Chapter 15

One day, when the guards were less attentive, Shen Molan took the opportunity to visit Shaoqing. Shaoqing’s guest room was located in the most secluded western part of Feng Manor, farthest from the main quarters. After observing for a while, Shen Molan confirmed where Shaoqing was staying, so it was easy for him to find him this time.

Recently, something strange had happened. Feng Wuhen had loosened his vigilance over the two of them so much that Shen Molan, who had only planned to watch Shaoqing from the rooftop, realized upon arrival that there were no guards around.

After thinking for a moment, Shen Molan exhaled a barely audible sigh, jumped down from the roof, and knocked on the door.

“Shaoqing?”

There was silence from inside. Shen Molan pushed the door open and entered.

Although Feng Wuhen didn’t like Chen Shaoqing and had placed him in the most isolated part of Feng Manor, the room was fully furnished, even equipped with ice basins to prepare for the coming summer heat.

Shen Molan couldn’t help but feel a little moved.

He walked to the bed and gently lifted the soft curtain. Shaoqing was still asleep, but his complexion had significantly improved.

The following parts of the text will be scrambled to prevent theft from aggregators and unauthorized epub making. Please support our translators by reading on secondlifetranslations (dot) com. If you are currently on the site and and you are seeing this, please clear your cache.

Wkdyzzu, Fbld Yszyd qlzv alyppwale. Tl eked’v oydv vs oyjl bkx. Gp bl oyp ycswv vs vwad yde zlyhl, Fbysikdt, pldpkvkhl vs psxlsdl’p ralpldnl, srldle bkp lulp.

“…Fbld-eytl?” Ubld Fbysikdt czkdjle kd nsdqwpksd. Tl vbswtbv bl oyp ealyxkdt, pllkdt Fbld Yszyd pvydekdt cu bkp cle okvbswv ydusdl lzpl yaswde.

Fbld Yszyd pbsole bkp qkapv tldwkdl pxkzl sq alzklq kd xsdvbp. “Rv’p xl. Gal usw qllzkdt clvvla?”

Ubld Fbysikdt dseele czydjzu yde xwaxwale, “Ywnb clvvla. Tl… Tl pyhle xl…”

Mbswtb Fbysikdt eked’v prlnkqu obs “bl” oyp, csvb sq vblx jdlo. Fbld Yszyd’p pxkzl qyele, yde bl dseele pzktbvzu, pyukdt, “Zlp…”

Ubld Fbysikdt eked’v vbkdj xwnb sq kv. “R’zz xyjl pwal xu qyxkzu pldep bkx y qlo nblpvp sq tsze yde pkzhla yp vbydjp.” Rd bkp xkde, xlanbydvp sdzu nyale ycswv xsdlu.

Fbld Yszyd pxkzle pzktbvzu yde eked’v pyu xwnb, sdzu ypjkdt, “Ps usw qllz ydu svbla ekpnsxqsav?”

Fbysikdt alrzkle, “R qllz olyj yzz shla, yde xu eydvkyd kp plyzle. Zswa qaklde xwpv byhl tkhld xl psxl jkde sq xleknkdl vbyv vlxrsayakzu ekpyczle xu xyavkyz yavp…” Tkp vsdl clnyxl kdhszwdvyakzu ytkvyvle.

Shen Molan knew how much Shaoqing valued his martial arts, and he also knew that Feng Wuhen had done this to better control the situation, but it was not something he could explain to Shaoqing. Feeling a bit irritated, he touched his nose and said lightly, “Shaoqing, once the poison is completely cleared, we’ll be able to leave. It won’t be long. I’ll come back in a few days.”

“…Shen-dage!” Shaoqing protested, widening his eyes, but he could only watch as Shen Molan left. Frustrated, he hit the bed frame hard—but in his current weakened state, it barely made a sound.

After successfully checking on Shaoqing, Shen Molan returned to his room without encountering anyone. Though he felt relieved, he was also puzzled by Feng Wuhen’s recent change in attitude.

But it was just a passing thought; he didn’t want to delve too deeply into it.

Recently, he and Feng Wuhen had rarely spoken, let alone shared any intimate moments. Feng Wuhen seemed to be hiding something, often distracted, and slower in his reactions, but Shen Molan didn’t bother to ask. However, Feng Wuhen still maintained the habit of holding him to sleep every night, though he slept increasingly longer and had to be woken up by his maid Xiao Lian in the morning. Otherwise, he wouldn’t wake up.

Shen Molan watched indifferently as Feng Wuhen rushed to get up. Sometimes, when he got up too quickly, he would trip—Feng Wuhen had recently become slower, though Shen Molan wasn’t sure if he was pretending. Regardless, he never offered to help. Xiao Lian, on the other hand, would glare at him angrily as if he was the villain.

Shen Molan would only sneer, look away, and drink his tea, not bothering to argue with the little maid.

Shen Molan had stayed in Feng Manor for nearly eight months without leaving. Feng Wuhen had once invited him to go out, but Shen Molan had refused without hesitation. While he wanted to leave, he didn’t want to go under heavy surveillance. The feeling of being confined was worse than staying in the manor.

After all, it was almost over.

Shaoqing’s poisoning.

And their relationship.

A faint sense of melancholy arose in his heart, which Shen Molan found somewhat ridiculous, so he forcefully suppressed it.

He visited Shaoqing a few more times. Since the security had become so lax, it was easy for him to go and return. As Shaoqing’s condition improved, Shen Molan felt at ease but also began to feel a slight sense of guilt toward Feng Wuhen.

After all, Feng Wuhen had done his best to save Shaoqing. Although the terms of their agreement had made Shen Molan uncomfortable, in retrospect, he realized he might have been too harsh in his judgment.

Recently, Feng Wuhen seemed to have become busier. Shen Molan thought about their relationship and realized he couldn’t let it continue like this. He no longer wanted to engage in any intimacy with him. Once everything was over, they would part ways—Shen Molan would continue as a wandering swordsman, and Feng Wuhen would be a merchant — each minding their own business, never having to meet again.

But it seemed Feng Wuhen had sensed something. He persistently tried to tempt Shen Molan with the promise of seeing Feng Manor in September.

“You’ll come, won’t you? I’ll send someone to fetch you.”

“Feng Manor is beautiful in September. You wouldn’t want to miss it.”

“I’ll wait for you.”

When Shen Molan didn’t give him a clear answer, Feng Wuhen became more anxious and humble, even lowering himself in a rare display of vulnerability.

Shen Molan grew irritated again, unable to bring himself to refuse.

He wasn’t acting like himself anymore.

Even so, in the end, he didn’t give Feng Wuhen a clear answer. He couldn’t agree, but he also couldn’t bring himself to say no.

However, he knew he wouldn’t go.

He didn’t understand why Feng Wuhen was so eager for September. For him, although he liked the daily variety of pastries at Feng Manor and the soft beds compared to the hard ones in the inns, he had no desire to return. He had already seen all of Feng Manor and had no particular love for autumn. In contrast, the feeling of being trapped in Feng Manor was too overwhelming.

The day he left was in the height of summer. For once, he seriously looked at Feng Wuhen’s face. His cheeks were unnaturally flushed, but Shen Molan couldn’t bring himself to ask about it. This time, he sincerely thanked him for saving Shaoqing’s life and told him to take care.

But he didn’t say goodbye.

Feng Wuhen once again invited him to come to Feng Manor in September, his amber eyes sparkling like a star-filled summer night sky, so bright they made Shen Molan’s heart soften slightly.

He frowned, irritably turned his gaze away, and boarded the carriage.

In the end, he couldn’t think of anything to say, and in silence, he drove the carriage out of Feng Wuhen’s sight.

He didn’t want to leave any more hope for him. Although part of him wanted to turn around and see the expression on Feng Wuhen’s face—it was sure to be full of loss. However, his decision was final.

…Let all the coldness, cruelty, hurt, forgiveness, and the tangled mess of their relationship… fade away with time.

Translator’s Note

It’s painful that the coldness, cruelty, hurt, forgiveness, and the tangled mess of their relationship… would all disappear with death.

“I’ll wait for you.” Feng Wuhen was willing to wait, but his body could not. 

My ghad, I want to smack Shen Molan to hell. (T-T)