Chapter 25

Yu Haiqiao was an idiot. When my relationship with him was considered to be harmonious, I could still smile at this b!tch’s shameless words, but now that he was facing me with a smile, I looked at him, “Yu Haiqiao, is there something wrong with you?”

He looked up at me with an innocent face, “What’s the matter?”

I replied, “Can you please get out of my house?”

He narrowed his eyes slightly, and based on my knowledge of having been familiar with him for many years, he was unhappy because of my words and just as I was assuming that he would just mock me out of unhappiness and then leave my home in a puff, he then said while grinning, “I just wanted to freeload a meal, do you have to be this petty?”

I have attempted to tear off this b!tch Yu Haiqiao’s face many times in my life but every time I came very close to doing it, I would be stopped by the kindness deep inside my heart. Now that the situation has reached this point, I felt that it was already time. Like lava exploding out of a volcano, the pent-up frustration I had, burst out of the cage of rationality and couldn’t be stopped.

Ever since I graduated from junior high, I’ve always flaunted myself as a new gen girl. No matter the situation, I tried to keep my independence and rationality and would never get hysterical when things happened so I had never lost my cool. My rationality trapped all the excessive intense emotions I felt in my body.

Now that my feelings were breaking out of the cage, I could feel my head starting to feel hot and I shrieked at Yu Haiqiao, “I asked you to leave!!”

Yu Haiqiao probably got surprised by my sudden outburst and even took a step back. He looked at me blankly with eyes wide open unlike his usual look, his innocent eyes looking like a child who was waiting for his parents to come fetch him from kindergarten.

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Yu blye oyp pvlyxkdt bsv yde xu ynvksdp olal nsxrzlvlzu clusde xu nsdvasz, “R ypjle usw vs zlyhl, es usw blya xl Zw Tykikys?!!”

Zw Tykikys vssj ydsvbla pvlr cynj. Tl rwaple bkp zkrp yde aykple y qssv, vyjkdt y pvlr vsoyaep xl.

R oyp pvkzz bszekdt vbl nzlydkdt ayt R vssj qasx vbl jkvnbld yde R aykple xu byde vbasokdt kv qklanlzu vs vbl ekalnvksd bl oyp nsxkdt vsoyaep. Gv vbkp xsxldv, shlaoblzxkdt aytl kd xu blye xyel xl altalv vbyv vbl vbkdt R oyp bszekdt oyp dsv y jkvnbld jdkql obknb R nswze’hl wple vs pvyc bkx vs elyvb 100 vkxlp, “Nlyhl!!! Psd’v lhla q*njkdt pbso wr kd qasdv sq xu qynl ytykd!! R q*njkdt ekhsanle usw clnywpl R dlhla oydvle vs pll usw ytykd!!! R dlhla oydv vs pll usw ytykd kd xu zkql!!!!”

Yu hsknl vwadle bsyapl yde ewl vs shlalmlavkdt xu vbasyv cu pbakljkdt zswezu, xu osaep olal y zkvvzl nbsrru. Mbkp oyp psxlvbkdt R oswze dlhla byhl esdl kq R nswze byhl tykdle ckvp sq xu ayvksdyzkvu cynj.

Zw Tykikys oyp bkv cu vbl jkvnbld ayt R vbalo yde bkp qssvpvlrp nyxl vs y rywpl. R pyo bkx rwapl bkp zkrp, vbl lmralppksd sd bkp qynl wtzu, cwv ds xyvvla bso wtzu bl zssjle, bl oswzed’v zssj yp wdpktbvzu yp R eke aktbv dso.

R nswze sdzu qllz xuplzq calyvbkdt yp blyhkzu yp y nso yde aykple y byde, rskdvkdt vs vbl ekalnvksd sq vbl essa, “Qlv swv. Rq usw yrrlya clqsal xl ytykd, R’x iwkvvkdt xu fsc yde R’x xshkdt.”

Zw Tykikys rwaple bkp zkrp kdvs y pvayktbv zkdl, “R dlhla ytalle vs vbyv.”

“Qlv vbl q*nj swv sq xu qynl!” Mawvb rashle vbyv obld rlsrzl olal kd vbl xkeezl sq y bupvlaky, vblu oswze cl wdyczl vs prlyj zkjl vblu wpwyzzu oswze. Tsolhla, R qlzv vbyv R nswze yavknwzyvl xuplzq ralvvu olzz. Rd y cyvvzl sq osaep ytykdpv Zw Tykikys, R zspv yde R osd psxl nyplp cwv yv vbkp xsxldv, R nswze sdzu pllx vs alrlyv vbl pyxl osaep shla yde shla.

Yu Haiqiao bent down and picked up the rag I threw to the ground before taking big strides towards me. I raised a hand and sent a slap towards his face.

**

The slap produced an extremely clear sound, it was so clear that it was not only beyond Yu Haiqiao’s expectation but also my own expectation. I have never been an advocate of violence, believing that one should prevail over their enemy through a battle of the tongue. Moreover, girls never had any advantage in the battlefield. I never imagined that I would slap Yu Haiqiao the moment he got closer to me. This was very wrong, it was an action that was taken without any rationality or logic.

I immediately apologized to the physically hurt Yu Haiqiao, “I’m sorry.”

The back of Yu Haiqiao’s hand covered the place that I had just slapped. He stood about half an arm’s length away from me and asked hoarsely, “What are you sorry for?”

“….” My palm that just hit him still felt hot. I was unable to respond. I certainly thought about the several futures I could’ve had with Yu Haiqiao but I never expected such a disastrous scenario to play out. I’ve also thought about the scenario of getting divorced with him and no matter how many years we’ve known each other for, we wouldn’t have been able to have had a scenario where we parted with extremely amicable feelings.

The back of Yu Haiqiao’s hand was still stuck to his own face and he lowered his eyes, chuckling lightly before taking off his hand and asking me, “Is it swollen?”

“….” I cast a glance and saw that a four finger handprint had appeared on his face. I withdrew my gaze and pressed down my voice, telling him, “Leave.”

Yu Haiqiao asked me hoarsely, “Shi Ran, until when will you torture me to be satisfied?”

“Think whatever you want. I shouldn’t have hit you, If you think you didn’t deserve that, you can hit me back.” I didn’t look at him, feeling that the current atmosphere right now was too terrible. If Yu Haiqiao could slap me back and get me out of this terrible situation, I would gladly turn my face for him. Yu Haiqiao never owed me anything and to be honest, in the time I was together with him, he really did take care of me quite a lot. Even though he married and divorced me, as though he was a kindergartener playing house, I was the one who verbally agreed to getting married and agreeing meant that I had accepted the risks that came with accepting married life.

I had never had such a deep realization like I was having at this moment, Yu Haiqiao and I were both b!tches who can’t even speak humanely, there was no ‘who did the other wrong’ at all. After I became aware of sex, I began to hold conflicting opinions with Yu Haiqiao. If Yu Haiqiao said to go left, even if I wanted to go left, I would insist on going right. I was simply like a king who was good at politics, holding the sycophant official named “Yu Haiqiao ”. I thought that Yu Haiqiao’s words were right, no matter what it was, I always had to fight him. I was horrible.

Other people couldn’t see the self-righteous soul that was hiding under my rational body but Yu Haiqiao did. He mocked me, disagreed with me, and looked down on me. Yu Haiqiao wasn’t wrong.

The other mistake was my useless arrogance and self-esteem. The mistake was the ridiculous and self-righteous attitude I showed in front of Yu Haiqiao all day.

I looked at Yu Haiqiao and with never-before-seen resoluteness, I told him, “Hit me.”

Yu Haiqiao’s lips parted slightly, “Do you plan to torture me everyday?” His voice was very hoarse, as if something was lodged in his throat.

“….” Yu Haiqiao felt as if he was the victim. Perhaps the only defeat in his smooth-sailing life was me, I also certainly caused him harm.

From an impartial perspective, perhaps I should have apologized to him but I felt that he had also wronged me, so in my mind, the two apologies cancelled each other out, and for the remainder of our lives, we would no longer owe each other anything.

“If you’re not going to hit me, then leave.” I said.

Yu Haiqiao stood perfectly straight not far away from me, his face imprinted with a gradually darkening handprint. Both hands were placed beside his body and the rim of his eyes were slightly red. His face carried his usually mocking expressions and his mouth started attacking me like a viper, “You only know how to torture me forever.”

“…..”

“You told me to divorce you when you found true love so I did. If you wanted to leave, you would leave, if you wanted me to come back, I would come back. Shi Ran, there’s not one else like you. What exactly do you want me to do? Do you want me to disappear before you like trash you’ve thrown away? Aren’t you just taking advantage of the fact that I won’t lay a finger on you? Aren’t you simply giving me a hard time for not having the heart to do anything to you? To what point are you going to bully me before you’re satisfied? Are you even human, Shi Ran?”

“…..” For a moment I couldn’t understand what Yu Haiqiao was implying from the string of words he said.

“Can’t you see I’m like a f*cking dog wagging its tail in front of you everyday for attention? Do you even have a f*cking heart or is your heart made of stone?”

I couldn’t help but start sneering, “What are you trying to tell me, that you like me?”

Yu Haiqiao looked at me and chuckled in mockery, “You should be quite tired pretending not to know how I feel for you every day.” He then snorted, “Yeah, in this world, only you Shi Ran can have self-esteem. Only you Shi Ran needs to protect your ego. Other people don’t have it, nor do they need it. What do you want me to do? Kneel on the ground begging you not to leave me or divorce me? I’ve lost my whole life’s worth of face on you, don’t you think you’re too much?”

I couldn’t help but laugh coldly, “You, Yu Haiqiao, like me? Your whole life’s worth of face is lost on me? I used my whole life’s worth of compromise on you. I’ve been pretending not to know your feelings? How the f*ck am I supposed to know what you mean, and what are you trying to gain by telling me this? Was it on my 27th birthday where you proposed to me throwing me a marriage ring as if you were throwing garbage? Or the long string of words you said about how our marriage is of mutual benefit? Was it when you sat in the car on the day we got our marriage certificate printed and told me those bullshit words while I was in a hurry to go to work? Was it when I found out that you were starting rumors behind my back, and when I got angry the next morning, you threw me a paper that had ‘I love you’ written in morse code? Or was it this f*cking morning when you stood at entrance of my building waiting for me to go to the bureau to get divorced?!!!”

Yu Haiqiao’s eyes grew wide slightly and his voice rang out in shatters, as if he was incredulous at my outstanding memory, “W-….What?”

“You said you like me, well aren’t you funny? It was you who f*cking made me feel that I, Shi Ran, who’s lived until 30 years old, didn’t deserve to have someone come up to me and proclaim openly that they like me. And now you’ve come to my home, standing in front of me and denouncing me zealously, saying that you’ve lost your face and self-esteem all on me. I can only ask myself, aside from the slap I couldn’t hold back giving you earlier, I’ve never once felt truly sorry for you before. In fact, I can’t even take responsibility for your big face and self-esteem, Yu Haiqiao!!!!”

Because I was too emotional, my voice started to crack by the end of my words.

I stared intently at Yu Haiqiao, telling him slowly, “I’ve never denied I had a strong personality but I really can’t afford to have such a great ability like a heart of stone, unable to feel hurt.”

KMH – TOC for advanced chapters [Complete]