Chapter 24

Yu Haiqiao acted so impatient this early morning but had clearly taken his time driving to a nearby Hong Kong style restaurant to drink tea. He ordered 7 to 8 dishes, picked up his chopsticks and started eating with a buried head, appearing like a ghost who had starved for half of his life. I sighed at this sight. While eating rice noodle rolls, I started to think about my current new identity and as his ex-wife, I told him, “Dog Yu, I’m going to work. Let’s part without hard feelings.”

Yu Haiqiao was chewing on something when he glanced at me and said, “Part without hard feelings my ass.”

This b!tch had probably decided to stop acting human upon getting our divorce certificate. He was unable to speak a single decent word, but I still knew proprieties and wouldn’t argue with savages so I dabbed my mouth with a tissue and said, “Alright. Let’s end it here. I’m heading off.”

Yu Haiqiao reminded me, “I just transferred a thousand yuan to you.”

I wasn’t a woman without a backbone. Moreover, the money was already transferred to my account so Yu Haiqiao can’t ask for it back. Feeling it beneath my dignity, I then heard Yu Haiqiao add, “If you accompany me to eat, I’ll give you another thousand.”

Scratch that, I can sometimes be a woman who would bend her waist whenever needed. I retracted my movements of preparing to leave and felt taken aback seeing Yu Haiqiao’s eating appearance, “How long have you not eaten? Are you the reincarnation of a starved ghost?”

Yu Haiqiao cast me a glance, “What does it matter to you?”

“?” Yu Haiqiao may have really lost his mind. I flashed him an insincere smile and said, “It doesn’t but just continue eating.”

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Zw Tykikys’p xshlxldvp vbld pvyavle vs pzso esod yqvla vbl qkapv oyhl. Fllkdt vbyv bkp calyjqypv nswze nspv wp ycswv byzq yd bswa vs yd bswa’p osavb sq vkxl, R zssjle yv bkx kd yddsuydnl, “Psd’v usw dlle vs ts vs osaj sa byhl usw zspv uswa fsc?”

“Ebyv eslp kv xyvvla vs usw?” Zw Tykikys’p alclzzkswp rlakse bye qkdyzzu nsxl yqvla clkdt zyvl qsa xsal vbyd plhlayz ulyap. Rv xyel xl oydv vs vyjl swv y obkr yde vbaypb bkx vs elyvb.

R tzyale yv bkx yde yehkple bkx dsv vs vyjl yehydvytl sq svbla rlsrzl’p olyjdlpplp, “Pst Zw, fwpv vs nzyakqu swa nwaaldv aszlp. R’x dso uswa lm-okql. R esd’v nyal ycswv uswa xyvvlap.”

Zw Tykikys’p zyvl-yaakhle alclzzkswp rlakse nyxl yv qwzz qsanl. Tl ynvwyzzu tzyale yv xl yqvla R qkdkpble xu rklnl, pyukdt, “Fkdnl usw jdso vbyv usw’al dso xu lm-okql, obyv eslp kv xyvvla vs usw?”

R oyp saktkdyzzu nwakswp yp vs oblal bkp ydtla pvlxxle qasx. Fllkdt Zw Tykikys’p alclzzkswp rlakse, R pvyavle alxkdkpnkdt ycswv xuplzq, osdelakdt oblvbla R oyp yzps vbkp pxynjyczl obld R oyp wdelatskdt rwclavu. Gqvla y xsxldv sq plzq-alqzlnvksd, R qlzv vbyv R oyp y ckv xsal alypsdyczl yde bye ynvle xsal ektdkqkle cynj vbld, nypvkdt Zw Tykikys y zssj sq ekpeykd, “Tso nbkzekpb.”

R qlzv vbyv Zw Tykikys oyp nywtbv wdralryale cu xu awvbzlpp nsxlcynj. Tl pvyule pkzldv qsa y zsdt vkxl yde pkzldvzu qkdkpble vbl qsse sd vbl vyczl. Gqvla rwvvkdt esod bkp nbsrpvknjp, bl vwadle vs zssj yv xl, bkp lmralppksd kdnsxryayczu lyadlpv, “Tyhl usw yzoyup vbswtbv vbyv R oyp iwkvl nbkzekpb?”

Jlqsal bkp osaep nswze lhld qkdkpb, R kxxlekyvlzu alrzkle, “Zlp.”

Zw Tykikys nzknjle bkp vsdtwl yde bwxczu ypjle qsa yehknl, “Fwnb yp?”

“Such as–” I muttered and remained silent for a long while, “There’s too many to mention.”

He looked at me with an ambiguous look, “I think you’re also quite childish, Shi Ran.”

I answered back sarcastically, “That’s because I’m forever young. I’m forever young and beautiful so I’ll always have a pure and innocent heart.”

Yu Haiqiao’s expression looked as if he wanted to choke due to the words I just said. After a long time, he muttered, “The f*ck…..”

I tapped my hand on the table, “Hurry up and settle the bill.”

Yu Haiqiao said, “Why do you seem to have never-ending warped perceptions…”

I callously replied, “Stop trying to worm your way into becoming friends with your ex-wife. Settle the bill and transfer the money to me.”

Yu Haiqiao called for someone to get the bill and the waitress immediately walked towards Yu Haiqiao with the receipt, saying with a smile, “Sir, the total is 83 yuan. Will you be paying by WeChat Pay or cash?”

Yu Haiqiao looked at me, “41 yuan and 50 cents, transfer it to me later.”

My breath stopped when I heard this. Yu Haiqiao really had lost his humanity. I politely asked him, “Who agreed to split the bill with you? Moreover, you ate 70 yuan worth of food on the table whereas the most I ate was the remaining 13 yuan.” After I said this, I saw the waitress standing at the side waiting for the bill, wearing an embarrassed expression. It was as if I could hear her inner voice saying——’This early morning and a couple of idiots came to have tea.’

I had always acted with dignity and didn’t want to cause any embarrassment to strangers. Moreover, at this moment, I refuse to be seen as a couple with Yu Haiqiao to other people. Even if it was only my assumption of other people’s inner voices, I wouldn’t allow it. I took out my phone from my pocket and politely told the waitress, “I’ll just pay. Where is the QR code?”

After I paid 83 yuan through WeChat, I exited the restaurant. Yu Haiqiao followed me from behind and said that he was going to send me to work. I stood at the roadside waiting for a cab and asked him, “Then do I have to pay you back for the gas fee?”

Yu Haiqiao shamelessly replied, “If you want to, sure. You also have to clear my gas fee of having to drive to your apartment. Oh and since you rode in my car several times and we went to your mom’s place, you also have to top up the gas tank.”

I suddenly thought of a joke, “If I get into an accident and you went to the hospital to give me blood, do I have to return that blood to you?”

Before the main point of the joke could even be uttered, Yu Haiqiao furrowed his brow and said in annoyance, “What nonsense are you speaking?”

I rolled my eyes at him and was about to call out for a taxi when Yu Haiqiao pulled my wrist. After I coldly told him to let go twice, he pulled me to his car, let go of my hand and sighed, “Fine. Today, our department’s having team-building so even if I reach there a little late, it’s not gonna be a problem. I’ll send you to work now.”

This world had b!tches like Yu Haiqiao who would pretend that 80 to 90 percent of the problems in their life didn’t exist. One second, he was angrily looking for a fight, the next second, he would ask what movie to watch in the afternoon. In the morning, he processed the divorce at 8:30, by 9:07m he would calmly say that he would send me to work. Did he think I was still playing house with him? Did I look like the “wife” who would pull him to play house in kindergarten?

My anger deepened sharply under his calm gaze and I told him word for word, “Yu Haiqiao, get lost.”

Yu Haiqiao put up both hands and made a surrender gesture seeing my anger, “Fine fine, I’ll go I’ll go.”

**

That day, I arrived late to work for a whole 56 minutes. When my colleague came to ask me why, I told her, “It’s nothing. Just divorced my husband.”

My colleagues thought I was joking since my favorite hobby in the company for a long time had been telling corny jokes with an expressionless face. The truth proved that making this character setting had been a good decision. Nobody pitied me as a divorced woman and some colleagues even congratulated me after chuckling. They then told me that since I was late for a long time, the boss was looking for me to have a good talk about ideals in life.

The boss was the b!tch that was second to Yu Haiqiao in my life. In the case of Yu Haiqiao, I could at least divorce him, but I couldn’t do that to my boss. I sincerely reflected my mistakes to him, saying that I would write a self-reflection paper and read it out on Monday in front of everyone like a student. The boss then reluctantly let me go back to my seat.

1,917 yuan was unable to compensate for the injury I received.

And this divorced ex-husband of mine didn’t seem to have the slightest self-awareness. The day of our divorce, he used money to tempt me to eat a meal with him. When night came, by the time I got home, I opened up a cooking app to start preparing a sumptuous dinner for myself. Before I could even take out the kitchen utensils, a knock resounded from the door. At that time, I assumed it was the grocery deliverer because at the same time I got off work, I had asked the grocery deliverer to go on an errand, thinking that by the time I reached home, he would reach home as well, but when I opened the door, I discovered Yu Haiqiao standing outside.

The moment I saw him, I reflexively wanted to frown, “What are you doing here? You look like you haven’t accepted the divorce at all.”

Yu Haiqiao smiled and told me, “I came to cadge a meal.” He then tried to squeeze into my house then surveyed the whole place before asking, “What are you eating for dinner?”

“Eating shit.” I was expressionless.

Yu Haiqiao didn’t seem to mind my uncouth words and walked towards my fridge to open it, complaining, “Why doesn’t your fridge have anything? Are you eating takeout again?” He then closed the fridge and walked towards the kitchen, continuing to ridicule, “Let’s go to the supermarket later and buy some things.”

I closed my doors and walked towards Yu Haiqiao, raising my head and looking at his face seriously. Yu Haiqiao originally looked very relaxed. After staring at him for a long time, he coughed, “What’s wrong? Did you finally realize how handsome I am and now you can’t get enough of me?”

I solemnly stared at him, “I was just observing upto what degree you can thicken your dog face to.”

Yu Haiqiao raised the corner of his lips and smiled extremely modestly, “That works as well.”

KMH – TOC for advanced chapters [Complete]