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  • Married To A Potential Fat Man

    Chapter 1

    My ill-fated relationship with Du Hongting began in 1998.

    “Meng Qiqi come over and call out, ‘Hello, Brother Bang.'”

    Du Hongting was born with a platinum spoon in his mouth, and his family held great expectations for him, so he was given the nickname “Bang Bang1 Bang means great, admirable, fantastic .”

    As a result, I misheard it as “Pang Pang2 Pang means fat” and called him that instead.

    Du Hongting’s face instantly turned black.

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    My parents quickly corrected me, saying “Bang!”

    But I stubbornly insisted on saying “Pang!”

    Du Hongting was immediately unhappy with me, and he vowed not to see me again.

    The following parts of the text will be scrambled to prevent theft from aggregators and unauthorized epub making. Please support our translators by reading on secondlifetranslations (dot) com. If you are currently on the site and and you are seeing this, please clear your cache.

    Mbyv ulya, bl oyp lktbv ulyap sze.

    Mball ulyap zyvla, xu taydeqyvbla rypple yoyu, yde Pw’p qyxkzu nyxl vs sqqla vblka nsdeszldnlp.&dcpr;

    Pw Tsdtvkdt bye vs nsxl yzsdt.

    R nakle yde rayule, “Gqvla rlsrzl ekl, vblu ts vs blyhld, aktbv?”

    Pw Tsdtvkdt alrzkle, “Mblu’zz cl cwadle.”

    R nakle ckvvlazu yde byvle vbkp cye xyd.

    Mbyv ulya, R oyp lktbv ulyap sze.

    Rd vbl qkapv plxlpvla sq xu vbkae ulya kd fwdksa bktb, vbl eyu vbl xke-vlax lmyx alpwzvp olal yddswdnle, ol bye hkpkvsap yv bsxl.

    Du Hongting transferred from another city, and was now studying in his senior year at the most prestigious high school in the area. He wanted to rent our house for a year.

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    I accidentally called him “Pang” again.

    To my surprise, he still had a bad temper. He gave me a big gift and asked, “How did you do on the math test this time?”

    It was like he was prying into my soul.

    I had only scored 37 points on the math test.

    My mother heard about it and immediately slapped me in the face with a spoon.

    Ouch, it was so hot.

    The next day, the homeroom teacher talked to my parents and said that if I didn’t study hard, I was beyond saving.

    My mom said, “It’s okay, if she can’t get into high school, she can find her own way.”

    Desperate, I hit upon the idea of pursuing Du Hongting.

    Being able to transfer to the best key high school in the city from another city meant that he must not be underestimated.

    Unfortunately, he was hard to get close to.

    He had been renting a room in my house for almost half a month, but he hadn’t said a word to me.

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    It took me three days to gather the courage to approach him on the way to school.

    Years later, while watching a variety show, the host asked the guest, “Do you remember the first thing you said to your husband when you approached him?”

    The guest said he didn’t remember, but I remembered it very clearly in front of the TV—

    “Hey, do you like to eat big meat buns?”

    Maybe it was the big meat buns that did the trick.

    To urge me to focus on studying, my mom confiscated all of my idol’s merchandise and said she would burn it.

    Du Hongting, who was usually quiet, suddenly said to my mom, “It could start a fire if you burn it in the house, Auntie.”

    I felt warm inside at that moment.

    But then Du Hongting said, “Take it outside to burn it, it’s safer.”

    He was really a black-bellied person.

    At first, Du Hongting would leave early and come back late, and he would eat all three meals outside.

    My mother felt sorry for him as he was a student with no family around, and eating out every day.

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    So she sent me to persuade him to have a meal with us.

    He was so unlikeable, of course, I didn’t want to go.

    But I heard there was a ten-dollar reward if the job was done, so I went.

    As expected, Du Hongting refused.

    I was also glad and muttered to myself, “It’s better if he doesn’t come. We’ll have sweet and sour pork ribs tomorrow, and I can eat a whole plate!”

    The next day, when I returned home from school at noon, I found that Du Hongting had appeared in our living room, and my favorite sweet and sour pork ribs were on the table in front of him!

    During the meal, this fatso even pretended to be courteous and said, “Don’t give anymore. Auntie, your daughter likes to eat, right?”

    “She doesn’t like it. You can eat more.” I watched as my mother poured the whole plate of sweet and sour pork ribs into Du Hongting’s bowl!

    Go to hell, fatso!

    When Du Hongting paid the second month’s rent, he also added a meal fee.

    My mother would occasionally help him clean up his room and wash his dirty clothes along the way.

    Later, my mom went on a business trip and didn’t come back for a few days. Du Hongting went home and saw his clothes drying in the courtyard, so he asked me, “Who washed my clothes?”

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    I replied, “I did.”

    Du Hongting’s face changed and he asked, “What did you wash?”

    “School uniforms, T-shirts, jeans, socks, and underwear,” I said. “Your underwear is really big, several times bigger than my dad’s!”

    Unexpectedly, Du Hongting became very angry after hearing this and ordered me not to touch his clothes again.

    “How can I do that?” I asked. “It’s not easy to get paid for labor!”

    “Wash my dad’s underwear, five cents per pair,” I emphasized loudly. 

    “And wash yours for one dollar per pair!”

    Du Hongting got so angry that his face turned red. 

    “Shut up!” he yelled.

    Later on, he started washing his own clothes, and he continued to do so after getting married.

    Our relationship improved because of a haircut.

    At the time, my favorite idol had a new hairstyle, so I followed suit and got the same one.

    Looking back now, it was even more non-mainstream than a “Killer Matt” haircut, and I don’t know what I was thinking at the time.

    When I got home, my dad was shocked, and my mom took me directly to an old street hair salon to shave my head.

    Even Du Hongting was moved by such a cruel buzz cut and said, “Do you have the courage to go to school with a bald head?”

    I disagreed, “A short haircut is the only standard to test whether a guy is handsome. You’re just jealous that I’m too handsome!”

    He snorted, “Why should I be jealous of a salted egg?”

    Despite his words, after I shaved my head, I really looked like a handsome guy, especially after intentionally dressing in a neutral style. As a result, I was highly regarded by female students in school. Some even screamed when they saw me, like when I walked into the girls’ bathroom.

    “Is it interesting?” Du Hongting couldn’t stand my showy appearance and said, “Childish.”

    Later, when I had breakfast with Du Hongting, two little ruffians sitting opposite us kept joking about my gender. They became increasingly disrespectful and even asked if I was a boy or a girl.

    Although I was about to explode with anger, I was too scared to say anything and just buried my head and ate in silence.

    At this moment, Du Hongting suddenly stood up and said, “How can you talk like that?!”

    His imposing and majestic figure immediately silenced the two noisy little ruffians, and like me, they buried their heads and ate in silence.

    Just as I was silently grateful in my heart, I heard Du Hongting order the other side, “Apologize to my little brother now!”

    Humph.

    Who’s more childish?

    But I still felt a little moved.

    In return, I bought a giant burger and brought it to his room, but I forgot to knock on the door and ended up feeling embarrassed.

    He was in tears when he saw me.

    I couldn’t help but think of his experiences: his parents’ divorce, his destitution, and his homelessness.

    In a very awkward situation, I stumbled over my words and said a bunch of emotional and motivational things, but I didn’t console him. Instead, I ended up crying myself.

    Then a few drops of ice-cold water unexpectedly fell on my face.

    I looked up and said, “Is the ceiling leaking?”

    The cold rain pelted my face haphazardly…

    Du Hongting’s mouth twitched, and he managed a smile. “Yes, you silly.”

    That winter was originally very difficult to endure, and even the weather forecast said it was the coldest winter in ten years.

    But the strange thing was that many years later, it was a warm winter in his memory.

    It was also many years later that I learnt that he had not been homeless but had run away from home in anger that year because –

    After his parents’ divorce, his allowance was reduced from 100,000 to 80,000 per month.

    At that time, my allowance was only 80 yuan per month.

    Thinking back, Du Hongting was still quite upright and pretended to be serious. He was really good at pretending.

    Before the high school entrance exam, I was under a lot of pressure, and the male classmates in the class often told dirty jokes to relieve stress. I picked up the bad habit of teasing others. The shortest dirty joke I ever heard was condensed to just eight words—

     “I am 6, you’re 9.”3

    Exact translation is – I am the one hoeing the rice seedlings, and you are the sun at noon.

    This is a line from a famous Chinese poem called “静夜思” (Jing Ye Si) by Tang Dynasty poet Li Bai. The line compares the speaker to a farmer working in the fields, and the person addressed to the sun shining brightly at noon, suggesting that they are both indispensable and important parts of the world.

    Du Hongting did not expect me to be so impure, and he scolded me after hearing it, “Disgusting!”

    I tried to tease him several times, but failed every time. That day, I told another dirty joke:

    “A wife is caught cheating by her husband in bed with her lover. The naked lover is nervously trying to explain that he is a family doctor and is giving a checkup to his wife. The husband then tells the doctor, ‘Show me your thermometer, and if there’s no scale on it, you’re dead!'”

    Du Hongting looked at me with disgust while I laughed heartily. 

    I even asked him, “I wonder if there’s a scale on it? Hahaha!”

    He coldly asked me, “Do you want to see my thermometer if you’re so curious?”

    I was immediately at a loss for words. 

    After a while, I turned around and ran away frantically.

    After that, I never dared to be dirty in front of him again. 

    As a high school senior, Du Hongting never studied at home, yet he was a math and science prodigy who won multiple awards in math competitions.

    Meanwhile, I was a complete underachiever in math and science, despite spending hours poring over textbooks every day.

    One time, he took pity on me and offered to tutor me. The results were astonishing – he was like a walking “score-boosting machine.”

    I was overjoyed and often bribed him with delicious food, and shamelessly flattered him –

    “To be honest, you’re damn handsome.”

    “Being thin doesn’t necessarily mean healthy. You have a perfect body shape!”

    “Your foundation is so good, luckily you’re fat, otherwise all the handsome guys in the country would have no chance.”

    “Come on, finish this bowl of chicken leg noodles!”

    Haha, boys are just so naive.

    Looking back now, I was still too young.

    Du Hongting is actually a very serious person.

    In terms of studying, he demanded exceptionally high standards.

    Whenever I heard the word “tutoring,” my legs would go weak, and going into Du Hongting’s room was like entering a torture chamber.

    He would always sit there sternly guiding me, and if he got angry, he would poke my head with his pen. His mouth was so poisonous that it was infuriating –

    “Didn’t I teach you this question before? Were your ears blocked with shit when I was speaking?”

    “If pigs could understand human language, even they could solve this question better than you!”

    “I’m so angry that I’m hungry. Quickly go make another pot of shredded pork noodles and fry four egg dumplings!”

    “Put your pen down, do you see that wall over there? Bang your head against it. Maybe inspiration will come.”

    “Don’t write anymore, let’s both commit suicide with a bottle of pesticide each! I’ve taught you three times and you still don’t get it!”

    “Why don’t you find another tutor? I’m still young, I want to live a few more years.”

    On the night before the middle school entrance exam, I said to Du Hongting, “Give me a good luck message.”

    The message he gave me was, “Don’t forget to bring your brain.”

    Our class teacher in junior high school once said that with my grades, I may not even be able to pass the high school entrance examination.

    But with the hellish tutoring of Du Hongting, a learning-impaired student like me managed to barely pass and even rolled into the best high school in the city.

    Later, when Du Hongting finished high school and was filling out his college application, he hesitated and always chose universities near home despite having such high scores.

    I asked him why.

    He didn’t say.

    I understood.

    So I bought him a self-defense electric baton.

    When he received the gift, he wasn’t happy at all and asked me why I gave him this ghost thing?

    I had to reveal to him, “Aren’t you afraid that the security in foreign countries is not good and that it is not safe to be too far away from home?”

    After he listened, he showed a face as if he had been electrocuted by ten thousand volts.

    Then he changed his application completely and went to a national key university far, far away from home, as if he was rebelling against someone.

    He also said that I am particularly slow-witted in one aspect.

    What does that mean?

    Why am I slow-witted?

    In which aspect exactly?


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    Mily [Translator]

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    2 Comments

    1. Annie_Anne

      Girl!!! You’re Soo dense, he likes you!!! You’re slow in the aspect of L❤️VE!

      Thanks FOR THE CHAPTER!!