My Beloved Ghost

Chapter 7.1

Cang Qiong and his godfather weren’t in the mood to go anywhere else. They returned to their own city directly. Along the way, Cang Qiong had not spoken a single word to his godfather. As soon as they walked out of the train station, he immediately separated from his godfather…

‘Kong Kong, I really want to see you…’

But poor Kong Kong had no idea of Cang Qiong’s circumstances yet. He was dying from boredom as he stayed home alone at the moment.

Kong Kong walked from the balcony to the kitchen, then returned from the kitchen to the balcony… ‘Huh? Is that Qiong Qiong? He hadn’t left for that long but why did he come back on the same state? Was the trip canceled? Or has he succumbed to his conscience and decided to take me on the trip?’

Kong Kong looked closely and ensured that the person must be Cang Qiong! That unscrupulous person! As he leaned out his body and was about to call Cang Qiong, he changed his mind: ‘No, he abandoned me this time. I must show him that I’m really angry now! So that next time he will take me with him!’


So he retreated into the room again and waited for Cang Qiong to come home.

Kong Kong waited patiently, but Cang Qiong didn’t come up. Around this time, Cang Qiong should have already entered their home. ‘Did he change his mind and leave for his trip again?’

Kong Kong rushed to the balcony, but there wasn’t a single trace of Cang Qiong on the road! Was it just his hallucination, or did Cang Qiong really leave again?

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Mbl elralpple Isdt Isdt zsolale bkp blye; cwv qswde Uydt Cksdt pvydekdt wdela vbl cyznsdu. Tkp lulp olal ale yp bl pvyale yv Isdt Isdt rldpkhlzu.

“Cksdt Cksdt?” Isdt Isdt lmnzykxle.

Uydt Cksdt zsolale bkp blye.

“Usxl sd, obu eked’v usw nsxl wr?”

Uydt Cksdt eked’v ydpola.

“Cksdt Cksdt, obyv byrrldle vs usw?” Isdt Isdt qlzv vbyv psxlvbkdt oyp oasdt. Ebu eke Cksdt Cksdt yrrlya vs cl ekx-okvvle fwpv yqvla bl zlqv qsa vbl obszl eyu? Ebyv byrrldle vs bkx?

Uydt Cksdt pzsozu aykple bkp blye yde srldle bkp yaxp, “Isdt Isdt, es usw oydv vs ts pbsrrkdt? Kwxr esod…”

“Kwxr esod? R nyd fwpv oyzj esod vbl pvykap!” Isdt Isdt qlzv y zkvvzl clvvla obld bl blyae Uydt Cksdt oydvle vs vyjl bkx swv qsa y oyzj.

But Cang Qiong insisted, “No, just jump down. I will catch you.”


“No, no! What if I jump down and crush you?” Asked Kong Kong with a smile.

“I would prefer it if you crushed me to death. Then I would be able to accompany you as a ghost…” It sounded like a joke yet there wasn’t a single trace of happiness on his face.

Kong Kong knew that he was very light. After all, he was an old ghost who had already been dead for 12 years. He didn’t have much weight left in him. And he knew Cang Qiong would be fine even if he leaped out and crashed on him. Therefore, with his eyes closed,  Kong Kong jumped down. Cang Qiong caught him and hugged him into his arms.

“Qiong Qiong, have you realized your fault yet? You succumbed to your conscience and agreed to take me with you now?” Kong Kong smiled, wrapping his arms around Cang Qiong’s neck, with no plans of letting go.

“Yes, it’s all my fault. I was wrong! Very wrong! Outrageously wrong! Absurdly wrong!… I don’t know how to make it up to you…”

“What are you talking about?” Kong Kong started to worry when he saw how strange Cang Qiong’s face was. Before he could ask him what had happened, Cang Qiong showed him a gentle smile…

“Kong Kong, let’s go. You can go wherever you want.”

“Yeah!” Kong Kong held his face and kissed him several times…

During the whole day, Cang Qiong followed Kong Kong everywhere; they held hands, wandering around the bustling streets until the street lights were lit. The two began to walk home…

Cang Qiong carried 10 buns from Xinghualou, which were Kong Kong’s breakfast for tomorrow. He now felt an unbearable heartache whenever he thought of “XingHuaLou”.

Kong Kong happily walked in front, but Cang Qiong followed behind him in a daze…

“Qiong Qiong! Look at that overpass over there!”


Cang Qiong roused from his thoughts and saw the overpass that Kong Kong was pointing at. It was the one where he met Kong Kong ‘a few days ago.’

“Qiong Qiong, the first time I met that boy was on that overpass!”

“Real— Really?” ‘Kong Kong, how should I tell you… that person was me…’

“Huh? Why do you look gloomy?! Are you jealous?” Kong Kong blinked his cute eyes, looking at Cang Qiong.

Cang Qiong forced a smile, “No, no, how is that possible?!” ‘How could I be jealous of myself?’

Kong Kong suddenly had a thought. He pulled Cang Qiong and said, “Qiong Qiong, I want to tell you the whole story of my ‘first love’. Can we do a reenactment of it?”

Live reenactment?

“Will that be okay with you? I wanted you to know everything about me and him…”

“Okay…” Cang Qiong nodded.

Like a robot receiving orders, Cang Qiong walked up, step by step. But what appeared in front of his eyes was the Kong Kong in a high school uniform…

“Okay, please look at me! I’m walking down now!” As expected, Kong Kong stared at Cang Qiong as he did that day. And then, feigning clumsiness, he plunged into Cang Qiong’s arms – not like a genuine fall at all. 

Hiding his face in Cang Qiong’’s arms, Kong Kong began to explain: “On the day I accidentally fell, he fortunately caught me or I would have fallen miserably!”


“Did you pay too much attention to the handsome guy?” Although he was awfully distressed that he could hardly breathe, Cang Qiong still joked about Kong Kong…

“No!” Kong Kong immediately pouted to express his “pureness”, “Do you know what he said to me at that time?”

Cang Qiong smiled lightly, pretending to think and say: “Let me think about it… um if it was me, I would say… ‘Kong Kong, I know I’m handsome and you can’t resist looking at me. But you need to be careful when you walk'”

Kong Kong opened his eyes in surprise, “How is that possible?! You’ve guessed it perfectly well! … Did you hear it from when I was sleep talking?”

“You only sleep talk about steamed buns. How can you tell me this kind of thing?”

Kong Kong looked at Cang Qiong suspiciously and secretly affirmed that he must have talked in his sleep when Cang Qiong heard it, he then continued: “Then I asked him how did he knew my name was Kong Kong, but he replied that he knew my name because he liked me.……”

“Acceptable reason, then what?”

“And then… and then…”

“Then he kissed you, didn’t he?”

“How could you know?!” Kong Kong was even more certain that he must have mentioned all these to Cang Qiong!

Cang Qiong tenderly hugged Kong Kong. However, his eyes were a little sad, “Was it your first kiss?”

Kong Kong nodded. Cang Qiong continued to ask, “Tell me what you felt about that kiss…”


Kong Kong looked at Cang Qiong worriedly and asked, “Will you be angry if I tell you?”

“I won’t.”

“I found it strange actually. Although he was a stranger, I didn’t hate his kisses at all. Instead, I felt warm and sweet!”

“Is it like this…” Cang Qiong lowered his head and kissed Kong Kong. Just like that day…

After walking off the overpass, Kong Kong started chattering about what happened at the noodle restaurant that day. Because the restaurant wasn’t there anymore, Kong Kong had to describe it.

Cang Qiong asked where the 100 yuan RMB was. Kong Kong said that he hid it under the cover of a dictionary, but he didn’t know where the dictionary was now… Maybe it was burned by his mother long ago…

It seemed that Kong Kong cherished that money very much.

Going downstairs, Kong Kong talked about the BBQ pork buns from XingHuaLou…

“You know what? I’ve never eaten XingHuaLou’s BBQ pork buns before, and he suddenly told me that he bought my favorite BBQ pork buns. It was so weird! … But now, because of him, I think I really like it…Qiong Qiong, let’s sit on the stairs and eat these buns, shall we?”

“Okay…Okay…” Just as expected, this historical cycle was like an inexplicable vortex…

Sitting down beside Kong Kong, Cang Qiong took out a steamed bun. “It’s cold now. This would have been more delicious if it was warm…”

Kong Kong glanced at Cang Qiong again in surprise…

Eating buns next to Kong Kong was like two days ago for Cang Qiong; but for Kong Kong, it has been 12 years. ‘Twelve years, from elementary school till university, I have been happy every year; I have my parents and godfather to spoil me, but Kong Kong had been lonely in the dark apartment for twelve years, and all these were caused by me… What should I say to him? How can I tell him…’

“Qiong Qiong, why are you crying? You’re acting strange!”

“I may have had trachoma recently, so I can’t help but get teary-eyed against the wind…”

“No wonder your eyes are red all day. You must see a doctor!”

“I know. After the holidays, I will go to the school hospital…”

Kong Kong was certain that something had happened to Cang Qiong. Once Cang Qiong returned home, he became completely lost and was always in a daze for a while… When Kong Kong was using a fruit knife to cut an apple, Cang Qiong rushed up nervously and knocked down the fruit knife! But whenever Kong Kong asked him what was wrong, he refused to say anything; Moreover, every time Kong Kong asked him, his eyes began to turn red, so Kong Kong didn’t dare to ask him anymore…

Kong Kong urged Cang Qiong to lie down and rest early. After the exhausting journey during the day, Cang Qiong quickly fell asleep. Turning off the light, Kong Kong carefully laid down beside Cang Qiong. Just before he fell asleep, Cang Qiong suddenly shouted out “Kong Kong!”, and Kong Kong immediately bounced off the bed!

“Qiong Qiong! Qiong Qiong…” Kong Kong called out, but there was no response. It turned out that Cang Qiong was sleep talking…

“Kong Kong… Kong… I’m sorry…” Cang Qiong seemed to be stuck in a nightmare!

Kong Kong got up, turned on the lamp, and then looked closely at Cang Qiong’s face… ‘Why is Cang Qiong crying? Qiong Qiong, are you having a nightmare?’

Cang Qiong’s dream became more and more intense. He kept calling out to Kong Kong and began to struggle on the bed, stretching out his hands and waving them in the air. As if he was trying to grab onto something but couldn’t…


“Qiong Qiong!” Kong Kong tried to wake him up, but Cang Qiong was still engulfed in his nightmare.

‘What was he dreaming about anyway? Even if you didn’t take me with you on that trip, you don’t have to cry like this? Did you do something wrong to me?’

Kong Kong thought about it for a while, then gently pressed on Cang Qiong’s body and entered his dream…

Cang Qiong’s dream was black and white. It was so dark…’Why is there no color at all? Where is Qiong Qiong?’

Kong Kong felt that Cang Qiong’s dream was like a boundless black hole… He saw a small bright spot that looked like a silhouette of a person. So, he walked slowly towards the bright spot. As he got closer, he heard someone crying…

“Kong Kong, wake up! Kong Kong…” This was the voice of Qiong Qiong! Seeing the person’s facial outline from a distance, Kong Kong recognized Cang Qiong who was kneeling and holding something in his arms…

Kong Kong walked closer and closer, and gradually saw that Cang Qiong was holding a person… Kong Kong walked behind him and was surprised to find that the person that Cang Qiong was holding was himself!

Kong Kong looked at himself in disbelief. The other Kong Kong had a deep cut on his wrist. Although the dream was black and white, he could still see the sticky, dark red blood flowing out of the wound… ‘Is it… …Was this me when I died? No way!’

Cang Qiong hugged his former body and wept bitterly, constantly apologizing, and kept scolding himself…

‘What happened?’ “Qiong Qiong…” Kong Kong called out softly. The surrounding area was so quiet that Cang Qiong eventually heard him… He slowly turned his head and saw Kong Kong…

“Kong Kong?” Cang Qiong saw him and looked back at the ‘Kong Kong’ in his arms…

“Qiong Qiong, I’m Kong Kong! Look at me!”

Cang Qiong turned his head blankly, and finally, the ‘Kong Kong’ in his arms disappeared…

“Qiong Qiong, don’t cry… Tell me, what happened?” Kong Kong knelt down and hugged Cang Qiong tightly. At that moment, Cang Qiong was like a wounded child, drooping his head and leaning on Kong Kong’s shoulder. Kong Kong comforted him gently…

“Qiong Qiong, something bad happened, right? Can you tell me?”

Under the persuasion of Kong Kong, Cang Qiong finally spoke up…

“I did something wrong…I don’t know how to tell you…”

“Then tell me exactly everything that has happened…”

“You will hate me, you will hate me…”

“No, I’ll never hate you…even if you kill me, I won’t hate you…”


“It’s simple. Because I love you…”

Kong Kong felt Cang Qiong’s weak arms hug him tightly. It seems that Cang Qiong has received some kind of comfort from him… “Okay, can you tell me what happened now?”

Cang Qiong fell silent for a while and then spoke slowly, “I went back to 12 years ago…”

“What?” ‘Were you having a dream in your dream?’

“I didn’t go on a trip. I just went back to 12 years ago… Back to a couple of days before you died. I wanted to stop you from resorting to suicide. If you weren’t harmed, you wouldn’t have died and would be alive now! But– but I…” Cang Qiong became more and more frustrated as he spoke as if he was having troubles in expressing himself clearly.

“Speak slowly, slowly… There’s no need to be in a hurry! You went back to 12 years ago, and then what?”

“Then, I met you on that overpass…”

If Kong Kong could still breathe, he would definitely take a sharp breath! ‘Was it real?’

“And then what?”

Cang Qiong didn’t say anything. Later, he told Kong Kong: “12 years ago, the boy you liked was me… I went back to the past and met you. It was me who killed you!”

“You didn’t kill me…”

“It was me! Me! If it weren’t for me, that bastard wouldn’t be so mad with jealousy and do such unforgivable things to you!”

“It’s not your fault! What he said was the truth though. I do like you!”

“This is not the ending I want!”

“What do you want? You don’t want me to die and live as a normal person…but…if that’s the case, I wouldn’t meet you again. If I didn’t meet you, I’d rather choose to wait for you for 12 years! “

“But, in these 12 years, you must have been very lonely and in pain…”

“No, no. It was over in a blink of an eye! Really! Besides, you whispered in my ear that you will be waiting for me! Your words were my motivation to wait!”

“My words?”

“After I died, I seemed to have heard a voice; but when I was leaving my body, there was no one in the bathroom, so I thought it was a hallucination! Now I understand, you were crying and holding me at that time, right?”

Cang Qiong nodded.

“It turns out that the person was you… This is great! No wonder I couldn’t help but want to get close to you when I saw you on the first day you moved in. We were destined to meet! No one can change it! “

‘Someone can. But he doesn’t want it to change…’ Cang Qiong thought and asked: “Kong Kong, don’t you wish you were living as a human?”

“Of course I want to! But that’s because I feel inferior when I’m with you. Even if I want to become a human again, I don’t want to do it this way! Besides, after I thought about it, I was determined that no matter what you thought of me — as long as I love you with all my heart — It doesn’t matter whether you will always be with me in the future…”

“Kong Kong… Don’t you think it’s more important to be alive than knowing me?”

“Knowing you is more important… Even if I have to spend my whole life waiting for you, I won’t regret…”

Cang Qiong’s tear-stained face looked straight at Kong Kong and made his promise: “Kong Kong, I swear, I will always be with you…”

Cang Qiong started kissing Kong Kong, kissing his lips, up to his cheek, and down to his collarbone… Kong Kong began to tremble uncontrollably.

“Kong Kong, look at me, think of me, call my name… Except me, don’t think about anything else…”

“Em…” Kong Kong hugged Cang Qiong, looking at him tenderly…


Waking up in the morning, Cang Qiong was a little dazed. He vaguely remembered dreaming about Kong Kong yesterday, confessing his painful experience that he would never have dared to say in reality. His confession seemed to have some effect. At least he didn’t feel so uncomfortable in his heart. Cang Qiong turned over and felt something was wrong. He jolted up, wide-awake.

Rushing into the bathroom, he looked at himself, “Ah! My underwear is dirty! Oh right, I had a spring dream all night yesterday! Fortunately, it was just a dream… When I think about it, it was a very special dream!”

Cang Qiong secretly looked at Kong Kong who looked like he was still sound asleep. So Cang QIong quickly pulled out a pair of clean underwear and rushed into the bathroom…

Kong Kong opened one eye and peeped at Cang Qiong. Actually, Kong Kong didn’t sleep at all last night. He was afraid that Cang Qiong would know that he entered into his dream without his permission. And that… that they did… Fortunately, Kong Kong was a ghost. He didn’t blush nor had a pounding heart, or he would look like a cooked shrimp! ‘But Qiong Qiong is so shy. He changed his underwear in secret… so cute!’

Cang Qiong threw his underwear into the basin, put some water to soak it, and prepared breakfast while his garment was soaking to be cleaned. When he opened the refrigerator, he saw all the buns that were bought yesterday were gone. Did Kong Kong wake up in the middle of the night and ate them all? ——That’s right, after Kong Kong came out of Cang Qiong’s dream, he felt so hungry that he ate all the buns.

Cang Qiong changed his clothes, closed the door gently, and went out to buy breakfast. Just after he went out, Kong Kong got up quickly. He slyly walked into the bathroom and washed Cang Qiong’s underwear. When Cang Qiong bought their breakfast and came home, he saw that Kong Kong was already sitting there, waiting for him…

“You got up so early!”

“Good morning! Have you brushed your teeth?”


“Then you eat first. I have to brush my teeth and wash up…” Cang Qiong walked into the bathroom and quickly came out with a blushing face, “Kong— Kong Kong…Did you see the thing in my basin…”

“Your underwear? I washed them off!” Kong Kong pointed to the balcony, and Cang Qiong saw the underwear he had changed was hanging there, waving in the wind…

“You…you…” Cang Qiong was too embarrassed to speak. The more Kong Kong looked at Cang Qiong’s expression, the happier he became. He now finally understood the pleasure of “bullying” his lover! No wonder Cang Qiong always liked to bully him!

“Don’t worry. It’s normal! Why are you blushing?”

“I won’t tell you!” Cang Qiong was angry and turned to brush his teeth… Kong Kong giggled in secret.

After breakfast, Cang Qiong looked serious and took Kong Kong to sit on the sofa. He wanted to tell something important to Kong Kong. He hadn’t said it yet, but Kong Kong had already guessed that it was about what Cang Qiong said in his dream last night. Kong Kong was afraid that Cang Qiong would cry again, so he started chatting and changing the subject…

“Kong Kong, listen to me carefully!” Cang Qiong looked a little sullen…


“I…I didn’t go on a trip. I used my godfather’s power to go back to 12 years ago…” Cang Qiong hoped Kong Kong would have some reaction after hearing it, but Kong Kong just listened carefully. His big eyes were wide open, remaining silent like a primary school student in a class… “Don’t you understand? Is your language comprehension so poor?”

“I went back in time to stop you from killing yourself,” said Cang Qiong, but Kong Kong still didn’t respond.

“I didn’t expect that I was the guy you said…the guy you liked…” Would Kong Kong finally have a reaction this time? No. Kong Kong was still the same, unruffled!

“My arrival in the past has indirectly killed you. Kong Kong, I’m sorry…”

Kong Kong suddenly spoke: “Then you have to pay with your life!”

–No way?! Was this his reaction?

‘Sure enough, the gentle Kong Kong last night was definitely just a dream. Those words “I love you” were just a phrase that I had hoped to hear in my dream… Why is the distance between reality and dream not nearly close…’

“Whatever you want…” Cang Qiong didn’t dare to look at Kong Kong so he lowered his head dejectedly…

‘Qiong Qiong, this is the price for what you did. Going back to the past and didn’t tell me? You didn’t ask whether I agree or not. I must harshly bully you today!’

“Let me see, um…” Kong Kong then ran into the kitchen. He took out a fruit knife, and sat on Cang Qiong’s lap, moving the knife on Cang Qiong’s neck. “Is it better to cut on the left or on the right? Which side do you want?”

Cang Qiong closed his eyes, leaned his head on the sofa, and replied, “Up to you…”

“Qiong Qiong, where are the arteries?”

Cang Qiong didn’t answer.

“Forget it, let me cut on your wrist! Just like me!” Kong Kong picked up Cang Qiong’s hand, “Is this knife fast? If it’s not fast, it will hurt… Forget it, I’ll just strangle you and die in my own hands!”

Cang Qiong felt Kong Kong’s cold hands restraining his neck, but with no strength… Slowly, the hands that squeezed around his neck moved down and turned into a gentle hug…

Cang Qiong opened his eyes. He watched as Kong Kong slowly got close to him, finally putting his lips on Cang Qiong’s neck… ‘It turns out that Kong Kong wanted to drain my blood…’

Cang Qiong felt a slight prick on his neck. After a while, he heard Kong Kong say, “Yes, done!”

“What?” Was he bitten?

“Hickey! Because no matter how hard I kissed you in your dream, I couldn’t leave any hickeys, hehe… But there is now! Let me leave a few more!” Kong Kong switched sides and started kissing him again.

‘Yesterday’s dream? Kiss?’ “Kong Kong, what are you talking about?” Cang Qiong pulled Kong Kong off of his neck.

“I saw you having a nightmare yesterday, and you were calling my name… So I kindly entered your dream to see you, and to comfort you. This wounded child…” After that, he pressed his lips on his neck again.

Cang Qiong pulled him off again, “Explain it to me more clearly! You entered my dream?”


“What did I say to you?”

“You said a lot. And you were crying. I couldn’t even wipe all the tears on your face! You were so pitiful!”

“Then, you knew everything?”

“Of course, I knew! You, this wicked child, made a decision without the consent of the adult!”

“But you just took a knife trying to kill me?”

“I was just bullying you! What? You’re allowed to bully me, but I can’t?”

“When did I bully you?”

Kong Kong stood shyly, “You bullied me last night…” Cang Qiong sat there blankly, Kong Kong pointed at the waving underwear outside. Cang Qiong’s face immediately erupted like a volcano; his handsome face flushed! Kong Kong didn’t care and leaned up to continue making hickeys on Cang Qiong’s neck…

Cang Qiong’s heartbeat accelerated wildly, and his throbbing pulse could be seen on his neck, while Kong Kong smiled proudly… People in dreams could really express their true desires. The Qiong Qiong in the dream was so bold. How come Qiong Qiong became shy all of a sudden in reality?!

After Kong Kong made numerous hickeys, Cang Qiong finally realized, “Kong Kong – okay – have you finished kissing? I have to go to school in a few days!”

“Umm…” (No!)

“Alright, alright!” Cang Qiong wanted to pull Kong Kong off, but Kong Kong was firmly stuck on his neck like a leech!

Knock! Knock! Knock!——” Someone was at the door.

“Kong Kong, get down. We have a visitor!”

But Kong Kong was still hanging on Cang Qiong’s neck like a koala, refusing to come down, “The visitor can’t see me!”

Without any other way, Cang Qiong had to keep him like this…

Cang Qiong opened the door and saw a familiar face. Before Cang Qiong had the chance to speak, Kong Kong said domineeringly, “Dump your girlfriend!”

“Godfather…” Cang Qiong called softly.

‘No way?!’ Kong Kong began to doubt his own eyes. Was this person Cang Qiong’s godfather?! After all, his godfather should be a 40 or 50-year-old man, right? Besides, how come there was such a beautiful man in this world?

“Qiong Qiong, I’m sorry…” His godfather looked exhausted; his eyes were swollen; and his mental state looked very bad. In contrast, Cang Qiong appeared to be in good spirits because he was having a good time with Kong Kong.

“Kong Kong, get down for a while.”

Since the”parent” was here, there was no excuse for Kong Kong not to let go. He rushed into the kitchen, making tea for Cang Qiong’s godfather.

The godfather held the teacup, sat on the sofa, lowering his head silently while glancing occasionally at Cang Qiong. He looked like a pupil who made a grave mistake. Cang Qiong also lowered his head, not knowing what he was thinking. Only Kong Kong had his eyes wide open, observing them quietly…

After turning the teacup for a while, the godfather finally began to speak: “Qiong Qiong, I know you pretty much hate me right now. But you are not a heartless person. Can’t you even give me a chance to apologize?”

“Godfather, I don’t hate you…I’ve thought about it for a long time. And I understand that you actually did it for my own good…You are right. Forgetting the person you love is the most terrifying thing in the world…”

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