Chapter 8

VOLUME II: Sleeping Under the Locust Tree (Molan’s Story)

Shen Molan always believed that if it weren’t for Feng Wuhen, he would have married a gentle and virtuous woman, had a few children to carry on his bloodline, and when they grew up, he could teach them martial arts — maybe even reading and writing. He clearly remembered that as a child, he had gone out of his way to catch the attention of a beautiful young lady in town. When she got married and moved to the capital, young Shen Molan was disappointed for a long time, proof that he once liked women.

However, at the age of 16, after being forcibly kissed by Feng Wuhen, he gradually lost interest in women and found himself secretly drawn to the bodies of the boys he trained with. He wanted to curse Feng Wuhen for his impulsiveness, which had left him feeling confused and bewildered. But after that kiss, Feng Wuhen left, following his biological father without so much as a goodbye, leaving in such a carefree manner.

Shen Molan and Feng Wuhen had played together since they were children. He still remembered the first time he saw Feng Wuhen—it was a crisp autumn day. A small boy hid behind his mother, seemingly refusing to meet anyone. Feng Wuhen’s mother, though dressed in simple clothing, had striking and an almost otherworldly beauty.

Later, when Shen Molan entered the martial world, he learned that she was the infamous Poison Lady, Mu Yun.

At the time, Feng Wuhen’s mother seemed impatient with her son’s timid behavior and simply dragged him out from behind her without a word, then walked straight into the house, not bothering to say anything. Little Feng Wuhen appeared accustomed to this treatment, his head hanging low, not even sparing Shen Molan a glance.

Shen Molan always felt that something was strange about their mother-son relationship, but they were his future neighbors, and his mother had told him to greet them politely. The boy looked younger than him, so Shen Molan tried to act mature, “Ahem, my name is Shen Molan. What’s yours?”

The boy seemed surprised that Shen Molan had spoken to him. He looked up in astonishment, and Shen Molan noticed that his round eyes resembled amber, clear enough to see right through.

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“Wldt Ewbld,” vbl csu rywple, “Wldt, yp kd ‘callgl zlyhkdt okvbswv y vaynl.'”

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“El zkhl nzspl cu. Zsw nyd nsxl qkde xl vs rzyu obld usw byhl vkxl.” Wllzkdt vbyv bl bye nsxrzlvle bkp vypj, Fbld Yszyd ralryale vs zlyhl.

Jwv vs bkp pwarakpl, y pxyzz byde tldvzu vwttle yv bkp pzllhl. Tl aykple yd lulcaso yde vwadle yaswde, pwarakple vbyv vbkp pllxkdtzu vkxke csu oyp ps rasynvkhl.

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Fbld Yszyd dsvknle yzz sq vbkp, cwv bkp yzssq yde elvynble rlapsdyzkvu xyel bkx kdekqqlaldv vs kv. Xhla vkxl, bsolhla, bl cltyd vs qllz y pwcvzl pldpl sq lmbywpvksd.

He started to miss the quiet, obedient Feng Wuhen who used to follow him around as a child.

He even sensed something in Feng Wuhen’s gaze and found himself wanting to avoid the youth’s burning eyes.

Then came the day when, after running an errand for his mother, Shen Molan heard the townspeople saying that Feng Wuhen’s father had come to take him home. Shen Molan had seen Mr. Feng a few times, as he would occasionally visit Feng Wuhen and his mother. Nevertheless, he had never imagined he would take Feng Wuhen away. Even though Feng Wuhen had mentioned that his mother was waiting for his father to come and bring them home, no one expected that day to come after so many years.

Shen Molan tried to pretend he didn’t care, but he couldn’t shake his restlessness. Feng Wuhen often came to his house, but that day there was no Feng Wuhen who came to his door. Unable to bear it, Shen Molan decided to sneak over to their house to see if he had already left.

It was already dark by the time he arrived. His mother, who kept to a strict routine, was already asleep. Shen Molan climbed over the wall of the Feng family house and saw that the light was still on in Feng Wuhen’s room. Relieved, he knew now Feng Wuhen hadn’t left yet.

Just as he was about to leave, he heard the sound of water. Surprised, Shen Molan moved closer and knocked lightly on the door.

“Wuhen?”

There was a moment of silence before Feng Wuhen’s excited voice came from the inside.

“Molan, I’m here… No, come in.”

Hesitating, Shen Molan pushed open the door and found Feng Wuhen bathing in the middle of the night. The wooden tub was filled with steaming water, and beside it were fine soap, crushed herbs, petals, and fresh towels.

It was an unusual sight. They were used to bathing in the pond near town, where Mrs. Feng never cared if they caught a cold. Mrs. Shen would occasionally heat water for them, but there had never been such elaborate bathing preparations as tonight.

This was the first time Shen Molan had seen Feng Wuhen take such a luxurious bath in his own room.

Because of the steam, Shen Molan couldn’t clearly see Feng Wuhen’s face. He commented, “I’ve never seen you like this before.”

Feng Wuhen was silent for a moment before letting out a bitter laugh. “Molan, I might be leaving. My mother prepared all this for me—this is the first time I’ve seen her care so much.”

Leaving? Where to…? Shen Molan had heard people say something about Feng Manor, a place he wasn’t familiar with, but not too far from here.

After thinking for a moment, Shen Molan said, “It might be good to go out and see the world.” It was the truth; after all, he too wanted to explore beyond the town.

Feng Wuhen didn’t respond for a long time.

Shen Molan felt the atmosphere grow strange. Feng Wuhen was bathing, and he was just sitting there awkwardly, unsure of what to do. Feng Wuhen, unusually quiet, left him feeling even more unsettled.

“Molan, come over here,” Feng Wuhen suddenly said.

Thinking that Feng Wuhen needed his help, Shen Molan walked closer to the tub. But before he knew it, Feng Wuhen stood up from the water, his naked body pressing against Shen Molan’s, his arm wrapping around his neck.

It all happened so quickly that Shen Molan had no time to react. He felt something warm and soft pressing against his lips. Something moist slipped into his mouth, trying to entwine with his tongue. Frozen in shock, he felt the naked, hot, and slippery body rubbing lightly against him. Whether it was the steam or something else, he found himself feeling a strange rush of heat.

Like a fish, the thought flashed through Shen Molan’s mind, and in that instant, he snapped out of it.

He forcefully shoved Feng Wuhen away, angry, disgusted, or possibly something else entirely. He told Feng Wuhen to stay away from him and insisted that he didn’t like men.

He was sure he didn’t—but he couldn’t stand the fact that his body had responded. In an attempt to cover it up, his tone became even more hostile.

Feng Wuhen didn’t seem to mind, smiling. “I like you, Molan… Maybe if I like you more, you’ll like me too?”

Furious, Shen Molan slammed the door and left. Just before it closed, he thought he heard Feng Wuhen mutter softly,

“I’m afraid that if I leave…”

Feng Wuhen left after all.

Shen Molan was still angry about what Feng Wuhen had done that day—or perhaps, he was more upset with his own reaction. But he hadn’t expected Feng Wuhen to leave for good two days later, without even saying goodbye.

After that time, Shen Molan wasn’t used to being alone.

For a long time, at school, on the playground, and even in the streets and alleys, nearly everyone in town thought they were born to be inseparable. However, Shen Molan had gradually grown tired of Feng Wuhen’s possessiveness. He knew that Feng had been secretly interfering with his social circle, sometimes making it feel suffocating. Shen Molan had imagined that if Feng Wuhen weren’t around, he might make more friends. He had even fantasized about a future where he could roam the martial world alone, with a sword on his back, riding through the lands, living freely, and pursuing justice.

But it was all just his wishful thinking. Feng Wuhen had heard about his grand ambitions and had said he wanted to join him in roaming the martial world. They had been lying together on the grassy riverbank, watching the stars. It was a night perfect for discussing their dreams. Shen Molan felt a little resistant, but deep inside, he had already grown accustomed to the idea. After all, some of the gentler aspects of his character came from his mother, a content and steady nature. Besides, he had spent so many years with Feng Wuhen that even though he had grown weary of it, he didn’t mind continuing on like this for the rest of his life.

For more than a decade, Feng Wuhen had been his only friend. Shen Molan had once thought that Feng Wuhen must have had many friends besides him, given that his personality was far more playful and carefree, unlike his own composed and distant demeanor. Feng Wuhen, with his good looks and approachable nature, easily won others’ affection. But strangely, Feng Wuhen seemed only to want to be with Shen Molan. Whenever he noticed that others lost interest in interacting with Shen Molan, Feng would quietly intervene, as if his only purpose in life was to discourage others from befriending Shen Molan.

Shen Molan had always thought Feng Wuhen was strange. Nonetheless, after that kiss, he finally understood.

It turned out that Feng Wuhen had always felt that way about him. The possessiveness and desire for control that had made him uncomfortable now made sense.

But just as Shen Molan figured it all out, Feng Wuhen left him, carefreely and completely.

For days, Shen Molan wrestled with his thoughts and emotions, unable to suppress them. Eventually, he went to the Feng family house, only to find it abandoned. Everything he had been familiar with—the furniture, the decorations—was all gone.

After that, Feng Wuhen never returned.

As more time passed, Shen Molan recalled that day when Feng Wuhen had said he liked him, the steamy kiss that had stirred his own desires, their promise to roam the martial world together, and how they had been inseparable since childhood.

In the end, it was all just an illusion. Like a fleeting dream.