejects any of the girls who approach him. Sister, is this the person you like?”

Mu Yao froze in shock then began trembling from the force of her anger as his words sank in, “ A’Sheng, how could you speak so harshly?”

The young man stood up abruptly and looked down at Mu Yao. After a period of silence, he sneered, seeming to have reached breaking point. “Harsh?”

Mu Yao also hurriedly stood up. The familiar innocence and kindness in the gleaming black eyes of the person before her quickly faded, and in its place, an unfamiliar surliness and coldness emanated from his entire body, completely unlike usual.

Mu Yao hesitated, her tone lowered, “What exactly are you trying to say?”

“The words I’ve wanted to say for years, doesn’t Sister already know?” His eyes seemed to have frozen over, the mocking curve of his lips becoming more and more obvious. “If he really liked you, he would have rushed to marry you. Even now, he continues to delay the wedding using all sorts of excuses. Have you never considered giving up on him?”

“Mu Sheng!” Mu Yao had first received the blow and felt her scalp numb. But then she realized all of his words today were all about one thing but he purposely spoke of them in a very unseemly way, one rebellious sentence after another.

She had already been angry and he had only fanned the flames… She barely suppressed her anger and tried her best to explain, “Can you still not recognize it for what it is even after all these years? Fuyi is not as you said.”

She purposefully softened her voice, trying to alleviate the current atmosphere.

“So what?” He was merciless, pressing every step of the way, “The way I see it, you don’t need to rely on or beg him for anything.”

“Who’s begging him?” As Mu Yao’s self-esteem was suddenly trampled over, the flames in her heart roared back to the forefront and her expression went cold. “Although I am with Fuyi, it’s because I like him! When have I ever relied on him!”

She paused, but also felt that arguing with him was pointless—— because he didn’t understand.

Her tone eased, “Our feelings are mutual… A’Sheng, you still don’t understand.” She slowly sat down, feeling tired, and took a sip of water. She appeared to be trying to calm herself down, “You should go out first, let me have some quiet.”

“If I’m the one not understanding, does that mean Sister is the one who’s clear-headed?” Mu Sheng stood unmoving, seeming to be putting pressure on her.

“A’Sheng, leave…”

He turned a deaf ear to her words. He curled his lips slightly but there was no warmth in them, “I think Sister is the one who’s muddleheaded.”

“…” Mu Yao raised her head, looking at him with dull eyes, bitterly replying, “Okay then, even if it is as you’re saying, that I’m relying on Liu Fuyi, then if I leave him, tell me, who should the two of us rely on?”

Her voice rose higher and higher and had a trace of grievance and bitterness, “The Mu family has hardly managed to survive until this day. Do you think we’d still be able to have a place in the demon catcher world without Fuyi’s backing?”

Mu Sheng was silent for a moment, then gave a peculiar sneer, “That’s because—— Sister has never had enough trust in me.”

Mu Yao frowned, “How have I not trusted you?”

“I’ve said it before, I can protect you and avenge our parents. You’ve never taken me seriously. Rather than believe in me, you’d rather place your faith in Liu Fuyi.

“…” Mu Yao was so angered by him, she couldn’t help but laugh. “As your sister, how could I not know how strong you are? I taught you most of the spells you know, your weapons were mostly given by me, the techniques of the Mu family, even I only know a little of, let alone you! You can’t even beat me, how can you even face ‘her’…”

“I can.” He suddenly cut her off. Dark clouds churned in his eyes, he looked down at his hands, opening and closing them. He was breathing unsteadily but his voice was very quiet, “Not only can I beat you, but if you’re to search the entire world, very few people are enough to be called my opponent.”

Mu Yao looked at him carefully, the look on her face distorting. “And how will you achieve that, by removing your hair tie?”

She let out a grim laugh, “Not separating right and wrong, using any means regardless… after all these years, is that all I’ve taught you?”

A crack appeared in Mu Sheng’s expression, he thought he had hidden it so well with his obedient appearance.

Mu Yao pushed the cold tea to the side, her movements were a bit rough and some of the tea spilled over the side, wetting her fingers, “At the bottom of the fissure, the sachet that fell out of Miaomiao’s arms, you were the one who gave her that, right?”

Hearing this name, he abruptly raised his eyes. The surprise in them had not yet receded and he saw Mu Yao give a wan sneer, “Do you know what Ling Miaomiao said? She picked it up on the road.”

“…” Mu Sheng’s look quickly became complicated.

She had defended him like this without his knowing…

“Did you think I wouldn’t know what was in the scented sachet? Miaomiao was ignorant and helped you hide it from me, thinking it was for your good…”

“Sister…” He cut her off again, the expression on the young man’s face was completely shattered and the look in his eyes was dark and empty, “What I am, doesn’t Sister already know?”

He took two steps, not only were they light, but it looked as if he was toeing a dangerous boundary line.

“No matter how many fetters the upright sect places on me, it can never change the inferiority in my bones.” A smirk could be heard in his voice when he uttered the word ‘inferiority’, which was cold enough to send chills down the spine.

“Not only did I draw that reverse talisman, there were many more, so many that… I can’t even count them all.” He suddenly burst into a creepy bright smile.

“I used the forbidden technique many times and countless demons have died by my hands.” His long eyelashes fluttered down creating a small shadow under his eyes. But his youthful and handsome face was filled with a fierce malice. “I have paid for it and I owe countless blood debts. In front of Sister, I act like a tamed pet, gaining some pity—— Now I’ll tell Sister…”

Mu Yao got up abruptly, unsteadily backed up a few steps while feeling overwhelmed, her mouth slightly parted. For a while, she was unable to speak.

He raised his head, a broken smile hanging off his lips, “I’m telling you, Sister, I am dependable, much stronger than Liu Fuyi. And from now, we’ll still be siblings.

“It’s just taking revenge, if Sister wants to kill ‘her,’ I will have my ways. There are so many good people in the world. Sister can pick and choose as you like, why rely on a single Liu Fuyi…”

A tremble ran through her lips, she shook her head suddenly, “There’s no way.”

Her vehement refusal was the executioner’s blade which had already begun its descent, deciding his ending.

“There’s no way?” The young man laughed coldly and after a long pause, he pulled his mind back from wandering. “There’s no way you give up on Liu Fuyi, or…”

A slight trembling had already started in his fingers, which were hidden in his sleeves. But on his face, he still kept a pressuring smile, “Do I not deserve to stay at the Mu residence as your younger brother?”

Mu Yao’s face was ashen. She backed up. In the midst of her panic, she felt the dagger in her sleeve and discreetly grasped it in her hand. Only then did she calm down slightly.

“A’Sheng, you’re tired… go back and rest for now.

A stiff smile suddenly appeared on this very familiar face in front of him. It had a deliberately softened tone but the panic in the tail end of her words could not be hidden.

Mu Sheng’s steps came to a sudden halt, as if he had a bucket of ice cold water poured over him.

He would have rather have Sister give him a slap, and hit and scolded him as usual, letting him know that he was still her family, still her younger brother.

——Not at all like she was now, giving him a superficial smile, like an unarmed hunter who was resourcefully dealing with a wild beast.

Appearing like an opponent who was ready to take him on at any notice.

His gaze fell down to her trembling sleeve, which revealed the faint outline of her dagger’s blade.

The night was pitch-black, as if snowflakes covered the land as far as the eye could see, and transformed into countless icicles, which pierced every pressure point on his body.

——Turns out, Sister was like everyone else, fearful of his true colors.

Just that she was weak, so she didn’t dare to have a fall-out with him and could only pretend to get along with him, placating him.

It felt like something in his heart cracked.

The last bits of his pride, shattered into pieces, too small to pick back up.

He remained silent for a long time, brought his feet back, and turned around. It was as if the world had gone upside down, the bright days turning into dark nights. And he walked continuously in circles, roaming around this never-ending darkness.

Alone in this world, he no longer had any close family.

“Sister…you should also rest early.”

“Your true nature…your insides are different from your appearance, a vicious personality.”

“In any case, you’re on a completely different path from what Brother Liu and Sister Mu are on. They’re doing this for a good cause, for a righteous reason, willing to die for the common people. And you?”

“You and Sister Mu aren’t compatible, no one will understand you, your petals will fall from worry…”

He didn’t remember how he walked to Ling Miaomiao’s room. He could only recall being like a dying wanderer trapped in the desert, doing their best to reach an illusory oasis.

She used to be the vividly beautiful shore on the other side, drawing his attention little by little, but now, he was a kite whose string had been cut, a goose which had left the flock. Without the light on the shore, he could only remain a ship lost in the waves.

“Mu Sheng, you have a missing mother. You love her greatly. From when you were young, you grew up at your sister’s side, the only care you received was from her… maybe she just so happened to fill this void, maybe you transmitted your love for your mother onto…”

”If you were to raise that little tiger cub, you’d just be watching it without any claws or fangs. Without any ability to resist. Possessing it. Dominating it. Even while watching it become a joke of a cat, you’d still have this lingering fear in your heart that someday it will bite you in a counterattack. So, you guard against it, fearful of it… this is what you call pretending to care for something while actually fearing it.”

The cold light of the moon lit the corridor. Words she had told him in the past circled through his mind.

But, how could her words be so on the mark…every word as precious as a pearl, every sentence as wise as a proverb?

The door was suddenly pushed open, the candle flame on the table flickered, shattering the steady light in the room.

Ling Miaomiao put down her book and stood up with an astonished look on her face, “You’ve walked to the wrong room, your room is next door…”

Her words trailed off when she saw how off Mu Sheng’s face looked. He looked like a ghost, floating to her. What was unexpected was the young man who was a head taller than her… was trembling imperceptibly.

She stared at him blankly and began thinking. He seemed to have stayed with Mu Yao for longer than usual today, could it be…

She struggled to get the words out, “Di…Di…Did you confess?”

“No,” he finally answered after a long time. His gaze was unfocused, like a wanderer who had been frozen stiff from the cold, his reaction slow by half a beat.

“Didn’t…what’s that supposed to mean?” Ling Miaomiao was confused by his words.

Even his lips were trembling, “Didn’t means didn’t.”

But seeing the state he was in, he must have gone and the crack in their relationship must have happened. The moment of blackening was imminent. She didn’t have the leisure to be bothered by the fact that the black lotus had walked into the wrong room and quickly packed her things. Light on her feet, she slipped out of the room, “Then I won’t bother you, I’ll leave you be for now.”

Her clothes were suddenly pulled from the back, bringing her to a halt.

“…Where are you going?” His voice was very low and he sounded very tired.

Ling Miaomiao let him grab her clothes. A book was in her hands, with her back to him, she blinked, “I…I’m going to sleep in your room.”

Weird, don’t people usually want to be alone after having their confession rejected?

“…” He remained silent. After a long time, he was still unable to open his mouth to ask her to stay and only tenaciously held onto her clothes.

In the middle of the chaos in him, he could feel that if he allowed her to leave, he would almost certainly fall into darkness

Ling Miaomiao stopped, “Okay…Okay, I won’t leave.”

Only then did he let go. Miaomiao found a place for him to sit down, poured him a cup of hot tea, laid down on the table, and cautiously looked at him, “Drink something.”

He didn’t move. She placed his hands around the cup and kept them there with her hands over his, forcing him to feel the warmth of the cup.

Their hands overlapped momentarily, his hands enveloped in warmth. Mu Sheng lowered his long fine eyelashes. A trembling hand raised a teacup to his lips and he took a sip.

It was warm, flowing down his throat and straight to the bottom of his heart.

He was warming back up.

Ling Miaomiao had already slipped over to the bedside, bending over to make the bed. She straightened out the bed by patting it with her hands and turned her head around partway, “How about… you sleep over at my place tonight, yeah?

He nodded and allowed Ling Miaomiao to pull him over and settle him on her bed.

Ling Miaomiao laid on the edge of the bed and patted him from atop the quilt. Her eyes were bright as she told him, “Don’t think of anything. Sleep. I will watch over you.”

The author has something to say: Sheng: I didn’t, didn’t, I didn’t confess… [Angered to the point of crying]

TLN: Hi, it’s Z. I’m posting a Black Lotus chapter for the first time. Hurrah! Well, posting can be a pain when you’re picky on the details. Yeesh, the tln is getting too long. But really, what can I say…. SO CUTE! Sometimes Mu Sheng is like a guai baobao, an obedient baby or kid in this case. Ah, the Chinglish came out. Welp. Lemme just squeal over this story!

Also, someone tell @entropy to stop bringing up embarrassing things. Why are you pointing out the fact I roll around my bed in excitement while reading? Hm? Hm??? What was the saying again? Silence is golden? Yeah, I think that’s what it was. Silence is golden, Ent. 😉 Muahaha. I’ll just abuse the @ function for this ahem ahem. Okey-dok. Time to end the word vomit.