IRBSC 115

Chapter 115

Xue Yuan did it. He kissed him.

Like a surging wave, overwhelming his senses, the sweet taste of cake intensified on his tongue, so sweet that Gu Yuanbai felt like Xue Yuan was devouring it.

The feeling of weightlessness returned, accompanied by a tingling sensation, a rising and falling that left his limbs weak.

Gu Yuanbai closed his eyes, his chest tight, struggling to breathe. He tried to push Xue Yuan’s tongue away with his own, but Xue Yuan mistook it for a response and pressed in even more fervently.

How can even his tongue be so strong? What did he eat growing up?

Gu Yuanbai’s breath hitched, the thick, sticky air filled with a cloying sweetness. He used his remaining strength to kick Xue Yuan, who reluctantly pulled away, his voice hoarse with desire. “What’s wrong?”

“I’ve had enough,” Gu Yuanbai gasped, taking a deep breath of the cool air, his eyes blinking slowly. “No more kissing. It’s too sweet. My chest is tight, and my limbs are weak.”

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He struggled free from Xue Yuan’s embrace, stumbling to lean against the doorframe as he retched. Xue Yuan rushed to support him, wiping the sweat from his lips and forehead with his sleeve after he finished, gently rubbing his back with concern. “Your Majesty.”

Tian Fusheng’s eyelids twitched. He quickly stepped forward to block the view of others, announcing loudly, “Minister Xue, the physician is here! Quickly have him examine His Majesty!”

Since Xue Yuan’s residence was nearby, he carried Gu Yuanbai there directly. The Emperor was helped to sit down, and the physician took his pulse. After a moment, he frowned in confusion. “His Majesty’s heart rate is slightly elevated, and his pulse is irregular, but I don’t see anything else amiss.”

Gu Yuanbai’s expression darkened.

After a long silence, he dismissed everyone except his personal attendants and Xue Yuan, who stubbornly refused to leave. “Tian Fusheng, I’ve been experiencing weakness in my limbs whenever I walk too much recently, and today my heart is racing. You’re always by my side. Tell me, do you experience the same?”

Tian Fusheng hadn’t considered this before. He thought back carefully and shook his head. “Your Majesty, this old servant hasn’t experienced anything like that. But strangely, I used to feel drowsy when attending Your Majesty, but lately, I’ve been feeling more energetic, especially around midday, enough to run a lap.”

Gu Yuanbai fell silent for a moment, then questioned each of his attendants individually.

None of them reported similar symptoms. Some felt nothing unusual, while others felt slightly more energetic. However, every one of them, male or female, was healthier and younger than Gu Yuanbai, and younger than Tian Fusheng.

Gu Yuanbai initially suspected foul play, but after questioning everyone, another possibility arose: his body was deteriorating, his lifespan nearing its end.

His complexion was pale. Xue Yuan, watching him, gripped the armrest, his knuckles white, his jaw clenched.

Death had never been a particularly frightening concept for Xue Yuan.

But now it was.

A heavy silence filled the room.

Suddenly, Gu Yuanbai clutched his chest again, his face contorted in pain. The heart palpitations and anxiety returned, like a real fire burning through his internal organs.

Large beads of sweat rolled down his forehead. Gu Yuanbai thought, Damn it.

Goddamn it.

My life, the life I’ve protected for so long, no one can take it from me so easily.

Fortunately, this episode only recurred twice. After enduring the inexplicable anxiety, Gu Yuanbai was too exhausted to return to the palace. “Xue Yuan, I need to rest.”

Xue Yuan knelt before him on one knee, his broad back towards the Emperor. “I will take you to your chambers.”

As he carried Gu Yuanbai to the bedroom, bathed in moonlight, the stars still shone brightly, but the earlier lighthearted mood was gone.

Seeing Xue Yuan’s continued silence, Gu Yuanbai suddenly said languidly, “Xue Jiuyao, your lips are quite sweet.”

Xue Yuan’s arms trembled, nearly dropping the Emperor. He steadied himself and mumbled, “Mm.”

Gu Yuanbai glanced at the back of his head, exasperated. “Why do you talk so much when you shouldn’t, and then fall silent when you should speak?”

Xue Yuan’s heart ached, his hands still trembling as he held the Emperor. “Your Majesty, my heart aches for you.”

“…Why is it your heart that aches?” Gu Yuanbai whispered. “I haven’t even complained.”

As soon as he finished speaking, he felt Xue Yuan’s grip tighten. He looked down in the moonlight and saw the tendons in Xue Yuan’s neck bulging. He could even hear the grinding of his teeth.

Gu Yuanbai fell silent.

He couldn’t even define his relationship with Xue Yuan. It wasn’t the typical dynamic between emperor and subject, nor were they lovers, nor simply bed partners.

It was a tangled mess.

After Xue Yuan placed him on the bed, Gu Yuanbai reached out and hooked Xue Yuan’s chin. “I complimented your sweet lips. Don’t you have any reaction?”

Xue Yuan sighed, trying to remove Gu Yuanbai’s hand. “Your Majesty, my mouth is filled with bitterness now.”

Gu Yuanbai withdrew his hand and lay back on the bed, closing his eyes.

Despite his recent discomfort, his features still held the vitality of the living. Xue Yuan watched him for a long moment, then wiped his face, removed Gu Yuanbai’s shoes, socks, and outer robes, and brought a basin of warm water, using a damp cloth to wipe his hands and feet.

Xue Yuan thought Gu Yuanbai had fallen asleep, but as he wiped his fingers, Gu Yuanbai suddenly spoke. “Xue Jiuyao, my health is failing.”

Xue Yuan paused, continuing to wipe his hands, his voice hoarse. “I know.”

Gu Yuanbai’s voice seemed to stretch out, as if carried on a cold wind, separating him from Xue Yuan by a long, invisible street. No matter how long they walked, it seemed they had only covered a third of the distance. “I don’t want to die, but some things are beyond my control. To be rational, Xue Jiuyao, it’s best you keep your distance from me.”

Plop.

The cloth fell to the floor.

Xue Yuan bent to pick it up and tossed it into the basin. After a long silence, he asked, “What do you mean by ‘keep my distance’?”

Gu Yuanbai lay with his eyes closed, as if he hadn’t heard.

The bitterness and grief in Xue Yuan’s heart brought tears to his eyes. He stared intently at Gu Yuanbai, but Gu Yuanbai didn’t look at him.

“You truly are remarkable, Gu Lian. You can bring tears to my eyes with a single sentence.” He spoke through gritted teeth, his hand clenching into a fist. “Those words, ‘keep my distance,’ I’ve never known how to write them.”

Gu Yuanbai finally opened his eyes to look at him. Xue Yuan abruptly stood up, his expression suddenly fierce. “As long as you live, I will not leave your side. And when you are about to die, I will stab myself in the heart first, blocking your path to the underworld if I have to.”

He turned and left, the doors and windows rattling in his wake.

Gu Yuanbai was stunned. But a moment later, the door rattled again. Xue Yuan returned, placed a wooden carving in Gu Yuanbai’s hand, and quickly left like the wind.

Finally, silence returned to the room.

Gu Yuanbai raised his hand. The wooden carving in his palm was smooth and warm, the features bearing a slight resemblance to his own, the corners of the lips curved in a smile, the robes flowing.

He turned it over. Two lines were carved on the back.

[In the tenth year of Jingping, this was carved by your subject for you.

This is your subject’s birthday gift. I hope it pleases you.]