Chapter 119: Extra: Forgotten Lover (1)

The last time he saw Madam Xue, she was panting on the bed, her neck crooked. She was horribly thin, her cheekbones bulging like two peaks, tugging at her dry mouth. She stared at him with her bulging eyes, and looked like she wanted to say something to him. Just as her mouth began to move, tears suddenly came rolling down, wetting the silk cover of her jade headrest¹[1] Here’s how I’m guessing it looks. There should be a silk handkerchief on the jade headrest and her head rest on that..

He held her cold hand. The heat in her hand had begun to dissipate and her nails were pointed, like some kind of animal scales.

He remembered these hands. At the time of their wedding, the young bride had lifted the bridal veil by herself; her heavily made-up face had an uneasy look on it; the tips of her fingers were like peeled scallions²[2] Essentially, he’s saying that her fingers are pale and smooth, like the white stem of a scallion.

“Marquis……” Her teeth lightly touched her lower lip, and her tears flowed silently as her words faded with her breathlessness.

“Yes.” He replied, and slowly explained, “Yi’er, has already woken up.”

He had a premonition that Madam Xue would not survive the day, so his tone was particularly soft.

He had lied. Up until now, she had given birth to a son and a daughter, one near death and the other lost. But as she was reaching the end of her life, it was more suitable for her to hear some good news.

But she shook her head, as if this was not what she wanted to hear. Now for her, even choking with sobs had become especially difficult. He hesitated, then put his ear to her lips and listened to her final words.

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“Yyaiwkp……”

G oyax rwqq sq yka prayule sd bkp lyazscl sdzu vs ekppkryvl pssd yqvla.

Tla hsknl oyp vbkd, casjld, yde pllxle vs nsdvykd yd kdqkdkvl yxswdv sq nsdqwpksd yde alpktdyvksd: “Ebld usw zssj yv xl…… kv’p zkjl usw’al zssjkdt yv psxlsdl lzpl.”

Gp kq psxlsdl bye vyjld y dllezl yde fyccle kv kdvs bkp blyav, bl zssjle wr ycawrvzu. Jwv vbl pryaj bye yzalyeu zlqv bla wdqsnwple lulp, yde bla wdeakle vlyap olal pvkzz pbkdkdt caktbvzu.

Mbl assx qlzz kdvs y elye pkzldnl.

Mblu bye clld bwpcyde yde okql qsa plhld ulyap, yde vblu bye alprlnvle lynb svbla zkjl y qyxkzu, cwv kd vbl lde pbl bye sdzu zlqv bkx okvb pwnb yd ycpwae pldvldnl.

Tl oyp dso y dlo okesola, cwv bl oyp dsv yp blyavcasjld yp bl bye lmrlnvle. Tl fwpv qlzv y oyhl sq qyvktwl yde nszedlpp vbyv qzssele bkp cseu zkjl y vkeyz oyhl.

Tl pyv xsvksdzlppzu sd vbl letl sq vbl cle, vbl pwdzktbv pbkdkdt sd bkp zktbvzu pvwcczle fyo, swvzkdkdt vbl pxssvb zkdlp sq y nyalqwz rykdvla’p osaj, vbknj yde vbkd, fwpv aktbv.

The door creaked open and the butler’s voice was cautious, as if he had seen his disoriented appearance and did not know how to interrupt out: “Marquis……”.

“Out.” His back was to the door, interrupting him in a flat tone.

To others, his back seemed melancholy, as if frozen by grief.

But only he knew that it was in confusion.

His slender hand pressed hard against the place above his heart. The young man’s heart was still beating powerfully—— why was that?

The passing of his wife before him could not compare to the meeting of the strange demonic creature just a few days ago at Anding Gate. The moment those dark eyes met his, it felt like a sharp sword was thrust through his heart and lungs. The pain, so sharp, like the moment one wakes up from a dream. At that time, the two demon-catchers’ words were absolutely ridiculous: “This is your flesh and blood……”

He squinted, the leaves swaying outside the window.

Someone else?

2.

He once saw a Japanese puppet show. The stage was only a small square, and there were only five silk puppets.

He was forced my Madam Xue to watch that show. As it was the beginning of their marriage, he did not want to spoil the bride’s mood. The women were watching with great interest, but only he was staring at the puppets, lost in thought.

In the last playlet, the male couple and the female puppets were unfullfilled lovebirds who were willing to stay together at all costs, but in this new playlet, the same male and female puppets passed by each other as passersby who did not know each other.

——That’s right, they’re new characters after all.

He felt a tug on his clothes and turned his head around. Madam Xue’s eyes were timid as she quietly asked, “Marquis, do you not like it?”, amidst the shouts of approval.

His wife, whose shoulders were too thin, always looked a little soft and pitiable.　　

“——Indulging him.” Imperial Concubine Zheng huffed. She then intimately pulled over Madam Xue’s hand, “This is just the way he is, it’s best if you are happy watching it.”

As she said this, she turned her face towards him, and her well-cared-for face showed a bit of sternness: “Qing Huan, liven up a bit.”

“Yes.” He lowered his eyelashes and gave a perfunctory and distracted response. The light and shadows outside the stage were chaotic, and the light shone on his face, so magnificent that others would easily be understanding of his absentmindedness.

This marriage was a proper match, decided by their parents and introduced by a matchmaker. The older sister looked at Madam Xue with eager eyes, as if she were looking at a grand plaque.

Thinking about it this way, Madam Xue was also a pitiable person.

A playlet ended, and like a marionette, he properly brought his new wife out of the palace and back to his house.

He walked under the moonlight, his lapel covered with the distant moonlight, pulling out a slim and slender shadow. The servant who carried the lantern was far away and Madam Xue’s face was full of contentment. But out of the blue, she suddenly tugged on his sleeve.

Now that he thought about it, at the time, Madam Xue was just trying to act coquettish after having a few glasses of wine during the dinner.

He suddenly paused in his steps, as if this tug was a sudden push on a person close to falling asleep, scattering a confusing and frivolous dream.

He recalled a pair of hands.

A scallion-like pair of hands, first tugging at his sleeve, clenching it a little, then tentatively holding his wrist, with slyness and clingyness. He turned his hand back to clasp that cold pair of hands, and the person laughed silently.

She laughed with her head down, the breeze carrying the scent of osmanthus ruffled the two soft wisps of her hair. the curves of her eyes were punctuated by long lashes and her cheeks were pink.

He was not able to wait for her to raise her eyes.

Madam Xue saw his face change and thought he didn’t like being touched, so she removed her hands in embarrasment. When the servant who was leading the way saw that they were not following, he came back to call him, and he sobered up from the unstable hallucination.

——That wasn’t Madam Xue.

He looked up blankly in the evening breeze, recalling over and over again the women he had seen, from the maids and even to the courtesans, none of whom were her.

“Does the Marquis have another headache?” The servant supported him, “As Her Majesty said, after taking medicine for a little longer, you won’t have headaches anymore.”

A year ago, he fell off a horse and was left with severe sequela. He would have headaches from time to time, and his elder sister told him that before he fell into a coma, he had an unserved position as an official and had yet to marry the person he loved.

His life seemed to be split from this point on. The man who woke up seemed to have to finish the unfinished business of another person.

So he became an official, married Lady Xue, and his days were like a long dream. Be it joy or suffering, it was all floating on the surface, unable to penetrate to the depths of his heart.

It was not until the wedding night, when the bride herself lifted the veil, the candlelight reflected on her fingers, snow-white hands squeezing the red wedding handkerchief, it was not until that moment that he truly accepted that this was the one he loved with all his heart.

But if she, was the one, then who was the one in his hallucination?

3.

All knew that Marquis Qingyi was aloof and indifferent, and because he had no intention of pursuing an official career, this casual job was performed to a mediocre degree, doing only his share of work and never socializing with others.

Madam Xue was nearing the end of her pregnancy, so he had a legitimate reason to take a break from work and go home, avoiding the frivolous matters he did not want to deal with.

Even if you were immortal in the sky, once you became a husband and father, you had to assume some responsibility.

His warmth had never been too much, and was never overdone, but was just enough. He understood Madam Xue’s disappointment, but considered himself a cold-hearted and indifferent person.

It was only during that period that she was greatly satisfied. As if, only by staying home, could he stop the fretting of the worry-ridden woman.

Madam Xue had laid down for her afternoon nap, and the house was silently tinged with warm fragrance. He leaned on the windowsill, with his hand on his jaw. The warm light shone on his eyelashes, and he inadvertently dozed off.

A young woman, with her skirt gathered in her hands, stood with her back to him. Her ankles were slim, her calves straight, her bare feet on the carpet, half bent over, and when she turned sideways, she could see her protruding belly.

Unlike ordinary women who would have had heavy waists and walked like ducks, her pregnancy was like a ball had been tied to her slender body, making her frame seem even more delicate, as if it would snap if bent.

“What are you looking for?”

Strange, even though she was pregnant, he was still able to pick her up with one hand and scoop her off the ground with ease.

——He never thought it was possible for him to speak in such a tone, as if his voice was laced with honey.

Her slender arms wrapped around his neck, still looking around: “I’m looking for the cat.”

The voice was soft, numbing his ears.

“It was sent next door.”

“Why?” She twisted around, her face blurry.

He carried her to the bedside, still holding her hand and refusing to let go, brushing his finger over the tip of her nose: “You’re also pregnant now, aren’t you afraid it’ll bump into you?”

An incense burner was placed next to the bed canopy, and the smoke rose up like a small snake, slowly outlining countless clouds in the smoke. She sat quietly by the origin point of the cloud-filled smoke and looked at him. After hearing his words, she pursed her lips and smiled lightly, her eyes resembling an autumn lake.

The fan swept in the fragrant breeze, disturbing his dream.

He opened his eyes, and the harsh daylight made his eyelids burn red. His heart was still beating wildly, and his vision was blurred.

That kind of like…… that kind of like……

When he held her, he felt that his whole heart was filled up.

“Marquis, is it hot? The voice of the fanning woman was kept low. A white veil covered her face, and her beautiful eyes looked at him shrewdly, faintly revealing a look of expectation.

As soon as he turned his head back, he understood. Madam Xue slept a lot while she was pregnant and was still asleep inside the canopy, so a restless maid took the opportunity to approach him.

He did not know what kind of expression he had, but when he woke up, his extremely handsome eyebrows were full of emotion, gentle as if the hard mountains were covered with peach blossom trees. It was no wonder the maid had misunderstood something.

He is very familiar with rebuffing people who were interested, but as soon as he turned his head, he saw the fanned air stirring one corner of the thin white veil, and the words he was about to say were uncharacteristically left unuttered.

He looked at her, took the circular fan out of her hand, and without saying a word, picked up a pen, dipped it in ink, and sketched on it haphazardly, his mind still lingering on the dream he had just had.

“Marquis.” After the fan was taken away, the woman became even bolder, tucking her hair behind her ears and looking shyly at the red plum branches on the fan, “This servant wants a banana.”

His pen came to a still and he raised his eyes to look out the window. In the corner of the small courtyard outside the window stood a banana tree, downwind, its leaves split.³[3] Did you know, banana leaves can split due to wind?

——There were more strokes needed to draw a banana tree compared to regular trees, and it also took longer to draw.

He casually drew a few strokes; suddenly, his heart palpitated. Dimly, dream and reality were intertwined. Snowflakes were drifting in the courtyard, and he held a cold hand, leading her to draw the banana tree outside in the courtyard, first shading, then outlining, bringing the withered and dying leaves of the banana tree back to life.

“It’s cold, so let’s go back soon. Be careful of the cold. He put down the brush, but she still refused to comply, holding onto the brush, eyelashes fluttering, rather petulant: “Not cold.”

“You know, it snows all year round at Qilin Mountain, so we dance in the snow.”

His nose was buried in her collar, a small amount of warmed fragrance wafted out, her hair was soft, slightly dampened by the snow.

His hand traveled down and touched her protruding belly through her clothes.

“This son…… our……  expectations……”

The voice was intermittent and sometimes inaudible, as if blown away by the wind that carried the snowflakes.

“Ziqi……”

However, it was cut off abruptly. And as if wind and snow filled his mouth and nose, everything went white.

He put down his pen and leaned back in his chair, having difficulty breathing.

The maid misinterpreted his meaning, blushed scarlet, and boldly approached him: “This servant is called Qiu Rong……”

Some of the blood vessels in his eyes burst, and his thumb jerkily massaged his stinging temples. He then suddenly asked: “……What is her name?”

“Qiu Rong……”

Rong…… Rong’er……

“Get out.” He closed his eyes, raised his hand, and snapped it, rendering the circular fan into two halves. The ink stains rubbed against his palm, damp and sticky, like blood, “Get out.”

The intense pain overwhelmed him, his joints whitened, and he fell straight down from the chair.

When he fell unconscious, it coincided with Madam Xue’s delivery, causing chaos in Marquis Qingyi’s residence. While he was drifting in and out of consciousness, he overheard a conversation between his eldest sister and another person.

“Corsort Zhao, your servant said early on that this was a dangerous move……”

“This consort only has this one brother, no matter what you do, keep him alive. You hear me……”

“The only way out of this is to perform the full spell, but then, if it backfires, it will……”

“It won’t happen…… hurry up and perform the spell, he won’t remember it again.”

“——Come!” Her voice was sharp, “Go and uproot that banana tree. Those who carry “Rong” in their names, change all of them. In the future, if any of them dare to seduce the marquis again, this consort will have her hands chopped off!

“Hai……”

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Footnotes:

[1] Here’s how I’m guessing it looks. There should be a silk handkerchief on the jade headrest and her head rest on that.

[2] Essentially, he’s saying that her fingers are pale and smooth, like the white stem of a scallion.

[3] Did you know? Banana leaves can split due to wind.

Translator Note:

Wow, it has been a while, hasn’t it? I can’t believe we’re already at the side stories! And they’re just making me love this story more and more with each line I translate! @KarmaLady, I’m glad to know you think the translation is well-done. I can’t tell you how often I’ll get into working on the chapter and wonder if I’m making the words flow properly. Am I englishing correctly?? Bi/Multi-lingual problems, right? XD So, thanks a bunch for the feedback and comments. I feel encouraged to keep it up and hopefully it’s on par to your standards!