Chapter 47: Trying Again

In the end, I was going to play with Kaya-san for some reason. We agreed on a date and time, and she was very happy afterwards…

What should I do? We hadn’t decided on the concrete details. We’d just decided on the date and time. But maybe I should let Kaya-san lead and gain experience through that on how Touka Academy girls played.

It wasn’t like I had no experience with girls… hang on, something there sounded weird, but… anyway, I didn’t know much about normal girls; I wouldn’t know any more about upper-class ladies. That was why I didn’t know how friendly I should act with everyone, what I should talk about, and what we should play.

It was a good idea to let the older sister lead for now. Gaining experience that way would help me out in the future. But playing with Kaya-san wouldn’t be much use in the matter with Satsuki-chan. The day we’d agreed on was still far away, so even if I thought of inviting Satsuki-chan to play once I’d played with Kaya-san, we’d be doing that much farther in the future. I should think about Kaya-san and Satsuki-chan’s matters as separate.

“Hmm… oh! Brother!”

“Hm? What is it?”

Maybe I should ask my brother, who was riding the car home with me. Even though there were differences between boys and girls, he was still a student attending Touka Academy who’d grown up in an upper-class environment. There was a possibility that he’d be at least a little helpful.

“When you are making friends, brother, what do you do?”

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“…bx? Wakldep? Gal usw ypjkdt ycswv bso vs xyjl qakldep?”

Yu casvbla zssjle yv xl olkaezu. Ebyv eke vbyv zssj kd bkp lulp xlyd…?

“Zlp. Rq R okpb vs xyjl qakldep okvb psxlsdl… obyv oswze R es ps ol nswze clnsxl qakldep?”

Yu casvbla oyp pvkzz zssjkdt yv xl olkaezu, cwv R nswzed’v cynj swv dso. R’e ypjle bkx yzalyeu yduoyu. Rdpvlye sq okvbeayokdt xu pvyvlxldv dso, R pbswze nzlyazu ypj obyv R oydvle vs ypj.

“Txx… nyd’v usw fwpv pyu “Nlv’p cl qakldep”?”

Jasvbla… oswze usw lhla plakswpzu pyu vbyv zkdl vbyv yrrlyale kd ydkxl, xydty, yde tyxlp? R’e dlhla pyke vbyv sdnl kd xu rypv zkql, usw jdso… Xb! Yyucl vbyv oyp obu R oyp zsdlzu yde qakldezlpp… Tso hlmkdt!

Elzz, R oypd’v vbl sdzu sdl obs oswzed’v pyu kv; Iyuy-pyd pyke vbl pyxl vss. R xlyd, vbkdjkdt ycswv kv dsaxyzzu, dsv xydu rlsrzl pyke vbyv. R byed’v blyae kv dsa bye kv pyke vs xl. Zsw dsaxyzzu eked’v pyu vbl ynvwyz osaep “Nlv’p cl qakldep” vs psxlsdl, cwv usw kdpvlye dyvwayzzu clnyxl qakldep.

Wakldepbkrp olal byae clnywpl sq vbyv. Sktbv… Rv dsaxyzzu vssj y qlo xllvkdtp yde nsdhlapyvksdp clqsal csvb ryavklp dyvwayzzu clnyxl qakldep. Zsw eked’v ynvwyzzu vbkdj “Nlv’p cl qakldep”. Ebld R oyp qkdyzzu yoyal sq vbyv yde vbswtbv ycswv kv, R qlzv vbyv qakldepbkr oyp qaktbvldkdtzu byae. R eked’v jdso obyv vs es yv yzz.

“Brother, have you ever said such a line before?”

“Huh? I haven’t? I haven’t needed to, you know?”

Oi! You’d never said it, but you’re still telling me that I should! What was this brother?

“With friendships, you do not think “I want to be friends with this person”. That is why I cannot say “Let’s be friends”.”

“Well, that is true…”

Yeah… it was normally like that. If both parties wanted to become friends, then they naturally would be… If that didn’t happen… that meant the other person was…

“Well, you don’t have to think of it too hard. Friends can be made in an instant.”

Oh… what did my brother think of me, who was a friendless, lonely guy? Did he think of me as some sad guy who was asking how to make friends…?

“Up until sixth grade, I knew people but didn’t have any particularly close friends. But there were people I immediately became friends with. There were also people who I had known for a long time but became friends with gradually. If you overthink it or act strangely, your relationship’ll get weird. If you act normally, you’ll be friends someday.”

“Brother…”

Was Yoshizane-kun really a sixth-grader? Why was he saying things so similar to a life coach? If you said that he was a reincarnator like me, I’d believe you…

Well, anyway… I understood what my brother was saying. It was a good idea not to think too strangely or you’d get into a horrible situation. Maybe my brother was just trying to say “Don’t overthink and act normally”…

　　～～～～～～～

I had said I couldn’t think of nor fathom it, but… I was thinking about how to casually approach Satsuki-chan, but… no matter how hard I thought, I couldn’t think of any casual way. I couldn’t do this… I didn’t have interpersonal skills, so I had no idea what to do at these times.

I entered the classroom with my heart racing, and Satsuki-chan was sitting calmly in her seat as usual. Casually… so she wouldn’t notice…

“G-G-G-Greetings, Satsuki-channn.”

“Sakuya-chan? Has something happened?”

“Huh? N-N-N-Nothing?”

“…is that so.”

Uwah… Satsuki-chan was looking at me suspiciously… My voice had cracked and I was stuttering: I was completely suspicious. I had even tried to evade her question, but she’d seen right through me. I was utterly suspicious. This was a failure…

“Sakuya-chan… you can talk to me anytime if something has happened, yes? I can always listen to whatever you have to say, okay? That is… something friends do, right?”

“Oh…”

As Satsuki-chan said that while staring at me, I saw genuine concern in her eyes. Maybe… I wasn’t the only one randomly thinking that there was distance between us? Had I really created those walls myself? Hadn’t Satsuki-chan already become proper friends with me?

“…hehe. That is true.”

“Mhm. Yes.”

I laughed a little, then Satsuki-chan laughed too. Alright… let’s invite Satsuki-chan for lunch today.

“Satsuki-chan, would you like to eat lunch together today?”

“What…? But…”

Oh… Satsuki-chan’s gaze wandered slightly, and she hesitated. She was probably thinking about Azami-chan and the others.

At this point, Satsuki-chan and I couldn’t eat lunch together. Ever since Azami-chan’s group had opened up to me, I’d been having lunch with them.

Azami-chan’s group and Satsuki-chan’s group weren’t on the best terms. I would even say they were on horrible terms from the beginning. The heads of their respective groups, Azami-chan and Satsuki-chan, were at least on speaking terms right now, but they were rarely together. That was probably out of consideration for the people in their factions.

Though I didn’t think that the heads were that hostile towards each other, they couldn’t be the only ones on good terms while their respective followers and faction members viewed each other with animosity.

Of course, if the heads resolved their issues and grew closer, they could order the other kids in their faction to act friendly towards each other too. But the both of them weren’t that close. They weren’t overly antagonistic, and they greeted each other when they saw each other, but they weren’t particularly close.

I had to do something about that too… It was my fault for leaving Azami-chan and Satsuki-chan’s groups alone because they weren’t on good terms…

In “Love Flowers”, both groups had been combined and obeyed Lady Sakuya. That was why the both of them and their respective factions were unified. But I hadn’t done that… I didn’t want to live as Lady Sakuya, so I had abandoned this, that, other things, and whatever I could, which messed up everything.

Wasn’t I getting my just desserts? I hadn’t made contact with anyone, so of course I couldn’t make friends. I myself ran counter to the game while saying what had happened in the game, so I couldn’t expect everything to go the way that the game played out.

“I have something I wish to talk to you about. What about eating lunch together?”

“..,understood. Let us do that.”

Thank goodness… Satsuki-chan agreed to it. Now I had to tell Azami-chan and the others that I wouldn’t be eating with them. If I didn’t say a word, I’d be eating with Azami-chan like usual. I did have to arrange Azami-chan and Satsuki-chan’s friendship, but I’d talk leisurely with Satsuki-chan for today.

　　～～～～～～～

I restlessly waited for lunchtime. I had already told Azami-chan and the others, and I had set up a meeting with Satsuki-chan. At lunch, I invited Satsuki-chan to head with me to the cafeteria. We ate lunch together like before… I suppressed my impatience and waited for the right time.

“Let us… go to the salon to have a short chat?”

“Yes. Then, let us go.”

Satsuki-chan answered immediately, so much so that I wondered if she knew I invited her to the salon. It was hard to talk in a crowded place like this. There was a possibility that there’d be someone inside the salon, but that didn’t mean there was always someone in there. We could peek inside the salon to check. If no one was there, we could talk there, but if someone was, we could go to a different location.

We arrived at the Five Norths Association salon and I peeked inside, but no one was in there today. This was really convenient for me, so I entered the salon with Satsuki-chan and we took our seats. If we sat near the entrance, our voices might leak to the outside, and if someone came in, we’d be really close to them, so we sat in the farther seats.

“Then… what was it you said you wanted to talk about?”

Satsuki-chan asked this time. I lowered my head towards Satsuki-chan.

“I had thought that I wanted to become friends with you, Satsuki-chan. But I made a mistake.”

“Huh? What…?”

Satsuki-chan was confused since I’d suddenly lowered my head towards her. She stiffened, wondering what to say.

“Satsuki-chan, you have called me your “friend”. We are already friends. Even so, I had assumed the presence of nonexistent walls and selfishly thought that I couldn’t be your friend. I am very sorry! You have already thought of me as your friend, but I still felt an imaginary distance and walls between us!”

“…wro…”

I lowered my head once again, and Satsuki-chan muttered something. She said something just now, right?

“Please lift your head, Sakuya-chan…”

Satsuki-chan prompted me to lift my head. Huh? For a second there, she looked like she was going to cry?

…was I just imagining it?

Her expression right now looked normal. Maybe I was just imagining things…

“Sakuya-chan… then… let us be friends from now on? Will that not be okay?”

“Satsuki-chan…”

Was she forgiving this stupid me… Was she saying all the imaginary walls I’d somehow felt were gone… Was she saying “Let’s begin a true friendship”…

As she said this morning, Satsuki-chan always thought of me as her friend. And I was the one who said what she had told me that morning. Azami-chan had told me that if I was Satsuki-chan’s friend I could listen to what she had to say… Because I’d said that to Satsuki-chan, she…

Even so, I felt distance and walls between me and Satsuki-chan… I had thought Satsuki-chan considered me a friend, but… I was so stupid…

If there were people who were easy to understand, there were also people who were hard to understand. Azami-chan easily expressed her emotions; she was easy to understand. Compared to that, Satsuki-chan didn’t easily express her emotions; she was hard to understand. I should’ve known that, but… I knew nothing about Satsuki-chan.

“I am sorry, Satsuki-chan. From now on… from now on I will not doubt our closeness. This time… let us be proper friends.”

“…yes.”

Satsuki-chan and I squeezed each other’s hands. I had overly hurt Satsuki-chan because I was an idiot. I wouldn’t do something this stupid again. I wouldn’t trample on Satsuki-chan’s emotions again. I’d be a proper friend to her this time. 

“Oh! Yes! Then to celebrate us becoming proper friends… let us go play together?”

“Hu… huh… let us do that.”

Satsuki-chan’s gaze wandered for a second, but she immediately looked back at me and nodded.