Chapter 34- Confession

In this competition Song Shiyue happened to run into a student from Tsinghua University. Zhou Zongbai had come along with his classmate. After the speeches ended, everyone ate dinner together outside.

The other contestant was also in the foreign language major. The two of them had plenty to talk about and exchanged study experiences. The meal ended quickly.

The other person had driven over and offered to drop her back at school on the way. When the car stopped by the roadside, Zhou Zongbai got out with her and walked her to the school gate.

“Are you going home for summer break?” As they said goodbye, Zhou Zongbai asked her.

The summer night breeze blew gently. The boy’s brows and eyes were gentle, clear and bright.

It seemed he couldn’t quite hide a trace of expectation.

Song Shiyue smiled apologetically. Because of the height difference, she had to tilt her face up slightly. Her voice was soft. “I’m not sure yet. The teacher said there might be a study program over the summer break. I’m considering whether to participate.”

“Good.” His expression showed obvious disappointment, but he still kept a smile. Sincerely, he said, “Then let me congratulate you again on winning the championship in this competition.”

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“Alau kxralppkhl, Fsdt Fbkuwl.”

“Mbydj usw.”

“Mbld… R’zz ts qkapv.” Tl prsjl, cwv bkp lulp alxykdle qkmle sd bla. Tl eked’v xshl.

Fsdt Fbkuwl blpkvyvle. Kwpv yp bl oyp ycswv vs vwad yde zlyhl, pbl nyzzle swv, “Hbsw Hsdtcyk.”

“Gb?” Mbl csu zssjle shla okvb fsu yde lmrlnvyvksd sd bkp qynl.

Fbl qlzv y zkvvzl nawlz, cwv pbl pvkzz nbspl vs pbyvvla vbl kzzwpksd, fwpv zkjl vbyv okdvla kd vblka vbkae ulya sq bktb pnbssz.

“Rq — yde R xlyd kq — usw pvkzz zkjl xl… R xktbv dsv cl yczl vs xllv usw ytykd kd vbl qwvwal.” Fbl oyvnble blzrzlppzu yp vbl zktbv kd vbl csu’p lulp ekpyrrlyale zkvvzl cu zkvvzl.

Fsdt Fbkuwl byaeldle bla blyav yde qkaxzu nsdvkdwle, “Jlnywpl R yzalyeu byhl psxlsdl R zkjl.”

“I’m sorry, Zhou Zongbai. You are a very good person. Your future is definitely not limited to this. In the bright path ahead of you, there will definitely be an even better person waiting for you.”

The night remained silent for a long time, as if even the wind had stopped. The streetlights cast a dim yellow glow that could hardly illuminate the darkness.

Zhou Zongbai stayed silent for a long time, his eyes fixed on her without moving. Suddenly, he forced a smile, the corners of his lips pulling up with effort. “Song Shiyue, you’re always so cruel.”

“You never leave anyone with even a bit of hope.”

“No matter how bright the future is, when I think that you won’t be in it, it suddenly doesn’t seem so wonderful anymore.”

“But I still wish you well — that you can be with the person you like and have your wish come true.” In the dim night, the boy’s eyes turned red. When the wind blew, the glass-like lake surface inside them rippled.

“This is the last time we’ll see each other. Can I hug you?” With red-rimmed eyes, he reached out toward her.

Song Shiyue did not refuse. She was gently pulled into the boy’s arms in a light embrace, as gentle as a ripple.

“Goodbye.”

Zhou Zongbai left, and the car parked by the roadside left with him. Song Shiyue stood alone at the gate for a long while before slowly gathering her thoughts. With her eyes lowered, she prepared to enter the school.

“Song Shiyue.”

A familiar voice suddenly came from behind her. Her dazed mind instantly cleared, as if a bucket of cold water had been poured over her.

Song Shiyue turned around and saw Zhu Xingyan not far behind her.

He was wearing a hat and mask, standing under a tree. She didn’t know how long he had been quietly watching.

At this hour, the school cafeteria had already closed.

Only the convenience store was still open, with the aroma of instant noodles and fast food drifting out into the night.

From earlier, the two of them had barely spoken. The moment Song Shiyue saw him, her mind went blank. Before she could think of how to explain, he looked at her quietly and spoke first: “I haven’t eaten yet. Come with me to get something to eat.”

Their reunion after several months had become awkward and distant because of this sudden interruption. Song Shiyue had grown used to the familiar yet slightly childish person on the internet. The suddenly quiet Zhu Xingyan made her feel as if she had returned to their high school days.

There always seemed to be an invisible distance between them, like a thin layer of mist. No matter what she did, she could never get close.

“The school cafeteria is closed, so we can only eat this.” She thought he would, like last time, take her to a quiet, upscale restaurant somewhere far away. But Zhu Xingyan only gestured toward the school gate behind her. “It’s too late. Let’s just eat something simple.”

“I haven’t had a proper look around your school yet.”

The entire school could be walked through in less than ten minutes — it was pitifully small. After passing the closed cafeteria, Song Shiyue could only take him to the convenience store. The warm yellow light looked somewhat cozy among the clusters of tree shadows, and the aroma of food felt comforting.

Zhu Xingyan bent down to select items from the shelves. Song Shiyue recommended the things she often ate, such as yogurt and bubbling oden.

After paying with her campus card, they stepped out. Next to the convenience store was a shabby small rooftop terrace on the second floor. Few people went there usually. The railing was rusty, shaded by trees, and occasionally cleaned by the janitor, with fallen leaves piled up in the corner.

There was no one around at night. Two chairs and an old long table had been placed there, covered with fallen leaves.

Song Shiyue took out tissues to wipe them clean. Zhu Xingyan placed the food he was carrying on the table. The instant noodles gave off a strong aroma, the oden steamed hot, and droplets of water condensed on the surface of the yogurt.

The surrounding chill seemed to be dispelled by an invisible force. The food brought warmth to the night.

Zhu Xingyan ate quietly, his long legs slightly bent as he sat on the rundown little terrace. He held the bowl of instant noodles, his brows and eyes softened by the rising steam.

No one would ever imagine that the superstar who commanded the screen would be eating instant noodles in a deserted corner of a university on such a cold, quiet late night.

He ate at an unhurried pace, but the few items were quickly finished. Zhu Xingyan drank the yogurt sip by sip, his movements casual, his gaze vaguely resting ahead.

“Are you full?” Song Shiyue thought for a moment and asked him.

“I’m full.” The person who had seemed like a painting finally moved slightly. Zhu Xingyan turned his head, his gaze soft as it settled on her.

“I still haven’t congratulated you in person on winning the championship.”

“It’s nothing special. It wasn’t a particularly big competition…” Song Shiyue felt inexplicably shy. She lowered her eyes and said.

“You were really impressive, Song Shiyue.” The slightly familiar words stirred a recent memory. She couldn’t help looking up at him, gazing earnestly as she pressed her lips together.

“The person just now was a friend from my high school.”

“I know.” His calm reply caught Song Shiyue completely off guard. She was stunned for a few seconds.

“Ah?”

“Third year of high school. The temple fair.” Zhu Xingyan spoke as if it were the most ordinary thing. “I happened to see the two of you on the street.”

“Ah… that time…” The memory slowly surfaced in Song Shiyue’s mind. She opened her mouth, then added, “There were several of us friends together, but we didn’t run into you.”

“I was quite far away. Later someone recognized me, so I left early.”

The two light, casual sentences made something click for Song Shiyue. She stared at him steadily, a trace of sadness she herself didn’t notice rising in her eyes.

“So… you saw me with him?”

“Mm. I saw you almost fall, and he caught you.”

It took Song Shiyue a long moment to recall the scene.

That day she had only been alone with Zhou Zongbai twice. Once when Dali and the others went to buy stinky tofu and she was on the crowded street; Zhou Zongbai had helped steady her when she nearly fell.

The other time was on the way home, when they walked together to the bus stop.

In the jumble of memories, one point suddenly became clear, lighting up the tangled threads of the past. She remembered that same crowded temple fair, the hand that had reached out to catch her when she almost fell.

“Was today’s performance something you arranged?”

“It was me. I asked the staff to help coordinate it a little.”

“You… In these past few years you haven’t been able to visit the temple fair. Did you feel a bit regretful?”

“There was one year that was particularly regretful.”

“Now I no longer feel regretful.”

It was as if she had been enlightened. Things she had never deeply considered were now clearly revealed and laid bare in this moment. The pair of eyes watching her were the same clear, dark, and bright ones from the past, but at this moment they carried a faint, gentle smile.

He was clearly smiling, yet Song Shiyue somehow felt sad.

“Zhu Xingyan…” She slowly called his name, her voice soft and gentle. Bit by bit, she explained in detail the past relationship between her and Zhou Zongbai. “Today, I ran into him at the competition venue. He came with his friend who was participating. After it ended, we all had dinner together, and his friend gave me a ride back to school.”

“At the school gate, I took the chance to make things clear with him. I told him…”

“I already have someone I like.”

“We probably won’t see each other again in the future.”

“He wished me well, hoping I could fulfill my wish.”

“Then he asked if, since it was the last time we would see each other, we could hug.”

“I didn’t refuse.”

“From beginning to end, I only ever saw him as a friend. We first met during a competition in our third year of junior high. Over all these years, our relationship was never particularly close, but I… once considered him a friend.” Song Shiyue looked up at him, full of apology, and said with difficulty.

The person in front of her suddenly raised his hand and covered her eyes.

His palm was warm. She froze slightly.

“You don’t have to look at me with such an apologetic expression, Song Shiyue.” His voice by her ear was cool and clear, carried on the light night breeze.

“You don’t need to feel any guilt.”

“You have the complete right to choose freely. No one can demand or interfere with you.”

“…Okay.” She remained stunned for a long time before gently nodding.

“Then I’ll take my hand away now.”

“Okay.”

The darkness lifted, and light returned. She once again met a pair of beautiful, clear black eyes in front of her.

“Then one last question.” Zhu Xingyan stared at her quietly and asked in a soft voice.

“Is the person you like… me?”

…………

The dormitory was empty, unusually quiet.

Song Shiyue lay on the table with her face buried in her arms, lost in a daze. Fortunately, no one was in the dormitory.

She still hadn’t fully recovered from the previous conversation.

—— “Is the person you like me?”

Under the faint light and shadow, the boy’s face seemed covered with a hazy filter. His outline was blurred yet handsome, his features sharp and three-dimensional, like a carefully crafted shot from a movie directed by a master.

His gaze was focused on her, as if looking at a precious treasure. Fans online had once commented that Zhu Xingyan had a pair of deeply affectionate eyes — no one could withstand his concentrated gaze for more than three seconds. Unfortunately, the boy was usually cold toward people and rarely showed tenderness. Every captured moment of him smiling was treasured and shared countless times.

Song Shiyue felt as though she had fallen into a trance, as if bewitched. The secret she had treasured in her heart for many years was about to spill out uncontrollably.

“No, something like this… it seems the boy should say it first.” He suddenly smiled, slowly straightening up. “Song Shiyue…”

A sharp ringtone suddenly pierced the night, cutting through the almost-confession.

He glanced at the phone but didn’t answer. Only when the ringtone rang persistently again did Zhu Xingyan frown and swipe to accept the call.

“Little Flame, were you just at Foreign Affairs College?! You were photographed!! It’s on the news!!”

The man’s loud, anxious, and agitated voice was so loud it made the tree branches tremble. Song Shiyue, sitting right beside him, couldn’t help hearing it. She looked up worriedly just as Zhu Xingyan’s dark eyes met hers.

Their gazes connected. He said a few words into the phone and quickly hung up.

“I… suddenly have something I need to handle.”

“I heard. Is it serious?” Her worry was obvious. Zhu Xingyan held his phone and slowly smiled at her. “It’s not serious.”

He spoke softly, instructing her, “Go back to the dormitory first. Don’t look at the news. I’ll handle it.”

“Song Shiyue, trust me.” Unable to hold himself back any longer, he turned all the feelings he had been forced to suppress into a gentle warmth and let it rest on the top of her head.

Zhu Xingyan gently rubbed the crown of her head with his palm.