One-Shot

One day,

Somewhere out there,

Somewhere along the line,

I thought I was dreaming.

Later, I woke up from a dream.

However, I didn’t know if it was truly just a dream.

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This one-shot was proofread by Bamboo Triangle.

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I thought it was just a dream.

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Xdl eyu,

Fsxloblal swv vblal,

Fsxloblal yzsdt vbl zkdl,

R xlv usw.

Mbyv lyazu xsadkdt, R osjl wr. R vbld pyo usw yde vbswtbv R oyp ealyxkdt.

Tso osdelaqwz kv oyp, vbl osaep wdela xu rld pwarakpkdtzu nalyvle y osaze sq kvp sod.

Gv vbyv vkxl, usw olal pvkzz y prkakvle vlldytla, zywtbkdt okvbswv alpvaykdv yde oyzjkdt okvb srlddlpp.

Zsw pyke vbl osaze oyp dsv rlynlqwz dsoyeyup yde ypjle xl vs qszzso usw.

Ears filled with your fellow apprentices’ oppositions, I nodded my head and said yes.

Naturally, I wanted to follow you. I didn’t care about their thoughts, because you were my protagonist.

When we returned to your sect, the sect leader called you away, probably to ask you where I came from. After all, I did come from an unknown place.

You said, “Don’t be afraid, believe me.”

Now that I thought about it, it was really incredible. I obviously met you for the first time, but you believed me so righteously, without even a trace of doubt.

However, you were able to do it.

I didn’t know how you explained it, all I knew was that you laughed, put your hand on my shoulder, and told me that I could stay here. With you.

Together.

I said, “Thank you.”

You, already a grown man, unexpectedly blushed so much, like a child who had been praised. You still stubbornly glared at me and said that I was not allowed to laugh, despite your face being obviously red in embarrassment.

A kid pretending to be an adult, I secretly thought. 

Just like all youths, you had a crush on a girl.

The girl was youthful and vibrant. She tied her hair in a ponytail with red satin, and two sweet dimples appeared on her cheeks whenever she smiled.

She would sweetly call you shixiong.¹师兄 pertains to “senior apprentice/martial brother.” Her voice was extremely sweet, a little cloying, which just happened to be your favorite.

She was the only daughter of the sect leader.

It’s a pity that the person she liked wasn’t you, it’s her dashixiong.²大师兄 may pertain to the senior male apprentice with great authority.

However, you didn’t care about that.

“Someday, I would definitely marry her,” You said. 

I looked at you and smiled in encouragement. Of course, ah. She was yours.

In the end, she would really be yours.

This world was something I created, therefore, I naturally knew how everything would develop.

You liked her, she liked her dashixiong, and the said dashixiong only liked power. This was the most melodramatic novel with a plot that readers loved the most.

When I first wrote this novel, I also catered to the public’s tastes.

A male protagonist with a golden finger learns martial arts, finds a beauty, fights with his enemies, and conquers the whole world — it was the perfect plot.

You’ve learned your martial arts well. On the contrary, I didn’t have any skills regarding this aspect.

Of course, that may be the reason I could stay.

You said to me that this world was not good— only if one possessed martial arts could one live better. Therefore, you dragged me to learn martial arts with you.

I didn’t want to.

You looked angry, stared at me for a long time, and finally left in anger.

I thought you gave up and laughed it off.

I didn’t need to learn martial arts.

Who would have expected that you would drag me out of bed early the next morning?

“You must learn martial arts! How can you live well without learning martial arts? How can you even get by?!” You insisted.

I looked at you helplessly, and after thinking about it, I acquiesced. I didn’t know when this dream would end, so I might as well go along with you and experience life with martial arts.

You finally smiled triumphantly. Your two tiger teeth showed their heads mischievously and said hello to me.

As expected, you’re a big boy. I chuckled.

Since then, you pulled me up every morning and taught me martial arts. The sect’s martial arts could not be taught to me, so you taught me to practice my fists and feet.³拳脚 means “punching and kicking.” Due to this, my fists and feet felt awfully tired and painful, yet you would not allow me to give up. However, you would give me medicine once our martial arts training was over.

I groaned in pain and you laughed at my lack of manliness. You laughed so loudly, but the movements of your hands secretly softened.  While I wasn’t paying attention, you gently blew on an aching area. When I discovered you, you had dropped the medicine and ran off.

I could only resign myself, pick up the bottle of medicine, and apply it to myself.

While I was having difficulty, my hands were suddenly empty. I turned to look, but it was you who came back.

The roots of your ears were obviously red in discomposure. Nevertheless, you insisted on lifting your chin with a look of contempt.

You said, “This little ancestor finds you pitiful.”

One day, I couldn’t find you anywhere. When I did, you were already a drunken mess, muttering about your xiao⁴小 (little) is an endearing form of address being said before a person’s nickname/title shimei.⁵师妹 translates to “junior martial sister.”

It was only then that it dawned on me that the plot had proceeded to this point. You probably saw your xiao shimei and dashixiong kissing each other.

You always believed that your xiao shimei liked you. Now that you’d witnessed such a picture, it was natural for you to be dejected for a while.

It’s not good for me to just leave, so I finally decided to stay and drink with you.

I had to say, the wine here was good, and I loved it.

You cried to me while holding a jar of wine, tears and snot came out and flowed down your face. When you saw me approaching, you wiped yourself with my sleeve. I couldn’t stop you on time. With no other choice, I could only look after you in silence.

As expected, one could only live well with martial arts. If I knew this would happen, I should have diligently practiced martial arts in order for my sleeve to escape this disaster.

Even when I was grieving, I vaguely saw your complacent expression when you grabbed my sleeve.

Really childish.

I woke up the next day with a splitting headache. Meanwhile, you were dazed and at a loss.

As soon as I saw you, I laughed at your poor alcohol tolerance.

You secretly breathed a sigh of relief, and then pretended to contradict me and say that you were the one who had better alcohol tolerance.

I knew why you took a breath of relief, I just pretended not to know.

In the moment before I woke up, I felt a strange feeling on my lips.

Even so, you still did not dare to see me again in the end. You avoided me everywhere and couldn’t directly look into my eyes.

How could, a man like you, accept being a cut-sleeve?⁶Slang for a homosexual person. It’s part of the Chinese idiom, the predilection of the cut sleeve, that came from a historical account wherein an emperor’s male lover fell asleep against his sleeve, so the emperor cut it off lest he disturbs him. The idiom has then bore the signification of homosexuality. You probably frightened yourself, I guess.　

I smiled and was so happy that someone would no longer supervise my martial arts practice.　

The sect drastically changed. The sect master suddenly died. Worst, your xiao shimei mysteriously disappeared as your dashixiong successfully took the highest position.

You were then being hunted down.

This was expected. Your dashixiong killed your shifu,⁷师父 means “martial master.” so he had been looking for someone to take the blame for him. Particularly, that black pot⁸Slang for scapegoat was, naturally, best carried by you, the most trusted disciple of the sect master.

It was killing two birds with one stone.　

This was something that all male protagonists experience, and there’s nothing surprising about it.　

But the moment I saw you being framed, I suddenly felt a little distressed.　

In the first place, you didn’t have to go through all this.

That was then that I began to realize that here, for you, was not a dream, but a complete life — a full reality.　

Although you were excellent at martial arts, you were helpless and unwilling to kill people. However, your dashixiong was pushing you every step of the way. How could you win? In the end, you were chased all the way to the edge of the cliff and jumped off the cliff in a fit of grief.

I followed close behind, and I also took a leap after you.

I wanted to perform a soulful play. Unfortunately, I was afraid of heights, and I passed out as soon as I jumped. It was really pathetic.

You were not far away when I woke up.

Dragging a limp leg, you hobbled around with a rabbit covered in blood.

It was indeed exceedingly useful to have martial arts; we didn’t have to worry about hunting food in the wilderness.

When you saw me wake up, you looked surprised, dropped the rabbit, and pounced on me.

I took a look at the rabbit. Fortunately, it was already half-dead and was unable to escape, otherwise, I would be starving.

You asked me why I jumped down with you.　

I blinked and didn’t answer.　　

How was I supposed to answer that because I was the culprit of your sufferings, therefore, I felt guilty?　　

I also didn’t know what you thought, but you looked so moved that it made me watch you with a pang of nervousness, afraid your snots and tears would flow down again.　　

Life under the mountain was quite tranquil. However, I knew that you wouldn’t resign to such a fate.

There was a martial arts secret book somewhere at the bottom of the mountain. You would find it and leave this barren place. With your brilliance, you would return to the world and create your own glory. 

Glory.　　

One day, you asked me if I wanted to go back, and I knew you found the secret book.　　

I said I wanted to.　

How could I be the stone that hinders you from success? I was just presumably here to witness your road to triumph.

You indeed found it. From that day onwards, you started to practice the martial arts from the secret book. I was at the entrance of the cave where you were practicing, waiting for you to complete your training.

On that day.　

When you returned to the sect, I squatted in an abandoned temple in a small remote mountain village.　　

That kind of chaos was not something I wanted to get involved in.　　

You said you would come back.　

I obediently stayed in the temple. I had no place to go anyway.　　

When you came back, you brought your xiao shimei with you.　

Her two little dimples were still there as she held your arm and called you shixiong. Her voice was still as cloyingly sweet — the voice you were so fond of.　　

She said that you were getting married.　　

You didn’t refute it.　　

You asked me to follow you back to the sect, but I didn’t want to go back.　

That place belonged to you and your xiao shimei, not mine.　　

You wanted to say something, but in the end, said nothing at all.　　

When you turned around and left, your xiao shimei smiled brightly at me.　

I never had the urge to laugh that much before.　

Shortly after you left, I was knocked unconscious and taken away by a group of masked men.

Really! I should have listened to you and not slacked off training in the first place. They knocked me to the point that it hurt a lot.　

When I opened my eyes again, a smell of burnt flesh filled my nostrils.　

It smelled bad.

A hoarse voice chuckled and asked me how I was feeling. I realized with hindsight that the smell was emanating from me.

I raised my head and realized how ugly the man looked, no wonder he also sounded so ugly.

The ugly man saw that I wasn’t paying him any attention. Thus, he casted another brand on my skin. At this time, I became aware of the searing pain, and I wanted to scream out. However, there was no longer any strength left in my body.

I could only produce soft whimpers of pain.

The ugly man looked like he had been insulted. He abandoned the branding iron and started to poke an iron skewer into my finger as he said, “Scream, ah. I wanna hear you scream, ah.”

I was in so much pain. Nonetheless, inside, I just wanted to laugh. In what part of me had an unyielding attitude, ah? I only had a feeble strength, my body wasn’t strong either, and I simply didn’t have the energy to scream.

Ah.

There was definitely no world creator that was more useless than me.

I secretly thought.

When I was woken up by cold water, I uncontrollably shivered from the coldness.

There was no sunlight in the darkroom. It was already cold in the first place, yet I was also splashed with icy water. This man was really sinister.

Before I could open my eyes, a sweet voice rang out.

“Aren’t you great? Just give up, okay? He doesn’t want you anymore. Rather, he likes me,” she said.

Oh, I didn’t have to open my eyes to know who she was. With such a sweet voice, who else would it be but your xiao shimei?

I’d like to retort, but unfortunately, I didn’t have the strength.

She seemed to feel insulted. The next moment, the barbed whip lashed me intimately. Before leaving, she took some things with her. I guess it should be some flesh. I have to admit that their torture devices were awfully effective.

I thought it would end with me fainting again. Who knew that before I pass out, she screamed.

The sound of your trembling breaths sounded in my ears.

You arrived too late.

There was blood before my eyes; I couldn’t see anything clearly. Amidst the blur, I could only see your hand stopped not far in front of me, as if you didn’t have the courage to touch me.

Coward, even I was not afraid, what were you being afraid of?

“I… I’m here…” 

“…” 

”Xiao Shimei, no, that bitch, I’m just…” 

“…” 

“She said that as long as I treated her well, she wouldn’t hurt you.” 

“…” 

“I’m sorry, I was wrong. I shouldn’t have believed her in the first place.” 

“…” 

“I now own the sect. I’m currently the sect master.” 

“…” 

“I like you.” 

“…” 

“… I’m sorry… Don’t die…”

I looked at you and suddenly wanted to laugh.

“No, it doesn’t… concern… you.” 

That’s what you were supposed to do. That’s what you were supposed to get.

I wasn’t originally from this world.

My eyes were suddenly moist, and my face was wet. You’ve smeared your tears on me again. Last time, it was on my sleeve; this time, great, you directly rubbed against my face.

“I like you, let’s be together.”

 I wanted to say you were just being childish. How could two men be together? Unfortunately, I no longer had any strength left.

Your tears fell increasingly harder, hitting my face one after another. It was excruciatingly painful, hurting me more than any method of torture.

You said you regret listening to me in the first place.

You said you were originally going to spend the rest of your life with just the two of us at the bottom of the mountain.

You said, all your efforts were for me.

You said…

You said a lot, but unfortunately, I could no longer hear anymore.

I finally woke up.

I unexpectedly didn’t die, even if I was injured to that extent.

Lifting my eyes to find you, I realized that I was merely sitting in front of my computer and having a dream.

I thought for a moment that it was real.

Then I woke up from the dream.

I looked at your name on the computer screen and suddenly burst into laughter. Your crying was really ugly, and you even dared to wail so loudly. That was truly humiliating. Let’s see how you would face the disciples in your sect in the future.

It took a long time for me to react; you couldn’t hear my ridicule.

Because — you’re inside the book, I’m outside the book.

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The author has something to say:

What I write is always different from what I want to write.

Do you believe me when I say it’s supposed to be a comedic novel? QAQ

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Translator’s Note

No, author-san. I don’t believe you at all. Can someone hand me a tissue?