Chapter 65

Taking those words with him, Lin Xigu left the city where She Xiao lived.

His newest school was in the city where he had lived for most of his life. But he had the strange feeling that the city where She Xiao lived was his true hometown.

As the road rumbled beneath him, he could feel the distance widening between the car and the city behind them. Although he felt upset as he had expected, he was still, by all accounts, calm.

Because there were only 70 more days left. Regular classes would end a few days before the Gaokao. All in all, there was a little over two months before he could return to spending his days with She Xiao again.

Only two months. Some might consider it a long time, but it would not be wrong to call it short either. Time would pass quickly.

“You’ve got the blues again, don’t you?” The driver glanced at Lin Xigu and chuckled. “Missing your little sweetheart already?”

“Ah, yeah,” Lin Xigu chuckled too and nodded.

The driver turned up the radio for his sake and a local music station was playing. Lin Xigu did not recognize the song. When he had first been made to leave this place, every passing day had felt like a year. Looking back, more than 100 days had passed already.

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“R nswzed’v qkde kv.” Tkp eye pzke vbl cynj nshla sqq vbl alxsvl yde plv vbl vkdu pnalop ypkel. “Tyhl usw bye ekddla ulv?”

“Ls, cwv R’x dsv bwdtau.” Nkd Dktw vssj sqq vbl wdkqsax fynjlv yde qszele kv shla vbl cynj sq vbl nswnb. “Pke usw lyv?”

“R eke. R esd’v byhl yp xwnb vs osaau ycswv yp usw, ps xu yrrlvkvl’p talyv,” bkp eye pyke.

Nkd Dktw nbsavzle. “R vbkdj usw’al vaukdt vs xyjl xl xye.”

“Rq usw pyu ps.” Tkp eye zssjle wr yv bkx yde dsvknle bkp lulp, aykpkdt bkp casop. “Pke usw cwapv y oyvla rkrl?”

“Ah,” Lin Xigu rubbed his eyes. “That obvious?”

“Mn.” His dad ruffled his hair with one hand. “Why were you crying? Did something happen?”

Lin Xigu had no intention of lying to his dad. He gestured to his forearm between his wrist and his elbow. “From here, to here. His arms are almost minced meat. I can’t see any hope in the situation anymore, Pops.”

His dad’s movements slowed. Then, he heaved a sigh and resumed turning the screwdriver. “To be completely honest with you, son, I don’t know where hope could be found either.”

Lin Xigu rubbed his nose. “I guess we will have to take it one step at a time.”

He knew what his dad was thinking. What his dad wanted most was for him to leave She Xiao, to break things off with him completely. He did not want Lin Xigu to associate with that family in any way. Everybody was capable of empathy, but his child had to come first – all other feelings fell by the wayside.

But it was impossible for Lin Xigu to leave She Xiao, so the conversation ended there for the time being.

After that day, Lin Xigu’s mental state unexpectedly took a turn for the better.

Perhaps it was because he had seen She Xiao in-person and gotten the chance to recharge his batteries. Or perhaps it was those words She Xiao had said to him that made him too afraid to not sleep well or have a breakdown.

Li Balei continued to be his eyes and ears, reporting on She Xiao’s condition to him every day. She Xiao had not changed much. He spent most of his time sleeping. He still never answered Lin Xigu’s video calls, but would occasionally talk to him over the phone for a few minutes.

He did reply to most of Lin Xigu’s texts.

Lin Xigu was already pleased with what he got. He no longer needed She Xiao to be in constant communication with him. He just wanted him to be unhurt.

The countdown on the blackboard went down from the seventies to the sixties, then the fifties into the forties.

Time continued to shrink, little by little, and the weather was starting to warm again. His peers became a little more familiar to him but they were still under a lot of stress every day. In the leadup to the ultimate exam, every teacher and student carried the weight of it on their shoulders, and it seemed tiring even to a bystander looking in.

Lin Xigu’s grades held steady. He was fairly confident that he would be able to get into a first tier university.

He placed all the credit on having found himself a genius for a boyfriend. His boyfriend was far too intelligent and intelligence was contagious.

During evening self-study that night, Lin Xigu completed a set of science and math problems, then graded his answers. He had felt unsure of himself as he was writing them – there were some questions where he outright guessed, uncertain whether his logic was sound – but he was surprised to find out that he had solved the question exactly the way he was supposed to. For such a difficult set of problems, he had actually gotten most of them right.

Lin Xigu felt a little giddy as he took a picture and sent it to She Xiao.

She Xiao replied:

Great job.

Lin Xigu found the reply kind of sweet. He asked:

Do I get a prize?

She Xiao answered:

What would you like?

Lin Xigu texted:

Two kisses pls.

He did not receive a reply immediately and so Lin Xigu was thoroughly convinced that the text would just remain unanswered. But as the end of school bell rang, his phone buzzed with a new text.

=33=

Lin Xigu looked at his screen and his mind went blank. A few moments passed before he burst into laughter, doubling over his desk and hiding his snorts in his arm. He didn’t emerge until the final bell rang.

He was much too cute. It should be illegal to be so cute.

This was something Lin Xigu had explained to She Xiao before. He had sent She Xiao a long string of this particular kaomoji. She Xiao had asked him why it was so long, and Lin Xigu, grinning, had explained that each ‘3’ represented a kiss.

He never imagined that She Xiao would one day send him the same thing. It was so out of character for the usually aloof She Xiao.

But when She Xiao, with his cold and distant personality, acted cute on occasion, he was capable of dealing a critical hit to Lin Xigu’s heart and making him buckle.

He couldn’t help but bask in the glow of the kissing kaomoji the whole way home.

He meandered slowly down the street, carrying his backpack. The streetlights stretched his shadow into a long, languid line. The hazy yellow glow of the lamps, a young man walking alone – the visual of the scene exuded a kind of quiet melancholy.

Yet, the boy starring in the scene felt no sadness. On the contrary, he was overjoyed by the little text he had received from his boyfriend, bouncing a little with each step.

He called She Xiao, who surprisingly answered and it lifted Lin Xigu’s spirits even higher.

“Good evening, She Xiao!” His voice was incredibly energetic as he declared, “I miss you!”

She Xiao had a smile in his voice. “Good evening.”

“Where are you now?” Lin Xigu asked, detecting that She Xiao was walking too on the other end of the line.

“The first… intersection,” She Xiao answered.

“I just turned the corner too.” Lin Xigu clutched the phone to his ear, his lips turned up in a wide smile. “It rained here today and the air smells great.”

“Mn.”

“The third mock exam is coming up. If I do well, will I get another reward?” Lin Xigu asked, remembering the text from earlier and laughing.

She Xiao chuckled too. “What would you like?”

Lin Xigu’s eyes sparkled as he replied, “Another two kisses, but this time face-to-face. I want real kisses!”

She Xiao paused for a few seconds before agreeing, “Okay.”

“And how would you define ‘doing well’?” Lin Xigu knew his request was practically impossible. Given their current situation, they could only save up such promises for when they could finally see each other again. But in that case, he wouldn’t split hairs about one or two kisses; he would make sure to get all the kisses he could get. He smiled and continued, “Top ten?”

“Deal,” She Xiao said.

Lin Xigu kicked a small pebble, watching it roll forward and hit the edge of the road with a soft thud.

He knew that getting into his class’s top ten was unrealistic. His best result to date was thirteenth and that had been a fluke.

Smiling like a child, Lin Xigu continued, “I had a really good sleep last night. I dreamt about you. It wasn’t a nightmare. I dreamt you were in your jean jacket and you looked really nice. You were going to take me sandboarding.”

“Mn,” She Xiao answered in a low voice.

“But we couldn’t go in the end because it was raining.” Lin Xigu rambled on. On such a spring night, his chatter was warm, endearing.

Lin Xigu reluctantly hung up the phone just before going upstairs to his apartment.

He hadn’t heard She Xiao’s voice in almost a week, so the phone conversation had felt like an unexpected little gift that filled his cup completely.

After getting home, Lin Xigu finished another set of practice problems. He wasn’t tired, so he thought he might as well study. Even though he didn’t expect to break into the top ten, he still wanted to do well.

Recently, the art students had just returned from their trip, and Lin Xigu found himself with a new tongzhuo. His new neighbour was one of those art students and a very cool guy.

He was tall and reasonably good-looking. If Lin Xigu hadn’t yet met She Xiao, he might have enjoyed sharing a desk with him.

But after meeting She Xiao, everyone else looked the same to him. After seeing the most beautiful face, all others became unmemorable.

Lin Xigu noted how much he had changed. Sitting next to a hot guy didn’t excite him anymore; instead, it felt quite awkward.

Because to him, his tongzhuo should be She Xiao. Without She Xiao, he would rather the seat beside him stay empty than have anyone else occupy it.

That morning, when he walked into the classroom, his new tongzhuo had already arrived and was eating xiaolongbao and sweet congee for breakfast. Seeing Lin Xigu approach, he stood up and made room for him.

“You had breakfast yet?” He asked.

Lin Xigu nodded. “Yup. You go ahead.”

“If you mind the smell, I can take it outside,” his tongzhuo said.

“No, no, it’s okay. You eat, I don’t mind.” Lin Xigu said as he took out another set of practice questions and began to write.

He was also an A-student now, of sorts.

“Do you have any napkins?” Lin Xigu heard his tongzhuo ask as he was in the middle of a question.

Lin Xigu took out a box from his desk and handed it over. “Here, help yourself.”

“Thanks.” His tongzhuo took a couple and wiped his mouth with it, then cleared off his desk and left to throw out the garbage. When he returned, he was chewing gum.

Lin Xigu hadn’t talked to him much since he was first assigned there. He wasn’t used to having someone sit beside him again all of a sudden, and he had actually felt strongly opposed to the idea.

He only wanted She Xiao in that spot.

He wanted his cool genius who spoke very little, who had a bad temper but would, over time, reveal himself to be extremely gentle.

He finished an especially complicated question, then put away his notebook, replacing it with the textbooks he would need for the next class. As he did so, his tongzhuo asked, “Do you like to draw?”

Lin Xigu blinked and looked at him. “Mn?”

The other person shrugged. “I found one of your drawings on the floor.”

That must have been one of the notes he had doodled for She Xiao. Lin Xigu suddenly felt a little self-conscious. After all, it was slightly embarrassing to be caught doodling stick figures in front of someone who would be attending LAFA¹Lu Xun Academy of Fine Arts, or LAFA, is an art school in Shenyang. in the fall.

“Ah…” Lin Xigu smiled self-consciously. “I mostly just doodle for fun.”

“For your partner?” His tongzhuo asked.

“…” Lin Xigu nodded. “Yeah…”

His tongzhuo nodded too, then said, “If you like to draw, I can teach you something simple to start. You can try it out if you’d like.”

Lin Xigu nodded, grinning. “Alright then.”

From that day on, the little stick figures that Lin Xigu drew for She Xiao evolved and became a little more complex. Their appearance changed too. After all, he was being coached by a professional now, and his figure drawing was steadily improving.

Lin Xigu drew a smiling figure and wrote beside it

– Do I look better than usual today?

She Xiao texted back:

Yes.

Lin Xigu hid a grin as he typed his reply under the desk:

My tongzhuo is an art student who’s awesome at drawing. He’s the one who taught me. 

It took five minutes for She Xiao to reply. The text contained only one word and one punctuation mark.

Mn?